wipers and dignity, or lack thereof

[Guest guest]

If I didn't work in a testing center, I'd be laughing as hard as I

feel like and be in tears right now! Thank you, titch, for the

glimpse of reality! BTW, this is why I mentioned the wiper - figured

we ought to get it out in the open...kam

>

> I try to laugh at things wherever possible, and one that still

strikes me as

> funny after all these years is related to my first surgery. My

mum is a

> nurse, and many of the staff on the ward I was treated on were

former

> colleagues of hers, so I went in well warned as to who was good

and who

> wasn't so good. I rapidly found that from a patient perspective,

it was the

> ones who were labeled as not so good who I got on well with and

found to

> have a genuinely caring attitude and common sense.....

>

> So anyway. I was supposed to be kept horizontal for at least a

week, not

> that my surgeon bothered to come by and tell me or anyone else.

So on the

> Friday after my Monday surgery I was bored and restless, wanting

to speed

> things up (still hadn't seen el surgeon at this point), and

managed to sit

> myself up very carefully (and promptly nearly passed out of

course!) So

> when Saturday came and the surgeon popped by and said that I

couldn't even

> be propped up in bed until at least Monday, then it would be at

least a week

> to graduate to sitting and another week to standing, I was caught

between

> laughing at him and screaming in horror. The nurses however,

decided to get

> me up as it would make their life a lot easier than having to keep

providing

> bed pans.

>

> So. Later that morning they got me up for a commode instead of

rolling me

> onto a slipper bedpan. I made dual use of it, and of course was

able to

> reach my front, but not my rear. Things don't move that fast

after surgery

> btw, it can take a while for it all to move each time (TMI?)

Consequently,

> one of the nurses came in as I had finished and was attempting to

reach my

> rear, made a right old fuss (much frowning and fuffing through the

lips and

> sighing), and told me to finish what I was doing, it was clear I

couldn't

> reach. She then did the most astonishing thing - she picked up my

grabbers

> that the hospital had provided, wound some loo-roll around them,

and poked

> me 2 or 3 times in the rear with the whole contraption, gave it

all a quick

> woggle and declared it job done!!!

>

> Of course, I'm sure you've already guessed, this was one of the so-

called

> good nurses!! Admittedly this was a small rural hospital, but

even so! At

> the time I was just incredulous, but it's dead funny looking back

on it just

> for the surrealness of the whole thing. The one good thing that

came from

> the whole first surgery experience is that since then, when it

comes to

> medical professionals, I'm just not shy. No matter the problem, I

just go

> in there and tell them. If they need to see part of me, that part

gets

> presented. The amusing thing about this is that it's often them

that get

> embarrassed then, because they don't know what to make of a

patient who

> isn't being all coy and shy *lol* My poor surgeon looked like he

wanted the

> ground to open up and swallow him when he asked me to list the

problems that

> my flatback was causing me and the end of my long list was " oh,

and it's

> *completely* wrecked my sex life! "

>

> I'll shut up now - if nothing else, speaking of doctors, I have an

> appointment to get to.

>

> titch

>

>

> --

> Something unknown is doing we don't know what

>