Re: Just shy of 6 months post-op

[Guest guest]

Dear Cam –

thanks so much for your descriptive updates. I’ve enjoyed the immensely.

Sometimes I start doubting myself about

the decision I made to have surgery, especially at my “good” time

of the day – about 10 AM – 12 PM. I ponder the question “does

it hurt enough to have surgery?” -- etc. Then by the

end of the day when my hip is hurting from walking and I make myself get on the

exercise bike to stay in shape for surgery and I look at my little girl (17

mos.), I know I have to get better for both of our futures. Yes, it will

be a hardship for about 6 months. But probably worth it in the long

run. I’m sure she will be a good helper for me. She just loves

to take all of her toys out of the baskets and put them back. I’m

sure she will just love picking up things for mommy. I just have to hope

she hands the dropped item to me and not take off running!

Have a wonderful vacation.

Lorrie

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of cammaltby

Sent: Saturday, August 06, 2005

11:53 AM

Subject: [ ] Just

shy of 6 months post-op

I know many of you are not all that interested in my continuing

recovery…but I promised I would keep a log

of the first year for

those contemplating surgery, and so I shall keep

my promise. I kept

my previous posts on the subject and they are in

the files section

if anyone wants to look back.

As I write this I am almost to my 6 month

anniversary. It is amazing

that time has passed as quickly as it has the past

few months. I

knew that my 6 month check would fall during our

family vacation to

Canada, so after checking with Priscilla that is was okay to delay

my check up, I decided to put that off until late

September.

If I had to say anything about this last time

period it is that I am

sure the fusion is getting pretty solid. There has

been a definite

change in how it feels to ride down a bumpy road

(which Nantucket is

full of). Where in the past I could feel the

jostling in my spine it

seems to have disappeared. Unless I have a long,

stressful day at

work my back does not ache at all. The only pain I

ever notice is

actually the same kind of muscle

tiredness/soreness that pre-dated

revision right below where the lower part of the S

curve that still

exists in my spine. The geometry of holding my

torso up is still

extra work for my spinal muscles and will be for

the rest of my

life. That hasn't changed. Sigh.

I am happy to report that I can easily stand and

step into pant or

shorts. Getting into a car and swinging the left

leg in still

requires mindfulness on my part…although it

has gotten easier. I

still can not fully shave my legs but have found

methods that work.

I am committed to pedicures as the solution to

foot care for the

remainder of the year….I still cannot reach

that far down. There is

still some numbness along the incisions but it

seems to be going

away…I notice it mostly on the anterior

side…I never much noticed

the posterior incision much…I am guessing

there are more nerves on

the front? I think the tingling in my right foot

still is improving

so I am hopeful that in time that will disappear

too. I believe that

nerve regeneration takes a long time, if it is to

happen at all.

There is not much that I am not doing these days

that predates

surgery. I have spent a lot of time at the beach

and on the boat. I

can get down into a beach chair, although getting

up is a little

awkward looking, it can be done. When riding in

the boat (an open 20

footer) I stand with my knees slightly flexed to

take any of the

impact out of the ride. The bigger houseboat we

will be on next week

is on pontoons and is a very soft ride so I am not

worried about

that at all. I think the thing that I have to

remember the most is

the weight lifting restrictions and how to solve

the problems when

there is lifting to be done. I try to pack light

beach bags and

grocery bags, but sometimes the only thing to be

done is to use good

body mechanics and pick something up.

Speaking of picking things up, I find that I have

a new rule in my

head whenever something drops. I look at whatever

it is and

carefully consider whether it is worth getting

down on my knees and

picking it up (as I usually don't have my grabber

at work or other

places). Usually I just leave whatever fell where

it is. Sometimes

other shoppers look at me kind of funny….but

too bad. This can be

very hard for someone as compulsive as me to

do….but I only have so

many " bends " in my knees and hips and I

elect to use them another

way! It's bad enough to change the sheets on the

bed on your knees;

I know I just can't expect them to take the

lifetime of abuse that

is coming to them if I get down on them for every

little thing.

The biggest challenge that I met recently was

attending a circus

with my family. I bought tickets before I

considered that the

seating would be bench seating and require me to

sit unsupported for

more than 2 hours. I am happy to report that I did

it!!! It was not

the most comfortable thing I have done, but

neither was it painful,

I guess it was tiring more than anything. I also

noticed plenty of

other people shifting in their seats finding it

difficult to be

comfy. It confirms that not everything in our

scoli lives is really

so different from the general population.

I guess to sum up the recent months I would have

to say that I now

find my back is not the first thing on my mind

when I get up in the

morning or move around during the day. As I think

Martha remarked at

around 6 months post-op, I have found myself

moving up and down the

stairs at a good clip forgetting that I should

have a hand on the

rail and be a little more cautious. I agree to do

things without

first considering my back. For me, the challenges

look like they

will be along the lines of still being able to

recruit the husband

and child to help when needed, because I can tell

that in their

minds I am healed. And since I partly play into

that by doing more

than I should, who can blame them? It is a

conundrum.

As some of you know Dianne came visiting last

weekend and although

my husband kind of laughed at some of the trouble

we both have

backing down into a chair, there don't seem to be

many limitations

on our lives. We are a little stiffer than some,

we need to have

small pillows in our chairs to be comfy, but

generally we are

enjoying fairly active lives. I know many people

are nervous about

what fusion to the sacrum looks like in terms of

stiffness. Other

than finding ways around a few problems it really

doesn't seem like

it will be very problematic. Lying on the couch in

agony, not able

to do anything was a big problem…so I am

glad that I made the

decision to go ahead with the surgery.

That is it for now. I will wait to do another

update until after my

visit with Dr Rand on 21September.

[Guest guest]

Cam, I can't speak for everyone who is pre-revision, but I am VERY

interested in your progress. It really does sound like you are doing

excellently.

I did end up postponing my appointment with Dr. Rand until Oct.6, though

Priscilla said she'll call me if a time opens up due to cancellation. I

still haven't heard back from the life insurance company, so I think I made

the right call.

I know what you mean about choosing the most important things to pick up.

If I have shoes on I often will let things lie. Are you able to pick up

things with your toes? I would hate to lose that ability. Normally what I

do is grab the object with my right foot, bring my foot up behind me, and

grab it with my left hand (or sometimes go with my foot directly to a

wastebasket, but I wouldn't expect to be able to do that soon after surgery.

Weird questions, eh?!

I'm glad your recovery is going so well, Cam, and hope you will maintain the

benefits of surgery for a long time.

Sharon

[ ] Just shy of 6 months post-op

I know many of you are not all that interested in my continuing

recovery.but I promised I would keep a log of the first year for

those contemplating surgery, and so I shall keep my promise. I kept

my previous posts on the subject and they are in the files section

if anyone wants to look back.

As I write this I am almost to my 6 month anniversary. It is amazing

that time has passed as quickly as it has the past few months. I

knew that my 6 month check would fall during our family vacation to

Canada, so after checking with Priscilla that is was okay to delay

my check up, I decided to put that off until late September.

If I had to say anything about this last time period it is that I am

sure the fusion is getting pretty solid. There has been a definite

change in how it feels to ride down a bumpy road (which Nantucket is

full of). Where in the past I could feel the jostling in my spine it

seems to have disappeared. Unless I have a long, stressful day at

work my back does not ache at all. The only pain I ever notice is

actually the same kind of muscle tiredness/soreness that pre-dated

revision right below where the lower part of the S curve that still

exists in my spine. The geometry of holding my torso up is still

extra work for my spinal muscles and will be for the rest of my

life. That hasn't changed. Sigh.

I am happy to report that I can easily stand and step into pant or

shorts. Getting into a car and swinging the left leg in still

requires mindfulness on my part.although it has gotten easier. I

still can not fully shave my legs but have found methods that work.

I am committed to pedicures as the solution to foot care for the

remainder of the year..I still cannot reach that far down. There is

still some numbness along the incisions but it seems to be going

away.I notice it mostly on the anterior side.I never much noticed

the posterior incision much.I am guessing there are more nerves on

the front? I think the tingling in my right foot still is improving

so I am hopeful that in time that will disappear too. I believe that

nerve regeneration takes a long time, if it is to happen at all.

There is not much that I am not doing these days that predates

surgery. I have spent a lot of time at the beach and on the boat. I

can get down into a beach chair, although getting up is a little

awkward looking, it can be done. When riding in the boat (an open 20

footer) I stand with my knees slightly flexed to take any of the

impact out of the ride. The bigger houseboat we will be on next week

is on pontoons and is a very soft ride so I am not worried about

that at all. I think the thing that I have to remember the most is

the weight lifting restrictions and how to solve the problems when

there is lifting to be done. I try to pack light beach bags and

grocery bags, but sometimes the only thing to be done is to use good

body mechanics and pick something up.

Speaking of picking things up, I find that I have a new rule in my

head whenever something drops. I look at whatever it is and

carefully consider whether it is worth getting down on my knees and

picking it up (as I usually don't have my grabber at work or other

places). Usually I just leave whatever fell where it is. Sometimes

other shoppers look at me kind of funny..but too bad. This can be

very hard for someone as compulsive as me to do..but I only have so

many " bends " in my knees and hips and I elect to use them another

way! It's bad enough to change the sheets on the bed on your knees;

I know I just can't expect them to take the lifetime of abuse that

is coming to them if I get down on them for every little thing.

The biggest challenge that I met recently was attending a circus

with my family. I bought tickets before I considered that the

seating would be bench seating and require me to sit unsupported for

more than 2 hours. I am happy to report that I did it!!! It was not

the most comfortable thing I have done, but neither was it painful,

I guess it was tiring more than anything. I also noticed plenty of

other people shifting in their seats finding it difficult to be

comfy. It confirms that not everything in our scoli lives is really

so different from the general population.

I guess to sum up the recent months I would have to say that I now

find my back is not the first thing on my mind when I get up in the

morning or move around during the day. As I think Martha remarked at

around 6 months post-op, I have found myself moving up and down the

stairs at a good clip forgetting that I should have a hand on the

rail and be a little more cautious. I agree to do things without

first considering my back. For me, the challenges look like they

will be along the lines of still being able to recruit the husband

and child to help when needed, because I can tell that in their

minds I am healed. And since I partly play into that by doing more

than I should, who can blame them? It is a conundrum.

As some of you know Dianne came visiting last weekend and although

my husband kind of laughed at some of the trouble we both have

backing down into a chair, there don't seem to be many limitations

on our lives. We are a little stiffer than some, we need to have

small pillows in our chairs to be comfy, but generally we are

enjoying fairly active lives. I know many people are nervous about

what fusion to the sacrum looks like in terms of stiffness. Other

than finding ways around a few problems it really doesn't seem like

it will be very problematic. Lying on the couch in agony, not able

to do anything was a big problem.so I am glad that I made the

decision to go ahead with the surgery.

That is it for now. I will wait to do another update until after my

visit with Dr Rand on 21September.

scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

[Guest guest]

Sharon....Thankfully I still have the use of the " toe grabbers "

although you are right...in the early going it wasn't very effective

since I couldn't do much after I had something there. Now I can...but

I still sometimes just decide to let it go...it just doesn't seem

worth the effort.

I think I got the last September date with Rand...I believe he is

going away for some conference so the dates were scarce when I called.

Sounds like since you want to let some time pass re the insurance

early Oct. will be okay for you.

Thanks for your good wishes ..I hope I maintain the benefits for a

long time too...I do try to picture myself as a 75 y.o. getting down

on my knees to pick something up....I will probably let everying stay

where it falls by then! Cam

[Guest guest]

Lori, I am sure your daughter will love helping you pick things up and

of course she is so much closer to the floor!

You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I think

that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt. I think I

mentioned that I have the " Sucessful Surgery CD " ette, Martha and

I used in the weeks leading up to surgery. You can use it as a

relaxation technique or mindful preparation for the surgery. I used it

to drift off to sleep the week prior to surgery rather than lay in bed

and fret. I will be happy to mail it to you if you would like to have

it...just email me privately with your address.

I am glad my updates are helpful to you. Cam

[Guest guest]

Dear Cam,

Quite the opposite of disinterest in your continuing recovery: It is

absolutely a godsend that you are willing to share your recovery

experience with us all. It is not only inspiring, but gives all of us

out here who have yet to experience revision hope for as good a

recovery as yours.

You've worked extremely hard to get where you are...I know from our

email exchanges, and it's encouraging to know that with a combination

of an excellent surgeon, (and, in my opinion, the willingness to do

whatever we can to help ourselves,) we can look forward to a less

painful, more normal existence.

What is especially inspiring is that you no longer have a need to

think about your back 24/7. That mental relief is equally as important

as the physical relief as far as I'm concerned.

Keep healing, M'Dear! And I hope you will find a way to continue the

water workouts when you can. It still is my lifeline in my own recovery.

All the best to you, and PLEASE, PLEASE keep posting your recovery

diary. I can't speak for anyone else, but I certainly look forward to

seeing the progress, and, in a way, depend on it too!

Edie

> I know many of you are not all that interested in my continuing

> recovery…but I promised I would keep a log of the first year for

> those contemplating surgery, and so I shall keep my promise. I kept

> my previous posts on the subject and they are in the files section

> if anyone wants to look back.

>

> As I write this I am almost to my 6 month anniversary. It is amazing

> that time has passed as quickly as it has the past few months. I

> knew that my 6 month check would fall during our family vacation to

> Canada, so after checking with Priscilla that is was okay to delay

> my check up, I decided to put that off until late September.

>

> If I had to say anything about this last time period it is that I am

> sure the fusion is getting pretty solid. There has been a definite

> change in how it feels to ride down a bumpy road (which Nantucket is

> full of). Where in the past I could feel the jostling in my spine it

> seems to have disappeared. Unless I have a long, stressful day at

> work my back does not ache at all. The only pain I ever notice is

> actually the same kind of muscle tiredness/soreness that pre-dated

> revision right below where the lower part of the S curve that still

> exists in my spine. The geometry of holding my torso up is still

> extra work for my spinal muscles and will be for the rest of my

> life. That hasn't changed. Sigh.

>

> I am happy to report that I can easily stand and step into pant or

> shorts. Getting into a car and swinging the left leg in still

> requires mindfulness on my part…although it has gotten easier. I

> still can not fully shave my legs but have found methods that work.

> I am committed to pedicures as the solution to foot care for the

> remainder of the year….I still cannot reach that far down. There is

> still some numbness along the incisions but it seems to be going

> away…I notice it mostly on the anterior side…I never much noticed

> the posterior incision much…I am guessing there are more nerves on

> the front? I think the tingling in my right foot still is improving

> so I am hopeful that in time that will disappear too. I believe that

> nerve regeneration takes a long time, if it is to happen at all.

>

> There is not much that I am not doing these days that predates

> surgery. I have spent a lot of time at the beach and on the boat. I

> can get down into a beach chair, although getting up is a little

> awkward looking, it can be done. When riding in the boat (an open 20

> footer) I stand with my knees slightly flexed to take any of the

> impact out of the ride. The bigger houseboat we will be on next week

> is on pontoons and is a very soft ride so I am not worried about

> that at all. I think the thing that I have to remember the most is

> the weight lifting restrictions and how to solve the problems when

> there is lifting to be done. I try to pack light beach bags and

> grocery bags, but sometimes the only thing to be done is to use good

> body mechanics and pick something up.

>

> Speaking of picking things up, I find that I have a new rule in my

> head whenever something drops. I look at whatever it is and

> carefully consider whether it is worth getting down on my knees and

> picking it up (as I usually don't have my grabber at work or other

> places). Usually I just leave whatever fell where it is. Sometimes

> other shoppers look at me kind of funny….but too bad. This can be

> very hard for someone as compulsive as me to do….but I only have so

> many " bends " in my knees and hips and I elect to use them another

> way! It's bad enough to change the sheets on the bed on your knees;

> I know I just can't expect them to take the lifetime of abuse that

> is coming to them if I get down on them for every little thing.

>

> The biggest challenge that I met recently was attending a circus

> with my family. I bought tickets before I considered that the

> seating would be bench seating and require me to sit unsupported for

> more than 2 hours. I am happy to report that I did it!!! It was not

> the most comfortable thing I have done, but neither was it painful,

> I guess it was tiring more than anything. I also noticed plenty of

> other people shifting in their seats finding it difficult to be

> comfy. It confirms that not everything in our scoli lives is really

> so different from the general population.

>

> I guess to sum up the recent months I would have to say that I now

> find my back is not the first thing on my mind when I get up in the

> morning or move around during the day. As I think Martha remarked at

> around 6 months post-op, I have found myself moving up and down the

> stairs at a good clip forgetting that I should have a hand on the

> rail and be a little more cautious. I agree to do things without

> first considering my back. For me, the challenges look like they

> will be along the lines of still being able to recruit the husband

> and child to help when needed, because I can tell that in their

> minds I am healed. And since I partly play into that by doing more

> than I should, who can blame them? It is a conundrum.

>

> As some of you know Dianne came visiting last weekend and although

> my husband kind of laughed at some of the trouble we both have

> backing down into a chair, there don't seem to be many limitations

> on our lives. We are a little stiffer than some, we need to have

> small pillows in our chairs to be comfy, but generally we are

> enjoying fairly active lives. I know many people are nervous about

> what fusion to the sacrum looks like in terms of stiffness. Other

> than finding ways around a few problems it really doesn't seem like

> it will be very problematic. Lying on the couch in agony, not able

> to do anything was a big problem…so I am glad that I made the

> decision to go ahead with the surgery.

>

> That is it for now. I will wait to do another update until after my

> visit with Dr Rand on 21September.

[Guest guest]

Cam:

One more thing: For the muscle soreness/tiredness you say you feel:

Have you considered, if you don't already have one, a TENS unit? I

have one, and am really enjoying the benefits of it, particularly at

night when my muscles are fatigued. I find mine does provid a decent

amount of relief while it is on, and since there are no adverse

effects and you can leave it on as long as you need to (mine even has

a clip so that I can attach it and walk around with it) you may want

to consider one.

You need a prescription from your doctor for one, but I can't imagine

any doctor objecting to writing one. And my insurance, Aetna, covered

the cost of mine, so now I own it outright.

Just a thought. I certainly have found mine helpful, perhaps others on

this board have different experiences with them. But, as always, all I

can do is add my 2 Abie Lincolns.

Edie

Cam Wrote:

" Unless I have a long, stressful day at

> work my back does not ache at all. The only pain I ever notice is

> actually the same kind of muscle tiredness/soreness that pre-dated

> revision right below where the lower part of the S curve that still

> exists in my spine. The geometry of holding my torso up is still

> extra work for my spinal muscles and will be for the rest of my

> life. That hasn't changed. Sigh. "

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good luck to you, Lorrie!

Sincerely,

Carole M.

[Guest guest]

Edie,

At this point the ache doesn't really rise to the level of needing

anything other than a " lay down " from me. I just have to get flat

for about ten or fifteen minutes and then I can get up and go about

my day.

I am reluctant to do anything at this point that enables me to not

remember I am still healing. I think if I got past the 1-1/2 or 2

year mark and it was interfering with my life I would do something

about it. I notice that it is most problematic when I am doing what

I am not supposed to be doing....leaning forward...which is

impossible not to do at work. This time of the year work can be

pretty stressful..and I notice on the weekends off my muscles don't

ache...so I am hopeful that retiring next June will be just the

ticket!

I will keep the tens in mind for the future though..and for your

kind words, Cam

[Guest guest]

Cam -

Thank you for sharing the update. I am happy that there could be a day when

my back is not constantly on my mind. I finally made it back in the water this

afternoon (took about 10 days off for grieving, I guess) and posts like your

update and all the rest helped to motivate me to get back on track. I am

grateful that you take the time to update all of us even though you are feeling

so much better. I am also grateful that you include details about your back

still

tiring reminding us that we won't really be Wonder Woman after surgery and

that we will still be human. Every detail is significant and someone is going to

need to hear it. I think that is what makes this group so special. We all have

things to share that will benefit someone else.

Without even knowing it, you all have given me the kick in the backside I

needed to get back in the water even though the weather is stormy and I am

feeling extra achy. So, today I shut myself up and just did it.

Thanks to all of you for that!

kam

[Guest guest]

I'd like to add to this that even as someone a lot further

post-revision, I'm finding it an interesting read - it may sound daft

(or plain weird!), but it's been useful, and almost fun, reminisching

with the other half - " oh yes, I remember that stage, do you remember

when I.. " and so on )

titch

--

Something unknown is doing we don't know what

[Guest guest]

Am I unusual in that I have never doubted that it was time to have the

operation? During that time, I could hardly get my back pain out of

my mind.

....

> You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I think

> that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

....

[Guest guest]

Hi ...

While I haven't had revision surgery, when I made the decision to have

my original surgery, I never looked back. I've always told patients

that when the pain gets bad enough, they probably won't have a problem

making the decision. I think there's also something I'll call the

pain/function ratio. I can now limit my pain by giving up some

function. But at some point, the loss of function will probably take

me past the tipping point.

Regards,

> Am I unusual in that I have never doubted that it was time to have the

> operation? During that time, I could hardly get my back pain out of

> my mind.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was like you . Made the decision in the doctor's office and

wanted the surgery yesterday! The day couldn't come fast enough! People

were always saying, I can't believe you have the nerve to go through

anoanother surgery. To be there was no question about it. Theresa

> ...

> > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I

think

> > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

> ...

[Guest guest]

I don't like the comments I have been hearing from people I know

lately. My mom told me that I couldn't have another surgery because

it would be to much on me and would probably kill me. A friend told

me I was crazy to consider another surgery because I already had had

so many. And yet another 'friend' told me I was just having these

surgeries for the attention. I really can't imagine someone going

through something like that just for the attention. It's to bad

that people can't understand that when we loose our quality of life

due to the pain that we need to do whatever it takes to get back

what we can. I turned 29 on my last birthday, have had five

surgeries and I know there are more coming. If I can't get this

pain under control the only other option is praying for an early

death to release myself from this.

A good friend did tell me that he can tell that I am in a lot of

pain again because I am more crabby towards others. That was very

sad for me to hear, I love being around people and pull my positive

energy from those that I am around. To think that I am being crabby

or short with them troubles me.

Sorry for the venting there. Theresa's statement of others telling

her that they can't believe that she had the nerve to go through

another surgery just brought back all of the recent comments I

heard. I am sure I will hear more as I move on to the next step of

my 'full body makeover'. I need to come up with something witty to

tell them when they make their comments. Any ideas would be very

appreciated, I like to make people laugh.

> > ...

> > > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I

> think

> > > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

> > ...

[Guest guest]

THAT is exactly where I am now! I want it yesterday!

kam

> I was like you . Made the decision in the doctor's office and

> wanted the surgery yesterday! The day couldn't come fast enough!

People

> were always saying, I can't believe you have the nerve to go through

> anoanother surgery. To be there was no question about it. Theresa

[Guest guest]

Hi ...

What you always should remember is that people may be saying these

things because they care about you. However, no one can possibly know

what your pain is like, and whether surgery is right for you. If you

know that surgery is the right thing, you need to go for it regardless

of what others think (unless those others are experienced scoliosis

specialists ;-) However, I think it's not a bad exercise to question

one's motives before agreeing to surgery. I have communicated with

people whom I think are surgery addicted, and I've heard surgeons talk

about such patients. I've also met at least one person whom I thought

was having surgery as a way to get some rest. (Thought that one was a

REALLY bad idea. :-)

Regards,

LInda

> I don't like the comments I have been hearing from people I know

> lately. My mom told me that I couldn't have another surgery because

> it would be to much on me and would probably kill me. A friend told

> me I was crazy to consider another surgery because I already had had

> so many. And yet another 'friend' told me I was just having these

> surgeries for the attention. I really can't imagine someone going

> through something like that just for the attention. It's to bad

> that people can't understand that when we loose our quality of life

> due to the pain that we need to do whatever it takes to get back

> what we can. I turned 29 on my last birthday, have had five

> surgeries and I know there are more coming. If I can't get this

> pain under control the only other option is praying for an early

> death to release myself from this.

>

> A good friend did tell me that he can tell that I am in a lot of

> pain again because I am more crabby towards others. That was very

> sad for me to hear, I love being around people and pull my positive

> energy from those that I am around. To think that I am being crabby

> or short with them troubles me.

>

> Sorry for the venting there. Theresa's statement of others telling

> her that they can't believe that she had the nerve to go through

> another surgery just brought back all of the recent comments I

> heard. I am sure I will hear more as I move on to the next step of

> my 'full body makeover'. I need to come up with something witty to

> tell them when they make their comments. Any ideas would be very

> appreciated, I like to make people laugh.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Because of the pain I was already in when I discovered that I had

fixed sagittal imbalance, I was positive right from the start that

surgery was needed. I don't know quite how to describe it, but while

I was always sure I would do it, and like so many others wanted it

done yesterday so I could be on the road to recovery, I was at the

same time so terrified (especially considering what a mess the first

surgery made) that I vacillated like mad between wanting it done and

feeling sure that there was no way that I could put myself through it.

On a tangent regarding surgery addiction, I've been given strong

reason to suspect that in my GP notes from a practice I was briefly

listed with before I had even heard of flatback or started to think

that something really was wrong, I am listed as suffering munchausens

syndrome. This conclusion was reached by the idiot GP on the fact I

had had 2 surgeries (my original scoliosis surgery, and an arthroscopy

of my knee because they thought I had torn cartilage - actually I

didn't, thus he regarded it as something I had somehow forced a

surgery for) and had recently suffered a miscarriage which had

emotionally knocked me for six. The fact I still could not speak of

it 6 months later without crying for some reason led him to think that

I was a headcase. While there are undoubtedly people out there who

are surgery addicted (indeed I am pretty sure I know a couple), any of

us who come to need more than one surgery, for whatever reason, are at

significant risk of being accused of this, which certainly doesnt't

make life any easier. I come from a medical family, and even that

knowledge and experience has not stopped some members from slinging

that accusation at me as a measure of their stress and fears for me

undergoing surgery.

titch

--

Something unknown is doing we don't know what

[Guest guest]

and All,

Notice that I said you will have 100 changes of heart....not mind. I

don't think I ever changed my mind...but as Titch said, I think it is

well within the scope of this surgery to reflect on the enormity of

the surgery and the chance that you will trade one pain for another,

all the while putting your family (and your body) through hell.

I know I learned to " compartmentalize " (quite nicely, thank you very

much early HR surgery!)my life...there was my " logical " mind that said

that surgery was the clear option...the pain/gain ratio was a winner.

My " heart " , in the dark of the night, often questioned the chance that

I could leave my child motherless or more debilitated than I was. I

followed my logical self to surgery, and am now glad I did.

My trouble in balancing the equation came from having learned in my

later years that my " logical " self can get me in trouble....sometimes

heart and intuition should rule the day. (So , I don't think you

are unusual, although I do think that men generally tend to operate

more out of their more " logical " brains.)

In the case of pending surgery, I don't believe there is a " one size

fits all " answer. I wish it was easier.

Thats my 2 pesos, Cam

> ...

> > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I

think

> > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

> ...

[Guest guest]

Hey , Whenever people said negative things to be I just told

them, that I want to be able to live a long and full life. If it

takes these surgeries to do it, then that is what I'm going to do.

Then I would tell them, If they were living with pain 24/7 they

would probably do the same thing. If it takes a few years of

surgeries and recovery to add years of enjoyment to my life, that's

what I'm going to do. Sorry to hear that you have so many negative

folks around you. I did tell one person at work last year that I

would gladly switch bodies with her for 24 hours and she shut up

after that. People can be so negative about surgeries when it's not

them living with the pain. Hope you find some more positive people

to be around. I also found it helps to talk it out with people that

you are not real close to. They tend to just listen and not make

negative comments. Theresa

> > > ...

> > > > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November.

I

> > think

> > > > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

> > > ...

[Guest guest]

Hi, !

I'm so sorry people are saying these things to you. We all know

surgery is not something we go into lightly, even when we are

desperate. I know the feeling of getting the pain under control or

praying for an early death. I wish I hadn't been in that place, and

certainly more than once. But like another poster said, I do want to

live a long AND HEALTHY and relatively pain-free life, so I know I

will have the surgery when I have exhausted other options. I think

it will be my best chance. But like said, I'm still working

with the pain/function ratio, so I'm not a surgical candidate yet.

People close to me know when I'm in pain too - the crabbiness

increases. and i'm not a crabby person, usually, and love to be

around people too - get my energy especially from teenagers.

Hang in there, ! We're all with you!

Deb M.

(also 29)

> > > ...

> > > > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November.

I

> > think

> > > > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

> > > ...

[Guest guest]

Titch,

I suspect, from what I " know " of you, that you are able to discern

boneheads from logical, rational individuals. It's sad that there

are those individuals who jump to irrational conclusions!

When I was 9 and began to complain that it was painful to sit on the

floor during assemblies in school, some of the teachers suspected

that I just wanted special treatment. Mom took me to a doctor who

ordered x-rays of my bum and decided I just had a bruised tailbone.

For whatever reason, they did not notice the curve on the x-rays.

So, they prescribed a doughnut pillow for me to carry around and sit

on for six weeks. When that didn't fix me, a doctor told my mother

that he thought I just needed attention and was " acting out " to get

it. About nine months later after six months in a Milwaukee brace, I

had surgery to correct my 51 degree lumbar curve and prevent my

vertabrae from wedging. My current PCP, God bless her, told me a few

months ago that I should definitely trust my instincts when it comes

to what is going on with my body. That's why I went to see Dr.

Bridwell and am so grateful that there is hope. It is pretty

miserable to consider that you may have to " just learn to live with "

debilitating chronic pain.

kam

[Guest guest]

Great way to put it, . The function thing is the kicker. Something a

lot of doctors just don't seem to " get " .

[ ] Re: Just shy of 6 months post-op

> Hi ...

>

> While I haven't had revision surgery, when I made the decision to have

> my original surgery, I never looked back. I've always told patients

> that when the pain gets bad enough, they probably won't have a problem

> making the decision. I think there's also something I'll call the

> pain/function ratio. I can now limit my pain by giving up some

> function. But at some point, the loss of function will probably take

> me past the tipping point.

>

> Regards,

>

>

>

>> Am I unusual in that I have never doubted that it was time to have the

>> operation? During that time, I could hardly get my back pain out of

>> my mind.

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

>

[Guest guest]

Theresa, what was it that made you so sure? Was it pain?

The reason I ask is that I don't think I could be that anxious for surgery

unless I were in unremitting pain.

And yet, there is still that nagging question, if I wait until I am in that

kind of pain, will it be too late to get to the pain-free state?

Sharon

[ ] Re: Just shy of 6 months post-op

>I was like you . Made the decision in the doctor's office and

> wanted the surgery yesterday! The day couldn't come fast enough! People

> were always saying, I can't believe you have the nerve to go through

> anoanother surgery. To be there was no question about it. Theresa

>

>

>

>> ...

>> > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I

> think

>> > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

>> ...

>

>

>

>

>

> scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

>

[Guest guest]

Having surgery to get some rest? I wonder what surgery that would

be because I have never been able to get any decent rest following

surgery due to pain, discomfort and anything else that comes along.

I couldn't imagine being addicted to surgery, do you think that

these people like pain? Or is the attention side of it? That is

scary to think that people would have surgery just because. But

then again, I have watched that show Extreme Makeover and I have to

wonder what those people are thinking. I can't even stand to watch

it anymore, following my revision surgery I feel the pain for them

and it makes me sick to my stomach.

> > I don't like the comments I have been hearing from people I know

> > lately. My mom told me that I couldn't have another surgery

because

> > it would be to much on me and would probably kill me. A friend

told

> > me I was crazy to consider another surgery because I already had

had

> > so many. And yet another 'friend' told me I was just having

these

> > surgeries for the attention. I really can't imagine someone

going

> > through something like that just for the attention. It's to bad

> > that people can't understand that when we loose our quality of

life

> > due to the pain that we need to do whatever it takes to get back

> > what we can. I turned 29 on my last birthday, have had five

> > surgeries and I know there are more coming. If I can't get this

> > pain under control the only other option is praying for an early

> > death to release myself from this.

> >

> > A good friend did tell me that he can tell that I am in a lot of

> > pain again because I am more crabby towards others. That was

very

> > sad for me to hear, I love being around people and pull my

positive

> > energy from those that I am around. To think that I am being

crabby

> > or short with them troubles me.

> >

> > Sorry for the venting there. Theresa's statement of others

telling

> > her that they can't believe that she had the nerve to go through

> > another surgery just brought back all of the recent comments I

> > heard. I am sure I will hear more as I move on to the next step

of

> > my 'full body makeover'. I need to come up with something witty

to

> > tell them when they make their comments. Any ideas would be

very

> > appreciated, I like to make people laugh.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I had so many things to take care of ahead of time with working full

time and being a single mom that I didn't really have much time to

think about what was going to happen. The day that I had to drop my

daughter off at school and then head out for the four hour car trip

to the hospital I just broke down and starting crying, right there

in the middle of her classroom in front of all of her classmates.

The teacher walked me out of the room and gave me a great big hug

and promised me that she would take good care of my little girl. I

walked out of there in a puddle and my daughter was forever

embarassed. hee, hee

> > ...

> > > You will have 100 changes of heart between now and November. I

> think

> > > that is normal. The closer it gets the more you will doubt.

> > ...