Guest guest Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 I understand Bridget..... We'll get better. I promise. Your buddy, Thane > > > I live my life day to day > not really living, just existing. > I used to have so much to say, > so many things to do, but now > I end up just sitting. > > The endless energy I once had > has gone away, replaced by someone > much less fitting. > My mind, my mind, where has it gone? > I can't think straight through all this fog. > My once sharp brain feels all to mush, > I can't do anything that might require thought > > This is it, my life, my misery > could the pain get any worse? > The stabbing, the burning, > brings me to my knees. > I've cried so hard there > can't be any tears left, > but yet they still come. > > Why God, why?? > Why me, what did I do > to deserve to be put through > this misery?? I'm a good > person, help others, but > how can I do that anymore > when I can't even live my life. > > I exist from day to day, > I do not live, I exist, waiting, > to either be taken to heaven, > or get better, but either way > it is taking forever. > > Some days I think I'd be better > off not here, but then I see > my daughter's face, and have such fear, > she needs me, healthy or not, she needs me. > > > So on I go, up to bed, > to pray for health, and > up I wake to the same hand I've > been dealt. No better, no worse, > just alive. > > There is a war inside > my body right now, > and most days it feels > like we are on the losing side. > They invade and destroy, > not just our bodies and minds, > but our lives as well. > > This horrible disease has > ruined my wonderful, happy life. > I once was energetic and happy > now I am just a shell of what > I once was. > > I want to be better so bad, > I want the life I once had, > I want to smile and laugh > and not be so sad. > > I've lost my friends and > hurt my family because > I can't do the things once > asked of me. > > I can't enjoy seeing my nephew > or playing with my daughter because > the battle inside me, > feels like a death slaughter > > I live my life with a fake smile, > just keep marching, > just keep marching. > At the end of the day, the > floodgates open and out comes > the anger, the hate, the remorse, > the guilt, the sadness, until > I finally have nothing left inside > and fall into a painful sleep > only to start all over again in the morning. > > > > I HATE THIS DISEASE > > bridget > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.