's progress

[Guest guest]

This seems to be a weekend of positive changes for so many!!

I've been rewarding my dogs for not jumping all over the kids coming over to

see tom. We're talking 2 boxers who think they are the size of cats! Each

time I think " Why am i doing this? " I remember its behaviour modification -

just like with the kids!! except their reward is doggy cookies broken into

pieces to last longer!!

LINDA,

you must be soooo proud of s progress! Is he into the after shave

yet?? Tom never leaves the house without scent!

Like you, we had tom in a group home for a year - and since he's back the

changes have been absolutly amazing. The commitment by all the family

members to accomodate each other has made a big difference around here. You

and I can both breath a little easier this week!

To the YELLERS!!

Gaining control over yourself takes time and practice, just like any other

learned behaviour!! Years ago I used to be a yeller, so we developed a

signal between yigal and I to draw attention to it. This was about 2 years

before ocd moved in with us. Since then, I never raise my voice!! In fact,

if I was to yell, everyone would get very nervous around here!! I lower my

voice when I want everyone else to lower theirs (at home or work), or exit

the area. Not yelling has also left me with more energy.

Drinking any kind of relaxation tea, having a hobby that completly

distracts you and exersice are good, healthy ways of taking care of

yourself. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I joined a craft class to get

away from ocd, well, this week another ocd mom was in the class!! I still

had a wonderful time and cant wait until next week's class!

This list has been a wonderful support to me since it began 2/1999!!

take care all over you!! wendy, in canada

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[Guest guest]

HI :

Thank you for sharing your family's successes. What a lot of improvement

in such a short time, you guys are all great!!

Sometimes when we feel most hopeless a small change can just have a domino

effect on improving things all round. It certainly sounds like your family

is pulling strongly as a team together against OCD. Often I think the

family is the best weapon in our arsenal in the battle against OCD. CBT

can really help, also meds, but combining these with a concerted effort by

the family is a powerful combination which will push OCD much further into

the background of our children's lives.

Although I have been important to Steve in his recovery, at his age,

reinforcement by his dad is even more meaningful. The challenge of OCD can

be an incredible opportunity for our kids to get closer to their fathers at

a time when we often mistakenly feel they want to be practically

independent. Sometimes I am shocked how much my views of parenting have

changed since OCD came to stay. Take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 10:44 PM 09/24/2000 -0000, you wrote:

>Hi Everyone,

> I have really tried to get this message posted, but I have lost

>it several times. Two weeks ago I was sitting here crying, as my son

>was so depressed, refused to go to school, etc. The first thing we

>did was take away the writing-and when he finally believed we meant

>it, he got more cooperative about school,like by 9-15. On that day

>we all went to family therapy also, and everyone but me (oh, I am so

>perfect!!-just kiddin') was reamed out. You see we have a three

>legged stool in this family and the stool was only standing on one

>leg-me. That night, my husband took Mike out and the next day he got

>up in a good mood and didn't fight me about meds, and even did his

>homework, with minimal supervision in 1 hour! I thought Saturday was

>a fluke. Dad also started doing his brushing and massaging morning

>and nite (thank you for giving my arthritic fingers a rest) and then

>they went out again Sunday. GREAT WEEKEND last weekend. I praised

>both husband and son for the wonderful job they were doing (finally)

>and supported them. I really didn't believe I see much more milage

>as 2 days in a row is a record. Can you believe Monday Mike got up

>early, took a shower without being asked, and wanted to go to

>school. I thought I was dreaming!! Poof. A neighbor knocks on my

>door to tell me Mike is laying in the street out of it and bleeding.

>It seems that Mike tripped over his untied shoe lace,(he always blows

>me off when I suggest he tie it) fell, landed on his forehead, cut

>himself, and knocked himself out. Of course, the pediatrician made

>me take him to the ER for eval and CT scan. He had a concussion-no

>stitches needed. I was told the usual stuff-wake him every 4 hours

>etc, to make sure he was okay. Well, my gut said to call the

>psychiatrist as she prescribes all his meds, and basically takes care

>of his brain. I am glad I did. He had to stop most of his meds for

>24 hours as they were sedative, and could complicate the concussion.

>Now I only handed the ER a complete list of his meds, and they didn't

>say a word. So, to other moms, if your kid has a concussion, call

>the psychiatrist also. Unfortunately, he was awful off meds for 24

>hours. I don't want to do that again. But he was restarted Tuesday,

>and off to school he went, proud of his battle badges. (Proud once

>the doctor in the ER told him he was fine, until then he was crying

>and fearful he was going to die, and his leg didn't stay still).

>School went well the rest of the week. I saw Mike return to the

>sweet caring kid he was 3 years ago, polite, helpful, cooperative,

>all week. He was excited to go to school, did homework easily (of

>course I wrote it), and even tried out for the Glee club and made

>it. Last week he joined the school newspaper, (so he could practice

>writing a little-his idea,not mine), the AV club and signed up to be

>a library aid and student facilitator. (Just a little obsesses with

>extracirricular activities!!). Last year he came home crying almost

>every day as he had no friends, kids picked on him, etc, etc. And it

>is now Sunday evening and things are still perking along. Dad and

>Mike went shopping for an outfit for the school dance (this Friday)

>last nite, and went out today for accessories-what he's a boy!

>Wallet and key chain!! Even when he got angry at dad last nite as he

>wouldn't buy him something he impulsively decided he wanted, he just

>swore at him-so much progress! And I called dad at work one day this

>week and asked him to bring Mike a treat (candy bar) from him to

>compliment him on his great behavior. Mike was thrilled that dad

>noticed his changed behavior and rewarded him. (I'll call every

>week, as behavior changes slowly!) He even cooperated in family

>therapy the Friday. I don't know if it is the time dad is spending

>with him, the new med kicked in and the depression is gone, or the

>concussion, but I am not going to complain. This is the absolute

>happiest and best behaved Mike has been in 3 years. Dad too!! So

>those prayers do get answered, sometimes we just have to wait a long

>time.

> I know that we are not out of the woods yet. This Thursday we

>have an IEP meeting and not only is the child study team and his

>teachers going to be there, but also the family therapist (who also

>sees Mike individually) and the OT. I am having the psychiatrist and

>CBT write there recommendations since they can not attend. And I am

>re-writing his IEP the way I feel he needs it. A friend is a special

>ed teacher and she said that I can ask for anything, they are not

>going to offer us stuff. She is going to review the revised IEP

>before our meeting. Thank you to all who gave me information on

>this. It really did help. I think just removing the overwhelming

>writing lessened his anxiety, and allowed him to be productive, and

>work on other areas. Rituals decreased also.

> Again, thanks for being there for me, offering me hope and

>suggestions and comfort. You all are great. I wish I had found you

>a long time ago. Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Hi ~

I realized I had skipped over your post cuz, it was kind of long. I just read it and wanted to say "Good Job!" You made it through a tough episode there -with your wits all about you. I am proud I am also so happy to hear that is getting along better in school and in general. I completely relate to your weariness in rejoicing, it is part of the ride OCD gives us I am afraid. I wanted to let you know that we had a similar experience with our son Ian recently. I was SURE he wasn't getting any of the Luvox I was giving him in his milk. It isn't water soluble and there would be residue all over the inside of the cup. So, I decided to see what would happen if I didn't give him any. Hello Mom! Anyway, he was a mess for about three days. Slapping his face, frustrated and annoyed with everything. I'm starting to wonder if he has a mood disorder more than OCD. We started him back on the meds, I kid you not he has been SO wonderful. Silly, happy, compliant, easily distracted from upsetting moments. It has been so wonderful. Can it be we are waning? Or does it have to do with the three day break? It has been a week already, since I tried that stupid move. Take Care ,

Joy (Ventura, CA)

[Guest guest]

I missed a meal this afternoon and my hubby got on me

about it....I just did the " church woman " Sat. Nite

Live - Satan thing and he left me alone. I'm looking

forward to showing him up. We did Ab bootcamp this

morning after our cardio and I did a better job....he

said, man, I thought I was in better shape than

this....I just give him a sympathetic nod and grin all

over inside. Keep up the strong effort!

C

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am quickly learning the importance of this group! I'm not feeling

very well today (tired, headache, period, short-tempered, etc) and

all I could think about was chocolate. But, before I dove head first

into a bag of Kisses, I thought about all the BFL ladies, and

everything I've read.

Someone, sorry that I forget who, said that when they want to eat

something they shouldn't they stop and think, " What do I want? Do I

want to eat chocolate, or do I want to be fit? " And, my first

thought was CHOCOLATE! But, the more I thought about it, the less I

wanted it. So, to whoever you are THANK YOU!

I am lucky that my husband is doing this along with me. He first did

BFL several years ago and lost 90lbs. And he's maintained it within

15 - 20 lbs over the years. He's the one who got me all motivated to

try this. We've only been married 4 months, and I think this

challenge will only bring us closer. Plus, today I realized what a

great man he is. After doing our cardio this morning, we came home

and I was complaining about cramps and really being whiney. When I

got out of the shower, he had made or mid-morning snacks (breakfast

burrito) and packed my lunch. It's the little things you know.

This is only my second week, but I am already so glad that I'm

getting the extra weight off now. I'm hoping that this will set the

tone for our marriage, that we continue to eat well and exercise all

through our marriage. Plus, I think it will help me have a healthier

pregnancy and delievery when we do decide to have kids. And, I hope

set a good example for those kids.

Sorry, I guess I'm being a little hormonal and sentimental.

Thanks for listening.

> Well, , etc.

>

> I'm in my 4th week, and I'm looking forward to weighing (maybe) and

> measuring inches and body fat this coming Sunday morning (Free

day!)

> *before* I eat and *after* I go to the bathroom (Nothing happens

before I go

> to the bathroom, except turn off the alarm, lol!). I better see

some

> changes...I'm feeling stronger, lifting more, the muscles in my

arms look

> bigger to me...But it's hard to say.

>

> Before I started, I thought I needed/wanted to get back to about

120 lbs,

> meaning I would lose about 45. Now, however, after learning so much

about

> muscle weight vs. fat weight, etc., I'd rather weigh a bit more

(maybe 130

> or so?) and be very comfortable in size 8s (or 6s?). Scale weight

is so

> unimportant to me now. It's those ripped abs I'm after!!!

>

> As for my husband, while he'd like me to get in shape, he

vacillates between

> very encouraging (buying me the Success Journal, asking how my

workout went,

> etc.) and very discouraging ( " you've never done it before " , " why

should I

> believe you when you say you'll do it this time? " ). However, this

*feels*

> different than I've ever felt before -- I'm more committed to the

way of

> life. I'm DOING IT. He has admitted that this time I seem

different. But

> now, whenever he gets into his discouraging mode, I just use that

to propel

> me forward. BTW, he goes to the gym almost every morning, and can't

> understand why he isn't getting the results he wants...yes, he

knows about

> BFL, but for now, he's being BOB -- " eat like that? Too

hard. " " workout like

> that? how can that little be effective? I'd rather workout for 2

hours so I

> can talk about how long I workout every day.... " (Well, he wouldn't

actually

> say those things, but that's the idea!) So, for now, I go it alone,

planning

> to really show him up in the fitness category of life!!!!!!

>

> I've decided to use some of the motivating phrases from the books

(BFL and

> Success Journal) typed up for the walls of my BFL " shrine " that

I've heard

> others talk about. I think it will be out in the garage with the

weights,

> but I don't usually go out there on my cardio day, so maybe

somewhere else

> would be better?

>

> Before I had the Journal I was using separate sheets, and just

marking what

> I did. I'm glad I have the journal, though, because, like you, I

love to see

> the pictures and the writings from Bill and other people who have

done this.

> I can't get enough of the pictures either. I also love looking at

the

> pictures of the ladies from this group --- 's pictures are

incredible!

> I think my family thinks it's really funny how I'm online admiring

women's

> abs and biceps, etc. Like you said, like a teenage boy drooling

over

> cars...I wanna be that fit!!!

>

> Tomorrow's my upper body workout (UBWO) -- which might be my

favorite.

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I spoke to 's husband yesterday and she is doing great. She is up walking

with a walker and getting about on her own. They are having an issue finding

pain control that she can tolerate but as soon as that happens they will

probably spring her. Yah! she did great. C