new member. Where do I start?

Posted January 14, 2001 · January 14, 2001

Hi ,

I don't know where to start and feel nervous posting. I got my

implants about 2 and half years ago. After having my children by

breasts were deformed looking. If my plastic surgeon really cared ,

I feel he would have explained Mastopexy options instead of promoting

the saline implants. But I already know the doctors dont care now.

Well, I don't have the money to get them out . Where do I go and what

do I do? Its at least $5-6,000 for an explant. To get a mastopexy

with it will be around the 10,000 mark. I have been so depressed and

its getting worse as the months go by.

I go to my gynocologist on the 26th this month. There is an area

under my armpit on the outer/upper portion of one breast that gets

swollen and tender each month, when I have PMS.. Like its displaced

breast tissue that is reacting to my hormonal changes or something.

Anyway , I am worried. tired and my heart is sick. miserable and my

poor family suffers because of my state of mind.

All the information here is wonderful , at the same time, painful. I

already know they're bad, I already know I want them out. I read all

the medical reports and die inside because I dont have the money to

get them out . So I sit here and have increased anxiety . Part of me

wishes all those reports and forwards were separate from

the " support " area. I need support , not to be scared everytime I

read an email . I already know the bad and reading more of the bad

just increased my depression and fear. I hope that makes sense.

Maybe after I can get these explanted I will be okay reading all the

reports , until then .. I can't take it.

Roma

Posted January 14, 2001 · January 14, 2001

Hi Roma,

First of all, let me say welcome and that I can completely identify with all

of the things you are writing--the pain, the depression and the whole

nightmare of this experience, especially where the family and children are

concerned. None of this is fair.

I am also so very sorry that you are finding it not supportive enough...I

know how frightening it is to read all of the information that is posted,

when it points to the things implants can do, are doing to women, and that

there just aren't that many answers.....that was the very BIGGEST

disappointment I had when I found the implant support groups.

At first I was like, YEAH!!!! Others have been through this, and they can

help me! I am going to get better and they are going to tell me how!!!!

And then I found out that nobody knew how to get better, only had

suggestions, and the most important one was to get the implants out. There

was all this suffering and confusion, and the doctors were not helping.

The women seemed to be like survivors of a shipwreck, tossed about in a tiny

little boat in a big churning sea, lost, but paddling for all their worth to

find some kind of island of salvation. Some were lost, and they died--but

there is a mighty group of women out there who are not giving up and we are

not giving in to the lies that are being spread.

I do hope to be more supportive to you, and the best thing I can think to do

is to tell you that after 3 years, I am finally feeling almost 100% back to

normal. In my own search, I sought and found women who were getting better,

and tried to maintain some contact, so I could have hope. Many times, I

found that they were getting better, only to fall back into worse symptoms

for a time. That happened to me. It is like two steps forward, one step

back, sometimes one step forward, three steps back, and it just goes

on.....the hardest part of the whole healing process is to be patient and

hopeful. Never give up hope that you are going to get better with the

therapies you are using--(!......)

You have to be willing to try new ones, and to give your body a chance to

return to its normal state by not screwing with it too much. That means

getting rid of all the junk, the processed foods, chemicals in cosmetics,

the pesticides and crap that you are exposed to, and seeking a more natural

way of life. Getting back to raw foods, fruits and veggies, and paying

attention to what allergies might have developed. (For me it was chocolate,

corn and Brewer's yeast).

Depression is an awful thing, but I went through it for a very long time. I

was suicidal. I thought it would be much better to be dead than to live the

way I was. But I kept my faith (I knew God didn't want me dead yet, or He

would have taken me), and you know what? The depression just went away. As

I healed, and ate good foods, and cleared my body with fasting and detoxing,

the depression left and did not come back. In my own mind, I believe that

depression is a chemical imbalance, and you betcha that implants and drugs

and surgery cause a chemical imbalance! I think the depression is very

definitely also from our dissatisfaction from our figures, after all the

hoopla about how wonderful implants are and how they change our life, and we

don't want to go back to the way we were. I did go through that. But I

cannot explain why that all went away the way it did, because it seemed like

one day, the black clouds just lifted, and I was not depressed any more.

I am still dissatisfied with my breasts, to be sure, but I don't focus on

them anymore. I focus on the inside of me. I have found a way to deal with

my figure that leaves me unconcerned about it anymore--I wear the clothes

that I want and have confidence in myself. (OK, swimsuits are still

unchartered territory.)

I hope that this little bit of sharing from me will help. I wish I had time

to write more right now, but I am on my way to church....I will keep sharing

my feelings.

One thing I wanted to share....I have been feeling great! I mean absolutely

back to normal, 100% A-OK Patty! Then, yesterday, one of my girlfriends and

I decided to meet for breakfast, and she picked Starbucks....ohhh, I decided

to give in and try a little fancy cup of coffee and donut. Well, that was a

mistake, and I guess I kind of wanted to see what it would do to me, and I

am regretting it now. I was spacey all yesterday, and this morning I have a

horrible headache, and feel a little burning in the urethra area. I learned

a valuable lesson. If you are feeling good, DON'T CHEAT!

Today I will be fasting again.

Everyone, take care,

Love,

Patty