Emotional roller coaster

[Guest guest]

>>, I hope you will pursue the answer to these problems.

Do you have anyone who can help you, go with you to

appointments, brainstorm ideas, etc.? Taking care of these

difficulties is hard enough when you feel great, much harder

when you feel lousy. Harper

Harper,

Thank you for your concern. Yes, I will be persistent in finding the

answers to my questions. Your concern brought some of my

other struggles to the surface, so I will explain them to the group.

I am having more difficulty accepting my " new " life than what I

thought I would. Whenever I think that I have finally accepted the

fact that I have a chronic illness and can deal with it, then

something else comes along and throws me back into an

emotional state. My PCP is getting to know me better (of course,

that is because I see him more frequently,) and he can " read "

my emotional state better as well. Yesterday, he asked me if I

was depressed. I will discuss this more with him next week

when I go back because I know deep within myself that I am. I

just don't want to say the words out loud. I have been taught all of

my life that showing such emotion or thoughts to others is just

not done because it is a sign of weakness.

Sometimes, I feel like I am invisible to others. (Hard to imagine a

person my size feeling invisible, but it is true.) Yesterday,

Charlotte posted how important it is to find a confidant to share

the frustrations of AIH and other illnesses. She stated that her

husband was a major support to her. I am so envious of her.

Today you asked if I had anyone to help me. It hurts to say, " No, I

don't. " I have worked so hard all of my life to be independent, and

now I find that no one around really " sees " me.

Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but sometimes I feel like they

are more acquaintances than friends. I feel like I have developed

closer relationships with some of you in this support group than I

have with people I have known for years. It is ironic, that many of

you have recently made the comment that the internet is

impersonal and reflects our feelings badly, but I have received

more love and support from this group than those who are

physically in my life.

This group has opened my eyes to the world of chronic illness. I

marvel every day at how strong all of you are after going through

all your struggles and pain. I feel so weak in your presence. I feel

like my emotional state is miniscule compared to all of your

struggles.

I believe it was Joanne or Bonnie that mentioned three or four

weeks ago the Rest Ministries website. I found two Bible studies

there on coping with chronic illness. I received them in the mail

yesterday (the Lord knew when I needed them the most,) and I

am so looking forward to starting them. My faith and this group

are the two things that help me make it through each day. I can

always count on the Lord to be with me through life's struggles,

and He has also lead me to a large, loving group of cyber

friends. I am so thankful for all of you. You help find comfort,

support, and sanity while dealing with my health.

Harper sorry I wrote such a lengthy response. Thanks again for

your concern.

(in WY)

[Guest guest]

Emotional Roller Coaster

June 15, 2010Ahhhhh! The beauty of mood swings!! Love the ‘highs’! Personally though, I prefer the sweet feel of few mood swings, or one’s that convert rapidly to a consistent blissful state. It’s always a choice! Falling in love with an ‘emotional roller coaster (ERC) type’ is bound to fall off the track up the mountain of love (hence, ‘falling in love’). However, it’s more frequent that ‘ERC’ types bond with others of the same type to do their journey into living chaos with the only light at the end of the tunnel being the experience of endless ‘train wrecks’.‘Train wrecks’ happen when there’s a combination of a tough start on ‘laying the foundational tracks’ as a child for a smooth, evolving life/love ride through life, and a penchant for going up a path relentlessly that is bound for endless repetition of the ‘same ole, same ole’, different day, different circumstances, but same ‘roller coaster rut’. History tends to repeat itself not only on a world level, but on a very personal level! Sadly once alone, for whatever time, this type is likely to delude themselves into thinking that they have evolved above the past ‘frays’ of emotional traumas. It’s like the spiritual seeker who leaves his Master after being put through the ‘awareness wringer’ to dry out their illusions. Seeker goes away, thinks they’re enlightened

when not involved with the Master, and out in the ‘market place’. Later, they return thinking the Master will be impressed that they have found some ‘nirvana’ within, only to find the Master mirror to be more clear and reflective of ones same old illusions!As long as one is drugged on the ego, not to mention the drugs that are crutches to avoid looking into the clear mirror of the inner, the illusions of inner grandeur will continue to be ‘enabled’. There is no end to the masquerade and the beginning of it matters not when the choice is ‘now’ to stop, get on track, and begin moving with the heart. The mind, on overload with illusions, is a cancer to the heart. See, feel, and be sensitive to the voice of the heart! Alway acknowledge to another when you are at fault for ‘riding the roller coaster of emotional dissonance’! An

‘emotional roller coaster’ that verbalizes responsibility for their negative moods, is a blessing!ArhataJune 15, 2010Ahhhhh! The beauty of mood swings!! Love the ‘highs’! Personally though, I prefer the sweet feel of few mood swings, or one’s that convert rapidly to a consistent blissful state. It’s always a choice! Falling in love with an ‘emotional roller coaster (ERC) type’ is bound to fall off the track up the mountain of love (hence, ‘falling in love’). However, it’s more frequent that ‘ERC’ types bond with others of the same type to do their

journey into living chaos with the only light at the end of the tunnel being the experience of endless ‘train wrecks’.‘Train wrecks’ happen when there’s a combination of a tough start on ‘laying the foundational tracks’ as a child for a smooth, evolving life/love ride through life, and a penchant for going up a path relentlessly that is bound for endless repetition of the ‘same ole, same ole’, different day, different circumstances, but same ‘roller coaster rut’. History tends to repeat itself not only on a world level, but on a very personal level! Sadly once alone, for whatever time, this type is likely to delude themselves into thinking that they have evolved above the past ‘frays’ of emotional traumas. It’s like the spiritual seeker who leaves his Master after being put through the ‘awareness wringer’ to dry out their illusions. Seeker goes away, thinks they’re enlightened when not involved with the

Master, and out in the ‘market place’. Later, they return thinking the Master will be impressed that they have found some ‘nirvana’ within, only to find the Master mirror to be more clear and reflective of ones same old illusions!As long as one is drugged on the ego, not to mention the drugs that are crutches to avoid looking into the clear mirror of the inner, the illusions of inner grandeur will continue to be ‘enabled’. There is no end to the masquerade and the beginning of it matters not when the choice is ‘now’ to stop, get on track, and begin moving with the heart. The mind, on overload with illusions, is a cancer to the heart. See, feel, and be sensitive to the voice of the heart! Alway acknowledge to another when you are at fault for ‘riding the roller coaster of emotional dissonance’! An ‘emotional roller coaster’ that verbalizes responsibility for their negative moods, is a

blessing!ArhataOsho.com

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