my treatments - Missy

[Guest guest]

Hi Missy

I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME.!!!!!!!!!!

Are you paying attention?

Ok.

I dont usually get involved in peoples personal relationships more than a word or two.

But Im going to lay it out to you streight.

Get your butt out of this relationship and living enviorment.

Peroid. No arguements. No hesitations.

I dont care if you have been with this man for 100 years.

Read what you have just posted below.!!!!!!!!!! <---------------

If this is all true..........is what your describing there, what you call love ??????

- You are sleeping on the couch? WTF???

What a place to live while you are on treatment.

- Your husband is physically and verbally abusive of you?

When your puking your guts out from the meds, that should make you feel real good.

Right???

- He wants to spend time with his buddies while you lay there suffering?

I cant think of finer company to have than to be abandoned by those who should be holding me.

THINK ABOUT IT MISSY.

Treatment is going to be very hard mentally and physically on you, even if you have few sides.

Just keeping enough water in your body, and food, and taking your meds on time, and getting enough sleep is going to be a mountain of effort.

You dont need to deal with maintaining an adult child too.

This treatment is so that - YOU - can heal your body, and have a life.

Its not about your husband, or kids, or family members, or friends.

Its all about - YOU.

I will repeat what Teri said to you - LOVE DOESNT HURT.

If you are being hurt, then that is NOT love.

Missy, a lot of us are alone.

I am too....at 60 years old. gad

But I would rather spend the rest of my life alone, than be with 100 people whose loyality and love I constantly have to question.

Make the move tomarrow to better living arraingments, my friend.

Do NOT play this game any longer.

Respect yourself, and demand respect from anyone that wants to associate with you.

You deserve nothing less. <--------------

I say all this because I care about your wellbeing, and I want you to heal.

love

don in ks

From: Kasselman <magick_willow@...>Subject: [ ] my treatments + controlling husband Date: Thursday, November 11, 2010, 9:18 PM

hello group,

sorry i havent wrote for a while, well i've deceided to leave my abusive husband and go stay with my daughter and her husband while i go through treatment, I thought long and hard about it and i know it's for my best interest in leaving my husband behind. i still love him an might always love him, but however he has clearly not shown me real love, not the kind of love a person deserves, he would tell me loves, be all lovey dovey and i'd start to become very happy with us and life, then baaammmm! he'd do something to knock me down and make me cry everytime! damn him i was so angry at him tonight because he will belittle me, then get me upset in tears the whole nine yrds over this past weekend, then he comes home from work everynight acting like nothing happen, he doesnt talk to me though but he'll call his buddies and be laughing and carring on, and talken about getting together this weekend with them, he doesnt even bother to come up to me and tell

me he's sorry, he simply dont give a shit, he knows i'm getting my liver biopsy next week and i'll be starting treatment soon, but he is so selfish and self centered all he cares about is himself and it hurts so much because i always would fall for his fake phoney love he would pretend to give me. just last weekend he was so great, passionate, romantic and very helpful around the house and telling me that he wants to take care of me while i go through treaments, i dont understand how someone can be so cruel. i've been sleeping in the living room! can u believe that? and i pay the damn rent too! have been since we moved in in april, he didnt have a job at the time, now he has a job but blows his money doesnt give me any for the damn rent and bills, talk about a low life scum, then he has the nerve to kick me out of MY bedroom! he says it's his apartment, yet i pay for everything! I just cant do this anymore, i have to be emotionally right be before

i start treatment, so i'm going to forefit my apartment and go live with my daughter, they are very supportive and love me very much, i am so happy to have such a loving daughter and son n law to help me through this. although it sadens me to think about my husband not being there for me, i dont understand why it hurts me so much the things he does to me i mean why do i still care for this man? he's been physically abusive and verbally for yrs now, how could i still love a man for choking me? and holding me down on the bed and shoving his middle finger up my nose twisting it until it popped and blood gushes out? what in the hell is wrong with me, i should have left him a long time ago, now my self esteem is so damn low, i feel like shit, like my chances for love, true love is lost forever, i'm 42 and i fear i'll be by myself for the rest of my life. with this damn illness who knows how long life's going to be!

i am so sad and confused, i just hate feeling like this guys, i feel like a little girl again, it really sucks, i want to love myself and take care of myself

missy

[Guest guest]

Excellent wording Don!!

Hi Missy

I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME.!!!!!!!!!!

Are you paying attention?

Ok.

I dont usually get involved in peoples personal relationships more than a word or two.

But Im going to lay it out to you streight.

Get your butt out of this relationship and living enviorment.

Peroid. No arguements. No hesitations.

I dont care if you have been with this man for 100 years.

Read what you have just posted below.!!!!!!!!!! <---------------

If this is all true..........is what your describing there, what you call love ??????

- You are sleeping on the couch? WTF???

What a place to live while you are on treatment.

- Your husband is physically and verbally abusive of you?

When your puking your guts out from the meds, that should make you feel real good.

Right???

- He wants to spend time with his buddies while you lay there suffering?

I cant think of finer company to have than to be abandoned by those who should be holding me.

THINK ABOUT IT MISSY.

Treatment is going to be very hard mentally and physically on you, even if you have few sides.

Just keeping enough water in your body, and food, and taking your meds on time, and getting enough sleep is going to be a mountain of effort.

You dont need to deal with maintaining an adult child too.

This treatment is so that - YOU - can heal your body, and have a life.

Its not about your husband, or kids, or family members, or friends.

Its all about - YOU.

I will repeat what Teri said to you - LOVE DOESNT HURT.

If you are being hurt, then that is NOT love.

Missy, a lot of us are alone.

I am too....at 60 years old. gad

But I would rather spend the rest of my life alone, than be with 100 people whose loyality and love I constantly have to question.

Make the move tomarrow to better living arraingments, my friend.

Do NOT play this game any longer.

Respect yourself, and demand respect from anyone that wants to associate with you.

You deserve nothing less. <--------------

I say all this because I care about your wellbeing, and I want you to heal.

love

don in ks

From: Kasselman <magick_willow@...>Subject: [ ] my treatments + controlling husband Date: Thursday, November 11, 2010, 9:18 PM

hello group,

sorry i havent wrote for a while, well i've deceided to leave my abusive husband and go stay with my daughter and her husband while i go through treatment, I thought long and hard about it and i know it's for my best interest in leaving my husband behind. i still love him an might always love him, but however he has clearly not shown me real love, not the kind of love a person deserves, he would tell me loves, be all lovey dovey and i'd start to become very happy with us and life, then baaammmm! he'd do something to knock me down and make me cry everytime! damn him i was so angry at him tonight because he will belittle me, then get me upset in tears the whole nine yrds over this past weekend, then he comes home from work everynight acting like nothing happen, he doesnt talk to me though but he'll call his buddies and be laughing and carring on, and talken about getting together this weekend with them, he doesnt even bother to come up to me and tell

me he's sorry, he simply dont give a shit, he knows i'm getting my liver biopsy next week and i'll be starting treatment soon, but he is so selfish and self centered all he cares about is himself and it hurts so much because i always would fall for his fake phoney love he would pretend to give me. just last weekend he was so great, passionate, romantic and very helpful around the house and telling me that he wants to take care of me while i go through treaments, i dont understand how someone can be so cruel. i've been sleeping in the living room! can u believe that? and i pay the damn rent too! have been since we moved in in april, he didnt have a job at the time, now he has a job but blows his money doesnt give me any for the damn rent and bills, talk about a low life scum, then he has the nerve to kick me out of MY bedroom! he says it's his apartment, yet i pay for everything! I just cant do this anymore, i have to be emotionally right be before

i start treatment, so i'm going to forefit my apartment and go live with my daughter, they are very supportive and love me very much, i am so happy to have such a loving daughter and son n law to help me through this. although it sadens me to think about my husband not being there for me, i dont understand why it hurts me so much the things he does to me i mean why do i still care for this man? he's been physically abusive and verbally for yrs now, how could i still love a man for choking me? and holding me down on the bed and shoving his middle finger up my nose twisting it until it popped and blood gushes out? what in the hell is wrong with me, i should have left him a long time ago, now my self esteem is so damn low, i feel like shit, like my chances for love, true love is lost forever, i'm 42 and i fear i'll be by myself for the rest of my life. with this damn illness who knows how long life's going to be!

i am so sad and confused, i just hate feeling like this guys, i feel like a little girl again, it really sucks, i want to love myself and take care of myself

missy

[Guest guest]

Missy:

I haven't been posting in awhile because I've been taken off the meds for the

second time -- and I'm having computer issues at home so my access is limited to

work. But your story prompted me to take the time to respond (while I'm at

work).

1. Listen to the others; love should never hurt like that. I've been through it

all -- get out as soon as you can and don't look back. You have to think about

you now and getting better -- and that man is going to do nothing but drag you

down at a time when you are going to need all your strength just to survive.

Yes, we do hurt when we love when there are reasons to hurt like serious

illness, death, job loss, etc. But we should never, never, hurt because someone

loses control of their emotions.

2. You are 42. My sweet, young thing ... you have so much more life to live.

Like Don, I am 60 and alone. I (we) adopted three children from Russia when I

was 44. Life was good. But then I had to make a decision five years ago to

divorce my husband because he loved alcohol more than he loved me and the

children -- and losing us was not enough to make him change. He lost everything

and then he lost his life. Yes, it is scary to be alone but living in hell is

much worse than being alone. I was finally beginning to feel like myself again

after the years of abuse -- I have even met a guy who I thought I might could

spend the rest of my life with -- when I was diagnosed with Hep C. Fortunately,

because we live very far apart and I don't see him often, and because I'm not

sure what I am facing with possible treatment -- I haven't had to tell him about

the Hep C. I will cross that bridge when/if I have to. Right now, I'm grateful

for the distance. And if it isn't meant to be with him, there may be someone

else -- or I may find that I am perfectly happy being with my friends.

Believe me, there is life after divorce/separation, and love can be found at any

age. I have been ready to tackle this dragon for almost a year now, because I

have the mental capacity to it. I am physically strong and work out regularly

when the meds aren't slowing me down, but apparently internally by body isn't

ready for the war. So I don't know what may lay ahead with treatment. I'm trying

to get with another doc in Nashville who may have another approach. In the

meantime, I'm doing what I can with herbs, good foods and trying to stay

physically strong. I may have to live with Hep C for awhile -- which may scare

away potential partners -- or it may not. But you need to be able to fight this

battle both mentally and physically and the relationship you are in will not

allow that. Please listen. Even if you were not sick, the advice would be the

same. Do not stay in a hurtful relationship. Yes, they always say they are sorry

and act remorsefully -- but until they do something to change themselves, they

are not going to change. You cannot change him -- only he can make that

decision. And right now, he is more concerned about himself that he is you. Take

care of yourself. Pack your bags, move in with your loving daughter and never

look back ... you have a lot of living left to do ...

Been there,

>

>

> From: Kasselman <magick_willow@...>

> Subject: [ ] my treatments + controlling husband

>

> Date: Thursday, November 11, 2010, 9:18 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> hello group,

> sorry i havent wrote for a while, well i've deceided to leave my abusive

husband and go stay with my daughter and her husband while i go through

treatment, I thought long and hard about it and i know it's for my best interest

in leaving my husband behind. i still love him an might always love him, but

however he has clearly not shown me real love, not the kind of love a person

deserves, he would tell me loves, be all lovey dovey and i'd start to become

very happy with us and life, then baaammmm! he'd do something to knock me down

and make me cry everytime! damn him i was so angry at him tonight because he

will belittle me, then get me upset in tears the whole nine yrds over this past

weekend, then he comes home from work everynight acting like nothing happen, he

doesnt talk to me though but he'll call his buddies and be laughing and carring

on, and talken about getting together this weekend with them, he doesnt even

bother to come up to me and tell me

> he's sorry, he simply dont give a shit, he knows i'm getting my liver biopsy

next  week and i'll be starting treatment soon, but he is so selfish and self

centered all he cares about is himself and it hurts so much because i always

would fall for his fake phoney love he would pretend to give me. just last

weekend he was so great, passionate, romantic and very helpful around the house

and telling me that he wants to take care of me while i go through treaments, i

dont understand how someone can be so cruel. i've been sleeping in the living

room! can u believe that? and i pay the damn rent too! have been since we moved

in in april, he didnt have a job at the time, now he has a job but blows his

money doesnt give me any for the damn rent and bills, talk about a low life

scum, then he has the nerve to kick me out of MY bedroom! he says it's his

apartment, yet i pay for everything! I just cant do this anymore, i have to be

emotionally right be before i

> start treatment, so i'm going to forefit my apartment and go live with my

daughter, they are very supportive and love me very much, i am so happy to have

such a loving daughter and son n law to help me through this. although it sadens

me to think about my husband not being there for me, i dont understand why it

hurts me so much the things he does to me i mean why do i still care for this

man? he's been physically abusive and verbally for yrs now, how could i still

love a man for choking me? and holding me down on the bed and shoving his middle

finger up my nose twisting it until it popped and blood gushes out? what in the

hell is wrong with me, i should have left him a long time ago, now my self

esteem is so damn low, i feel like shit, like my chances for love, true love is

lost forever, i'm 42 and i fear i'll be by myself for the rest of my life. with

this damn illness who knows how long life's going to be!

> i am so sad and confused, i just hate feeling like this guys, i feel like a

little girl again, it really sucks, i want to love myself and take care of

myself

> missy

>

[Guest guest]

Oh so very well said !!I just turned 60 a few days ago and the last thing on my mind is another relationship, except friends. Yes, I even suspect that there could be another man in my life at some point; but, I will not be actively looking.My life is very full just the way it is and I have no time to feel lonely. That's why I can joke about saying that the next man in my life better have lots of $$.Gloria

Missy:

I haven't been posting in awhile because I've been taken off the meds for the second time -- and I'm having computer issues at home so my access is limited to work. But your story prompted me to take the time to respond (while I'm at work).

1. Listen to the others; love should never hurt like that. I've been through it all -- get out as soon as you can and don't look back. You have to think about you now and getting better -- and that man is going to do nothing but drag you down at a time when you are going to need all your strength just to survive. Yes, we do hurt when we love when there are reasons to hurt like serious illness, death, job loss, etc. But we should never, never, hurt because someone loses control of their emotions.

2. You are 42. My sweet, young thing ... you have so much more life to live. Like Don, I am 60 and alone. I (we) adopted three children from Russia when I was 44. Life was good. But then I had to make a decision five years ago to divorce my husband because he loved alcohol more than he loved me and the children -- and losing us was not enough to make him change. He lost everything and then he lost his life. Yes, it is scary to be alone but living in hell is much worse than being alone. I was finally beginning to feel like myself again after the years of abuse -- I have even met a guy who I thought I might could spend the rest of my life with -- when I was diagnosed with Hep C. Fortunately, because we live very far apart and I don't see him often, and because I'm not sure what I am facing with possible treatment -- I haven't had to tell him about the Hep C. I will cross that bridge when/if I have to. Right now, I'm grateful for the distance. And if it

isn't meant to be with him, there may be someone else -- or I may find that I am perfectly happy being with my friends.

Believe me, there is life after divorce/separation, and love can be found at any age. I have been ready to tackle this dragon for almost a year now, because I have the mental capacity to it. I am physically strong and work out regularly when the meds aren't slowing me down, but apparently internally by body isn't ready for the war. So I don't know what may lay ahead with treatment. I'm trying to get with another doc in Nashville who may have another approach. In the meantime, I'm doing what I can with herbs, good foods and trying to stay physically strong. I may have to live with Hep C for awhile -- which may scare away potential partners -- or it may not. But you need to be able to fight this battle both mentally and physically and the relationship you are in will not allow that. Please listen. Even if you were not sick, the advice would be the same. Do not stay in a hurtful relationship. Yes, they always say they are sorry and act remorsefully -- but

until they do something to change themselves, they are not going to change. You cannot change him -- only he can make that decision. And right now, he is more concerned about himself that he is you. Take care of yourself. Pack your bags, move in with your loving daughter and never look back ... you have a lot of living left to do ...

Been there,

>

>

> From: Kasselman <magick_willow@...>

> Subject: [ ] my treatments + controlling husband

>

> Date: Thursday, November 11, 2010, 9:18 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> hello group,

> sorry i havent wrote for a while, well i've deceided to leave my abusive husband and go stay with my daughter and her husband while i go through treatment, I thought long and hard about it and i know it's for my best interest in leaving my husband behind. i still love him an might always love him, but however he has clearly not shown me real love, not the kind of love a person deserves, he would tell me loves, be all lovey dovey and i'd start to become very happy with us and life, then baaammmm! he'd do something to knock me down and make me cry everytime! damn him i was so angry at him tonight because he will belittle me, then get me upset in tears the whole nine yrds over this past weekend, then he comes home from work everynight acting like nothing happen, he doesnt talk to me though but he'll call his buddies and be laughing and carring on, and talken about getting together this weekend with them, he doesnt even bother to come up to me and tell

me

> he's sorry, he simply dont give a shit, he knows i'm getting my liver biopsy next week and i'll be starting treatment soon, but he is so selfish and self centered all he cares about is himself and it hurts so much because i always would fall for his fake phoney love he would pretend to give me. just last weekend he was so great, passionate, romantic and very helpful around the house and telling me that he wants to take care of me while i go through treaments, i dont understand how someone can be so cruel. i've been sleeping in the living room! can u believe that? and i pay the damn rent too! have been since we moved in in april, he didnt have a job at the time, now he has a job but blows his money doesnt give me any for the damn rent and bills, talk about a low life scum, then he has the nerve to kick me out of MY bedroom! he says it's his apartment, yet i pay for everything! I just cant do this anymore, i have to be emotionally right be

before i

> start treatment, so i'm going to forefit my apartment and go live with my daughter, they are very supportive and love me very much, i am so happy to have such a loving daughter and son n law to help me through this. although it sadens me to think about my husband not being there for me, i dont understand why it hurts me so much the things he does to me i mean why do i still care for this man? he's been physically abusive and verbally for yrs now, how could i still love a man for choking me? and holding me down on the bed and shoving his middle finger up my nose twisting it until it popped and blood gushes out? what in the hell is wrong with me, i should have left him a long time ago, now my self esteem is so damn low, i feel like shit, like my chances for love, true love is lost forever, i'm 42 and i fear i'll be by myself for the rest of my life. with this damn illness who knows how long life's going to be!

> i am so sad and confused, i just hate feeling like this guys, i feel like a little girl again, it really sucks, i want to love myself and take care of myself

> missy

>