Zac's surgery, help...

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone, I hope you are having a nice weekend. I don't usually ask for much from my family here, but I need to today, please. Zachary, for the last 2 weeks started a count down until his surgery date; every morning I say good morning to all my kids, but Zac says, very quietly, "mom I got these many days" until surgery. He is very stressed and frightened I know; but he told my oldest, , to please help him get things in order in case he died on Monday from surgery. I was beside myself when told me and I just want to cry; this happened a few days ago.

He isn't talking much and I try to just hold him as much as I can, but he is really just extremely terrified. He is really beginning to scare me with the way he talking, as if he knows something I don't. They said the procedure is only supposed to be about an hour; nevertheless it will be the longest hour in the world for me tomorrow morning. His surgery time is at 7:30am., but we have to be there by 6am. I am really nervous, but I am lucky enough to know how to hide it. I am constantly changing the subject or just keeping him as busy as I can, but not ignoring him when he wants to talk about it. The crazy part is that he really don't want to talk about it, he just says, like this morning, as soon as he seen me,

"mom I got 1 day" I said yes honey I know, it will be all right and gave him a big hug. Then I walked away because I almost started to cry.

I really could use some moral support with this. I am asking for many, many prayers please, as I am very scared for him. I don't know this Dr. and I am intrusting him with my baby; he's only 8 years old. I only met this Dr. 1 time for a consult, then the surgery date was scheduled. Many of you know about the many awful Dr.'s I've had in the past, and some recent for my health, so you can understand why I am so frightened for Zac. This Dr. too, came a crossed arrogant and said right of the bat, it's NOT a tumor that will be malignant. Hey I didn't know he was God and could predict that!!! Every case is different, this I know for FACT! It took 3 or more years before Dr.'s believed me that there was many things wrong with me. So I am skittish when Dr.'s are so SURE of themselves from just looking at something for 5 seconds!! I don't care how many surgeries he's done like this one, everyone is different!

*another issue*

My other oldest step-son that came to live with us recently was told of the permanent change last night, and then he tried to run away again. He wants to be here, but then he don't want the change. We understand this and are trying to make this transition as easy as we can for him, but he's still talking about running away, so we're on 24 hour police patrol if you know what I mean. In the middle of all this last night, is when Zac says something about the 2 days; I could have just fell over with grief!! I guess I am really DESPERATE and reaching here, I need support in every way I can get it from any of you, please?

I never complain about things being "off-topic" myself, but I am going to say this anyway in case it bothers some; I am sorry this wasn't liver related, but I need all my friends, and that's you. As sad as it is, I do not have any friends here in Bay City, "still" and only have a couple in real life. Funny how people grow up and go their separate ways and loose contact; but I have many here with you, and I am DESPERATE FOR HELP!! Thanks for listening..........

I am so sorry that I just rambled on here as much as I did, but I am just having one of those days, weeks, months and then some. I hope everyone is doing all right, please take care......

Love always with tons of HUGS....

Bert.

p.s. I don't think it helped much that the surgeon told me, in front of Zac, that there aren't ever any guarantee's with how a surgery will go. Maybe that's why Zac is more terrified????????