jokes from bert.

[Guest guest]

here is the jokes for the day...

enjoy...

One Liner! If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

The Power of Prayer

A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town (probably Buffalo

NY). When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade

school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away

from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for

more snow."

Ponderables

1) Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those

little bottles of Evian water?? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2) Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a

peeing section in a swimming pool??

3) If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea....does that mean

that one actually enjoys it??

4) There are 3 religious truths: 1-Jews do not recognize Jesus as

the Messiah, 2-Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of

the Christian faith, 3-Baptists do not recognize each other in the

liquor store.

5) Why do we say something is out of whack?? What's a whack??

6) If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular??

7) Why is the man who invests your money called a broker??

8) Why do croutons come in airtight packages?? Aren't they just

stale bread to begin with??

9) If lawyers are disbarred & clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it

follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys

deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked & dry cleaners

depressed??

10) Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

11) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald

men??

12) If American mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons

& forks, ever wonder what Chinese mothers use?? Toothpicks??

13) Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office??

What are we supposed to do, write to them?? Why don't they just put

their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them

while they deliver the mail??

14) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what

exactly are the others here for??

15) You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive!!