Re: second guessing - Peggy

March 16, 2007

Hi Peggy, Since I am in the process of "picking a surgeon" - I can share a couple thoughts with you from my experience... First off, I agree with everything Cam wrote. As far as surgeons "wanting" to do surgery - from my experience they only want to, if you tell them the risk/reward ratio has been considered and that you are "Ready"... About trying alterior methods, rather than surgery.. Most will tell you that while surgery is considered "elective" - there will come a point where it may not be, I had a Dr tell me that I would be back to see him in a year or two at the most due to the pain, changes in my body.. I do not know your situation, but I can't see how a Dr could tell you that you could put it off THAT many years?? As for weight, after the Dr told me I would be back to see him - I went on a serious journey

to lose weight, I have lost 89 lbs to date (total time trying to lose = about 1.5 years).. I believe you are where I was just weeks ago, 2nd guessing... I agree it's normal, I also think the wisdom of this group was "haunting" me (in a good way) - there's so much wisdom here from those who have gone out ahead of us and I VALUE that so much..... Can't begin to put a price tag on it..... Follow your heart, you will know!! Take the groups advice and see someone where you can get good quality references from and if possible see a top doc - (How ever you define that)! I agree with , the list is longer than we know, but what could it hurt to go see one or two of the "Tried and True"?? Take care, Ken.cammaltby <cammaltby@...> wrote: Peggy,I would say that we all have second guessed ourselves on the risk/reward ratio for this surgery...I sure did. Seems to me it would be abnormal not to!This may be a broad, general statement...but if I was going to say that there is a mental process that we seem to go through approaching surgery...it seems to me that most often our members first must satisfy themselves that they have arrived at a point where surgery really is the "last resort". That means that they usually have tried every other non-invasive method suggested to them and then find themselves at the outer limits of pain control vs.

quality of life.I believe that somewhere along the way a good, qualified, second opinion helps to focus the range of choices before the patient, as well as build confidence in the surgeon and their relationship.You make a valid point....surgeons do surgery. That is their trade, and generally it can be supposed that most of them will propose it if they believe it is a viable option. It does seem that the SRS membership is beginning to focus on a more "comprehensive" approach to dealing with our health needs...but I suspect it comes down to the particular doctor, his/her practice and their interests.As has been said so many times before...this is elective surgery..rarely an emergency, and you can pick the time and place and surgeon whenever you feel that you are ready, if ever. And as many of us have said...that is really a "gut" feeling more than anything. If your life is working for you, and your pain is not

overwhelming every thought, every relationship, every otherwise joyful moment...you may not be ready to go ahead. Only you can know that.I know somewhere in the 6 months preceeding surgery I had tried epidural injections, was taking the max meds permitted for my work, was at a good weight, was working out in the pool, had a good support network in place....and the time was right. I suddenly saw fairly clearly that if something did not change fairly soon that equation was going to change. I never doubted that my husband loved me, but I did not like the way our relationship was changing...me dependant, cranky and in pain...not the woman he married. I didn't like the way I had to parent my child. I did not like every thought in my head to be about how I would negotiate the pain before I moved. I knew in my heart that although it wouldn't be something I would contemplate in the near future, that even suicide was

something that was probably going to move into the relm of "possible choices" if the pain I was in were to be my permanant fate. Once I was "there" I began to make the kinds of decisions that enabled me to move forward. Up until that point, in retrospect, I believe I was procrastinating or temporizing.We will never know how these decisions are all going to play out for us in advance. It is a big decision and a very personal one. Please take your time with it.Take Care,Cam

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March 16, 2007

> Peggy,

>

> I would say that we all have second guessed ourselves on the

> risk/reward ratio for this surgery...I sure did. Seems to me it

would

> be abnormal not to!

>

> This may be a broad, general statement...but if I was going to say

> that there is a mental process that we seem to go through

approaching

> surgery...it seems to me that most often our members first must

> satisfy themselves that they have arrived at a point where surgery

> really is the " last resort " . That means that they usually have

tried

> every other non-invasive method suggested to them and then find

> themselves at the outer limits of pain control vs. quality of life.

> I believe that somewhere along the way a good, qualified, second

> opinion helps to focus the range of choices before the patient, as

> well as build confidence in the surgeon and their relationship.

>

> You make a valid point....surgeons do surgery. That is their trade,

> and generally it can be supposed that most of them will propose it

if

> they believe it is a viable option. It does seem that the SRS

> membership is beginning to focus on a more " comprehensive " approach

> to dealing with our health needs...but I suspect it comes down to

the

> particular doctor, his/her practice and their interests.

>

> As has been said so many times before...this is elective

> surgery..rarely an emergency, and you can pick the time and place

and

> surgeon whenever you feel that you are ready, if ever. And as many

of

> us have said...that is really a " gut " feeling more than anything.

If

> your life is working for you, and your pain is not overwhelming

every

> thought, every relationship, every otherwise joyful moment...you

may

> not be ready to go ahead. Only you can know that.

>

> I know somewhere in the 6 months preceeding surgery I had tried

> epidural injections, was taking the max meds permitted for my work,

> was at a good weight, was working out in the pool, had a good

support

> network in place....and the time was right. I suddenly saw fairly

> clearly that if something did not change fairly soon that equation

> was going to change. I never doubted that my husband loved me, but

I

> did not like the way our relationship was changing...me dependant,

> cranky and in pain...not the woman he married. I didn't like the

way

> I had to parent my child. I did not like every thought in my head

to

> be about how I would negotiate the pain before I moved. I knew in

my

> heart that although it wouldn't be something I would contemplate in

> the near future, that even suicide was something that was probably

> going to move into the relm of " possible choices " if the pain I was

> in were to be my permanant fate. Once I was " there " I began to make

> the kinds of decisions that enabled me to move forward. Up until

that

> point, in retrospect, I believe I was procrastinating or

temporizing.

>

> We will never know how these decisions are all going to play out

for

> us in advance. It is a big decision and a very personal one. Please

> take your time with it.

>

> Take Care,

> Cam

>

> Dear All,

I am fairly new to this forum. I too am in the quandry of " will this

surgery make me better? " and which surgeon should I trust. My

original fusion (2000, T4-sacrum) took a long time to decide to do

and I went to Hopkins thinking I was trusting " the best. " I came out

of the fusion with flatback that I didn't know I had until I saw a

local surgeon. I immediately went on line to find out all I could

about it and was amazed at how I fit all the descriptions of the

problem. My point being that I feel that I have been left to make

decisions that I don't feel qualified to make. When, where and who

to do the surgery? Talking to you and others on this forum

definitely gives me the benefit of others experience but in the end,

Cam is so right- " It is a big decision and a very personal one. " No

one has a crystal ball. I have a lot of faith in God and that helps

and a family that loves me no matter what but no one wants to be a

burden on the people they love. Am I more of a burden now, or will I

be more of one later? UGH!!!!!

Thanks for all your thoughts, advice , and sharing your

insecurities. You are not alone.

Cam- because I am new, I don't know or I forgot-who did your surgery?

and what was your experience?

Thanks, and God bless

Jeanie

>

> ---------------------------------

> No need to miss a message. Get email on-the-go

> with for Mobile. Get started.

>

March 16, 2007