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,

I think that one thing you would need to consider asking him is that

once his dog is gone, is he willing to live dogless for the rest of

his life, if it does prove to be problematic for you once you do

move in.

My mother has 2 old dogs. My DD is terribly allergic to dogs, and

gets a severe asthma attack that usually lasts 36 hours when she

enters a " dog " house. (that's 36 hours of being unable to breathe

normally, despite my entire arsenal of natural and conventional

meds.) My mom lives in Texas and we live in the NW. We can not

visit her due to this. I'm waiting to see if once her dogs pass on,

if she gets new dogs or not. That will be very telling to me of

exactly how much she wants a relationship with her grandaughter.

I think you will learn a lot by his answer too. If that's the only

thing standing in your way of happily ever after, then I'd find a

way to deal with it. Before I was into natural medicine, DH took

allergy shots for horses and cats just to be around me.

Just some thoughts...

Marla

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I checked the archives for info on allergies, but didn't quite

find the information I need. I

> have a situation in my personal life, so I'm hoping some of you

might have some advice to

> offer.

>

> I'm allergic to my boyfriend's dogs. We broke up earlier in the

year for this reason (we'd

> been together almost 2 years but I felt like the relationship

could not go any further

> because we couldn't get married because of the dogs). Well, now

he has proposed and

> wants me and my son to move in. He said he will send us both to

an allergist, and pay for

> shots if we need it.

>

> With this diet, my allergies have improved dramatically. So now I

actually think I might be

> able to tolerate dogs better than ever before.

>

> So this is what I can't figure out... If I am getting healthier,

then pet allergies might not be

> much of a concern anymore, right? But would having to deal with

something I'm allergic

> to in my living environment, delay my healing? I could kind of

see it both ways - maybe

> I'm getting better enough that I could do it, or maybe it would

just be an additional stress

> on my body right now while it's trying to get better.

>

> I love him, by the way and want to marry him. But my health (and

my son's health) has

> become my top priority now.

>

> Anyone have any comments about living with pet allergies, or

healing from pet allergies?

>

> Thanks.

>

> in Tennesee

>

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>

>

> I think that one thing you would need to consider asking him is that

> once his dog is gone, is he willing to live dogless for the rest of

> his life.

>

> Before I was into natural medicine, DH took

> allergy shots for horses and cats just to be around me.

>

Marla,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about it. How is your hubby now? He

doesn't still take shots? Are his allergies cured?

The dogs has been really our only major problem. Unfortunately I

already know the answer to whether he would consider life without

dogs - the answer is no. That's why we broke up. The dog he had when

we met was hit by a car and so he got 2 more! I decided that if

having dogs were more important to him than my health, then there was

no future for us. But then he came back with an engagement ring to

prove he was serious about the relationship. He keeps saying I can

just get shots and take medicine and I'll be okay.

Other than the dogs and his attitude about them, our relationship has

been great. Though he does tease me A LOT about my " wacko " health

theories and the way I eat.

I really love feeling better finally and I don't want to hinder my

progress in any way. But what if I get better enough that I no longer

have any allergies?

I haven't been able to tell if my son is allergic to the dogs or not.

And I cannot control my son's diet as much as my own.

in Tennessee

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Dear ,

To begin with your question, I would believe that the constant irritation

from the dogs will prolong your healing, I believe that shots and medication

will definitely prolong the healing as you are putting toxins/poisons into

you body.

Now please bear with me while I share my story and MY opinion (take what you

will) :

I think him asking someone to medicate themselves so that he can continue to

have dogs is wrong in my opinion. You state that his dog died

(during/after) your relationship and then he got 2 more knowing that it was

a HUGE problem for you regarding allergies. To me that speaks volumes.

More volumes then a ring actually. ( in my humble opinion)

Also if he teases you, my late husband always said " there is a little bit

of truth in all jokes/teasing that some one does " (ie we believes some of

what he is saying even if it is in a joking manner), then how are you going

to maintain your stance when you have it even more often because of being in

the same household. And what affect will his teasing and deriding the

diet/natual healing etc have on your son day in and day out ?

Now to explain I am an animal LOVER and I MEAN that. I am 40 years old. I

have had animals (dog/cats and more) from the age of zero ! Even in college

I got dogs because I like them so much. When I emigrated to the UK I got

more dogs/cats. 2 Greyhounds and 7 Persians to be exact. They were my life

and I was devastated when the first Persian died. I cried for weeks/ months

actually probably occasionally a few years later when I thought about Chleo

dying. I was convinced that I never wanted children. The animals WERE my

children. I at times had to go without food in order to have money to feed

them. They had the BEST food available, the BEST vet treatment etc.

When my friends had children and I saw them not taking as much time with

their animals I was AGHAST ! HOW could they be so cruel to the animals I

would ask ? I even lost friendships over the fact I thought they were wrong

making their 'own' children more important than their pets who had been

there first ! (ok bear with me right now !)

OK so do you see my level of love and commitment to my animals and animals

in general ?

So now to my point.. when I had children ( much to my surprise !! remember

I said I never want to have children as the animals WERE my children ? ) my

baby daughter had problems with the animals being around. I had a choice at

that time, medicate her or remove the animals. The animals, through tears,

were found new loving homes. And guess what, I am still alive, I haven't

died from not having animals around. Yes occasionally I do miss having a

cat or dog but I had to put the welfare of my children over MY own selfish

needs/desires (speaking of myself now :-) )

Maybe we will have animals WAY into the future maybe not. Who knows.

HOpe that some of this helps

displaced in the UK hoping to return to the US :-)

On 3/4/07, <kentucky_sal@...> wrote:

>

>

> >

> >

> > I think that one thing you would need to consider asking him is that

> > once his dog is gone, is he willing to live dogless for the rest of

> > his life.

> >

>

> > Before I was into natural medicine, DH took

> > allergy shots for horses and cats just to be around me.

> >

>

> Marla,

>

> Thanks for sharing your thoughts about it. How is your hubby now? He

> doesn't still take shots? Are his allergies cured?

>

> The dogs has been really our only major problem. Unfortunately I

> already know the answer to whether he would consider life without

> dogs - the answer is no. That's why we broke up. The dog he had when

> we met was hit by a car and so he got 2 more! I decided that if

> having dogs were more important to him than my health, then there was

> no future for us. But then he came back with an engagement ring to

> prove he was serious about the relationship. He keeps saying I can

> just get shots and take medicine and I'll be okay.

>

> Other than the dogs and his attitude about them, our relationship has

> been great. Though he does tease me A LOT about my " wacko " health

> theories and the way I eat.

>

> I really love feeling better finally and I don't want to hinder my

> progress in any way. But what if I get better enough that I no longer

> have any allergies?

>

> I haven't been able to tell if my son is allergic to the dogs or not.

> And I cannot control my son's diet as much as my own.

>

> in Tennessee

>

>

>

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If a pet owner is unwilling to put the pet outside, or at least the

garage, considering the health of a " loved one " .....good grief!!! They

put the pet over the human. What kind of goofy is that?

And to clean up an environment full of pet dander, all in the

carpet/furniture, every nook and cranny.......wow, what a job. And when

your not looking, is the dog slipping back inside? Poor dog will be

very confused.

Any chance you are more allergic to the dog shampoo......or the lack of

shampoo.....or the bug control? That is a huge issue for me. I stopped

using the perfumed shampoos for myself and used only my shampoo for the

dogs. My poodle will have asthma if I use perfumy shampoo, even if I

use the usual household cleansers. And you should see him act silly

holding his nose, rolling on the floor when I remove my finger nail polish.

Zuni

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>

> Hi everyone, I checked the archives for info on allergies, but

didn't quite find the information I need. I have a situation in my

personal life, so I'm hoping some of you might have some advice to

offer.

==>Did you read the article " Animal Dander Allergy or Sensitivity " :

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/articles/allergy3.php

> I'm allergic to my boyfriend's dogs. We broke up earlier in the

year for this reason (we'd been together almost 2 years but I felt

like the relationship could not go any further because we couldn't

get married because of the dogs). Well, now he has proposed and

wants me and my son to move in. He said he will send us both to an

allergist, and pay for shots if we need it.

==>You can take natural antihistamines instead of getting shots.

>

> With this diet, my allergies have improved dramatically. So now I

actually think I might be able to tolerate dogs better than ever

before.

>

> So this is what I can't figure out... If I am getting healthier,

then pet allergies might not be much of a concern anymore, right?

==>Yes, that is correct. I turned around all my sensitivities when I

cured my candida. I used to be allergic to cats; I'd get a migraine

headache when in an enclosed space with them and within minutes my

migraine disappeared when I went outside. I lived with my daughter

for 4 months while doing the candida program. She had a dog and

where she brushed up against my skin or even if she wagged her tail

against my skin I'd break out in a horrible itchy rash. Those

reactions didn't occur after I cured my candida.

>But would having to deal with something I'm allergic to in my living

environment, delay my healing? I could kind of see it both ways -

maybe I'm getting better enough that I could do it, or maybe it would

just be an additional stress on my body right now while it's trying

to get better.

==>I do not believe your healing would be delayed a lot. The article

on Animal Dander will advise steps you can take to minimize your

exposure.

>

> I love him, by the way and want to marry him. But my health (and

my son's health) has become my top priority now.

==>My opinion is that your health will be better off if you are with

the one you love . Like I said you can take natural

antihistamines as well. Stinging nettle tea is particularly good.

Luv, Bee

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Hi

> Thanks for sharing your thoughts about it. How is your hubby now? He

> doesn't still take shots? Are his allergies cured?

++DH is just the same as ever. He did take the shots for many years. We

had 2 cats and 1 dog when DD was born. Shortly after she was born, our dog

was killed by the neighbor's dog (totally devastating because our dog was

our " baby " for 10 years before DD was born. One of our cats also died. (was

old)) Our last cat now lives a happy life with my parents. Our DD is a very

sick little girl and is very allergic to pets. We can never have any more

pets. I am an animal love like , I worked as a vet tech for 8 years

and was going to be a veterinarian. I wanted a farm!

I had the cats when I met DH, and he did fine taking shots and Allegra-D.

But he had to take all that anyway because he's so allergic. But he did

take a special, separate cat shot. Later he took a special horse shot. So

at one time, he got 3 shots a week (1 general, 1 cat, 1 horse.)

One year, the cats started peeing all over the place, so they were confined

to the sunroom and adjoining living room after that (and after re-litter box

training). They used to sleep with us at one point! After they were

confined, DH only had to take one Allegra-D before he came home from work

every day. My timeline is way off, because this was years before DD was

born.

But DH is not into natural medicine. I've sort of forbidden him (by way of

not buying) any conventional meds. He won't buy anything for himself nor

take himself to any type of doctor (ND or MD) When his allergies flare up,

we do lots of quercetin & homeopathics. So far, they can not help him and

every spring, he gets very sick and wheezes for a couple of months. It's

rather sad!!

said: " The dogs has been really our only major problem. Unfortunately

I

already know the answer to whether he would consider life without

dogs - the answer is no. That's why we broke up. The dog he had when

we met was hit by a car and so he got 2 more! I decided that if

having dogs were more important to him than my health, then there was

no future for us. But then he came back with an engagement ring to

prove he was serious about the relationship. He keeps saying I can

just get shots and take medicine and I'll be okay. "

++Well, this is just my opinion. And I totally agree with 's

assessment. Oprah once quoted someone else with one of her favorite quotes,

and it's so true. " When someone reveals themselves to you, BELIEVE them the

FIRST time. " To me, this means that I don't override my intuition about

people, especially when they've said or done something that says " who they

are. "

He may not understand what he's asking of you. I know that it took me a

very long time to turn to natural medicines & nutrition. He may not truly

understand what type of devastation he may possibly asking of you. (What

*IF* you are really sick when you move in?)

It just says a lot that he got 2 more dogs when his first dog died. What

you correctly read is that having dogs is more important to him than having

you healthy. Did he *truly know* your problem with dogs when he got 2

more? Perhaps he wasn't as serious about you at that time? I'm trying to

give him some benefit of the doubt here.

I am just afraid for you that this is a " little " (or big) red flag that

shows there are deeper problems in the relationship than just dogs. He just

might be someone who says " I'll do my thing and you deal with it " in all

areas of life. That would set you up for a disastrous marriage. I strongly

recommend some very good premarital counseling before you even agree to

marry him.

If I were Dr. , you know, who listens to a little tidbit of a problem

and then spouts off advice, I'd say that you deserve much better than that.

Hey, you might call her and see what she says!

I'm really sorry you are in such a pickle! Please understand that I'm just

giving my own thoughts on the matter, and please do what feels reasonable

and smart to you.

hth,

Marla

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>

>

> believe that the constant irritation

> from the dogs will prolong your healing, I believe that shots and

medication

> will definitely prolong the healing as you are putting

toxins/poisons into

> you body.

, yes this was my concern exactly!

> You state that his dog died

> (during/after) your relationship and then he got 2 more knowing

that it was

> a HUGE problem for you regarding allergies. To me that speaks

volumes.

Yes, he got more dogs even after he knew about my allergies and

after we'd been together as long as we had. The thing was, though,

he was HEARTBROKEN when his first dog died. The fact that he is so

sensitive (when it comes to animals, at least) is one of the things

I've always loved about him.

>

> Now to explain I am an animal LOVER and I MEAN that. I

> I was convinced that I never wanted children. The animals WERE my

> children. I at times had to go without food in order to have money

to feed

> them. They had the BEST food available, the BEST vet treatment

etc.

>

> OK so do you see my level of love and commitment to my animals

and animals

> in general ?

I understand exactly what you describe, because this is how he is

about his dogs! He LOVES animals. He has no children, but calls

the dogs his " girls. " He spends so much time and money on them,

more than he spends on me :) He's so attached to them. He can't

stand seeing anyone treating their animals poorly! Ironically, this

is one of the things I like about him; that he has such a big heart

about animals. I just wish he'd consider some other kind of animal

I'm not allergic too :)

> So now to my point.. when I had children

> I had to put the welfare of my children over MY own selfish

> needs/desires )

Yeah, I think you have to be a parent to understand how it feels;

there's nothing I wouldn't give up for my son! See, my boyfriend

doesn't have kids, so I think he doesn't really get it. The animals

still are first to him.

> Also if he teases you, my late husband always said " there is a

little bit

> of truth in all jokes/teasing that some one does "

> And what affect will his teasing and deriding the

> diet/natual healing etc have on your son day in and day out ?

(I changed the order of your message a little and put this at the

end.) Good point. That's something I considered, but decided that

I hold my ground pretty well and my son gets to see that no one can

tease me or shame me out of what I believe is right. He gets to see

that people can believe different things and live in different ways

without it being a problem. And yes, I agree there's some truth in

teasing.

I noticed you mentioned your " late " husband. I'm very sorry to hear

about your loss.

> HOpe that some of this helps

Yes, it helped VERY much! Thank you so much.

in Tennessee

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>

>

>

> Our DD is a very

> sick little girl and is very allergic to pets.

Marla, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe she can improve with time? My

son has allergies - I just don't know yet what they are. He's

always stuffy and constantly coughs. I'm hoping that as I sneak him

on this diet as much as possible (when he's not at his dad's), that

he'll eventually improve.

> at one time, he got 3 shots a week (1 general, 1 cat, 1 horse.)

>

> When his allergies flare up,

> we do lots of quercetin & homeopathics. So far, they can not help

him and

> every spring, he gets very sick and wheezes for a couple of months.

Poor guy! I'm sorry to hear he still suffers so much.

> Oprah once quoted someone else with one of her favorite quotes,

> and it's so true. " When someone reveals themselves to you,

BELIEVE them the

> FIRST time. "

This is a good quote to remember, thanks!

> He may not understand what he's asking of you.

Yeah, I think that's it. His beliefs about health are just so

different from mine, and like I mentioned in another post, he

doesn't have kids of his own. So I think he just doesn't really

understand this is so important to me.

> Did he *truly know* your problem with dogs when he got 2

> more? Perhaps he wasn't as serious about you at that time? I'm

trying to

> give him some benefit of the doubt here.

Thanks for giving him the benefit of the doubt - that's very fair of

you :) But yes, he knew about my allergies when he got the new

dogs. I had pretty much stopped going over to his place because of

the symptoms I had whenever I was there (coughing, sneezing, itchy

eyes and skin). So he knew. He's just so attached to animals; he

was devastated when he lost the first dog. He cried. I really

tried to be sympathetic because he was hurting so much at the time.

>

> recommend some very good premarital counseling before you even

agree to

> marry him.

>

Thanks, this is a good suggestion. We actually went to some

counseling after we broke up and were trying to work it out. The

therapist said he should seriously consider giving up the dogs. He

didn't like hearing that and didn't want to go back anymore. You

make a good point that it could be an indicator of how he might

handle other problems in the future.

> Please understand that I'm just

> giving my own thoughts on the matter

Yes, this is all I asked for :) I just wanted to gather some

opinions and similar experiences others may have had. Thank you so

much!!

in Tennessee

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>

> to clean up an environment full of pet dander, all in the

> carpet/furniture, every nook and cranny.......wow, what a job.

>

Zuni, you're not kidding! That stuff gets everywhere!! He cleans

all the time to try to keep it under control, but it's like there's

no stopping it :) I think as long as the dogs are there, it's

impossible to keep the environment free of dander.

> Any chance you are more allergic to the dog shampoo......or the

lack of

> shampoo.....or the bug control?

That's a good point. For a while, he was washing the dogs often,

until his vet told him it dries their skin too much. He does use

some kind of dog shampoo. Also all kinds of flea & tick stuff.

I read in the archives that the ANIMAL'S diet can have an affect

also. I read a little about the raw pet food diet. Given how

different my boyfriend's beliefs are, I think I'd have a very hard

time convincing him to feed them differently.

My poodle will have asthma if I use perfumy shampoo, even if I

> use the usual household cleansers. And you should see him act

silly

> holding his nose, rolling on the floor when I remove my finger

nail polish.

That sounds so funny! I mean, poor dog, for having sensitivities to

you, but it sounds hilarious to see a dog rolling on the floor

holding its nose! I never thought about pets having allergies to

our stuff!

Thanks so much, Zuni, for sharing your thoughts on this. It's been

incredibly helpful.

in Tennessee

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>

>

> ==>You can take natural antihistamines instead of getting shots.

>

Oh good, that sounds much better than shots.

> ==>Yes, that is correct. I turned around all my sensitivities

> when I cured my candida.

>

> ==>I do not believe your healing would be delayed a lot.

This is exactly what I was hoping! I was really trying to convince

myself this would be the case, but I was afraid of regretting it later

if I was wrong.

> ==>My opinion is that your health will be better off if you are with

> the one you love . Like I said you can take natural

> antihistamines as well. Stinging nettle tea is particularly good.

You make a good point, Bee. Thank you very much for your advice!

in Tennessee

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--- <kentucky_sal@...> wrote:

> I read in the archives that the ANIMAL'S diet can

> have an affect

> also. I read a little about the raw pet food diet.

> Given how

> different my boyfriend's beliefs are, I think I'd

> have a very hard

> time convincing him to feed them differently.

I've been reading this thread with interest. I know

for a fact that the right diet for a pet can effect

things like this. For instance I had a 13 year old

Samoyed/Lab mix who I put on a BARF diet. She was 20+

pounds overweight, arthritic and at times smelly. In

a year she lost those 20 pounds, arthritis was almost

gone and smelled wonderful.

You don't really have to convince your boyfriend to

try this, just tell him that if you are willing to

compromise with your allergies, then he needs to be

willing to compromise too. You might want to say,

yes I'll accept your proposal as long as you:

- Promise you will put them outside if I ask you to,

no questions asked

- Allow me to change their diet in the hopes this will

help me with my allergies

- Assist me in keeping the house very clean

- Make any changes like removing rugs, etc. to help

with any issues

- Support me on my diet which I believe will help me

with my allergies

Get all that in writing. Like Dr. Phil says, all

relationships are negotations. It sounds to me like

this is a really good guy. I think it says a lot

about him how loving he is with his animals. Don't

expect him to be perfect or say all the right things

right away.. men usually need to be trained and it

takes a long time. :)

My husband was very good with my dog, even cried quite

a bit when we had to put her to sleep and helped me

take care of her. My dog was 14 when I had to put her

to sleep. The condo I was leasing was up for renewal,

and we had some really mean neighbors that complained

about my dog and every little thing because they liked

to harass people.

Our landlord told us our lease was up in 20 days and

unless we got rid of our dog we couldn't stay. My son

was only a few months old at the time, we had no money

saved for a deposit and it would have been a serious

hardship to move.

I considered allowing my MIL to watch her for a while

but my dog was very attached to me and she was pretty

old and I thought it was better to put her to sleep

peacefully rather than uproot her and let her get to

an age where she might suffer.

It was an incredibly hard decision and I still don't

like to think about it. I think what's probably

happening here is that your boyfriend thinks your

allergies might be a bit exagerated or that a

pill/shot can just make them go away.

I'm sure he loves you and loves his dogs and it's

probably very hard for him to have to make a choice

between the two, and he probably just thinks this will

all work out, and doesn't believe the pills/shots

would be harmful. I do believe that allergies are

just a sign of a weakened immune system, and this diet

will help.

So if I were you, I'd do the following:

- Get engaged and stay engaged for a while and see how

the whole thing plays out

- Negotiate the terms for the dogs laid out above

- Continue on the diet so you have less allergies

- Put the dogs on the diet so they have less issues as

well (their skin will be less dry and they will shed

less dander!)

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

-------------

Our lives are ordinary and fine, but if we want an extraordinary life, we have

to push.

My son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04) http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

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>

> he needs to be

> willing to compromise too. You might want to say,

> yes I'll accept your proposal as long as you:

>

> - Promise you will put them outside if I ask you to,

> no questions asked

> - Allow me to change their diet in the hopes this will

> help me with my allergies

> - Assist me in keeping the house very clean

> - Make any changes like removing rugs, etc. to help

> with any issues

> - Support me on my diet which I believe will help me

> with my allergies

>

> Get all that in writing. Like Dr. Phil says, all

> relationships are negotations. It sounds to me like

> this is a really good guy. I think it says a lot

> about him how loving he is with his animals. Don't

> expect him to be perfect or say all the right things

> right away.. men usually need to be trained and it

> takes a long time. :)

>

> >

> So if I were you, I'd do the following:

>

> - Get engaged and stay engaged for a while and see how

> the whole thing plays out

> - Negotiate the terms for the dogs laid out above

> - Continue on the diet so you have less allergies

> - Put the dogs on the diet so they have less issues as

> well (their skin will be less dry and they will shed

> less dander!)

>

Debby,

Wow, I couldn't have asked for better step-by-step instructions.

The way you listed these things out was incredibly helpful.

We're negotiating now - we're going to see a counselor today. Your

list really makes it clear what I should specifically ask for.

Thanks so much!

I'm sorry to hear about the dog you had to put to sleep. What a sad

story! It's unfortunate that situations like that happen.

in Tennessee

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try NAET sarah. they have helped many ppl with so many allergies. they

have a website with a listing of practitioners allover the world. just

type NAET into google. many ppl with many allergies don;t have them

anymore with this technique. it uses acupuncture and acupressure.

monique

wrote:

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I checked the archives for info on allergies, but didn't quite find

> the information I need. I

> have a situation in my personal life, so I'm hoping some of you might

> have some advice to

> offer.

>

> I'm allergic to my boyfriend's dogs. We broke up earlier in the year

> for this reason (we'd

> been together almost 2 years but I felt like the relationship could

> not go any further

> because we couldn't get married because of the dogs). Well, now he has

> proposed and

> wants me and my son to move in. He said he will send us both to an

> allergist, and pay for

> shots if we need it.

>

> With this diet, my allergies have improved dramatically. So now I

> actually think I might be

> able to tolerate dogs better than ever before.

>

> So this is what I can't figure out... If I am getting healthier, then

> pet allergies might not be

> much of a concern anymore, right? But would having to deal with

> something I'm allergic

> to in my living environment, delay my healing? I could kind of see it

> both ways - maybe

> I'm getting better enough that I could do it, or maybe it would just

> be an additional stress

> on my body right now while it's trying to get better.

>

> I love him, by the way and want to marry him. But my health (and my

> son's health) has

> become my top priority now.

>

> Anyone have any comments about living with pet allergies, or healing

> from pet allergies?

>

> Thanks.

>

> in Tennesee

>

>

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