2 month update continued

[Guest guest]

I had to end that post rather quickly, but wanted to add a couple of

more things that have been on my mind.

Part of the reason I am doing so many things is because I am

stubborn and hate it when people think I can't do much. So I think

there is some part of me that has to overcompensate and prove them

wrong. The other part is that I am definately feeling what many of

you have warned about (thanks again for all of the

forewarnings/preparations from you veterans!!) - that my husband is

getting sick of the " sick " routine. To give the guy credit,

for the past few years he does an amazing amount of things that most

working spouses of stay-at-home moms don't have to do - all the

grocery shopping, some cooking, some cleaning, bathing kids, all the

dishes, all yardwork, taking vacation days to drive me to dr appts,

etc. But it's frustrating for me that he doesn't feel the same way

I do about my accomplishments. When I'm really excited about

something that I've noticed is suddenly remarkably easier to do (or

was impossible to do), he doesn't seem to care anymore. Or when I

ask for help with something that I cannot yet do, he makes comments

about how I should be able to do something like that myself by now,

or why didn't they keep me in rehab longer, etc. And I absolutely

HATE having to ask for help or being made to feel like I am a burden

on other people. With MS, I finally was getting over that and was

just going ahead and asking for help when I needed it. Now, it's a

catch-22. If I ask my husband for help, his comments make me want

to cry - and I feel inadequate or like a burden. If I don't ask him

for help then something could happen like I don't get to shower, or

don't get my prescriptions refilled.

So then I feel I have to compensate for my inadequacies by finding

ways to do laundry, bathe the kids, etc, just to prove that I CAN do

things still.

I guess my question is, how do you find a balance between this stuff

without exhausting yourself, going crazy, or else being driven to

tears at every little perceived criticism? I don't know if I am

taking my husband's comments too personally and maybe he's not

really trying to be spiteful? Or maybe he is tired of all of this

and really is being an ass?

Then to add to the mix, his grandmother is expected to pass away any

day now. She is the cornerstone of their large family and even at

age 91 was incredibly active & involved in everyone's lives. I was

really close to her too and it's hard to deal with the reality that

she is almost gone.

Now add in some more goodies - the two-year old being up sick the

last night or two, and now the 3yr old getting stuffed up and not

sleeping well tonight... I can't figure out if I am just

oversensitive and over-reacting to things because of the meds & lack

of sleep, or what.