RE: i am officially going stir crazy

[Guest guest]

Do you have a hobby, like sewing,

needlework, knitting, crocheting, beadwork, etc.? If you do crafts, then you

might want to start on some early Christmas gifts for next season, or birthday

gifts. Or maybe this is a good time to learn something new like a computer

program, language, new career?

Just a thought.

Llweyn

BC, Canada

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: January-02-10 3:05 PM

Subject: [ ] i am

officially going stir crazy

I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel pretty good but

we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get out of this house and i am going

stir crazy. I can start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

it until i get used to driving again. My hubby and daughter have taken me out

to eat which is good but i just want to be able to hop in the car and run an

errand or go walking at the mall. I have to be so careful walking outside to

not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading and just hanging around. Snow

is forcasted for the next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the

dead of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to vent.

wendy

[Guest guest]

,

I know exactly how you feel! By the 8th week I was soooo bored and the cabin

fever was awful! I was addicted to reality TV, something I refused to watch

before my surgery. I thought I'd be able to scrapbook or take an online course,

but couldn't sit still long enough.

Hang in there... you'll get your life back.

-Dyann

> From: <wendywoodard@...>

> Subject: [ ] i am officially going stir crazy

>

> Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM

> I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel

> pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get

> out of this house and i am going stir crazy.  I can

> start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

> it until i get used to driving again.  My hubby and

> daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just

> want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go

> walking at the mall.  I have to be so careful walking

> outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading

> and just hanging around.  Snow is forcasted for the

> next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead

> of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to

> vent.

> wendy

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision

> candidates

[Guest guest]

I haven't even had the surgery and I don't know if it is a good decision, but it

is scheduled for January 18 and I am so discouraged at how bent I get with the

littlest task. I am otherwise very debilitated and depressed with fibromyalgia

and I am tired of being left/stuck home alone because I am too lousy to be part

of life or to brave the elements even when it isn't snowing. It feels like

Christmas and New Years just skipped my essence entirely!

I wish I wasn't so isolated. I try to converse back and forth with emails and

chat/groups, but I don't want to bother anyone by calling them on the phone, nor

do I think they really want to put up with me. I sit hunched trying to compose

a simple email and I am so slow that it often will take me two hours to compose

the message and proof it before sending and by that time, I am pretty stuck.

I really don't know what is going to happen to me, but I really feel that I

couldn't do the work or save myself if I tried.

I'm not going crazy, I've been there for quite some time. And it feels so

hopeless.

Robin

>

> > From: <wendywoodard@...>

> > Subject: [ ] i am officially going stir crazy

> >

> > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM

> > I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel

> > pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get

> > out of this house and i am going stir crazy.  I can

> > start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

> > it until i get used to driving again.  My hubby and

> > daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just

> > want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go

> > walking at the mall.  I have to be so careful walking

> > outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading

> > and just hanging around.  Snow is forcasted for the

> > next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead

> > of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to

> > vent.

> > wendy

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision

> > candidates

[Guest guest]

Robin,

My heart goes out to you, nobody should be feeling the sadness and fear you are struggling with. While my situation is not as grim as yours, I too struggle with the loss of abilities and not being able to do what was once easy and comfortable. There are days when I am very sad and stressed and feel very alone and disconnected with those who don't have the limitations I do. Then there are days when I am thankful for the things I can do as I know I could be much worse off than I am. You are in a much tougher spot and you need to know that there are people out here that really care about you and the difficulties you are dealing with. It sounds to me like this surgery is something you need to do as your life is becoming very difficult. I have not had revision surgery and I am not in as much pain as many others here are, so I cannot speak to the benefit of this surgery. However, from reading your posts and those of others who have come through the revision, it seems that you are at a point where the risk of surgery is worthwhile. What does your surgeon say are the chances he can improve your condition? If he feels that there is every chance of making things better for you, then this may be the best thing for you to do. I know this is a hard thing to face, I think about it myself quite often especially on those days when I am really hurting. Try and use relaxation techniques like deep breathing - really deep slow breaths in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth - to help you calm yourself and try to give yourself a break from thinking about this. (We have to do this with my son who as significant anxiety issues.) I know it's easier said than done, but you sound like you are really in a bad way emotionally so it is worth the effort to try and give yourself a break from thinking about this pending surgery. You certainly can't do anything about it at this minute, so take some time to read a book or some other activity that will take your mind off of this, at least for a little while.

Robin, you may just be at the beginning of what could be a huge positive change in your life. This upcoming surgery may give you back some or all of what you have lost. Try envisioning yourself walking straight and tall, with little or no pain. Try and picture how good you will look once this surgery is done. Sometimes we get so used to negative thinking (I know because I'm the queen of bad thoughts!) that we always default to the most frightening and scary options our minds can imagine. Don't do this! This surgery has a very good chance of turning your life around so focus on the good.

I'm praying that you find some peace of mind tonight and that this surgery gives you your life back. Hang on!

Jeanne

[ ] i am officially going stir crazy> > > > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM> > I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel> > pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get> > out of this house and i am going stir crazy. I can> > start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance> > it until i get used to driving again. My hubby and> > daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just> > want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go> > walking at the mall. I have to be so careful walking> > outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading> > and just hanging around. Snow is forcasted for the> > next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead> > of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to> > vent.> > wendy > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------> > > > scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision> > candidates

[Guest guest]

Jeanne,

My mind tells me that I'm not that bad that I should have the surgery because

sometimes, I seem ok. I also don't know how much the fibromyalgia enters in to

it. And on top of that, I read about being depressed and discouraged about 6-12

weeks into recovery. And I worry about being miserable and struggling with the

new hardware. I can picture myself being home and helpless with the

restrictions and slow recovery process and this really causes more worry as I am

already very down.

I currently can thoughtlessly bend and pick stuff up from the floor and I do

everything by bending or with leverage like in the bend of my elbow to open a

window or door with the full weight of my body against it because I have no

strength and my ligaments are very lax. I feel so pyhsically unstable that I am

worried about bending or twisting and messing up the surgery.

Dr Rand of course feels that fusion with hardware will benefit me by stopping or

slowing the lumbar degeneration. He makes no guarantees and says that the

decision to have surgery is " with the owner " . I just wish I could get inside

his mind becauase he is only objectively answering and this doesn't make me feel

comfortable either way. I guess I would continue to deteriorate, though I have

no idea to what extent or how soon if I don't have the surgery. To his credit,

I must say that once it started to collapse, it seemed to advance rapidly.

Another scenario in my mind is that I have surgery, but that I am unable to

" bounce back " or that the pain may not be resolved or perhaps may further

aggravate the fibromyalgia and then there is always the possibility that my body

may be extremely unhappy and struggle with the instrumentation which will be

alongside the vertebrae to be fused with rods and pedicle screws,

secured/anchored to the existing solid fusion above, also attached to the top of

the sacrum and over to both iliac crests. All this to protect the surgical site

as the fusion heals which takes 9-12 months. Just seems like nothing that I am

used to.

If I already feel that I have no strength or stability and am leaning on my

forearms to take the pressure off my back/hips, and I already feel like my

muscles/flesh is hanging from this (fused)pole of a spine, I don't know how I

will be able to tolerate the hardware which will be pulling/holding me up/back.

I would think my torso soft tissues would be trying to flex/spasm/pull forward

againts the framework. This makes me anxious because once the surgery is done,

it would be a terribly depressing regret.

Happy New Year and Best Wishes to All.

Robin

> >

> > > From: <wendywoodard@>

> > > Subject: [ ] i am officially going stir crazy

> > >

> > > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM

> > > I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel

> > > pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get

> > > out of this house and i am going stir crazy. I can

> > > start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

> > > it until i get used to driving again. My hubby and

> > > daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just

> > > want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go

> > > walking at the mall. I have to be so careful walking

> > > outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading

> > > and just hanging around. Snow is forcasted for the

> > > next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead

> > > of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to

> > > vent.

> > > wendy

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ------------------------------------

> > >

> > > scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision

> > > candidates

[Guest guest]

robin -

i had my last fusion surgery (that resulted in flatback) to prevent further

lumbar disc degeneration. i thought for the first time in my life, i was going

to take a pro-active approach to my spinal health. you kinow the old saying

about it's easier to prevent a problem as apposed to fixing a problem. i too

struggled with whether or not to have the surgery. i really wasn't that bad,

but i knew i didn't want to get any worse. i believe that the surgery was the

right thing to do, i just had the wrong surgeon. my last surgery was my third.

for the first time, i had depression set in about week 4. this was also when

the flatback reared it's ugly head. my body has been screaming at me for two

and a half years now. now there isn't a minute in the day, that i think that

i'm not that bad. i know that revision surgery is my only hope to have quality

of life. so this time i have no doubts. whether the results of my next surgery

are good or bad, i have to take the chance. if it is the right thing, i believe

you will know. if you need more time to be sure...take it.

kathy

> > >

> > > > From: <wendywoodard@>

> > > > Subject: [ ] i am officially going stir crazy

> > > >

> > > > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM

> > > > I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel

> > > > pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get

> > > > out of this house and i am going stir crazy. I can

> > > > start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

> > > > it until i get used to driving again. My hubby and

> > > > daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just

> > > > want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go

> > > > walking at the mall. I have to be so careful walking

> > > > outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading

> > > > and just hanging around. Snow is forcasted for the

> > > > next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead

> > > > of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to

> > > > vent.

> > > > wendy

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ------------------------------------

> > > >

> > > > scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision

> > > > candidates

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

How many surgeries did you have and why? Was hardware used in the earlier

surgeries? Was it doe scoliosis? How many curves or degrees per curve? How many

surgeries were for flatback revision and how long is/are your fusions?

Robin

> > > >

> > > > > From: <wendywoodard@>

> > > > > Subject: [ ] i am officially going stir crazy

> > > > >

> > > > > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM

> > > > > I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel

> > > > > pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get

> > > > > out of this house and i am going stir crazy. I can

> > > > > start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

> > > > > it until i get used to driving again. My hubby and

> > > > > daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just

> > > > > want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go

> > > > > walking at the mall. I have to be so careful walking

> > > > > outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading

> > > > > and just hanging around. Snow is forcasted for the

> > > > > next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead

> > > > > of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to

> > > > > vent.

> > > > > wendy

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ------------------------------------

> > > > >

> > > > > scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision

> > > > > candidates

[Guest guest]

81 degree S curve. 1979 harringtom rod (no fusions). resulted in left leg

paralyzed. 1981 removed broken rod. waited 25 years for technology to catch

up. 2007, fourteen inch double rods with eighteen 3 inch screws, fused at

L4/L5/S1. like i said, i wanted to be pro- active. i had degenerated discs &

bone on bone at lumbar area, but was still very active. i knew that surgery

would be in my future, i just didn't know when. so i decided to have a

preventative surgery, instead of an emergency surgery. i still believe it was

the right thing, even though i came out FAR worse than what i went in. i should

have done more research on my surgeon. my result is probably your nightmare. i

was so sure i was going to be ok. my fusions failed immediately after surgery.

my body constanty fights the hardware. it was supposed to be the surgery to end

all future surgeries. i am so disfigured now. your surgeon is highly regarded

in the two groups i'm in on the net. if it's not URGENT, take the time to

really decide. i don't regret my decision, only my doctor. i believe if you

are clear & comfortable with your decision to have revision, you will have a

better focus on your recovery. everyone in this group is aware of the many

complications that can result from revision. it's not any easy decision.

really scary, matter of fact. i know that i am like the opposite of you...i am

counting the days when i can have my revision. i can't live like this. i had

the luxury to take the time to decide about my last surgery. do what's right

for you, not just what others suggest. they call it a medical " opinion " for a

reason.

good luck...........kathy

> > > > >

> > > > > > From: <wendywoodard@>

> > > > > > Subject: [ ] i am officially going stir crazy

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 6:04 PM

> > > > > > I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel

> > > > > > pretty good but we have had a lot of snow and i cannot get

> > > > > > out of this house and i am going stir crazy. I can

> > > > > > start to drive but the roads have been bad so i can't chance

> > > > > > it until i get used to driving again. My hubby and

> > > > > > daughter have taken me out to eat which is good but i just

> > > > > > want to be able to hop in the car and run an errand or go

> > > > > > walking at the mall. I have to be so careful walking

> > > > > > outside to not fall too...I am sick of watching tv, reading

> > > > > > and just hanging around. Snow is forcasted for the

> > > > > > next day or two too...maybe having this surgery in the dead

> > > > > > of winter wasnt a good idea. thanks for listening..needed to

> > > > > > vent.

> > > > > > wendy

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ------------------------------------

> > > > > >

> > > > > > scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision

> > > > > > candidates