Guest guest Posted September 18, 2000 Report Share Posted September 18, 2000 In a message dated 9/17/00 9:37:28 PM Mountain Daylight Time, galye@... writes: > I almost died from not > breathing during my surgery and I lost 45% of my lung function and I hate > that ventilator. Good incentive to keep me on the right path. Gayle, Dr. Everson was shocked when I told him I still smoke. He can't believe after I had ARDS and almost croaked that I would smoke. Oh wail... Take Care, Castle Rock Kid (Dianne) AIH/PSC/Lupus/Sjogren's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2000 Report Share Posted September 18, 2000 Dianne, It's useless to try to quit smoking unless you seriously want to quit. My Dad had asbestosis and lost a lung because of it, but it didn't occur to him to quit smoking. I think he felt he'd lost everything already, and after a lifetime of alcoholism, towards the end he couldn't even drink - but he kept a pack of cigarettes and an ashtray next to his oxygen tank. Luckily, he always turned it off before he lit a cigarette. How do you tell a man who knows he's going to die soon that smoking isn't good for him? And, it would take a major league jerk to tell him - while he's at death's door - that smoking probably aggravated his problems. My father-in-law tried to prevent my mother-in-law from smoking during the last weeks before she died from lung cancer. She knew she would die very soon and what difference did it make at that point in her life? I must get grim when the subject comes up about my smoking, since no doctor yet has tried to convert me. I guess I'm a total hard head. Take care, Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2000 Report Share Posted September 18, 2000 Dianne, Yes transplant gets pretty hyper when you tell them you smoke. In fact the idiots still try to accuse me of smoking as they did in my year end evaluation. Letter of course. Did you get a newsletter telling about the letter system I do believe that will end up being a flaw somewhere. They have already screwed up on my letters when they should have called me. I don't think we will ever get along. gayle/trans.6-99 galye@... ^0^ ` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2000 Report Share Posted September 18, 2000 Jerry, In my case I have bad asthma and I smoked my heart out before. I also took rescue inhalers, neb treatments, primatene pills and inhalers. I suffered pneumonia for three months before surgery and after. They had to suction my lungs every day for 2 weeks and we think that when I was put on the ventilator they did some damage to my lungs besides the damage I did to myself. My ox level is never very high a year later. And they have that I have a disorder where my body won't exchange oxygen the way it should can't remember the name. I still have an oxygen tank at home I have tried to send back and the doctors refuse to let me. This was a great cure all for me. gayle/trans.6-99 galye@... ^0^ ` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2000 Report Share Posted September 18, 2000 Gayle, when I was evaluated for transplant I smoked 2 packs a day and my doctors and transplant team never pushed me to stop.I continued post transplant and even now though I still rarely smoke cigs. , I still smoke 5-6 cigars a day and not one of my doctors make any big fuss in fact it isn`t mentioned even though its been 5 yrs since my trans plant. Even more incredible is the fact that on the 4th or 5th day after transplant I asked a nurse where I could sneak a cigarette , she told me and even gave me a couple of her own smokes to go there== off I went pushing my I.V. and returned with a pack and half of cigarettes and a lighter some of the others there had given me.I probably was the only patient there at any one time in this secret room smoking with staff and visitors. This all within 4-5 days of my operation. I was released 10 days after my transplant and was smoking in the hospital any time I could get off floor. I`m not saying this is o.k. or that I`m something special it`s just my story. jerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2000 Report Share Posted September 19, 2000 Gayle, thats horrible! I didn`t mean to make light of this smoking issue- I gotten to point where a lot of things just aren`t that important to me any more. If my cancer. AiH,or the possibilty of rejrction don`t kill me, then lung cancer or emphasyma may, but then again I could get killed by a drunken driver ( which would be the most poetic) In any case I`m not morbid I`m at some ease with my own mortality and realizing how real it is I choose not to dwell any more on it I`m alive right NOW and thats what counts not whats going to happen next year, next month, or next week Worrying over it won`t change a thing . I was only telling what happened to me- perhaps I`m God`s favorite . The chances of all the horrible things associated wih smoking happening are increased with each successive puff---- and you don`t have to be even the littlest bit of smart to know that. (In fairness to SJ--- she DIDN`T call anyone who smoked stupid... she merely QUOTED an article which said those who think it`s NOT harmful are stupid-- to which I agree) We make our own choices and they don`t have be a measure of your intelligence.Your current choice is HEAVILY influenced because the consequences are RIGHT there slapping you in the face Unfortunately unless we suffer IMMEDIATE consequences , we as humans don`t always make the right choice in time. I dated a woman once whos son had severe asthma attacks and my own mother (85) has emphasyma I seen the horrible panic that comes over one when they can`t breathe . Its a very frightening experience. MY heart decidedly goes out to you and you are definitely in my prayers Be good to yourself.-(keep fighting the good fight.) love jerry ( this is one of my stories that are in the category of " do as I say , not as I do " my kids jussttt love those kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2000 Report Share Posted September 19, 2000 Jerry, I never took it in a negative way. This was my story I guess for comparison what people choose is fine for them. I miss smoking and probably always will. I stopped smoking once before for 3 years and couldn't take it. I am not saying this person or that is bad for what they do. Just sharing. gayle/trans.6-99 galye@... ^0^ ` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 Gayle, just wanted to thank you for acknowledgeing my exsistence from time to time. With Geri gone I was wondering whether any body even paid attention to any thing I sent. Sorry I don`t fit in. This is`nt self pity, as I could care less than you know, but it amazes me how some-what..... Ohh ,how I should I put this ??..... " girlish " we are. I guess I joined the wrong group. I am geneticaly unable to " kaffe klatche " . Makes a good case for the attributes of " profiling " -- your doing your gender proud. Too bad `cause I may have had much to contribute. jerry---AIH - post-transplant (`95) - multiple myeloma - alcoholic - widower (wife died from cirrhosis `89 I miss her every day as do the 4 daughters I tried to raise by myself) - B,S, (anatomy Ohio State -`66 - M.B.A. ( U.of Akron-69) - proud grandfather - eater of many chicken fried steaks - 40 year smoker( and joker and toker)(not a complete stranger to occasional recreational drug - not afraid of any candy - SSI and medicaid receipient - one time welfare receipient - tiger woods wannabe, - lover of laughter,lover of life,lover of love ,a (at one time) good lover,loved by my kids,lover of manknd,and especially womenkind,lover of all creatures,lover of God . -a good friend loyal honest trustworthy---(trusting to a fault) - dreamer, schemer - electrical contractor - former manufacturer of potato chips -have a sister in Denver, a brother (attorney) in Baltimore,a girfriend in San Bernadino, my wife was born and raised in the Quad-cites, I` ve been to Las Vegas more than once and Florida too, I live simbiotically with my 85 year old mother who has had a quad-bypass, drives her own car ,plays poker twice week,tends he garden, never misses church (I never go) and insists on cooking for me daily and if I don`t stop her continues to do my laundry.she and I are both good friends with my 1st wife who visits regularly. - would love to see Seattle and Ireland ( my father`s heritage) we own a cat (my wife and I and the girls once had 26 and were known as " the cat people " in the neighbor hood - I own a jeep cherokee ltd and an 85 linc. town car. - drank martinis in country clubs and shots in dives - I have friends who are CEOs and some who are bikers - have been in jail - do some public speaking - am still cute enough to have young girls and women find me attractive and most of my friends are women - am open minded and decidedly unjudgemental I work daily on any predjudice I may have ( there is not much) -at 58 have all my hair with no gray. - i am not looking forward the weight gains you predict but choose not to dwell - its not that important theres plenty more but who would know? too much time spent on smoking vs. non-smoking, food,and low fat receipes (try checking out an over-eaters anonymous web site) - well it`s been an educational week didn`t learn as much about AIH as I had hoped , but my perceptions of human behavior has been borne out. Some people have to get over themselves Did you ever read the obits and see where someone has passed after a LONG, COURAGEOUS battle with cancer? what`s up with that? Don`t those chicken-shits who wimped-out rate an obit? or didn`t any of them die? The truth is we all die , You don`t have to want to and its alright to be afraid. It`s not about how well you die but how well you live. as the laplanders say ..ciao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 Jerry, I am very sorry you are feeling this way. None is intended to how you are feeling. the people here goes in spurts where they are very talkative about a subject then at times no one will really address anything. I know you are under the impression that some are singled out but it is not really. One way to get going in this group is to address many of the people here, ask them questions things you see that relate to your concerns. You will get responses. They also react to shorter letters, short attention spans you know. Allow yourself to meet these people. We are not all women we do have men here. They don't talk as much and I hope that someday that will change. We are all here under one common bond we are all sick. Doesn't help when we stake a claim as I felt happening in Geri's case. We support each other No one has more power than another however at times it looks that way. I am sorry you joined at the time you did to see this display that was uncalled for. Never take things personally. What happened to Geri I believe was self generated as I think she is going into the last stage of liver failure. Please try not to be judgmental and give us a try. We are here to support each other. gayle/trans.6-99 galye@... ^0^ ` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 Jerry, I'm here too. lydia 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 Jerry, Thankyou. Now join in. gayle/trans.6-99 galye@... ^0^ ` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 thanks gayle, that`s more what i wanted hear. i was feeling left out.being new to the disease i haven`t been able to formulate questions yet. i guess i was trying to shout--- hey, you welcomed me , now talk to me. i have the same problems as you but i wanted a common outside ground. i know how great support groups can be. jerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 A heart felt thanks... jerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 Jerry, You do not need to explain your actions. That is called justification. You have to reach out and you were not. Only to one person of whom could not handle herself what timing hon. You are trying to hard. Relax. I myself am not alcoholic but had first hand lessons that damned near destroyed me. gayle/trans.6-99 galye@... ^0^ ` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2000 Report Share Posted September 20, 2000 Gayle, I`ve been honest with myself for 7 .years ---its progress not perfection. Being alcoholic is about being self-centered... I`ve taken my OWN inventory and the truth was I was angry with the GROUP not my disease --in my mind I was being ignored. An alcoholic needs attention because his self esteem is low and his ego is overblown to compensate. I was building a resentment which if you know the program spells death to our sobriety. So I`m taking this opportunity to invoke the 10th step and promptly admit I was wrong. As far as being angry with my disease, please believe me when I say I EASILY accept that which I have no control and am FAR more serene than it would appear. I feel guilty actually that I`m alive .. Each day since Oct. 19, `95 is an undeserved gift. So multiple myeloma and AIH, are just ways of compensating that gullt. My problem may be that I`m not actually clinging to life as I may have once done and death is not something I fear or dwell on. I would like to blame my behavior on insomnia and those real early hours I was awake and lonely and none of you were listening to me. I`d like to blame it on the prednisone-----so I will. No the truth is I REALLY WAS mad at you guys. Upon taking my daily inventory I see i was wrong and I`m sorry. moving on into the present jerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 Gayle Youve got to stop analyzing me . I`m not trying to justify any thing I`ve offered my apologies all they need is acceptance or no .Don`t try to try to undestand the alcoholic mind, no matter how much you been affected you just aint` one . join alanon. Thats why A.A. started one ALCOHOLIC helping another . Other outsiders seldom can help . I know earth people don`t understand but I forgot . I`ve learned much in the last seven years about myself and you don`t know me at all . I live each day trying to improve on my self. I`m trying to be nice and fit in with this group (to which I do qualify) Don`t meddle with one you have no understanding of.Millions of peoples life have been saved working the suggested steps of alcoholics anonymous . Read the big book , go to meetings. study the steps fellowship with other drunks and you still wouldn`t have a clue . My mother is affected by my m.m. and aih as well as my alcholism as are my children they`ve lived thier whole lives with me and still wouldn`t be able to analyze me., nor undestand. cause they dont got them.YOU MUST believe me when I tell you I don`t give a rats hairy behind whether my words or actions are accepted by you or not ..What other people think of me is none of my business. I`ve offered up mea culpas in the best manner I`m able to at this time. I`m far from a weak person and don`t grovel. Take my apologies or leave them. I speak my mind and don`t have to say I`m sorry much any more. Do as has been suggested play nice, Get off my case ( its in your rules) Take care of YOURSELF move on... heard any good dirty jokes lately? poor little jerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 Jerry, Prednisone rage...I can relate to that! Before I started taking Paxil, my wife and kids would never know when I would snap at them. Don Terradon Unlimited www.TerradonUnlimited.com "People who ask me how we can still have such a positive attitude after all we’ve been through, have it all wrong…We’ve been able to get through all that we have BECAUSE we have a positive attitude". Don Hanson 8/2000 I`d like to blame it on the prednisone-----so I will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 I sure picked a bad week to give up Zoloft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 <grin> yep...you sure did! <ggg> Don Terradon Unlimited www.TerradonUnlimited.com "People who ask me how we can still have such a positive attitude after all we’ve been through, have it all wrong…We’ve been able to get through all that we have BECAUSE we have a positive attitude". Don Hanson 8/2000 -----Original Message-----From: gefox@... [mailto:gefox@...]Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2000 7:35 AM egroupsCc: egroupsSubject: RE: [ ] Gayle - smoking I sure picked a bad week to give up Zoloft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2000 Report Share Posted September 23, 2000 I have a problem with one or two word response because there is a lot of time and many messages before the short answer and I dont know what it is about. Shireen >From: " Don Hanson " <donhanson@...> >Reply- egroups >< egroups> >Subject: RE: [ ] Gayle - smoking >Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 07:43:28 -0500 >MIME-Version: 1.0 >Received: from [208.50.144.75] by hotmail.com (3.2) with ESMTP id >MHotMailBB934CDA00B840042A11D032904B6042316; Thu Sep 21 05:45:54 2000 >Received: from [10.1.10.37] by ej. with NNFMP; 21 Sep 2000 >12:44:45 -0000 >Received: (EGP: mail-6_0_2); 21 Sep 2000 12:44:36 -0000 >Received: (qmail 22041 invoked from network); 21 Sep 2000 12:44:36 -0000 >Received: from unknown (10.1.10.26) by m3.onelist.org with QMQP; 21 Sep >2000 12:44:36 -0000 >Received: from unknown (HELO mnmai05.mn.mediaone.net) (24.131.1.59) by mta1 >with SMTP; 21 Sep 2000 12:44:36 -0000 >Received: from Den1 (nic-31-c22-060.mn.mediaone.net [24.31.22.60]) by >mnmai05.mn.mediaone.net (8.8.7/8.8.7) with SMTP id IAA01800 for >< egroups>; Thu, 21 Sep 2000 08:43:27 -0400 (EDT) >From sentto-165537-22287-969540276-shireen42 Thu Sep 21 05:48:50 2000 >X-eGroups-Return: >sentto-165537-22287-969540276-shireen42=hotmail.comreturns (DOT) onelist.com >X-Sender: donhanson@... >X-Apparently- egroups >Message-ID: <CFEHLDIENDKFEIHJOBAJOECJDHAA.donhanson@...> >X-Priority: 3 (Normal) >X-MSMail-Priority: Normal >X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook IMO, Build 9.0.2416 (9.0.2911.0) >X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.50.4133.2400 >In-Reply-<13282-39CA005B-1779@...> >Importance: Normal >Mailing-List: list egroups; contact > -owneregroups >Delivered-mailing list egroups >Precedence: bulk >List-Unsubscribe: <mailto: -unsubscribeegroups> > ><grin> yep...you sure did! <ggg> > >Don >Terradon Unlimited >www.TerradonUnlimited.com > " People who ask me how we can still have such a positive attitude after all >we've been through, have it all wrong.We've been able to get through all >that we have BECAUSE we have a positive attitude " . Don Hanson 8/2000 > RE: [ ] Gayle - smoking > > > > > My Groups | Main Page | Start a new group! > > > I sure picked a bad week to give up Zoloft. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2000 Report Share Posted September 23, 2000 Shireen.... sorry,, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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