Re: Update from shoe

June 17, 2003

Kenny did you have a MRI?? You can not see if you have a dis pressing on the

nerver from a xray. And I actually think you can see a herniated disc from a

reg xray..So my thought would be to get the MRI done..Do you have an appt to

see the neuro??

Also listen I know that life can throw us some big boulders in our roads and

its up to us to either break those boulders down so we can walk around them or

stand there and hope the boulder breaks down by itslelf..But please please

please dont ever think that taking your life is the answer..ITS NOT!!!! You may

think that all your problems would be solved but you know what? they wouldnt

and it would only cause such sadness for your family and . I really

think you need some relaxation. Maybe a massage or a week in bed to just relax

everything. There is that chance that the ortho can be worng and missed

something

but I would follow the steps..If he says therapy then do therapy..if in a

couple of weeks you see inprovement then great if not you call him and tell

him..If hes a good ortho he will not blow you off...What meds aer you taking and

who gave them to you?

June 18, 2003

If your tests are coming back negative, xray and MRI, then my guess is you dont

have anything broken or disks out of wack. I have no idea why you'd still have

so much pain or numbness and tingling, esp in the arms and legs both. It doesn't

make sense. I'd take the advice of your doctor and do physical therapy, doesn't

hurt to see what they have to say. Did you ask your doctor for anything for

depression? Also be careful with pain meds, I don't know what you're on but it

can be very dangerous taking too much of a medication or too little also for

that matter, depending on the medicine. Write down all your symptoms and tell

your neuro tomorrow, I honestly think it would be pointless to go to the ER,

they never do anything, well for me at least, I'm on some pretty strong pain

meds so they wouldn't give me more so I just deal with it and call my doc in the

morning if I feel its warranted. If you went to the ER last night and saw a doc

today, I think it would be silly to go to the

ER again tonight, they will tell you the same thing they did last night for

one, second is its another bill to pay, and 3rd did you do something after your

doctors today that would change what he told you? I personally think it would be

a waste of your time and theirs. Don't guess of what it could be b/c it's only

going to stress you out and you obviously don't need that, take it easy, one day

at a time, if you havve a doc appt tomorrow make sure you tell that doc

everything. Odd you have leg numbness but no pain, if you have problems in your

neck I dont think you'd have leg numbness, but I don't know, I'm not a doc and

I'm a lower back problem person just recently having found out I have a buldging

disk in my neck. If you had that the MRI would have shown it, I think for the

other things also, as I said I'm not a doc, maybe Nick or Joe can tell you

if spinal cord compression or nerve root compression would show up on an MRI,

still doesn't explain your leg numbness th

o I dont think. Btw I also think it was probably a panic attack last night and

reaction to not taking your meds as prescribed, but again I'm no pro, I'd still

say ask your doc about the possibilty of depression and get meds for it IF he

thinks you are, maybe you just need someone to talk to that will understand

more.

As for your girlfriend, in my opinion if you have a spouce/partner/girlfriend

whatever that can sorta understand what we all are going thru and are there for

us, they are special people. My dad is very special, if he couldn't handle my

mom's MS I'm sure he would have left, but he's wiht her throught it all. Some

people just can't handle someone (like me)with a disability, I'm not in a

wheelchair but I mention back problems that are severe enough that I cant sit

for long and some just run. If you and your girlfriend can talk about this,

that's great... personally I'd quit beating myself up about it tho or she may

leave, you never know. If I kept beating myself up about my back problems my

family would tell me to shut the hell up, they know I have constant pain but I

also know they dont need to hear it all the time, hell I get sick of saying it

to people. But if I have a chance to date someone I'm up front with it b/c if

they can't deal with just dating someone with back proble

ms, they'd never become more than a date. Talk to your girlfriend about other

things, take more interest in her and what she's doing, she already knows your

in pain, scared of what the outcome will be, knows you have questions... but she

can't do anything but be there for you. But you also need to be there for her,

I'm sure she's standing by you but just realize she needs attention too and not

hear about the pain all the time, she knows it unfortunately for both of you.

I'd say just talk to your neuro tomorrow, see what he says, but make sure you

tell him ALL the places you hurt, ALL the places that are tingling, etc for

numbness and just go by what he says. Good luck and take meds only as directed

Connie

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June 18, 2003

Ken -

I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

learned that it would only go on one of their service

elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

on the floor one time.... automatically.

Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

Topomax before an MRI.

Joe

June 18, 2003

I e-mailed the doc I'm going to see with some questions and his reply

was " make sure you bring your MRI's for answers. " Well, I've only

had one done, and the preliminary finding was negative. So I'll have

to try to track it down somehow. I was so looking forward to this

visit, yet now I'm discouraged. What answers is he going to give me

from a negative MRI? I appreciate all the support, I really need it

right now. I'm so scared and I feel so overwhelmed. My girlfriend

is very supportive, but if I don't get my act together I'm going to

lose her. Money is tight, pain meds are almost gone, insurance only

reimburses for them (it takes forever) and I can't concentrate let

alone hold down a demanding full-time job. If I can't return to work

there will be a gap in the insurance coverage. And I've already been

to so many appointments in the last few weeks that the insurance

company might say " enough is enough. " Honestly, honestly, I don't

know if I can handle it all. I am so overwhelmed right now. I have

no choice but to try since suicide is not the answer, but this is so

hard. It's hard not to revert back to the " if only you would not

have messed up your back " and " I remember the good days. " I'm so

sorry for sounding like a broken record, I just was not prepared for

this financially, emotionally or physically. Any idea on what I

might have? Pinched nerve? I'm having symptoms in the arms and

legs. There is some weakness and some sensation loss. My lower neck

area feels like it's on fire. Anyway, I thank all of you so much for

your support. This is the biggest obstacle I've ever had to deal

with, and I'm really struggling. I will do my best, that's all I can

do.

-Kenny

> Ken -

>

> I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> learned that it would only go on one of their service

> elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> on the floor one time.... automatically.

>

> Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> Topomax before an MRI.

>

> Joe

June 18, 2003

Kenny,

What did your MRI report say? You can pick up the report from the hospital or

office you had it done at and as I said before, you can get copies of the films

themselves when you have the MRI done, you pay for them. I've never had a

problem getting copies of the films, I just ask them for copies made before they

do the MRI and I leave with the films and a day or two later I go back to the

hospital for the report from the radiologist. Why do you have to track down your

MRI anyhow? The doctor would have requested those before even seeing you as far

as I know, even so you know where you had the MRI done so why the need to track

it down?

What doctor gave you the script for your pain meds? And don't jump to

conclusions, one doctor may not see something that another doctor may pick up on

looking at the MRI films. I'm surprised you got an appt with a Neuro w/o him

seeing the films first, the Neuro's I've been to won't see me without seeing the

films first and wouldn't have seen me if they hadn't seen something on the films

they thought they could fix. You had an Ortho doc appt yesterday and already

have a Neuro doc appt today? That's fast.. and a bit odd. I've never heard of a

doc giving out their email address to patients, especially new patients they

haven't seen before, but all docs are different.

Sorry for all the questions it all just sounds a bit off to me so am trying to

make sense of it all. A few of us have asked questions also that you've never

answered so it's hard for us to answer your questions, like what meds you're on,

which doc prescribed them, etc. For us to help you with what our experiences

have been we need you to answer some of our questions, also which area was the

MRI on and what did the results say?

Hopefully one of us can help you better if you can give us a bit more detailed

info. Hope all goes well today at the neuro.

Connie

Re: Update from shoe

> I e-mailed the doc I'm going to see with some questions and his reply

> was " make sure you bring your MRI's for answers. " Well, I've only

> had one done, and the preliminary finding was negative. So I'll have

> to try to track it down somehow. I was so looking forward to this

> visit, yet now I'm discouraged. What answers is he going to give me

> from a negative MRI? I appreciate all the support, I really need it

> right now. I'm so scared and I feel so overwhelmed. My girlfriend

> is very supportive, but if I don't get my act together I'm going to

> lose her. Money is tight, pain meds are almost gone, insurance only

> reimburses for them (it takes forever) and I can't concentrate let

> alone hold down a demanding full-time job. If I can't return to work

> there will be a gap in the insurance coverage. And I've already been

> to so many appointments in the last few weeks that the insurance

> company might say " enough is enough. " Honestly, honestly, I don't

> know if I can handle it all. I am so overwhelmed right now. I have

> no choice but to try since suicide is not the answer, but this is so

> hard. It's hard not to revert back to the " if only you would not

> have messed up your back " and " I remember the good days. " I'm so

> sorry for sounding like a broken record, I just was not prepared for

> this financially, emotionally or physically. Any idea on what I

> might have? Pinched nerve? I'm having symptoms in the arms and

> legs. There is some weakness and some sensation loss. My lower neck

> area feels like it's on fire. Anyway, I thank all of you so much for

> your support. This is the biggest obstacle I've ever had to deal

> with, and I'm really struggling. I will do my best, that's all I can

> do.

>

> -Kenny

>

> > Ken -

> >

> > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> >

> > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > Topomax before an MRI.

> >

> > Joe

>

June 18, 2003

Ken -

Two doctors can read the same MRI differently. You may end up having to have a

myelogram or some other test. Remember what I said about writing down where

the pain is and if it's sharp or dull, etc.

The MRI's should be with the last doctor that told you they were negative. I

would also go to the MRI place and ask for the written copy of the MRI

radiology report.

joe

June 18, 2003

Ahh duh thanks Joe, forgot since he saw his Ortho yesterday that doc would have

the films, hopefully he can pick those up today before his Neuro appointment as

most Neuros want to see the films themselves, at least both mine did. I remember

when I gave the one Neuro that did my 2nd surgery the printed report, he said

nope I want pictures anyone can type up a report... I kinda shyed back but then

he looked at me, took the typed report and put an A+ on it just to be goofy, I

laughed and at first took it like he had an attitude problem but how he was

acting and talking he wasn't doing that, told me he had froot loops that morning

and was acting like it... was nice to laugh with a doctor esp as nervous as I

was since he had told me I had needed a 2nd surgery like I had just gone thru 7

mos earlier, he was just trying to relax me, and he did. All docs are different

tho so maybe he'll take just the written report, in my experience tho the doc

wanted the actual films in both my case

s before they would see me so just trying to let you know Shoe that you may

want to get the films, you've been Very lucky in getting and Ortho and Neuro to

see you so soon and within a day of each other, it may take a long time to get

back into the Neuro again so may want to take the films just in case

Connie

Re: Update from shoe

> Ken -

>

> Two doctors can read the same MRI differently. You may end up having to have

a

> myelogram or some other test. Remember what I said about writing down where

> the pain is and if it's sharp or dull, etc.

>

> The MRI's should be with the last doctor that told you they were negative. I

> would also go to the MRI place and ask for the written copy of the MRI

> radiology report.

>

> joe

>

June 18, 2003

Are there any other things going on in your life right now? I

remember you moved from Florida to California. Are you home sick?

How was your relationship with your girlfriend before this? How

about her parents or yours? Siblings? Friends? What about work? Do

you have a good support group at home? It's important to be close to

people now. What I don't understand is your pains sound cervical

rather then thoracic. Did you have the MRI on the cervical or

thoracic? The thoracic is extremely hard to cause injury

to especially from stretching the wrong way. I can see stretching

hurting the neck though. Sleeping wrong can effect the neck. Well

hang in there. You will certainly be an inspiration to the next

person who is suffering with your testimony.

-Nick

> > Ken -

> >

> > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> >

> > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > Topomax before an MRI.

> >

> > Joe

June 18, 2003

Kenny you want to get the MRI films not just the paper report..A ortho is

better at looking at the actually films then a tech is so go get those films so

he can see with his own eyes..

June 18, 2003

The physical pain and symptoms are too much too handle. I'm

overwhelmed. I'm not going to take my life but I simply cannot cope

with what is happening to my body. I will probably lose and

lose everything, all because of one stupid mistake that I can never

take back. Thank you everyone for your support, but I'm afraid I

have lost it.

> > > Ken -

> > >

> > > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> > > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> > > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> > > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> > >

> > > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > > Topomax before an MRI.

> > >

> > > Joe

June 18, 2003

You still never answered my questions and I posted them again and

again. I am beginning to think you are a troll playing with the rest

of us who really are in pain.

-Nick

> > > > Ken -

> > > >

> > > > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> > > > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > > > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > > > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > > > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > > > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > > > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > > > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> > > > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> > > > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> > > >

> > > > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > > > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > > > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > > > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > > > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > > > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > > > Topomax before an MRI.

> > > >

> > > > Joe

June 18, 2003

-- Thanks Nick!!!!!!!!!!!! This has been my thought for quite

sometime..

- In spinaldisorderssupport , tasmaniac1

<no_reply@y...> wrote:

> You still never answered my questions and I posted them again and

> again. I am beginning to think you are a troll playing with the

rest

> of us who really are in pain.

>

> -Nick

>

June 18, 2003

Nick was brave enough to confront Kenny.

Guess what? I looked back at Kenny's (shoegazer) posts. I'm putting off

doing my volunteer work though it's piling up on my desk. Oh, no, that

means I'm addicted to this sort of thing... Besides, my kids had half-day

school & are playing with friends, my husband isn't yet home, & I finished

cleaning up after lunch for the kids, since they did most of it. What the

heck. Here are the facts on Kenny:

1. His X-rays showed negative results.

2. He had a cervical MRI, which showed no problems. MRIs are targeted, so

we all know the doctor would have ordered the region of his spine to be

scanned. Later he mentioned several times about hyperflexing his thoracic

region. Nary a thing about his cervical vertebrae.

3. His " spinal curvature " of the upper thoracic doesn't seem to cause his

doctor or any of the ER doctors concern. His shirts " fit funny? "

4. His leg paresthesia - was that diagnosed by a doctor?

5. He mentions suicidal thoughts -- after I posted about clinical

depression.

6. He rushed to ER for his heart palpitations. No heart problems according

to his ER doctor.

ly, I thought Kenny was bogus. Just making things up. I couldn't

figure out why. None of Kenny's symptoms made any sense for back injury,

except after reading about his heart palpitations, it all came together.

They fit a possible paradigm of emotional stress. Have any of you heard of

Arrythmia, where the heart fibrillates wildly -- from stress? Major stress

can be very scary, yet easily treatable with medication & time off from

whatever is causing the stress. It can cause several, if not all of the

symptoms Kenny is experiencing.

If you're reading this at all, Kenny, remember you love a girl who is by

your side, her mother-in-law has accepted you. It's time to look at what

might be causing your possible stress. Do you think it might be time to ask

your GP what he/she thinks about your physical symptoms, maybe refer you to

a therapist? Sometimes doctors don't tell you the stress diagnosis till

you've experienced 6 months of emotional duress manifesting as physical

maladies.

sonia

June 18, 2003

Kenny..You can post!! We understand your in pain and we want to help you but

sometimes you upset us when you say things like taking your own life..nobody

wants to hear that..I never had anyone that i know do that but maybe someone on

this board did and I am sure they dont want to see someone go through that. I

think your going to be fine..I think that what ever happened is not a life

threathing thing and it will get better. You might have to do therapy or take

meds but it will get better..Sitting around thinking about killing yourself and

dwelling on the fact that your hurt isnt doing you any good it is only making

you feel worse..Just sit back and try to relax and wait and see what the doc

says when you see him on fri..We all experienced pain and had to wait to see

this doc or that..then its a waiting game for mri results then its waiting to

have surgery for some of us or doing therapy and waiting to feel some

releif....So please dont give up on life or this group..Just relax and see what

happens..we are here for you but we want you to be part of the group not just

someone

who wants to leave this life time..

June 19, 2003

DITTO NICK

Re: Update from shoe

You still never answered my questions and I posted them again and

again. I am beginning to think you are a troll playing with the rest

of us who really are in pain.

-Nick

> > > > Ken -

> > > >

> > > > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> > > > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > > > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > > > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > > > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > > > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > > > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > > > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> > > > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> > > > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> > > >

> > > > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > > > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > > > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > > > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > > > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > > > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > > > Topomax before an MRI.

> > > >

> > > > Joe

June 19, 2003

Nick I am believing that your thought of a troll playing with the rest of us who

really are in pain is true. I have no seen no postings since you chewed his

behind out told him to straighted up and fly right. I was proud you were able to

do that, I figured it would be better coming from a man to man than a women

telling him. I have offered and so on and don't hear from him either. Take Care

All Chris

Re: Update from shoe

You still never answered my questions and I posted them again and

again. I am beginning to think you are a troll playing with the rest

of us who really are in pain.

-Nick

> > > > Ken -

> > > >

> > > > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after my

> > > > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > > > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > > > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > > > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > > > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > > > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > > > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked shit,

> > > > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it dumped me

> > > > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> > > >

> > > > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > > > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > > > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > > > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > > > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > > > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > > > Topomax before an MRI.

> > > >

> > > > Joe

June 19, 2003

I really wish that were the case. Yes, I have had other stresses,

but my health is so important to me, I've always taken good care of

my body, and now my health is deteriorating before my eyes. I saw a

neurologist today and I had a brain MRI and a thoracic MRI performed

(they had to put some dye into my arm for part of it). Anyway, I am

still having the burning pain in my neck and loss of sensation over

my entire body. I have huge bruises on me that don't hurt and some

of which I can't remember how I got them. I guess maybe I'm just

giving up on life, which is sad I know but I feel so hopeless. Ask

my girlfriend, this is tearing her apart as well. Just 2 months ago

I was happy and healthy, and one stupid accident on my part ruined it

all. I'm sorry that I'm so negative, I guess I just felt like I

really needed to vent and needed some people to talk to, so I came on

this board. I see the neuro again Friday and he will have the MRIs

so hopefully we can figure out a plan of attack. I want to get

better but I know I'll never be what I once was and I fear that

things will only get worse (as if they could). This is the most

depressed I've ever been in my entire life. I've pretty much lost

the will to win, which might be part of the reason why my body is

breaking down (not eating doesn't help either). I wish everyone on

this board the best, and since I've upset so many people I won't post

anymore.

-Kenny

> > > > > Ken -

> > > > >

> > > > > I've got you beat. I had my panic attack 2 days after

my

> > > > > ACDF neck surgery. They thought I was having a heart

> > > > > attack. I thought that my chest weighed 5000 pounds.

> > > > > They put a special blood probe in my hand to measure

> > > > > blood gases and dropped me downstairs to get a CAT

> > > > > scan. I was in a new prototype hospital bed, and they

> > > > > learned that it would only go on one of their service

> > > > > elevators. I can write a thesis on why that bed sucked

shit,

> > > > > but I'll save it for later. Well, for a tidbit, it

dumped me

> > > > > on the floor one time.... automatically.

> > > > >

> > > > > Ken, I think you're still just highly agitated, and need

> > > > > to just sleep until your neuro appt. tomorrow. Then

> > > > > go. Make sure you WRITE DOWN every pain

> > > > > you feel and where it is. Is it sharp, dull, hot, cold,

> > > > > needles, pins, etc., so the doc can assess your

> > > > > situation. He might even start you on Neurontin or

> > > > > Topomax before an MRI.

> > > > >

> > > > > Joe

>

June 19, 2003

The x-rays showed a 10 degree right convex scoliosis. I had a

physical as recently as a year ago and that physician checked my back

and mentioned nothing about a spinal curvature. As for the cervical

MRI, it will be looked at in-depth by the neuro on Friday. And it

was ordered by my GP because I was complaining of body tingles. Yes,

I hyperflexed both the cervical and thoracic spine, but the thoracic

bore the most trauma. I've always been pretty self-conscious about

my appearance so I know what my back used to look like and how my

shirts used to fit, and I see an obvious change in my back. And I am

experiencing pain between my shoulder blades. The leg paraesthesia

was never diagnosed, but it's been replaced by a bigger problem, loss

of sensation (not complete numbness, but a significant loss).

According to the DSM IV I am a text book case of a major depressive

episode. And I requested to be rushed to the ER due to the feeling

of numbness that came on suddenly, without warning. I thought I was

either going to be paralyzed or else was having a heart attack.

Anyway, it kind of hurts to be pegged as a liar. Listen, I'm

obviously a coward, and I'm not very emotionally together, and I'm

consumed by self-destructive thoughts. And I'm not half as strong as

all of you. These things I will admit to. But I am not making up my

injury or the ramifications of it. Maybe I did more soft tissue

injury than anything else and that has caused my upper thoracic spine

to go further inward between my shoulder blades. When I get the MRI

results on Friday I will know for sure. , I found your post to

be kind of encouraging because I want to believe that all these

physical symptoms are from stress. Can stress cause loss of

sensation in your skin? God I hope so. My muscles feel like dead

weights. When I touch my skin it's like I'm touching someone else.

I really hope it's only stress, or else that it's something

surgically correctable. Again, I'm sorry that I've been such a

nuisance on this board.

> Nick was brave enough to confront Kenny.

>

> Guess what? I looked back at Kenny's (shoegazer) posts. I'm

putting off

> doing my volunteer work though it's piling up on my desk. Oh, no,

that

> means I'm addicted to this sort of thing... Besides, my kids had

half-day

> school & are playing with friends, my husband isn't yet home, & I

finished

> cleaning up after lunch for the kids, since they did most of it.

What the

> heck. Here are the facts on Kenny:

> 1. His X-rays showed negative results.

> 2. He had a cervical MRI, which showed no problems. MRIs are

targeted, so

> we all know the doctor would have ordered the region of his spine

to be

> scanned. Later he mentioned several times about hyperflexing his

thoracic

> region. Nary a thing about his cervical vertebrae.

> 3. His " spinal curvature " of the upper thoracic doesn't seem to

cause his

> doctor or any of the ER doctors concern. His shirts " fit funny? "

> 4. His leg paresthesia - was that diagnosed by a doctor?

> 5. He mentions suicidal thoughts -- after I posted about clinical

> depression.

> 6. He rushed to ER for his heart palpitations. No heart problems

according

> to his ER doctor.

> ly, I thought Kenny was bogus. Just making things up. I

couldn't

> figure out why. None of Kenny's symptoms made any sense for back

injury,

> except after reading about his heart palpitations, it all came

together.

> They fit a possible paradigm of emotional stress. Have any of you

heard of

> Arrythmia, where the heart fibrillates wildly -- from stress?

Major stress

> can be very scary, yet easily treatable with medication & time off

from

> whatever is causing the stress. It can cause several, if not all

of the

> symptoms Kenny is experiencing.

>

> If you're reading this at all, Kenny, remember you love a girl who

is by

> your side, her mother-in-law has accepted you. It's time to look

at what

> might be causing your possible stress. Do you think it might be

time to ask

> your GP what he/she thinks about your physical symptoms, maybe

refer you to

> a therapist? Sometimes doctors don't tell you the stress diagnosis

till

> you've experienced 6 months of emotional duress manifesting as

physical

> maladies.

> sonia

>

June 19, 2003

The neuro will get the films and report his findings to me Friday.

> Kenny you want to get the MRI films not just the paper report..A

ortho is

> better at looking at the actually films then a tech is so go get

those films so

> he can see with his own eyes..

>

June 19, 2003

Ken -

The hardest part is the waiting. I still think you need

to speak with your MD (GP) about something on a

temporary basis, such as a low dosage of Effexor, an

anti-depressant.

I'm hoping that perhaps all of your problems can be

solved soon.

joe

June 19, 2003

Hey Im on Effexor 75mg once daily and it is wonderful. It is also used for women

going through pre-menopausal....hmmm....wonder what it effect would have on a

man!

Re: Update from shoe

Ken -

The hardest part is the waiting. I still think you need

to speak with your MD (GP) about something on a

temporary basis, such as a low dosage of Effexor, an

anti-depressant.

I'm hoping that perhaps all of your problems can be

solved soon.

joe

June 19, 2003

Why did they put the dye in your arm, did you ask? Have you had previous

surgery? They usually do with and without contrast if you've had a previous

surgery.

I am surprised you posted, maybe if you could answer questions that many of us

have asked, the same questions, there wouldnt be so much doubt, but you've never

answered any. I am very surprised you just started on here a couple weeks ago,

had your GP appt already and had an Ortho appt yesterday then a neuro appt

today... other questions we have that you've never answered, like why cervical

MRI if the problem is thoraic (sorry not my area so forgive my spelling if it is

wrong).

Our group is the best bunch of people you could ask for, not just for info, but

support... we all bounce our experiences off each other for knowledge and help.

So, a lot of the group questions you b/c of the timeline of what you say and the

unanswered questions. We never said leave the board (I dont think), just answer

the questions we ask... we only ask to help you out with what we know. You said

you came here for support and help, well, we can't help if you can't give us a

bit more info.

My last post to you asked specific questions, a lot of them the same I've asked

before and others have asked. Take the time, read the posts again, and answer

them. If you don't want to, thats fine, but we cant help you.

We've tried to support you but you really have to quit the self pity. I'm not

saying I don't post a bad day on here and pity myself once in a while on here,

we all have bad days and post what we are feeling, it's like a therapy that we

all do on here b/c we know the other really knows our pain, really feels it. But

every post you've sent is beating yourself up and I'm sorry but we are all tired

of it, if you can't pick yourself up, dust yourself off and say ok, now how do I

get better, then you're just gonna be alone. We have wanted to help you since

the start, supported you, all of us lent you our shoulders.. I can't do it

anymore, I've tried as many others here have, and I have enough on my plate

being a single mom, being supportive of , Nick, Joe, , ,

Vivian... we all need that shoulder but we don't lean on it so much we knock the

other down with " I may end my life, I wont end my life but I can't take this

anymore " ... Please Think about it, what the hell do

you think we're doing, sitting here in pain saying that crap? NO, we're not.

We're doing what we can to get through it.

I'll tell ya what... I am PERMANENTLY DISABLED, so is (sorry if I've left

others out I can't remember).. Nick can't work... you have hope of getting

better, maybe/hopefully back to the way you were, maybe close enough to work

and do most of what you could before. I still bust my ass in pt hoping something

will change, that they are wrong and I'll be able to get back to work, as I'm

sure hopes that also. It's not wishful thinking, I can't speak for anyone

else but in my case, I'll do all I can to get better. You may not have children

now (well you haven't mentioned any) but I do, I have a daughter that depends on

me 100% and it kills me I can't practice soccer or softball with her... Thank

GOD I have a daughter that is so understanding but she's a kid, she has missed

all that we used to do, but I'm not going to end my life over it or sit here and

whine about it, instead I do what I can with her and focus on getting stronger

at least. SO please, no more self pity p

osts, if you want help, frickin answer our questions so we Are able to help.

Connie

PS SO sorry everyone for a very long post, again, trying to be understanding to

him but am a bit fed up with this crap as I am, reading posts a lot of you are

also, understandibly. If he doesn't answer questions I'm not bothering to read

his posts anymore, someone who can't/won't stop with the self pity will never

have the strength physically or emotionally to get better in my opinion and I

need to focus on you all who want help and helping myself also.

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June 19, 2003

Hi

There are to many deserving people that are really suffering in here

to play mommy or daddy for him. He has issues and it's not his back.

Hope all is well with you.

-Nick

> Nick I am believing that your thought of a troll playing with the

rest of us who really are in pain is true. I have no seen no

postings since you chewed his behind out told him to straighted up

and fly right. I was proud you were able to do that, I figured it

would be better coming from a man to man than a women telling him. I

have offered and so on and don't hear from him either. Take Care All

Chris

June 19, 2003

>>>The physical pain and symptoms are too much too handle. I'm overwhelmed.

I'm not going to take my life but I simply cannot cope with what is happening to

my body. I will probably lose and lose everything, all because of one

stupid mistake that I can never take back. Thank you everyone for your support,

but I'm afraid I have lost it.

Kenny,

I forget when your pain started, but my pain has been non-stop for 3 years.

's has been ongoing chronic pain for quite a while, Nick and Joe also... My

pain may never get better tho I hope it does. 's may never get better, but

she is full of life and loving it. 's is more recent, I pray after all

these hoops she's jumped through that she will come out better after all is said

and done. Some, like Sue have been through the ringer and come out of it

wonderfully and are almost back to normal again(I'm sorry ya'll, I can't think

of more names, forgive me and please post). Someone could have the Exact disk

problem as me and do all I've done and live life exactly like me, like a

shadow.. and they could come out of it back to 100% better, yet I didn't.

Everyone is different in all of this, you just don't know and have to take it

one day at a time. I have a very good friend of the family who was diagnosed at

21 - while attending the University of Michigan to become a n

urse - with brain cancer. She is 38 now and thanks God everyday that she is

alive. In this past month she's had 2 strokes within a week of each other. I

can't imagine her pain or what she has gone through for 17 YEARS but she's so

thankful to be alive, she's Alive.. chemo destroyed her body, she has no uterus,

she loves children and it hurt so much when she learned she'd never be able to

have a child of her own, never live alone, never drive again. She is an

inspiration to anyone who knows her. She found the love of her life at the

hospital where she was having her chemo treatment; he also has brain cancer and

they love life and each other. She is a miracle. My mom has MS, was diagnosed in

1986 with it (the year I graduated high school). She did not tell anyone but my

dad about it until my daugher was a year old, in 1994. She and my loving,

supportive, caring, Wonderful dad kept this horrible secret for 6 Years because

they did not want to burden anyone with her pain nor did

they want pity. She's getting worse but loves life, her family, and does not

burden anyone with her pain. Bad side-effects from a nurse coming in twice a

week to their home to give her IV's... when anyone calls, including me, she's

maybe coming down with the flu she says.. tho we know it's her being sick as

hell from the IV, 3 weeks ago was so bad she told everyone she had the flu and

just couldnt shake it, tho it lasted 2 weeks.

I'm not saying your pain is any less mine, nobody makes comparisons in this

group of who's worse off than the other, we are ALL suffering with some spinal

problem. Think about those that suffer so much worse than us, have lost a LOT

more than us. The women who have never smoked, take great care of their bodies,

and suddenly they have breast cancer. I could go on for hours but hopefully

you've gotten the point.

Get some rest, do some thinking, and thank God you're alive and focus on doing

all you can to get better.

Again I ask you, how long have you had your pain now?

(hopefully you get what I'm trying to say and know it's not a question for you

to answer, it's a question that should lead you to thinking about this email and

others that suffer worse than us or have to live with the pain for life no

matter how it happened to them. You're not dying but self pity surely won't keep

you happy or in a fighting to get better mood.)

I hope I make sense, sometimes it's hard to understand things in an email...

sometimes it's hard for ME to understand what the heck I'm talking about LOL

Connie

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June 19, 2003

Connie,NicK, and anyone else who has spoken up.....i applaud you! All of us

here could do the same and whine,complain and have our own little pity

party.Some of us are where we are today because of an unfortunate uncontrolable

accident or from some stupid thing we did(like myself...doing something I use to

love to do by going boating and wave jumping) But none of us can take back what

has happened. All we can do is learn to live with the way life has been dealt to

us and go forth. And we should all be thankful that we are alive,have

family,friends and this wonderful support group.

Re: Update from shoe

Why did they put the dye in your arm, did you ask? Have you had previous

surgery? They usually do with and without contrast if you've had a previous

surgery.

I am surprised you posted, maybe if you could answer questions that many of us

have asked, the same questions, there wouldnt be so much doubt, but you've never

answered any. I am very surprised you just started on here a couple weeks ago,

had your GP appt already and had an Ortho appt yesterday then a neuro appt

today... other questions we have that you've never answered, like why cervical

MRI if the problem is thoraic (sorry not my area so forgive my spelling if it is

wrong).

Our group is the best bunch of people you could ask for, not just for info,

but support... we all bounce our experiences off each other for knowledge and

help. So, a lot of the group questions you b/c of the timeline of what you say

and the unanswered questions. We never said leave the board (I dont think), just

answer the questions we ask... we only ask to help you out with what we know.

You said you came here for support and help, well, we can't help if you can't

give us a bit more info.

My last post to you asked specific questions, a lot of them the same I've

asked before and others have asked. Take the time, read the posts again, and

answer them. If you don't want to, thats fine, but we cant help you.