getting dh or someone else to change their diet

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/14/2006 7:29:26 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

beeisbuzzing2003@... writes:

==>My own daughter won't listen to me about good foods, so I understand

totally. However, my own sister, who has never listened to me in the

past is listening now because her husband has lung cancer. So maybe a

health crisis is the only way they will turn to you. In the meantime,

like you, I must sit by and not do or say much of anything. It makes

me heartsick and worried but I've offered my help and if they won't

listen I go to the next person who will listen and be helped. You

can't help people who won't help themselves.

My husband has emphysema. Years ago I told him he would be disabled by the

smoking. He never listened. Most times I let it go.

But...bit by bit, I have had to do some very hard work because he cannot

handle it. We have had to cut back on normal activities that people usually do.

There are no walks with each other or with the grandchildren. I do this but

he cannot. He feels left out when I go places he cannot go.

I do a lot of the jobs that are heavy. I have learned to accept things the

way they are but this morning I suggested my husband stay off sugars. He eats

peanut butter wafers about 3 times a day and eats chips as much.

We are traveling 2,000+ miles this month and he gets spacey and tired when

he drives. He veers off to the center and sides of the road. When his health

gets this bad, I have to take charge more. When he stopped in the center of

an all way stop and turned around, I had to take over the driving.

My husband does not drink water. He goes through two cases of about 24 cans

of diet colas each week. Our son told him how dangerous that is.

This morning my husband and I made an agreement that if I get better and he

feels left out of the family activity loop, he won't get upset with me or say

things that will discourage me from taking care of myself. :-)

We even shook hands on it.

During this trip I will " take the wheel " if he lacks too much oxygen. The

sugars cause us to lose oxygen as well as emphysema. We agreed that I will

hire a young man to care for him if I go places with our children and

grandchildren that he cannot go. Violet

[Guest guest]

Ann wrote:

> Hubby is getting the benefits from being on the diet too and says he

notices now how tired he is when he cheats with peanutbutter, fruit or

chocolate. He's thrown out all the bread last month and hasn't eaten

pasta for 3 months now.

>

> How do you get your dh to follow the diet? Even with the

improvements that I have personnally seen, I can't pry the bread,

pasta, or caffeine from his diet.

==>I'm confused. Above you say he's thrown out all bread and hasn't

eaten pasta for 3 months, yet you say you can't pry them, including

caffeine from his diet???

==>In my experience you cannot pressure a person to change their diet.

They have to decide on their own. I've seen many wives that haven't

been able to affect their dh's diet, or even their older children. It

can be very hard to sit by and see how they are ruining their health,

but unfortunately pressuring can make matters worse. Education is the

oly way they will " see the light " , so giving them information, one

small piece at a time, so they can absorb it, is best. Chastising them

or making them feel wrong or getting upset doesn't help (I'm not saying

you do that Ann) - it only makes them stick by their own decisions more

and more. It is always good to acknowledge and praise others for doing

things right, i.e. eating good foods, and to " try to ignore " other

indiscretions. If they learn on their own it is better, just like you

had to.

==>My own daughter won't listen to me about good foods, so I understand

totally. However, my own sister, who has never listened to me in the

past is listening now because her husband has lung cancer. So maybe a

health crisis is the only way they will turn to you. In the meantime,

like you, I must sit by and not do or say much of anything. It makes

me heartsick and worried but I've offered my help and if they won't

listen I go to the next person who will listen and be helped. You

can't help people who won't help themselves.

I hope that helps,

Bee

>

[Guest guest]

> ==>I'm confused. Above you say he's thrown out all bread and hasn't

> eaten pasta for 3 months, yet you say you can't pry them, including

> caffeine from his diet???

Hi Bee!

I think that you have my response (about my dh not willing to follow

the diet) confused with NH's story about her dh starting the diet

after seeing her success and feeling better since making the changes.

> ==>In my experience you cannot pressure a person to change their

diet. They have to decide on their own....

Thanks Bee. I knew this, but sometimes we need reminding!

> ==>It can be very hard to sit by and see how they are ruining their

health, but unfortunately pressuring can make matters worse. Education

is the only way they will " see the light " , so giving them information,

one small piece at a time, so they can absorb it, is best.

This is soooo very true. It is very hard to sit by and see how tired

he always is and his answer is another pot of coffee or tea (even if

it is 9PM!) I do feed him information. I do not tell him he has to

do this, but that it might make him feel better. Just try it for 1

month.....Mostly I stay quiet as he has flat out told me he will not

give up bread or caffeine. His reasoning about the bread is that the

children are always complaining that there is nothing in the house to

eat and what would we feed them if we gave up bread?....So, I am stuck.

- ann

[Guest guest]

>.Mostly I stay quiet as he has flat out told me he will not

> give up bread or caffeine. His reasoning about the bread is that the

> children are always complaining that there is nothing in the house to

> eat and what would we feed them if we gave up bread?

just a thought here....who does the grocery shopping in your house? If

the breads, pasta's, etc. are not in the house, no one can eat them.

)

jackie

[Guest guest]

I must say I agree with Jackie that if it isn't in the house ,,,,

Here is another prospective. My Health food store sells bread that is " No

Yeast, No Gluten " it is made with Brown Rice Flour.. I actually liked the taste

of it while I thought I was allowed it.. NOT !! LOL

Also slowly mix Decalf into his regular coffee.. Hide the evidence. I did

this He never knew what I was up to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seattles Best makes a great

Swiss process Decalf!!!!!!!

Find a way to make someone SMILE today!

Cory

---------------------------------

Brings words and photos together (easily) with

PhotoMail - it's free and works with .

[Guest guest]

>

> > children are always complaining that there is

> nothing in the house to

> > eat and what would we feed them if we gave up

> bread?

Right now my son is just a baby, but basically he eats

only meats, fruits and veggies. Because he is healthy

I do not limit his fruits. When he gets older it will

be the same thing.. he will just eat what I eat, but

I'll add fruit in for him.

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

Website for my son Hunter Hudson, born 10/11/04:

http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

[Guest guest]

--- Cory <grammaco@...> wrote:

> Also slowly mix Decalf into his regular coffee..

> Hide the evidence. I did this He never knew what I

> was up to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seattles Best makes a

> great Swiss process Decalf!!!!!!!

If your kids aren't doing the anti-candida diet and

you want to make some good bread for them that does

not contain things like rice flour (natural Paleo

food) here are some recipes:

Batter Bread (a thin soft bread suitable for toppings

or sandwiches)

------------

6 T oil

1 t raw honey (optional)

3 eggs

1 C pecan nut meal

1/4 C arrowroot

Combine all and pour on to a greased cookie sheet

(approximately 12x8x1/2

inch). Bake at 325 for about 15 minutes. Cut in to

desired size.

From: Patti

Mock Walnut Bread

-----------------

1 cup walnuts

1 egg

sea salt

Chop up the walnuts as fine as possible in a food

processor then added one

whole egg. The dough will be a bit sticky. Lightly

coated a small cast iron

pan with side pork grease (not much). Press some of

the dough into a flat

round and cook it turning once. Salt to taste. If you

have ever made

tortillas using masa flour, this is kind of the same

thing only with paleo

ingredients. It could be used for open faced

sandwiches.

From: Patti

Arrowroot Bread

---------------

Combine and set aside

1/2 cup walnuts or almonds, ground

1 1/2 cup arrowroot

1/4 t sea salt

Optional: apple and cinnamon

In another bowl combine

1 egg

1/8 cup raw honey (optional)

1/8 cup nutmilk

Add wet ingredients to flour mixture. If too dry add

more nutmilk in small

amounts until a smooth dough forms but is not stiff.

This can be baked in

an oiled bread pan or on an oiled cookie sheet at 350

for 30 minutes. Using

olive oil, lightly coat loaf before baking. This

recipe can be adapted as

an herb bread by adding fresh or dried herbs, onion

etc. It can also be

adapted as a sweet bread by adding such ingredients as

banana, cinnamon

etc. The loaf is dense but not bad with fruit.

From: Patti

Paleo Pancakes

--------------

1 egg

1/4 cup of ground almonds

1/4 cup of coconut milk

Cook as regular pancakes in coconut butter or other

fat or if you are

raw/paleo, drink it or eat as a pudding.

Sometimes I cook this as I would an oven pancake:

Preheat oven. Heat the

pan (a cast iron frying pan works the best) in a 425F

oven until hot, add

some olive oil, coconut butter, or coconut oil to the

pan (1 tablespoon)

and then add the egg mixture. Cook for 10 minutes. No

turning. It won't

puff up like the ones made with rice flour instead of

almonds, but it

tastes good. There are many recipes for Puffed or Oven

pancake on a Search,

but almonds make it paleo and in my opinion more

tasty! It resembles

Yorkshire Pudding, but with almonds it doesn't puff up

very well. The

pancake simply slides out of the pan because of all

the grease, so it

shouldn't break apart.

From: Carmack

Blueberry & Walnut Pancakes

---------------------------

Per person:

1/2 cup finely ground walnuts (should look like a

course flour)

a little sea salt

1/2 ??? teaspoon baking powder from the health food

store - no aluminum

1 whole organic egg

1/2 cup pure water

1 1/2 teaspoons walnut oil

Tons of chopped walnuts

Tons of blueberries

I only make them once a year and vary the ingredients.

I make sure the

batter is thick enough to support the blueberries and

chopped walnuts

though because my pancakes don't look much like

regular Bisquick pancakes!

In mine, I go very heavy on the fruit and nuts with

just a little thick

batter to support them. As best I can remember, they

are made something

like this (but it's only a guess!!!):

I cook each pancake in a little walnut oil, flip once

and serve with a very

small amount of warm, pure maple syrup. Obviously,

this is a " once or twice

in the fall " type meal. I always serve it with a large

amount of sausage,

bacon, etc.

From: P. Rosenthal

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

Website for my son Hunter Hudson, born 10/11/04:

http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

[Guest guest]

> just a thought here....who does the grocery shopping in your house? If

> the breads, pasta's, etc. are not in the house, no one can eat them.

>

> )

>

> jackie

>

Hi Jackie -

I do most of the shopping. If I do purchase bread for the family, it

is either sourdough (the real thing) or sprouted-grain bread. The

problem occurs when dh stops on the way home from work and picks up

loaves of Italian or French bread and bagels (usually with lots of

sugar on them).

- ann

[Guest guest]

> Also slowly mix Decalf into his regular coffee.. Hide the

evidence. I did this He never knew what I was up to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seattles Best makes a great Swiss process Decalf!!!!!!!

I actually don't know how to make coffee - like the smell of

brewing coffee, never liked the taste! I have never encountered

anyone who drinks as much coffee as my dh! I think he would take it

intravenously if he could ;-) He also drinks it quite strong -

according to others who have tried his coffee (comments like - you

could stand a spoon it this coffee!) I at least have gotten him over

to organic coffee. If he can't have coffee, he has cup after cup of

STRONG black tea....what's a person to do?

- Ann

[Guest guest]

> The

> problem occurs when dh stops on the way home from work and picks up

> loaves of Italian or French bread and bagels (usually with lots of

> sugar on them).

>

hmmm...well, it does sound like you've got an obstacle there. Have you

had him try the spit test to see if he has candida overgrowth too?

Quite often everyone in a family does have it. It might be a " fun "

experiment to get him to try the test...then if he does have it, maybe

you'd have an easier time of making dietary changes for the whole

family and not just yourself.

jackie

[Guest guest]

You don't have to know how to make coffee.

Just buy a can or package of the decalf and put in 1/2 cup and mix it up..

then a week later put in another 1/2 cup.

Come on girl, you can be sneeky can't you?

Other wise just give up, and accept the fact that he isn't intrested in

changing.. His loss not yours.

But there is no rule saying you have to allow that for your children.

If he choses to eat that " Crap " then let him eat it outside of the house.

Where none of you must be subjected to it.

Find a way to make someone SMILE today!

Cory

---------------------------------

Brings words and photos together (easily) with

PhotoMail - it's free and works with .

[Guest guest]

--- Cory <grammaco@...> wrote:

> But there is no rule saying you have to allow that

> for your children.

> If he choses to eat that " Crap " then let him eat

> it outside of the house. Where none of you must be

> subjected to it.

My hubby eats total crap too, and I just don't buy it

for him or cook it for him. I keep some frozen stuff

for him in the freezer for days where he really can't

get out, but usually he eats fast food. Sometimes he

even asks me to get it for him, and it is hard driving

with the smell of french fries in the car. Good thing

I am strong!

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

Website for my son Hunter Hudson, born 10/11/04:

http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

[Guest guest]

Dearest Violet,

My heart goes out to you having to deal with your own health problems

and also stand by and see your husband doing many things that are

damaging to his health. It is sad not to be able to share the things

you want to with him. Hang in there Violet. As your health improves

he may see the wisdom in what you are doing and heed your advice too.

We are here for you to support and help you as much as we can.

Big hugs, Bee

>

> My husband has emphysema. Years ago I told him he would be

disabled by the> smoking. He never listened. Most times I let it go.

> But...bit by bit, I have had to do some very hard work because he

cannot > handle it. We have had to cut back on normal activities that

people usually do.

> There are no walks with each other or with the grandchildren. I do

this but > he cannot. He feels left out when I go places he cannot

go. I do a lot of the jobs that are heavy. I have learned to accept

things the > way they are but this morning I suggested my husband

stay off sugars. He eats > peanut butter wafers about 3 times a day

and eats chips as much.

<snip> to see the whole story go Up Thread.

[Guest guest]

Ann wrote:

>

> > ==>I'm confused. Above you say he's thrown out all bread and

hasn't eaten pasta for 3 months, yet you say you can't pry them,

including caffeine from his diet??? Bee

> Hi Bee!

>

> I think that you have my response (about my dh not willing to follow

> the diet) confused with NH's story about her dh starting the diet

> after seeing her success and feeling better since making the

changes.

==>I apologize - I realized that after I pushed the Send button.

>

> > ==>In my experience you cannot pressure a person to change their

> diet. They have to decide on their own....

>

> Thanks Bee. I knew this, but sometimes we need reminding!

==>Yes, it is hard, but true.

>

> > ==>It can be very hard to sit by and see how they are ruining

their health, but unfortunately pressuring can make matters worse.

Education is the only way they will " see the light " , so giving them

information, one small piece at a time, so they can absorb it, is

best.

>

> This is soooo very true. It is very hard to sit by and see how

tired> he always is and his answer is another pot of coffee or tea

(even if> it is 9PM!) I do feed him information. I do not tell him

he has to> do this, but that it might make him feel better. Just try

it for 1> month.....Mostly I stay quiet as he has flat out told me he

will not> give up bread or caffeine. His reasoning about the bread

is that the children are always complaining that there is nothing in

the house to> eat and what would we feed them if we gave up

bread?....So, I am stuck.

==>When my two girls were growing up I had a solution to the snack

situation. I never kept any junk foods or sugary foods in the house,

except a Snacking Cake Mix, which, if they wanted it bad enough, they

had to bake. I kept plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables which were

their snack foods (I didn't know that fruits weren't good for anyone

at time). Many times they fought over who ate the last green

pepper! lol! If they wanted junk food like potato chips, cookies,

donuts, etc. they'd have to spend their own allowance on it, which

they didn't do very often because they had better things they wanted

to buy. Oddly enough they both liked liver and spinach - I always

steamed spinach which we had with apple cider vinegar, butter, salt

and pepper. They loved it!

==>If your dh and children think that they have no snack foods if

they don't have bread they probably " crave " bread, which is usually

caused by an addiction to it.

Bee