Guest guest Posted May 28, 2003 Report Share Posted May 28, 2003 Kenny, It all depends on your MRI but for me, my disc was ruptured... but doc didnt want me in surgery the next day, he wasnt in it for the money, he's in it for the healing (thank you for Those docs!!) Anyhow, I started out with muscle relaxers, other meds, to try to relax the disc back in place... when that didn't work, went for physical therapy... Epidural blocks... then as it turned out surgery was the only way it could be taken care of... well, for 2 weeks, my disc re-ruptured that soon. I have an idea how but who knows (ex roommate didnt help at all, I was doing stuff, complained and he got abusive, he was an...) anyhow, that's how it all went for me, both times before I went into surgery. In answer to your next question, I think Nick, Joe, , most everyone (not all) but Most would say see a Neurologist. You didn't break your arm and you're dealing with nerves... tho Ortho's are trained in both, I don't know anyone that has gone to an Ortho and been happy. I started out with an ortho... but a neuro did my surgeries, I realized an ortho was not who I needed. As far as the tingling questions, I don't have that I hve actual pain and nerve pain, my GUESS would be pinched nerve, but your MRI will say what's up hopefully. If the one you have doesn't give you answers, maybe you should also ask a doc for a lower MRI to be done (tho there's a time issue at hand b/c of insurance, and I know you said $$ also), but either way I'd go with a neuro and he/she can tell you the next step to take if the MRI doesnt show anything. One piece of advice that's important.. get your MRI films before you leave. No matter what they tell you, you're paying for them and you should walk out of there with copies of the actual films. My " aunts " (my mom and her grew up together as kids so...I'm Very close to her)daughter has brain cancer... and my aunt has a closet full of all her MRI's (copies) taken over the years of her brain. They told her no once and that was the last time, she said I'm paying for them just as I'd pay for milk at the grocery store and I'm not leaving without what I paid for (She's stubborn but very right lol). It does not cost them any more money to make copies right then and there, a couple MRI techs have told me this...so grab 'em. Later you can request the copy of the report that goes with them. I have my papers sitting right here from my EMG that I had done last Monday, I picked those up last Wednesday (obviously different kind of test so I had to wait for that to be done)Take it easy at work and I hope all goes well on Thurs with your MRI! Connie here comes STUPID INJURY MAN! > Hi Pete. > > Thanks again for your encouraging words. Yes, it's me again, STUPID > INJURY MAN! " Hyperflexion stretching injury " , man alive do I feel > like a moron. Oh well, I guess I'm just not as flexible as I was at 18. What about the body tingling and leg tingling? Could that also be a cervical problem? I've been noticing lately on my right foot that it gets numb sometimes .. . . before the injury only the big toe got numb (usually due to cold temperature). I'm thinking that perhaps I have a herniated disc in my back and that is causing the leg tingling (although the tingling seems to be in both legs). I don't really > have shooting pains down the leg, but tingling and my leg muscles have been really cramped and sore. I go for an MRI Thursday, and here is my question: is there anything they can do if they do find the problem? And my other question is this: if the non-contrast cervical MRI shows no apparent problems, should I then go to a neurologist or an orthopeadic specialist? Any suggestions? Thanks again Pete and everyone, you've been very supportive and believe it or not I've really needed some encouragement lately . . . between hating myself for such a stupid injury, starting a new job and being preoccupied with my health, and trying not to annoy my girlfriend too much, I swear I've been going crazy (the anxiety pills help a little, but not a lot). So yeah, thank you everyone for the encouragement and support. My girlfriend keeps telling me I'm going to be alright, and I want to believe her . . . I'm trying to believe her . . . I just need to have a more positive attitude. It's not the end of the world but I've been acting as such. Blessings to you all. -Kenny -- _______________________________________________ Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 JOEEEEE DONT EVER SAY THAT!!!!! I would be heart broken.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 Hi all. Just got back from a mental hospital. It's a long story. I tried to kill myself . . . twice. The reason I tried to kill myself was I had an episode where my vision suddenly blurred and I felt like I was having either a stroke or an anuerysm and I didn't want to be a vegetable so I took a bunch of Flexeril (muscle relaxer). It only made me sleep a long time, the next day I tried carbon monoxide but my girlfriend and her mom arrived home before I even passed out. My gf took me to the hospital, I was in the ER forever (they were concerned about my heart rate and BP) and then I went to triage for a day or two and then I spent two weeks in Behaivoral Health. They contacted my neurologist, and also they had a team of neurologists check me out. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that while in the ER my vision suddenly worsened and I thought I was going to go blind so I stabbed myself in the neck a bunch of times with a prong from a plastic fork (very hard to do mind you) trying to hit an artery in my neck but I couldn't/didn't. I managed to do this in spite of the fact that I was considered a 51/50 and was supposed to be under constant watch. Anyway I'm on meds now and the diagnosis is somatism disorder even though my neuro wants " another cervical MRI with fine sections, in contrast, to rule out cervical pathology within the neurosurgical realm " (his words). Oh, also my heart rate is really high now (90-100 bpm resting) which the psychiatrist thinks is due to anxiety (they did ECG and also I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours just to make sure). The bottom line is I have had all sorts of physical stuff happen since my stupid injury (which I have let ruin my life) and I will admit that it's probably a combination of nerve damage and somatic symptoms. Right now I have burning pain in my low back and buttocks/hips. Also my vision is a bit blurry and has gone from 20/15 in both eyes to 20/25. I know it was very selfish of me to try to end my life but with no answers as to what was going on with me physically, the mounting medical bills and my fear of becoming incapacitated I felt it was the only way out. I now realize that's not the case, although I'm still very depressed even though I've been on meds for 2 weeks now. The psychiatrist thinks that past issues (I was sexually molested as a child) are a major cause of what I've been experiencing, and that the injury was the trigger and my defense mechanism was somatism. I don't remember a lot of my childhood (repression was my defense mechanism I suppose) and I disagree with the diagnosis, I was coping ok in life prior to the injury. At any rate now you all know what has happened to me. I don't expect any sympathy, in fact I will probably be rebuked even more harshly than before, I only ask that you try not to judge me or my actions. The bottom line is I have been harder on myself than anyone else ever would be and that's something I'm trying to change. > Havent heard from you, what's going on? Just wondered if you were going to answer our questions or if you decided to leave the group b/c of us asking them? > > -- > __________________________________________________________ > Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com > http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup > > CareerBuilder.com has over 400,000 jobs. Be smarter about your job search > http://corp.mail.com/careers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 Kenny - Good to hear from you. It's been a while. I wish I had the courage to commit suicide, but knowing my luck, I'd screw it up, become a paraplegic and live for 150 years. I hope that you are getting the medical diagonistics you need. I understand the " hurry up and wait " mentality of doctors and clinics, but it's just something we have to live with. Please keep us informed, especially when they find out what is wrong with your back. I hope you have taken time to speak with your parents. joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 OMG no Joe! Don't even consider that.....like said " her heart would be broken " and so would all the rest of us be heart broken!!! Re: Re: Kenny Kenny - Good to hear from you. It's been a while. I wish I had the courage to commit suicide, but knowing my luck, I'd screw it up, become a paraplegic and live for 150 years. I hope that you are getting the medical diagonistics you need. I understand the " hurry up and wait " mentality of doctors and clinics, but it's just something we have to live with. Please keep us informed, especially when they find out what is wrong with your back. I hope you have taken time to speak with your parents. joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 Has anyone ever told you that you are the biggest bullshit artest going? Quit pulling our puds and try your own again. You do have mental problems but it's not what you are telling people. A. You claim to have overdosed on flexurol which only made you sleep a very long time but the very next day under carbon monoxide you couldn't even pass out. What did you take two flexerol sport? B. The carbon monoxide timing was more like a cry for help if you did it when others would find you. If you really wanted to kill yourself after a lousy groggy hang over from flexerol wasn't it convienent that not one but both the mom and girlfriend found you? Do you know what stress you are putting them through? If I were them I'd ship your ass home in a box marked defective. C. What mental hospital would allow you out in 2 weeks? Talk about a rapid 12 steps program in 21 days. But you are now allowed in the kitchen with the knives too. D. Not to many ER's serve food but taken for granted if yours did why use a plastic fork when you can jab your IV in and out of your neck? Things that make you go hmmm... > > Havent heard from you, what's going on? Just wondered if you were > going to answer our questions or if you decided to leave the group > b/c of us asking them? > > > > -- > > __________________________________________________________ > > Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com > > http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup > > > > CareerBuilder.com has over 400,000 jobs. Be smarter about your job > search > > http://corp.mail.com/careers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 > The bottom line is I have been harder on myself than anyone else ever would be and that's something I'm trying to change. < I think that is something a lot of us are guilty of...at one time or another. Best wishes on your recovery and acceptance from all of this. Vivian H. Vivian H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 hmmmm....very excellent points Nick Re: Kenny Has anyone ever told you that you are the biggest bullshit artest going? Quit pulling our puds and try your own again. You do have mental problems but it's not what you are telling people. A. You claim to have overdosed on flexurol which only made you sleep a very long time but the very next day under carbon monoxide you couldn't even pass out. What did you take two flexerol sport? B. The carbon monoxide timing was more like a cry for help if you did it when others would find you. If you really wanted to kill yourself after a lousy groggy hang over from flexerol wasn't it convienent that not one but both the mom and girlfriend found you? Do you know what stress you are putting them through? If I were them I'd ship your ass home in a box marked defective. C. What mental hospital would allow you out in 2 weeks? Talk about a rapid 12 steps program in 21 days. But you are now allowed in the kitchen with the knives too. D. Not to many ER's serve food but taken for granted if yours did why use a plastic fork when you can jab your IV in and out of your neck? Things that make you go hmmm... > > Havent heard from you, what's going on? Just wondered if you were > going to answer our questions or if you decided to leave the group > b/c of us asking them? > > > > -- > > __________________________________________________________ > > Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com > > http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup > > > > CareerBuilder.com has over 400,000 jobs. Be smarter about your job > search > > http://corp.mail.com/careers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember word per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists doing that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves just because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself over that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something like suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, I don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to quit beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're in but we deal with it no matter how hard. Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if you were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't put yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids fighting to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine like you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to listen when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is true if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. Connie > > Havent heard from you, what's going on? Just wondered if you were > going to answer our questions or if you decided to leave the group > b/c of us asking them? > > > > -- > > __________________________________________________________ > > Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com > > http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup > > > > CareerBuilder.com has over 400,000 jobs. Be smarter about your job > search > > http://corp.mail.com/careers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2003 Report Share Posted July 13, 2003 Way to go Connie! -Nick > As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have > questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical > terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your > doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember word > per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know > before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in > there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for > trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists doing > that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. > I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves just > because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the > beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself over > that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something like > suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot > worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, I > don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to quit > beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're in > but we deal with it no matter how hard. > Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older > people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are > thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if you > were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't put > yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids fighting > to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine like > you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** > happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're > playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit > whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain > yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it > and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to listen > when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat > yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is true > if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. > Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2003 Report Share Posted July 13, 2003 Kuddos, Connie Re: Kenny Way to go Connie! -Nick > As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have > questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical > terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your > doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember word > per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know > before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in > there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for > trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists doing > that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. > I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves just > because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the > beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself over > that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something like > suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot > worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, I > don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to quit > beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're in > but we deal with it no matter how hard. > Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older > people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are > thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if you > were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't put > yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids fighting > to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine like > you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** > happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're > playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit > whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain > yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it > and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to listen > when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat > yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is true > if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. > Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2003 Report Share Posted July 13, 2003 Atta' girl, Connie! sonia > > As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have > > questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical > > terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your > > doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember > word > > per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know > > before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in > > there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for > > trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists > doing > > that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. > > I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves > just > > because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the > > beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself > over > > that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something > like > > suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot > > worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, > I > > don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to > quit > > beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're > in > > but we deal with it no matter how hard. > > Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older > > people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are > > thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if > you > > were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't > put > > yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids > fighting > > to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine > like > > you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** > > happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're > > playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit > > whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain > > yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it > > and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to > listen > > when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat > > yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is > true > > if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. > > Connie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2003 Report Share Posted July 14, 2003 hear hear Vivian sweetdreamsk9@... wrote: > The bottom line is I have been harder on myself than anyone else ever would be and that's something I'm trying to change. < I think that is something a lot of us are guilty of...at one time or another. Best wishes on your recovery and acceptance from all of this. Vivian H. Vivian H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2003 Report Share Posted July 15, 2003 yeah, some SUPPORT group. i've been treated like scum by a lot of the members and then suddenly kicked out of the group. a sincere " thank you " to those of you who have offered encouragement and support. shame on the rest of you for being so fucking cynical and so fucking judgemental. i am a human being, and i respect all living creatures. the reason i was able to " quote " my neuro was because he sent a letter to my home address while i was hospitalized. the letter was right in front of my face when i " quoted " from it. i wish my scanner worked so that i could upload the documents from my hospitalization and the letter from my neuro. should i forward some of the e-mails from my neuro to various members in this group? would that satisfy some of the non-believers? i'll do it . . . hell, i'll do anything to clear my name. i do not like being called a liar and a bullshit artist. i will admit i have been acting childish and cowardly, and i respect those of you who have called me on that. that is something i am working on. i still feel suicidal but i refuse to act on those feelings. i am taking meds and i have psychiatric appointments set up. no matter how you feel about me, i wish everyone in this group a happy and fulfilling life filled with as much joy and as little pain as possible. i will continue to pray for everyone in this group. this will be my last post (hallelujah), i'm sorry i've been such a pest. but i come to you with a real question and hopefully i can get some answers. my neuro is currently at a loss and he has suggested i try USC or UCLA. now if my memory serves me correctly someone once posted that UCLA is top notch and will accept you even if you have little or no insurance. is this true? does anyone know the steps or process i need to go through to be seen by UCLA? i would greatly appreciate any advice or suggestions. god bless. As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember word per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists doing that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves just because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself over that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something like suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, I don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to quit beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're in but we deal with it no matter how hard. Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if you were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't put yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids fighting to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine like you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to listen when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is true if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2003 Report Share Posted July 15, 2003 Hey, If you read, I said IF you were faking, I have not accused you like some in the group have so re-read... I asked questions and now you've answered them, thank you, sorry they were so harsh, but we all had questions that were never answered so I started to wonder but now you've answered some, thank you. I receive the posts so you didnt need to send it to me personally. I suggest you go thru the posts and read others that actually accused you, I supported you the other times and this last email was not accusing you, was saying IF and asking questions... read back to your originial posts when joining, again I was supportive, others were NOT. So think before you accuse only me and me alone. You never answered our questions before all of this so how were any of us to respond to you? Now you come back wiht info so it looked ify is all I said, and again, I asked. Enough with the private emails and fake email addresses to send me emails personally, either post it or don't say anything, quit with the childish games, you know who you are and so do I (Kenny, yes I know you posted the same thing to the group as the email to me, I'm just saying in general, not pointing to you). Thank you. Connie > yeah, some SUPPORT group. i've been treated like scum by a lot of > the members and then suddenly kicked out of the group. a > sincere " thank you " to those of you who have offered encouragement > and support. shame on the rest of you for being so fucking cynical > and so fucking judgemental. i am a human being, and i respect all > living creatures. the reason i was able to " quote " my neuro was > because he sent a letter to my home address while i was > hospitalized. the letter was right in front of my face when > i " quoted " from it. i wish my scanner worked so that i could upload > the documents from my hospitalization and the letter from my neuro. > should i forward some of the e-mails from my neuro to various members > in this group? would that satisfy some of the non-believers? i'll > do it . . . hell, i'll do anything to clear my name. i do not like > being called a liar and a bullshit artist. i will admit i have been > acting childish and cowardly, and i respect those of you who have > called me on that. that is something i am working on. i still feel > suicidal but i refuse to act on those feelings. i am taking meds and > i have psychiatric appointments set up. no matter how you feel about > me, i wish everyone in this group a happy and fulfilling life filled > with as much joy and as little pain as possible. i will continue to > pray for everyone in this group. this will be my last post > (hallelujah), i'm sorry i've been such a pest. but i come to you > with a real question and hopefully i can get some answers. my neuro > is currently at a loss and he has suggested i try USC or UCLA. now > if my memory serves me correctly someone once posted that UCLA is top > notch and will accept you even if you have little or no insurance. > is this true? does anyone know the steps or process i need to go > through to be seen by UCLA? i would greatly appreciate any advice or > suggestions. god bless. > > > > > As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have > questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical > terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your > doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember word > per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know > before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in > there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for > trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists doing > that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. > I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves just > because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the > beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself over > that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something like > suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot > worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, I > don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to quit > beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're in > but we deal with it no matter how hard. > Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older > people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are > thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if you > were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't put > yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids fighting > to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine like > you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** > happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're > playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit > whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain > yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it > and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to listen > when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat > yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is true > if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2003 Report Share Posted July 15, 2003 my apologies connie, it was not my intention to single you out, i meant for the original message to be posted on the board, instead it went to your e-mail address. again, my bad, it was a technical error, i thought i was posting on the board. > > yeah, some SUPPORT group. i've been treated like scum by a lot of > > the members and then suddenly kicked out of the group. a > > sincere " thank you " to those of you who have offered encouragement > > and support. shame on the rest of you for being so fucking cynical > > and so fucking judgemental. i am a human being, and i respect all > > living creatures. the reason i was able to " quote " my neuro was > > because he sent a letter to my home address while i was > > hospitalized. the letter was right in front of my face when > > i " quoted " from it. i wish my scanner worked so that i could > upload > > the documents from my hospitalization and the letter from my > neuro. > > should i forward some of the e-mails from my neuro to various > members > > in this group? would that satisfy some of the non-believers? i'll > > do it . . . hell, i'll do anything to clear my name. i do not like > > being called a liar and a bullshit artist. i will admit i have > been > > acting childish and cowardly, and i respect those of you who have > > called me on that. that is something i am working on. i still > feel > > suicidal but i refuse to act on those feelings. i am taking meds > and > > i have psychiatric appointments set up. no matter how you feel > about > > me, i wish everyone in this group a happy and fulfilling life > filled > > with as much joy and as little pain as possible. i will continue > to > > pray for everyone in this group. this will be my last post > > (hallelujah), i'm sorry i've been such a pest. but i come to you > > with a real question and hopefully i can get some answers. my > neuro > > is currently at a loss and he has suggested i try USC or UCLA. now > > if my memory serves me correctly someone once posted that UCLA is > top > > notch and will accept you even if you have little or no insurance. > > is this true? does anyone know the steps or process i need to go > > through to be seen by UCLA? i would greatly appreciate any advice > or > > suggestions. god bless. > > > > > > > > > > As much as I've wanted to believe you in the past, I too have > > questions.. like suddenly you come back knowing all these medical > > terms that you didn't know about before. Also you quote your > > doctor... after being in a mental hospital how can you remember > word > > per word what he's said and know all these terms you didnt know > > before? Maybe they give you medical books to read when you're in > > there, I don't know. A team of neurologists checked you out... for > > trying to kill yourself? Hmm I've never heard of neurologists doing > > that but I've never have been there myself so maybe they do. > > I don't know too many people that would want to kill themselves > just > > because they have blurry vision. You hurt yourself you said in the > > beginning b/c of doing stretches.... now trying to kill yourself > over > > that. You know, if you did, its your stupidity to try something > like > > suicide. Do you know how many here are suffering a hell of a lot > > worse than you are, have been for Years?? Maybe your pain is real, > I > > don't know.. if it is I'm sorry, but deal with it by starting to > quit > > beating yourself up over it. None of us like the situations we're > in > > but we deal with it no matter how hard. > > Do you know how many cancer patients, kids, teens, adults, older > > people that deal with chemo and everything else because they are > > thankful to be alive? OMG you just make me sick to be honest, if > you > > were a true fighter, if all this crap is even true, you wouldn't > put > > yourself thru this or your girlfriend or anyone else. Kids fighting > > to live are a lot more grown up than you are, they don't whine like > > you do, doesnt matter if they didn't cause it themselves, Sh** > > happens in life, we learn to deal with it. Now please, if you're > > playing us for attention, stop. If you're not, still please quit > > whining. Every time you post you complain about causing this pain > > yourself, etc etc. No matter how it happened, it did, deal with it > > and move on, dwelling on it isn't gonna help. We're here to listen > > when others need to vent but enough Kenny, all you do is beat > > yourself up about what you did to yourself, I don't know what is > true > > if anything in your stories. Move on or get help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2003 Report Share Posted July 15, 2003 > yeah, some SUPPORT group. i've been treated like scum by a lot of > the members and then suddenly kicked out of the group. a > sincere " thank you " to those of you who have offered encouragement > and support. shame on the rest of you for being so fucking cynical > and so fucking judgemental. i am a human being, and i respect all > living creatures. Kenny, I am sorry you had these problems. You know I think whether your problem originates from a spinal condition or a mental condition, the agony can be just as real. Certainly one can affect the other. From my limited exposure to this " life of pain " , I know it is something others cannot see. This is why proper pain management has lagged so far behind in the medical community. Certainly others can't see what is going on inside your head, either!!! I do know one thing... For the pain meds I have tried, NOTHING has worked as well as when I am distracted from the pain and and have busied my mind with other thoughts. However, when I lay there thinking about the pain, it is definately worse. I know that sounds hard to do, but I had to distract my thoughts in the last months leading up to my surgery. So, whatever you do for fun, or to " get away " , do it! Best wishes for an easing of your symptoms! Hank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2003 Report Share Posted July 15, 2003 > now > if my memory serves me correctly someone once posted that UCLA is top > notch and will accept you even if you have little or no insurance. > is this true? does anyone know the steps or process i need to go > through to be seen by UCLA? i would greatly appreciate any advice or > suggestions. god bless. Kenny, I know that UCLA Med Ctr takes indigents & gets Medicare or Medi-cal (California's form of medicare). Don't know much more than that. I recall you have COBRA med insurance, right? That may complicate things, as UCLA will want to bill insurance & bill you personally the balance. UCLA Med Ctr billing is a behemoth, quite onerous, & often incorrect. It would be better if you didn't have any med insurance & your assets amounted to <$2K. Your doctor could refer you (COBRA insurance), I suppose or you could try the ER route. Psychosomatic symptoms can seem very real, & are scary & overwhelming for the sufferer. How you deal with it bespeaks your character. Focus on the positive things in your life. Push beyond the pain & your symptoms. Since you were in AmeriCorps, you probably enjoy helping others. Go visit a soup kitchen & help out. Next time you see a homeless person digging through the trash, feed him/her. (I've even had some wait for me b/c I'm on my way to an appt.) Sign up as a tutor & help an adult learn how to read. Visit your local church or temple, lots of kind people there & plenty of volunteer opportunities. Do whatever good deeds it takes to take your mind off your troubles & yourself. Call me a doubting ina, as I had actually undergone some of the injuries you were purporting, & your posts seemed illogical. Though you were irritatingly wallowing in self-pity, you're not the first to do so here. Good luck, sonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2003 Report Share Posted July 19, 2003 Kenny, I'm glad you're being treated for anxiety & depression (Paxil). What antipsychotic med are you on, if you don't mind my asking? It normally takes the human body ~2 weeks for antidepressant type meds to start working. You're on the road to help. I'm glad you have your girlfriend & her mom at your side. The light at the end of the tunnel may seem unattainable, but with the right medication & therapy, you'll get there. Are therapy visits possible under COBRA? BTW, if you're still interested in UCLA Med Ctr, parking is $7, & it's good for all day & night. The surrounding neighborhood, Westwood has lots of good, moderately priced lunch places (Falafel King is my personal favorite) within walking distance, plus lots of great movie houses. One of the last big screen theatres is just a block from the UCLA campus. Westwood is a fun, safe place to visit up till 8 p.m. As for USC, I'd avoid it. Dangerous, scary neighborhood, drive-by shootings, muggings, car thefts, not a good place to be in broad daylight. Plus the road traffic is miserable any day of the week. No matter how bad you're feeling one day, wait a day or 4. Things do pick up. Give yourself time to enjoy little things in your life, like your girlfriend's smile, the bright California sunshine, the moistness of an ocean breeze. Things will get better. sonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2003 Report Share Posted July 19, 2003 Hey , The antipsychotic I'm on is Seroquil. I'm also on Lorezapam (spelling?) for anxiety. I tell you what, I take the Seroquil at night with the Lorezapam, and it knocks me right out. I think I'm on the road to recovery. Every physician I've seen has recommended physical therapy but my insurance will only cover it immediately following surgery or hospitalization. Since my hospitalization was a result of a suicide attempt, I don't think the insurance would cover it. I'm thinking about not continuing the coverage with COBRA. My insurance company has yet to mail me a COBRA form so I haven't started paying for the insurance out of pocket yet. My assets are less than 2,000 so I might try UCLA as an indigent as you suggested. UCLA is pretty much my last hope anyway since the neuro I've been seeing is one of the best in Southern California (at least that's the impression that I get) and he has recommended UCLA. I'm probably going to go to a chiropractor soon, although it's probably going to be difficult to find a good one. I'm trying to avoid surgery at all costs unless it's minimally invasive (like a microdisctemy). I mean, I don't know if there is a surgery that would restore complete sensation to my legs and my penis. I'm still relatively new to the realm of neurology and neurosurgery. What do you think ? I really appreciate and value your advice. Who knows, perhaps one day we will run into each other at UCLA. Oh, forgot to mention about mental therapy, I have a psychiatric appointment July 23. It's a sliding scale fee sort of thing (same with the meds). But yeah, even though I still think about suicide at times, I don't think I'm going to act on those impulses. I just have to accept that in some ways I will never be the same as I was before the injury, but in other ways I believe I can be better and stronger. I am no longer afraid of dying for one . . . this ordeal has helped me to loosen my grip on this life, in a good way. Also I believe this ordeal is helping me to rediscover my faith in God. Thanks for the encouragement and advice . -Kenny > Kenny, > I'm glad you're being treated for anxiety & depression (Paxil). What > antipsychotic med are you on, if you don't mind my asking? It > normally takes the human body ~2 weeks for antidepressant type meds > to start working. You're on the road to help. I'm glad you have > your girlfriend & her mom at your side. The light at the end of the > tunnel may seem unattainable, but with the right medication & > therapy, you'll get there. Are therapy visits possible under COBRA? > > BTW, if you're still interested in UCLA Med Ctr, parking is $7, & > it's good for all day & night. The surrounding neighborhood, > Westwood has lots of good, moderately priced lunch places (Falafel > King is my personal favorite) within walking distance, plus lots of > great movie houses. One of the last big screen theatres is just a > block from the UCLA campus. Westwood is a fun, safe place to visit > up till 8 p.m. As for USC, I'd avoid it. Dangerous, scary > neighborhood, drive-by shootings, muggings, car thefts, not a good > place to be in broad daylight. Plus the road traffic is miserable > any day of the week. > > No matter how bad you're feeling one day, wait a day or 4. Things do > pick up. Give yourself time to enjoy little things in your life, > like your girlfriend's smile, the bright California sunshine, the > moistness of an ocean breeze. Things will get better. > sonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2003 Report Share Posted July 20, 2003 Oh Kenny I'm so glad to hear your faith is being restored. It takes a lot of faith to keep yourself going sometimes when you have chronic pain and yes God is there always for you, I'm not no religious freek, please, I myself have just started to turn to my faith again, I lost because of what I have been going through, couldn't figure out why he would do this to me. We are given challenges in life and how we choose or deal with them is what life itself is all about. God Bless. Have a good night. Chris Re: Kenny Hey , The antipsychotic I'm on is Seroquil. I'm also on Lorezapam (spelling?) for anxiety. I tell you what, I take the Seroquil at night with the Lorezapam, and it knocks me right out. I think I'm on the road to recovery. Every physician I've seen has recommended physical therapy but my insurance will only cover it immediately following surgery or hospitalization. Since my hospitalization was a result of a suicide attempt, I don't think the insurance would cover it. I'm thinking about not continuing the coverage with COBRA. My insurance company has yet to mail me a COBRA form so I haven't started paying for the insurance out of pocket yet. My assets are less than 2,000 so I might try UCLA as an indigent as you suggested. UCLA is pretty much my last hope anyway since the neuro I've been seeing is one of the best in Southern California (at least that's the impression that I get) and he has recommended UCLA. I'm probably going to go to a chiropractor soon, although it's probably going to be difficult to find a good one. I'm trying to avoid surgery at all costs unless it's minimally invasive (like a microdisctemy). I mean, I don't know if there is a surgery that would restore complete sensation to my legs and my penis. I'm still relatively new to the realm of neurology and neurosurgery. What do you think ? I really appreciate and value your advice. Who knows, perhaps one day we will run into each other at UCLA. Oh, forgot to mention about mental therapy, I have a psychiatric appointment July 23. It's a sliding scale fee sort of thing (same with the meds). But yeah, even though I still think about suicide at times, I don't think I'm going to act on those impulses. I just have to accept that in some ways I will never be the same as I was before the injury, but in other ways I believe I can be better and stronger. I am no longer afraid of dying for one . . . this ordeal has helped me to loosen my grip on this life, in a good way. Also I believe this ordeal is helping me to rediscover my faith in God. Thanks for the encouragement and advice . -Kenny > Kenny, > I'm glad you're being treated for anxiety & depression (Paxil). What > antipsychotic med are you on, if you don't mind my asking? It > normally takes the human body ~2 weeks for antidepressant type meds > to start working. You're on the road to help. I'm glad you have > your girlfriend & her mom at your side. The light at the end of the > tunnel may seem unattainable, but with the right medication & > therapy, you'll get there. Are therapy visits possible under COBRA? > > BTW, if you're still interested in UCLA Med Ctr, parking is $7, & > it's good for all day & night. The surrounding neighborhood, > Westwood has lots of good, moderately priced lunch places (Falafel > King is my personal favorite) within walking distance, plus lots of > great movie houses. One of the last big screen theatres is just a > block from the UCLA campus. Westwood is a fun, safe place to visit > up till 8 p.m. As for USC, I'd avoid it. Dangerous, scary > neighborhood, drive-by shootings, muggings, car thefts, not a good > place to be in broad daylight. Plus the road traffic is miserable > any day of the week. > > No matter how bad you're feeling one day, wait a day or 4. Things do > pick up. Give yourself time to enjoy little things in your life, > like your girlfriend's smile, the bright California sunshine, the > moistness of an ocean breeze. Things will get better. > sonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 Kenny, Those are some potent anti-anxiety meds. BTW, it's spelled Seroquel. I pray that they help you, along with your loved ones, through your dilemma. Your former employer (AmeriCorps) is required by federal & California state law to issue a letter of information about COBRA coverage within a 60-day period from termination of employment. I'm not sure I would NOT get COBRA, until I've verified other means of medical insurance eligibility (e.g., Medicare, Medi-Cal). Does your family or girlfriend's mother have an attorney you can ask for advice? Unfortunately, I don't know much about how to obtain Medicare or Medi- Cal, except for retirees who are trying to safeguard their assets when a spouse is in need of long-term nursing care, & that knowledge won't help you. UCLA Med Ctr is a prestigious teaching medical university, world renowned, & it is highly recommended by many medical experts. Yet things still can go wrong there, as medicine is not an exact science & doctors still have so much to learn about the human body. My own son nearly died at birth, despite 22 specialists/experts in the room with us. The head of neonatology discounted my concerns over my son's wheezy breathing, & he went into Code Blue & had 2 seizures. We were just looking at his chest surgery scar last night. I have other horror stories of UCLA, as my history with them is long. This is not to scare you, but to let you know that UCLA is not a panacea for all your ills. You are blessed to have a girlfriend who loves you, & her mom who accepts you into their home. You're on medications that may make a world of difference in your outlook. I am glad you're renewing your faith. Finding the right church can be tricky for some. I just accept whoever is there as pastor, for my faith is more pithy to me than which pastor is sermonizing. BTW, when you start to feel better, please, please stay on your meds. It will make all the difference. sonia > > Kenny, > > I'm glad you're being treated for anxiety & depression (Paxil). > What > > antipsychotic med are you on, if you don't mind my asking? It > > normally takes the human body ~2 weeks for antidepressant type meds > > to start working. You're on the road to help. I'm glad you have > > your girlfriend & her mom at your side. The light at the end of > the > > tunnel may seem unattainable, but with the right medication & > > therapy, you'll get there. Are therapy visits possible under > COBRA? > > > > BTW, if you're still interested in UCLA Med Ctr, parking is $7, & > > it's good for all day & night. The surrounding neighborhood, > > Westwood has lots of good, moderately priced lunch places (Falafel > > King is my personal favorite) within walking distance, plus lots of > > great movie houses. One of the last big screen theatres is just a > > block from the UCLA campus. Westwood is a fun, safe place to visit > > up till 8 p.m. As for USC, I'd avoid it. Dangerous, scary > > neighborhood, drive-by shootings, muggings, car thefts, not a good > > place to be in broad daylight. Plus the road traffic is miserable > > any day of the week. > > > > No matter how bad you're feeling one day, wait a day or 4. Things > do > > pick up. Give yourself time to enjoy little things in your life, > > like your girlfriend's smile, the bright California sunshine, the > > moistness of an ocean breeze. Things will get better. > > sonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 , Regarding the indigent thing . . . you had mentioned that it may be better for me not to have health insurance and less than 2k in assets . . . I most certainly have less than $2k in assets, so that's why I was considering forfeiting my insurance under COBRA. Besides, I'm not so sure my insurance would cover the UCLA visit(s) since I've been found to be " neurologically sound " by the neurologist I've been seeing. I would certainly like another opinion though, since it's been 3 months since my injury and I'm still having burning pain in my neck and varying degrees of numbness and sensation loss. Anyway, I hope I can get these concerns of mine addressed in the coming weeks. -Kenny > > > Kenny, > > > I'm glad you're being treated for anxiety & depression (Paxil). > > What > > > antipsychotic med are you on, if you don't mind my asking? It > > > normally takes the human body ~2 weeks for antidepressant type > meds > > > to start working. You're on the road to help. I'm glad you have > > > your girlfriend & her mom at your side. The light at the end of > > the > > > tunnel may seem unattainable, but with the right medication & > > > therapy, you'll get there. Are therapy visits possible under > > COBRA? > > > > > > BTW, if you're still interested in UCLA Med Ctr, parking is $7, & > > > it's good for all day & night. The surrounding neighborhood, > > > Westwood has lots of good, moderately priced lunch places > (Falafel > > > King is my personal favorite) within walking distance, plus lots > of > > > great movie houses. One of the last big screen theatres is just > a > > > block from the UCLA campus. Westwood is a fun, safe place to > visit > > > up till 8 p.m. As for USC, I'd avoid it. Dangerous, scary > > > neighborhood, drive-by shootings, muggings, car thefts, not a > good > > > place to be in broad daylight. Plus the road traffic is > miserable > > > any day of the week. > > > > > > No matter how bad you're feeling one day, wait a day or 4. > Things > > do > > > pick up. Give yourself time to enjoy little things in your life, > > > like your girlfriend's smile, the bright California sunshine, the > > > moistness of an ocean breeze. Things will get better. > > > sonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 Kenny, I don’t know enough to tell you anything definitive about your health insurance. Perhaps someone else here can. What Connie wrote about eligibility requirements for Medicaid (Medi-Cal here in California) underscores the difficulty of obtaining “free health care.” Medicare is easier to obtain -- for life-threatening situations such as unexpected hospitalization or emergency surgery. I wouldn’t forego your COBRA insurance till you have some sound legal advice or know that you qualify for Medicare or Medi-Cal. Did you have a chance to check with an attorney? There are some offices in L.A. that dispense free legal advice, if you don’t know any lawyers. My lawyer friends don’t deal in medical insurance law & therefore have no expertise to offer. Did AmeriCorps offer any disability insurance? Could you have gone out on a disability? You can extend COBRA for 29 months, something to think about if you’re disabled. Here’s something that may help: http://www.heartbridge.org/takingchg.pdf & also http://www.dca.org/pubs/pdf/disability.pdf . sonia Re: Kenny , Regarding the indigent thing . . . you had mentioned that it may be better for me not to have health insurance and less than 2k in assets . . . I most certainly have less than $2k in assets, so that's why I was considering forfeiting my insurance under COBRA. Besides, I'm not so sure my insurance would cover the UCLA visit(s) since I've been found to be " neurologically sound " by the neurologist I've been seeing. I would certainly like another opinion though, since it's been 3 months since my injury and I'm still having burning pain in my neck and varying degrees of numbness and sensation loss. Anyway, I hope I can get these concerns of mine addressed in the coming weeks. -Kenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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