Dump day

[Guest guest]

No not hump day, I said dump day. hehe I just had to write and tell you how I've been feeling. The muscle weakness is getting worse and I'm still usually asleep around 8pm and still feel worn out when I get up. I cry very easily but surprisingly my spirits are pretty good. I guess a reason for the teariness is that I really felt that my husband did not believe me when I told him how awful I felt. His reply would always be...get some fresh air and you'll feel better. Well, thanks chump, I already know that but give me some energy to go and get some fresh air and I will.

Yesterday I couldn't get out of bed so I was 40 mins late for work. When he called me to say hello he became impatient and starting snapping at me when I told him I needed to return to the doctors for some tests which he's been urging me to do. He then took on a different note and asked me what the hell kind of tests was the doc going to perform? I started crying and told him I don't know seeing as the doc doesn't appear to believe me, much like you. He didn't like that one at all, got angry and hung up. Funny thing was I didn't get angry at hubby because I know he's just as fed up with my ailing health as I am. I carried on with my work and ignored my phone for awhile til I regained control and when I finally picked up his call, the first words I heard were "I'm so sorry honey, please forgive me, I'm so sorry for being such a jerk. I know your not well and I should be more supportive" Well you can imagine the floods gates opened right up again. I thanked him and we lived happily ever after. ha ha

I left work at 1pm yesterday and beelined for the HFS that carries my favorite yogurt and purchased some Geens+ capsules. Several years ago when I started having hypoglycemic symptoms, I took the Greens+ and it truly helped. I stopped taking them a year ago because I was so fed up with all the pills I was taking on a daily basis just to maintain some sense of control. When I got home I took 4 right away and the interesting part and encouraging part for me was that when I awoke from my nap I actually had a clearer head and enough energy to put together a really healthy dinner for us. I'm hoping they will help me make it thru to my explant whenever that is. I phoned my PS's office yesterday to get some idea of how long the approval rate could be and was told perhaps 2 months and then surgery date could be another 2 months so if I have another 4 mos with these implants then I have to do something to help me along the way. Dear God help me please.

I saw my GP this morning and told him not to go anywhere near the depression and he laughed at me and said "Oh damn, you just squelched my thunder" I said I know you too well and know where your headed with these symptoms I'm having. We had a good long discussion and it felt good just to be heard. We did some blood tests for thyroid, iron deficiency, general yada yada. He agreed that it could be the implants that are causing havic in my body. He has also given me a prescription for Diflucan to see if it will help with the systemic yeast/bacteria problem. He said it was a real possibilty that the bacteria problem could be caused by the implants or at the very least the scar tissue encapsulating the implant. That's probably as close as I'm going to get to any professional saying they are a problem. The weakness and muscle fatigue along with the major hair loss daily is something he is showing concern about which helps me a bit. But alas, before we departed he did give me his usual speel on the anti-depressants or that the depression could inadvertantly be causing some of my physical symptoms but given that I''ve got about 4 months with the implants still in me he said it wouldn't be smart at this point to even consider taking them. I just chuckled to myself on that one. I really like him and respect him and have to laugh at his one track mind. Good thing he is open and doesn't pretend to know it all.

My heart palpitations have increased but I believe that is because I'm more stressed since learning what the implants are doing to me. Its hard to walk around knowing that you've got poison floating around in your body and not be affected by it. I take St s Wort when I remember and it helps to calm me. Take care all and talk with ya soon. Jackie