Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Allida...I think sometimes husbands just hope things will get back to normal by carrying on with the same old routine.Ive been married to Ian for crikey! 37 years (I was a childbride almost). Anyway...I cant have more of a nice guy even after all these years, hes always been there to help except before and after dx..for some reason he expected things to be the same, you know, socks washed, dinner on table etc etc . Ive already told the tale about me going to the garden shed, grabbing a rake and raking up everything on the floor, where family used to drop things & for years I dutifully picked everything up....I raked shoes, newspapers, a couple of pot plants even, clothes from the bathroom you name it I raked it all over the cliff which fronts on our garden. And I got more & more fatigued & finally at the end of a day cooking for everyone and being too tired and nauseas to eat it myself... my Prednisone kicked in (thats my excuse and Im keeping to it)..and I stopped doing absolutely anything. I switched myself off for the first few days by sticking earplugs in my ears so I couldnt hear the outcry....'where's my dinner'....have you washed my clothes yet' etc. I laugh my head off now at my audacity..BUT enough was enough. Also I plonked written articles on AIH and liver disease under their noses and told them to read. I think I lived off tins of baked beans myself for a week, I thought I would starve as no-one would think of preparing me a meal. I just didnt care at time. My advice to you is I dont really have any...but Im sure its a unconscious control thing...also perhaps they ignore the obvious fact their wife is unwell...and just hope it all goes away and things get back to normal. Sorry this isnt more constructive but it certainly got me beat in the beginning! But I won in the end! Love Jan PS Jerry you can close your ears on this message and any other yangs ----- Original Message ----- From: Allida Lane Sent: Wednesday, February 12, 2003 1:10 PM Subject: [ ] Amy, I wish I had an answer for you! Hey, Allida here, I sure hope someone has an answer for Amy, as there are others of us out here with somewhat the same problem. I am so tired of telling my husband that I am tired, and reminding him I really do have a disease, it's not just my being lazy!!!!! He is a wonderful man, but is so used to my taking care of everything here at home and in the yard. He just hasn't come to grips with that fact that the "go-getter" is "gone" for the time being. the really bad thing is we have only been married for 3 years, and I feel so guilty about the physical state I am in. I just think he didn't sign on for "this"! Any suggestions for me and Amy would be greatly appreciated. Allida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Jan....let me offer this....when my wife was dying...I I wouldn't accept it and even though she was in the hospital for 44 days before she passed I didn't want to believe it until I sat by her bedside as she expired. Even then I wouldn't except the reality. Maybe this is how your family feels and they think that by trying to go about things as normal.the disease will turn out to be a dream and disappear...they want desparately to have things as they always were and refuse to let it be real... I could be wrong, just a thought... but denial is a powerful thing...our brains try to shut out those things we can't accept. The seriouness and the fact they may be facing your mortality is unacceptable....so they hide their heads in the sand like a 'roo... (or is it an ostrich) and hope it will go away. Don't be angry you are just too important to them and losing you wuld be just too devastating. I'm sorry I didn't shut my ears to your post... is this possible? love jerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Hi all, Not just husbands with difficulty understanding. People used to talk among themselves about how lazy I was. When I dropped to 60 kg (from 85) with Graves Disease people could see something was wrong but thought it was cancer or something contagious. Wife expected me to help with kids or talk about her day when I got home from work but I just needed a couple of hours sleep. She once told me, in the early days, to just snap out of it. This time (AIH maybe) people have seen my struggles over the past 5 years & are a bit more sympathetic. And Ian & Janet, Got the referral to Hospital Outpatients, appointment for an ultrasound & blood test form for almost everything. Feel happier now. Lets hope the doctor knows more than me this time. > Allida...I think sometimes husbands just hope things will get back to normal by carrying on with the same old routine.<snip> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 Some warm ((((((((HUGS)))))))) for you Jerry..... Love Always,Bert. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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