Update continues.........

[Guest guest]

Hey there everyone. I am doing good today, although my emotions are a

mess! I got up and did a colostrum shake and then did my

wieghtlifting vido that is 50 minutes long. I used to do this workout

back when I had my implants, and I used to get so dizzy doing it that

I thought I would fall over. Well today was the first time I have

ever done this video and not felt like that. IT WAS A GREAT FEELING.

Unfortunatly half the women on this video have obvious implants and

that hurts....why can some people be fine with them? Will I ever get

over that feeling I feel I cannot win. My mind keeps playing tricks

on me with this issue. I miss the fullness and the shape of my

implants, but my health is so much more important, I am angry that I

had to give them up. I think therapy is something I need to look

into, I need to figure out why I feel so strongly about breasts....I

mean when I was younger this was not an issue for me. I have some

major body image issues. I mean I struggle with this everyday.

SOmetimes it is so bad I feel I should have just kept the implants,

even though I can see how much better I am feeling now. WHat is up

with my head?

Well...I did a six mile killer treck, jogged most of it, walked fast

up the very steep hills. It was nice to feel clear headed out there

in the sunshine. Life is looking up. I know that when I can accept my

body as it is and as it was meant to be, then I will finally be able

to put this whole nightmare behind me. It is a constant struggle.

I am working hard on getting a rock hard body to be proud of. A

friend of mine in NY who is very ill from implants keeps pictures of

athletic women with flat chests and killer bodies on her fridge to

inspire her of how we can look with out our toxic implants. I like

that idea. I may have to try it.

Ok I am done with my ranting for now. I have to get on with my life,

and I am tons better.....so that is good news.

We need to stick together......we can overcome. I am proof that the

physical part is sometimes easier than the emotional part....

what does not kill us makes us stronger..this I believe