Saturday Night

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone: It is Saturday night and I am very much alone and

depressed right now. I know this isn't good for me but I cannot help

it. I can't believe after everything I have been through that I can

even care about this issue, yet I do. I am so devastated by how I

feel about myself right now. I don't know what to do. I have seen

some gradual improvements in my health since getting out my implants

5 weeks ago, yet I am overwhelmed by my depression at how I look. I

feel so awful, scarred and ugly. I knew I would feel this way and

that was why I didn't get the implants out right away when I first

got sick(because I know it was the implants) but I also was

frightened about the depression I would end up in and I was right, I

am so depressed. I am sure this is normal and as my health continues

to return I am hoping it shall pass, but i am crazy over this. I feel

I will never again take my clothes of in front of anyone...I am

embarassed and really hate the way I look without my implants. This

is such a hard thing to deal with and I am not sure if it would be

easier even if I wasn't single, but being alone doesn't help. I want

my health back and that is why I chose to get the implants out, but I

still can't get over this feeling that I am never going to feel

confident, sexy, or good about myself ever again. This is the whole

issue that drove me to get implants in the first place and it is

back, that feeling of being way too young and otherwise attractive to

have these awful breasts. I am sorry if I am depressing anyone I just

felt the need to get this out and also I think women going through

this need to realize that they may end up feeling these same feelings

and to prepare yourself for it. However, I am really happy that allot

of my symptoms are at times gone, though they do almost always

return, I would have to say they are allot better than they were.

maybe when they are all resolved I will be able to get over this

feeling, but I doubt it, I will never feel great about my breasts I

am sure, since I didn't before the implants.....this is so hard, I

never thought I would end up like this and after all the $$$ it cost

me, it is really sad.

I am going to prepare myself to do a fast I think this may really

help me, and maybe once I am well I can get into weight lifting and

just make the most out of my great features and then feel better

about things.

I kind of regret getting the implants out, but I know I did the right

thing, cause eventually i would have ended up even sicker, probably

beyond getting well.

THanks for listening

[Guest guest]

My schedule has changed so that I could manage to get to Saturday night's dinner (tonight.)

Does anyone know if there are extra seats at this point?

I don't kow who to get in touch with. I didn't save information, as I thought it would be impossible for me to go. If anyone can tell me about last minute reservations, please do.

Harper

San Francisco**************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy?NCID=aolcmp00300000002548)

[Guest guest]

I just sent you info on this...kimberlyOn Feb 2, 2008 6:18 AM, <flatcat9@...> wrote:

My schedule has changed so that I could manage to get to Saturday night's dinner (tonight.)

Does anyone know if there are extra seats at this point?

I don't kow who to get in touch with. I didn't save information, as I thought it would be impossible for me to go. If anyone can tell me about last minute reservations, please do.

Harper

San Francisco**************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy?NCID=aolcmp00300000002548)