Re: How to handle missing work so much?????

[Guest guest]

Toni,

Why are you missing work?

Sheryl Illustrations

http://dovedesignsrus.com/

[Guest guest]

Because I am sick.

>

> Toni,

>

> Why are you missing work?

>

>

> Sheryl Illustrations

> http://dovedesignsrus.com/

>

>

[Guest guest]

Fair, I can take it. The reason I posted here was because this

morning, I was looking at missing the third day in a row from work.

I seem to catch everyhing that those around me have. I went on a

trip to Ohio a couple weeks ago and got sick with the flue from

that week and missed a couple days on top of my week's vacation.

My job is relativly new and the day that I found a doctor to work

with me is when the call came for the job. I love the job and

knowing I had already had a vacation to meet my boyfriends parents

stressed me out. I never wanted to miss any work because of it. I

have yet to go and take any of the tests he has scheduled.

No doubt you guys were looking for some background on me but is it

really necessary to be so hard on people. I would expect that on my

motorcycle sites but this is where there is real pain physical,

emotional, etc. No one can beat me up more than I do myself. I have

never missed work in my life. I love life, riding my motorcycle,

work, my boyfriend, my pets, my family.

I did not mention disability. My question is how do you handle

missing work? Has anyone here ever missed work? Do you really need

to know my exact background to answer this question?

Toni

I guess what they are

trying to ask you, is what

> elements of Thyroid are making you from staying at

> home.....Perhaps you have other problems we are not

> aware of. There are only 2 people I know that have

> disability or get disability due to their thyroid

> disease.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't want disability. I have just been sick a lot lately and I

have missed work. I was wondering if anyone here had missed work and

how do they deal with it.

Toni

>

> Because I am sick.

>

> Toni,

>

> I don't know where you live, but are you sick enough to get

disability?

>

>

>

>

> Sheryl Illustrations

> http://dovedesignsrus.com/

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, have I been in your shoes!!! Back in 2000 I started having horrible

pelvic pain from PCOS, muscle pain, fatigue and everything else that

goes along with hypothyroidism and I had also just been diagnosed with

Fibromyalgia. I had just given up a wonderful job as an operations

manager for a computer training company where I was making great money.

I thought that my fatigue and other problems were related to my two

hour, very stressful commute every day (and I was working at least 10

hours a day). I knew I was hypo, but didn't realize how horrible it can

be at that point. I took a job in my hometown making almost half my old

salary and had no seniority whatsoever. I was still falling asleep at

my desk by 1pm every day. It was almost as hard to get up every

morning. I missed an average of one day a week during the six months

that I worked there. At the time I was undergoing a lot of tests to try

and figure out exactly what was wrong with me so I went to my boss who

was the President of the company and explained my situation. He put on

a concerned face, told me that we would work something out and sent me

to the HR manager. The HR manager suggested that I start my own

consulting business so I could set my own hours and work only when I

wanted to work. I asked if I could shorten my days by two hours and

work only 30 hours a week until they found " a cure " for whatever my

problem happened to be. They told me that I was hired for 40 hour a

week job and that was my only option (I sat around bored 95% of the time

because I didn't have enough work to keep me busy.). It was suggested

during that meeting that I might be fired if I continued to miss work.

It was also suggested that I apply for disability. I looked over the

disability option, but you have to have concrete proof of an illness

that will keep you from performing your job. I didn't fit that

description because, first of all, they weren't sure what was wrong with

me, and second, I was able to do my job, I just needed to make some

adjustments, but they weren't willing to budge. I was so stressed out

over the situation that I just went home that night and wrote out my

resignation. I knew I'd have to miss more work and didn't want to ever

have to tell someone that I'd been fired from a previous job. I filed

for unemployment because an attorney friend said that I might be able to

appeal and collect unemployment due to the fact that they insinuated

that I'd be fired if I didn't go ahead and quit, blah, blah. They

fought me with all they had, said that they never once mentioned that

I'd lose my job and that they " even offered to make arrangements " so

that I could go to my doctor's appts when necessary. They lied through

their teeth and they won! I learned a lot from that experience, though.

First of all, tell your employer about your illness NOW! Print out info

on it, if necessary, so that they understand what you're up against.

Tell them that you are seeking treatment so that you won't have to miss

work in the future. They might require you to get a doctor's statement

about your illness. If so, do it! If they tell you to apply for

disability, do it even though you'll most likely be denied. Ask for

fewer hours if you think it might help. Document in detail every

conversation you have with them about your illness/absences. Make sure

you have dates, names, everything! If they won't help you out at all

then just go on about your business. Miss work if you need to, just let

them know why and if they make a big deal then offer to get a doctor's

note. Many companies will try to force you to quit. Don't do it

because it greatly decreases your chances of collecting unemployment

insurance. Since then, I have spoken to people who have experienced

similar situations where their employers completely disregarded their

documented illness, as well as the fact that they were seeking

treatment/diagnosis for their problems and they were fired for absences,

though they offered medical notes and explanations. Many of those

people filed lawsuits against the employer and won. Technically, it

doesn't qualify as a disability, but it was close enough to convince a

judge. And now that I've written a book on the topic!!! I just have to

ask, why are you missing work? Is it the fatigue? If so, are you

working on getting your meds adjusted? Thyroid problems are usually

very treatable so employers would probably only be expected to make

concessions long enough for you to find the right dosage of the right

meds. Other problems, such as fibromyalgia (which many people with hypo

also have), don't give in to meds as easily. Most people just have to

learn to adjust their lives around the illness. Employers would be

expected to be much more flexible in a situation like that.

Either way, I hope you work it out. I definitely know how humiliating

and stressful it can be to have to call in and tell someone that you're

going to have to miss work AGAIN and listen to the condescending tone on

the other end of the phone. Hang in there! Believe it or not, the laws

are usually on our side with this one.

How to handle missing work so much?????

I am so distressed about this. I find it even hard to talk about

it. I feel like a looser.

Toni

[Guest guest]

Thank you for telling me your story, it helps me so much to hear

this. I especially appreciate your different options that can

empower me in the workplace.

Toni

> In a message dated 3/10/2003 4:55:49 PM Pacific Standard Time,

> toni_lee_f@y... writes:

>

>

> > My question is how do you handle

> > missing work? Has anyone here ever missed work?

> >

>

> Dear Toni,

>

> Yup. I missed a lot when I was very ill yet didn't know what type

of illness

> I had. That was back when I was working as a secretary to a large

plumbing

> fixtures manufacturer. I was allowed only five sick days per year

and five

> vacation days. I would often drag in there feeling totally crummy

just to

> preserve my sick days for when I was out-and-out bedridden. I

truly don't

> know how much good I did at my desk on those days. I didn't enjoy

the job

> and I realized the place was sucking the life out of me so I

started trying

> to find the feeling of what it would be like to do something else.

>

> I soon got the idea to train for another career. Going to night

school for

> three months, even though it seemed like expending the extra energy

would be

> more of a drain on me than I could stand, actually helped me feel

better. I

> did get sick and graduated a month late, but then I was able to

quit my job

> and become self employed. It was a relief for me to be able to

set my own

> hours and, if necessary, be able to call my clients and cancel for

the day if

> I was feeling really bad. Fortunately, we didn't need for me to

make huge

> amounts of income at first. So, I was able to grow my business at

a

> reasonable pace while also having flex time to check out new

treatments or

> doctors. It's paid off for me. My health has improved as has my

intuition

> and sense of wholeness. I found a holistic doctor last year who

diagnosed

> 's Thyroid Syndrome and began treatment for that. Since I've

been on

> the WT3, my life has improved about 150% so now I miss very little

work.

>

> Is there a way you can negotiate with your employer for more

flexible hours?

> Or an understanding with him/her to work as your health allows? Or

can you

> turn this job into a tele-commute so you don't have the stress of

showing up

> in the office? Can you do it as a consultant so you can work your

duties

> around your bad days, putting in extra time on your good days? Can

you apply

> at another company for the same job where you might have more

flexibility and

> more pay or more comp time?

>

> Good luck,

> in LA

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this post.

> Toni,

> Don't apologies for an obvious answer to a simple question.That is

the

> thing about e-mail,there are no voice inflictions.A post can be

read a

> million different ways and some people read negativity into them.I

don't

> believe you were being mean or rude,just a couple of members misread

> your intent.I had the same problem with not being able to work when

I

> was first diagnosed and put on just Synthroid.It was

horrible....You are

> not alone and I am sure most of the members in here remember at

sometime

> during their struggle to feel better,days when they couldn't make

it to

> work either.Please feel free to ask any questions.

> Deneen:)

[Guest guest]

GREAT INFORMATION!!! Thank you very much!!! Thanks so much for

sharing your story, I feel stronger to face the day tomorrow the more

I read.

Toni

> Oh, have I been in your shoes!!! Back in 2000 I started having

horrible

> pelvic pain from PCOS, muscle pain, fatigue and everything else that

> goes along with hypothyroidism and I had also just been diagnosed

with

> Fibromyalgia. I had just given up a wonderful job as an operations

> manager for a computer training company where I was making great

money.

> I thought that my fatigue and other problems were related to my two

> hour, very stressful commute every day (and I was working at least

10

> hours a day). I knew I was hypo, but didn't realize how horrible

it can

> be at that point. I took a job in my hometown making almost half

my old

> salary and had no seniority whatsoever. I was still falling

asleep at

> my desk by 1pm every day. It was almost as hard to get up every

> morning. I missed an average of one day a week during the six

months

> that I worked there. At the time I was undergoing a lot of tests

to try

> and figure out exactly what was wrong with me so I went to my boss

who

> was the President of the company and explained my situation. He

put on

> a concerned face, told me that we would work something out and sent

me

> to the HR manager. The HR manager suggested that I start my own

> consulting business so I could set my own hours and work only when I

> wanted to work. I asked if I could shorten my days by two hours and

> work only 30 hours a week until they found " a cure " for whatever my

> problem happened to be. They told me that I was hired for 40 hour a

> week job and that was my only option (I sat around bored 95% of the

time

> because I didn't have enough work to keep me busy.). It was

suggested

> during that meeting that I might be fired if I continued to miss

work.

> It was also suggested that I apply for disability. I looked over

the

> disability option, but you have to have concrete proof of an illness

> that will keep you from performing your job. I didn't fit that

> description because, first of all, they weren't sure what was wrong

with

> me, and second, I was able to do my job, I just needed to make some

> adjustments, but they weren't willing to budge. I was so stressed

out

> over the situation that I just went home that night and wrote out my

> resignation. I knew I'd have to miss more work and didn't want to

ever

> have to tell someone that I'd been fired from a previous job. I

filed

> for unemployment because an attorney friend said that I might be

able to

> appeal and collect unemployment due to the fact that they insinuated

> that I'd be fired if I didn't go ahead and quit, blah, blah. They

> fought me with all they had, said that they never once mentioned

that

> I'd lose my job and that they " even offered to make arrangements " so

> that I could go to my doctor's appts when necessary. They lied

through

> their teeth and they won! I learned a lot from that experience,

though.

>

>

>

>

> First of all, tell your employer about your illness NOW! Print out

info

> on it, if necessary, so that they understand what you're up against.

> Tell them that you are seeking treatment so that you won't have to

miss

> work in the future. They might require you to get a doctor's

statement

> about your illness. If so, do it! If they tell you to apply for

> disability, do it even though you'll most likely be denied. Ask for

> fewer hours if you think it might help. Document in detail every

> conversation you have with them about your illness/absences. Make

sure

> you have dates, names, everything! If they won't help you out at

all

> then just go on about your business. Miss work if you need to,

just let

> them know why and if they make a big deal then offer to get a

doctor's

> note. Many companies will try to force you to quit. Don't do it

> because it greatly decreases your chances of collecting unemployment

> insurance. Since then, I have spoken to people who have experienced

> similar situations where their employers completely disregarded

their

> documented illness, as well as the fact that they were seeking

> treatment/diagnosis for their problems and they were fired for

absences,

> though they offered medical notes and explanations. Many of those

> people filed lawsuits against the employer and won. Technically, it

> doesn't qualify as a disability, but it was close enough to

convince a

> judge. And now that I've written a book on the topic!!! I just

have to

> ask, why are you missing work? Is it the fatigue? If so, are you

> working on getting your meds adjusted? Thyroid problems are usually

> very treatable so employers would probably only be expected to make

> concessions long enough for you to find the right dosage of the

right

> meds. Other problems, such as fibromyalgia (which many people with

hypo

> also have), don't give in to meds as easily. Most people just have

to

> learn to adjust their lives around the illness. Employers would be

> expected to be much more flexible in a situation like that.

>

>

>

> Either way, I hope you work it out. I definitely know how

humiliating

> and stressful it can be to have to call in and tell someone that

you're

> going to have to miss work AGAIN and listen to the condescending

tone on

> the other end of the phone. Hang in there! Believe it or not, the

laws

> are usually on our side with this one.

>

>

>

> How to handle missing work so much?????

>

>

>

> I am so distressed about this. I find it even hard to talk about

> it. I feel like a looser.

>

> Toni

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

And another thanks! This is EXACTLY what has perplexed me the most

with regards to the people closest to me. Some days I feel terrible

and can't give a clear reason why. I feel as if people doubt me all

of the sudden. I see their thoughts as they question me, I feel so

humiliated and start to question myself.

Thanks for acknowleding me.

Toni

> I don't understand why a few of you feel that way. I didn't read

that

> at all. I know that I feel sick about 75% of the time and can't

really

> put a label on it such as fatigue or headache. I just feel icky.

Don't

> you have days like that? Maybe you just took Toni's response the

wrong

> way. Besides, hypo is a pretty crappy hand to be dealt (although, I

> know there are many worse) and it's OK if we want to throw our own

pity

> party once in a while. While it may not improve our physical

health, it

> might help our mental health for at least a few minutes. The key

is to

> know that you're doing it and pick yourself back up before it goes

too

> far. We could all use a little extra special attention, especially

on a

> bad day.

>

>

>

> Re: Re: How to handle missing work so

> much?????

>

>

>

> IMAO I find this person is only looking for self pity -- such

feelings

> do not get one too far to improving one's health -- but if not self

pity

> -- possibly attention getting -- no pun intended on balance of

> membership.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your story as well, it helps to know that I am not alone.

I sent an email to my boss yesterday. It was so hard for me to send

it, but he wants to keep me even though I am so new.

Today, I am still sick and have spent most of the day crying at my

desk, but feel support and feel like I can get through this and still

might end up with this job. I have always LOVED what I did and is a

big reason why this is so hard for me. I have been an executive

assistant for most of my life, starting with assisting the greatest

man in the world, my dad. I have continued to assist some great men

with intergrity. I was so lucky to land another man who I want to

work for and it is the game industry. How fun is that?

Here is what I wrote:

I am not yet in great shape. This is very hard for me because I have

always been able to do anything. I want to give you the specifics

about my medical situation and a couple options and let you be the

one to decide.

Not to go too far back but I was literally driving home from a

doctors appointment when I recieved the call from Eva about your

position. This physician scheduled at least ten tests for me right

from the beginning. He suspects what I had researched, one of my

thyroid glands is giving me problems.

I didn't stress about taking the position because I was told that it

was temp only and going until the 14th

I inquired about many things while there because I like to know

exactly how best to use my talents even if I am there for only a week

or two. It did not take but a few days to see that I really liked

Philip, the way you handle yourself, the way you handle the group,

your integrity, etc.

Then I stressed about Ohio, and wanting the job and still being un-

sure about my health.

I am not sure about when I will be sick and here is what you need to

know. What has caused me the most problems is that I catch illnesses

of those around me. My less severe symptoms as well as less often

are: Swollen gland in throat which makes it difficult to swallow and

get food down, severe cramping during periods, food cravings, trouble

concentrating, fatigue, slow to heal, low grade fever, right arm and

hand numb. Only three times in a year and a half did I have

Hidradenitis Suppurativa (lumps in the armpit, breast, behind ear and

groin - strange huh?) They don't happen often or last very long but

they are so painful.

I love work and I would urge you to call my previous employers to

find out that I am not a person who wants time off, and to look at my

history. I love to work and this distresses me so much, but I cannot

be dishonest about this. I am a great worker and I am very good at

what I do.

This is something that is treatable with medication. But I need to

go in and do the tests and there will be some trial and error with

the medication.

I am not in great shape today and will be honest about the fact that

I am also depressed about this. I find it hard to talk about this

part of things. I do better with talking about the future with

regards to my medical issues but am teary when talking about where I

am at now and this embarrasses me.

Philip, you need stable help right now. You are busy and this is a

large department who needs support. I will help you find someone and

train them if that is what you decide. You do have many " projects "

that need to be done and I can stay and take care of those as well.

Also, I beleive that could use my help at E3. Maybe I could

stay on with these duties and by then I should be well on my way of

being healthy again. While, I would hate giving up this position, I

also know that anything could happen.

Let me know what your thoughts are, I am flexible with whatever it is

that you decide. I believe I will be positioned better if I came in

for a few hours later in the day today and tomorrow start back with a

full day.

Toni

> ,

> I agree completely with you on this. I waited to respond b/c some

of the

> responses made me so mad and if I responded at that time, it

wouldn't have

> been polite. Everyone has bad days and Toni expressed how hard it

was for

> her to even 'talk' about it. Sometimes you feel so low that

explaining

> things is a chore.

>

> Toni, I had days that I missed work in the beginning. I agree with

on

> her suggestions. I told my boss what I was going through (just the

basics)

> and she understood. We worked together on the issue.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ----Original Message Follows----

> From: " Monroe " <Monroe@b...>

> Reply-hypothyroidism

> <hypothyroidism >

> Subject: RE: Re: How to handle missing work so

much?????

> Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 00:20:08 -0500

>

> I don't understand why a few of you feel that way. I didn't read

that

> at all. I know that I feel sick about 75% of the time and can't

really

> put a label on it such as fatigue or headache. I just feel icky.

Don't

> you have days like that? Maybe you just took Toni's response the

wrong

> way. Besides, hypo is a pretty crappy hand to be dealt (although, I

> know there are many worse) and it's OK if we want to throw our own

pity

> party once in a while. While it may not improve our physical

health, it

> might help our mental health for at least a few minutes. The key

is to

> know that you're doing it and pick yourself back up before it goes

too

> far. We could all use a little extra special attention, especially

on a

> bad day.

>

>

>

> Re: Re: How to handle missing work so

> much?????

>

>

>

> IMAO I find this person is only looking for self pity -- such

feelings

> do not get one too far to improving one's health -- but if not self

pity

> -- possibly attention getting -- no pun intended on balance of

> membership.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I realized, after years of being sick, that when they were running a zillion

tests on me because no one would believe It was " simply " hypo making me this

sick, I became depressed. I started with depression last december 2001, and

it carried through to the summer. I could not figure out why I was crying

all the time. Then, just when I thought I would rather die I ended up in the

hospital, and they were testing me for everything, and it really put a scare

into me. here I was, already feeling useless and worthless. Add that I

couldn't get a straight answer about why I hurt so much or why I was hypo

when I am underweight, or why I had the problems I had. I was so down and

anxious and angry and depressed and emotional I couldn't function at all!

Once I did my reseach, and realized I am not the only one like this, and

realized that I have a condition and what it is, a lot of my depression

left. I don't feel very sorry for myself. I know this is not a spiritual

forum and I am not a religious person, but I do believe in God, and tend to

believe that I wouldn't be going through this if it weren't for the purpose

of me learning something from it and becoming stronger as a result of it.

This lifts my depression, at least the part that isn't physical, the part I

can control. Carl Jung once said " Meaning makes things bearable-perhaps

everything " . So, if I can find meaning, if I can find a way to beat this and

be better for it, as well as learn something about myself along the way

(like how resourceful I can be in getting information and taking care of

myself), it makes it bearable.

Tony this is from another site. You are not a loser! Hypothyroid really

does a number on our self esteem.

Gracia

> I am so distressed about this. I find it even hard to talk about

> it. I feel like a looser.

>

> Toni

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Many of you have really helped me, Thank you very much Gracia!!!!

I was so low and did not know where to turn, so I came here. I am

sure glad I did. Although I don't know you, you have helped me

through a rough couple of days.

I am feeling stronger and it really took all of your stories and

words of encouragement to put it in perspective for me.

I am very very thankful, and I know I keep saying it...

IT IS TRUE!!!

All of your wisdom and pain and suffering was not a waste for it

helps us newbies. I thank you all for sharing here to help us.

Much love,

Toni

> I realized, after years of being sick, that when they were running

a zillion

> tests on me because no one would believe It was " simply " hypo

making me this

> sick, I became depressed. I started with depression last december

2001, and

> it carried through to the summer. I could not figure out why I was

crying

> all the time. Then, just when I thought I would rather die I ended

up in the

> hospital, and they were testing me for everything, and it really

put a scare

> into me. here I was, already feeling useless and worthless. Add

that I

> couldn't get a straight answer about why I hurt so much or why I

was hypo

> when I am underweight, or why I had the problems I had. I was so

down and

> anxious and angry and depressed and emotional I couldn't function

at all!

>

> Once I did my reseach, and realized I am not the only one like

this, and

> realized that I have a condition and what it is, a lot of my

depression

> left. I don't feel very sorry for myself. I know this is not a

spiritual

> forum and I am not a religious person, but I do believe in God, and

tend to

> believe that I wouldn't be going through this if it weren't for the

purpose

> of me learning something from it and becoming stronger as a result

of it.

> This lifts my depression, at least the part that isn't physical,

the part I

> can control. Carl Jung once said " Meaning makes things bearable-

perhaps

> everything " . So, if I can find meaning, if I can find a way to beat

this and

> be better for it, as well as learn something about myself along the

way

> (like how resourceful I can be in getting information and taking

care of

> myself), it makes it bearable.

>

>

>

>

> Tony this is from another site. You are not a loser! Hypothyroid

really

> does a number on our self esteem.

> Gracia

>

>

>

> > I am so distressed about this. I find it even hard to talk about

> > it. I feel like a looser.

> >

> > Toni

> >

> >

> >