Re: Re: Robin - worries

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Robin,

My heart goes out to you every time I read your post, does your doctor know how depressed and anxious you are? I have not have revision yet but have been to a doctor and know this is something I will probably have to do in the near future, the doctors nurse recommended I start anti-depressants and I plan to do that when I see my

From: robin_vita <robin.vita@...>Subject: [ ] Re: Robin - worries Date: Thursday, January 7, 2010, 11:39 PM

Cam,Thank you for your calming message. I am still full of worry and trying to make it through this hurdle. I really don't know if I will be ok after the surgery. My husband is self employed and working harder and longer than he ever has to keep us afloat. There is tremendous stress on our relationship and I feel that after the surgery, I will be more helpless and increase the burden and stress level. I don't know if my going through with the surgery will cause more resentment from making things more difficult.I am really struggling with this because if the surgery IS the answer to sustaining what little mobility I have left or lessening my pain, and I don't grab at the opportunity now, the situation/circumsta nces may not be available again in the future. We are struggling to maintain our health insurance and are paying over $1600/month.I know my medical history/studies and Dr Rand's accepting me as a candidate, with the

healthcare concerns/uncertaint ies of the future, it probably is no coincidence that I have a scheduled surgery date. Dr Rand even had to add a surgery day to his schedule because he had an emergency case and that was the only way he could fit me in when I had to be rescheduled. I just have so much fear of all the unknowns. Yes, I know the unknowns may never happen and I just need to get to the other side, but I need help. I have become so disabled and dependent and have gained more weight than I can carry because of the immobility and the increasing pain. I barely get out of the apartment and can feel the isolation is increasing the anxiety and depression. I am seeing all the appropriate docs, but none seem to be adequately managing my care. Dr Rand is the only one with concrete evidence and a plan of care. Radical though it may seem, (and I'm not too comfortable with all that hardware) I have been given no other options. If I wait, I

may never have the surgery. I do not know how the future would play out. What I do know is that in the last two years, I have really gone downhill at an alarming rate. I would probably be unable to go on walking and be wheelchair bound. Would you possibly consider mentoring me and could you tell me what that would entail? Maybe I have too many issues for a single mentor. I have talked some on the telephone with and and have emailed back and forth with people. I just wish I could get to the end of the story so I could rest a bit easier. I'm really going crazy!Glad you folks are all here me. It really dies help!Robin>> Robin,> >

I am so sorry you are still feeling so unclear about your upcoming surgery.. I do know, on the one hand, that it would be so much nicer if this whole thing came with a guarantee... but sadly it doesnt...so you really must just feel your way along in the dark places and hope that you eventually start to see daylight again, no matter what you decide to do.> > My own personal belief is that using your human gifts to imagine a positive outcome for yourself is one thing you can do that has little economic downside, and little effort is required. Picturing yourself safely on the "other side" is an image you can create for yourself and will help you dwell on the positive.> > I dont know if you went ahead and got the Successful Surgery CD, but I tried to look back through the internet and find the information that originally led me to that CD. This is an interesting article on the mind-body connection, and it references a study on

spine fusion patients and the improved outcomes when using Bellruth's tape:> > http://www.thebodys oulconnection. com/Newsletter/ issue7.html> > Patients that used the CD actually had significantly less blood loss and did better overall. Of course this could all be new age "hocum"...but I at least felt I was doing something... which felt positive for me, so I encourage you to use these extra few weeks trying it!> > Also, since you have extra time, there may be a member with a copy that they can send to you...even using it for just a week can make a difference.> > I really wish you peace with whatever you decide. > > Take Care, Cam>