First mammogram

[Guest guest]

Okay, Okay, this really helps alot! I admit I have never had a mammogram

yet, and it probably will be a long time till I even consider it after

reading this thing.

Patty

> > First Mammogram

> >

> > As a physician, I thought I would pass on this

> > helpful hint to all my women friends.

> > If this ends up in a guy's mailbox,

> > please give to your wife.

> > Many women are afraid of their first mammogram,

> > but there is no need to worry.

> > By taking a few minutes each day for a week

> > preceding the exam and doing the

> > following practice exercises, you will be

> > totally prepared for the test,

> > and best of all, you can do these simple

> > practice exercises right in your home.

> >

> > EXERCISE 1:

> > Open your refrigerator door and insert one

> > breast between the door and

> > the main box. Have one of your strongest friends

> > slam the door shut as hard as

> > possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position

> > for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time

> > wasn't effective enough.

> >

> > EXERCISE 2:

> > Visit your garage at 3 AM when the

> > temperature of the cement floor

> > is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie

> > comfortably on the floor

> > with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the

> > car. Ask a friend to slowly back

> > the car up until your breast is sufficiently

> > flattened and chilled. Turn

> > over and repeat for the other breast.

> >

> > EXERCISE 3:

> > Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip

> > to the waist. Invite a stranger

> > into the room. Press the bookends against

> > one of your breasts. Smash

> > the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an

> > appointment with the stranger

> > to meet next year and do it again. You are

> > now properly prepared.

> >

> > Just a thought for all the women out

> > there... Ever notice how all of women's

> > problems start with men?

> >

> > MENtal illness

> > MENstrual cramps

> > MENtal breakdown

> > MENopause

> > And when we have real trouble, it's

> > HISterectomy. Send this to all

> > of the women you know and brighten their

> > day!!!