Insomnia is never ending here!

[Guest guest]

Hi All!

Was just catching up on all the posts since 12/18 - no small feat let

me tell you! I noticed the mention of insomnia problems. Well,

insomnia is driving me crazy here, and I am not even on steroids! I

have tried it all to try to sleep well. Meditaion, making my

surroundings conducive to sleep, sleeping aids, you name it. I just

can't get decent sleep any more. And I know why, I am so stressed

out, stressed out more than I have ever been in my life. I just don't

know how to turn my mind off any more. Worries are so high, and out

of control, I don't know what to do. I have yet to become depressed

per say, but am becoming quite irratable. Irratible is not usually

my forte, and I don't like it much. It takes a lot of hard work to

not run around snapping every ones heads off.

Part of my irritation is I have now been on the increased dose of

immuran (which doc had hoped was what was needed to quell my

increased discomfort and pain) has not made a change. That is so

disappointing, I really don't want to have to increase it more. The

not knowing my livers condition is starting to really drive me

crazy. I will be seeing my doc on the 8th, and we are scheduling my

biopsy then. I will be insistant on it being very very soon. I

can't take waiting any longer. I am just so tired of not having any

answers to what is going on. Symptoms coninue - the itching, the

right side pains, constantly having aching in the liver region, and

these stupid little red spots keep coming up all over my body.

Jerry - do you have any idea what these little red spots I am getting

are? And why do I keep getting more and more spider veins on my

face? I have another question of some thing new too. I have this

lump on the radius bone that started out feeling like nothing more

than than just a tiny 'pimple' on the bone. In the last month and a

half it has grown to the size of a large pea, and now 'wraps' around

the bone, probably about a good half inch. Has this ever happened to

any one? Is it something to be concerned about? I never hurt the

arm, or hit it on anything. I have osteoperossis, and if I had hurt

the arm, I would be concerned about it maybe being a fracture. But

it is not sore to the touch. It just hurts when I try to lean on or

lay the arm on a surface - in the skin. And I hate to complain about

this, but I keep losing weight. A good two or three pounds a month.

I am not dieting any more. Haven't really since June. Yet have

dropped over twenty pounds since. Not that I don't enjoy losing the

weight, but with this swollen belly, I look like a bowling ball with

two twigs stuck in it for legs! I don't know, maybe this is more of

that 'to be expected stuff'. But heck, who knows whats to be

expected any more, and what isn't? It just drives me crazy that it

seems we have something new to worry about or deal with on a monthly

basis.

And I am really worried about the biopsy. Not just about what it may

turn up, but the procedure itself. I have only had one, but remember

it well. It didn't hurt right at the moment they took it, but 15

minutes later, I thought I was going to die from the pain. It was

worse than any child labor I went through. I am hoping the reason it

was so painfull then was because it was so seriously inflamed at the

time. The results said inflammation was a 4, and my ALT/AST were

still in the thousands at the time. The doc said my bilirubin was

over 20. So I can only figure it was that that caused it to be so

painfull. (One can only hope!)

What makes it all really hard to deal with is I, like many of us

here, try to not bother my family with these worries. They worry

enough as it is when I have my bad days, I don't want to add more to

there load. I thank God I have found this group, and am able to

bounce things off of you all instead. Not that you all need more

worries, but I can almost guarentte if I am going through something,

someone here knows all too well how I am feeling. Thank you all

again for listening - as I did get wordy again!

Love and A Happy New Year to all!

Carole K

P.S. Jerry I am so glad to see you back as your old self again, I

take it this means you can sit comfortably on you tushy again after

your little time in the bathroom?!