Guest guest Posted January 9, 2010 Report Share Posted January 9, 2010 I think for me, it is some sort of test, I have been through a lot in the last few years, I almost lost my baby (due to my lymes which I didn't know I had), she was born 3 months early at 1 pound 12 ounces, in the hospital for 2 months in an incubator, but she is a miracle and amazing, that was the hardest thing I have ever been through, it made me not take one second for granted with her, now I think this sickness has made me really appreciate the little things in life, waking up without pain would be a beautiful thing for me, days that I can smile and laugh without making myself do it, little things like going to the park with my daughter and having fun instead of being miserable and feeling like I am going to fall over. I think everything happens for a reason, this last couple of years has really tested my limits, I have come so close to giving up and then see my beautiful daughter smile or say I love you, makes me hang on a little bit longer. There will be a day when I look back on this and it will all be a distant memory and I will fully appreciate every day that I have that I feel good and healthy. Bridget I wish everyone here could have a good day, as good as we can.... > > Purpose = Meaning. > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > ******* > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2010 Report Share Posted January 9, 2010 Thanks for this. I needed it today. I just went on lumbrokinase (the doc Maureen and I see is very hot on it for dissolving biofilms), which has brought on a fierce herx. This is the week that I also went back to work after a three-month sabbatical -- and I was too sick to get anything done, which made me embarrassed and angry with myself. I've said there's a Zen practice to this. Being something like well for the past six months, I've forgotten how to be in that space. I am more angry and frustrated with this herx than I've been in many months. I have a LIFE, dammit. I want to be able to trust that life. And I'm no longer able to easily let go of days that don't conform to that growing expectation. I'm being reminded that I'm still a Person With Lyme, and that there's obviously still quite some way to go (given that I'm herxing) before that changes. So it's good to be reminded, too, that things were once so much more difficult; and that that life had its blessings, too -- blessings that it's easier to lose track of now that I'm moving faster again. Bridget's attitude is far more conducive to healing than being angry and fighting in the face of it, which is what I'm trying much too hard not to do right now. I knew that once, and it's doesn't make me less angry to realize how much of that attitude I've forgotten -- and how quickly, too. Sara On Jan 9, 2010, at 6:58 51PM, bridget wrote: > I think for me, it is some sort of test, I have been through a lot in the last few years, I almost lost my baby (due to my lymes which I didn't know I had), she was born 3 months early at 1 pound 12 ounces, in the hospital for 2 months in an incubator, but she is a miracle and amazing, that was the hardest thing I have ever been through, it made me not take one second for granted with her, now I think this sickness has made me really appreciate the little things in life, waking up without pain would be a beautiful thing for me, days that I can smile and laugh without making myself do it, little things like going to the park with my daughter and having fun instead of being miserable and feeling like I am going to fall over. I think everything happens for a reason, this last couple of years has really tested my limits, I have come so close to giving up and then see my beautiful daughter smile or say I love you, makes me hang on a little bit longer. There will be a day when I look back on this and it will all be a distant memory and I will fully appreciate every day that I have that I feel good and healthy. > Bridget > I wish everyone here could have a good day, as good as we can.... > > >> >> Purpose = Meaning. >> >> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. >> >> Thanks much! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ******* >> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l >> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 , I try to keep a positive attitutde about all of this as well. When I do my IV infusions I remind myself that there are people who are putting chemotherapy in their lines and maybe with the knowledge that they won't get better. Hopefully we all know that there is an end to this somewhere. On the other side of this, I happen to be in a place right now where I have had to stop all meds because of liver damage and lowered white blood cell count and I feel like I am back to square one now. I am in so much pain that I can barely walk down my stairs from my bedroom. I have three small children and I am beginning to feel robbed. I am not one to feel sorry for myself and I believe that we are all responsible for our own destiny. However, it is just really hard to not be angry every now and then. There is absolutely no reason why a 39 year old active mom of three small children should be confined to a couch or unable to get off of the toilet seat. If there was legitimate research being conducted into this disease and funds allocated for research I might be less angry. But why do we have to suffer needlessly? I am not a hypochondriac Mr. Infectious Disease Doctor. I will have you know that in spite of my illness for the past two years I have remained Fundraising Director for my children's co-operative preschool where I work, I am on the PTA. My husband coaches my childrens t-ball games which I attend regularly. I take my sons to ice skating weekly and my daughter to ballet. I volunteer in my community and spend every Friday morning in my Kindergarteners classroom helping the students. I do all of this while in excrutiating pain, dizzy and lightheaded and nauseous, tired, sad, angry, and on and on. I am so tired of hearing that I look great and I am so energetic. When people ask how I am doing I just say " fine " now. I don't bother going down the laundry list of what bothers me. I am also contending with my childrens fears and concerns about what the hell is happeneing to their mommy. I am sorry to go off on a rant, but this is how I am feeling this week. If you caught me two weeks ago when I was on Rocephin and doing OK, I would have answered differently. I think that we all need to be honest with ourselves and allow ourselves to experience our emotions and these are mine right now. I sincerely wish from the bottom of my heart that I am alone in feeling this way today. Lissa > > Purpose = Meaning. > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > ******* > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 Ha, good thing I don't have much time today, and don't have time to re post what I said earlier...., as I am starting to herx. I have the anger and rage too, Lissa, I only have one 4 year old, and I feel exactly the way you do about being a mom with lyme, it is not fair at all, I am only 28 and I feel like I am 80. I don't understand it, and I HATE living one day at a time and not being able to make plans or take vacations. Good luck to everyone and hope for good days! Bridget > > > > Purpose = Meaning. > > > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ******* > > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 No you are not alone! I wish as well that no one else was feeling this way. I so appreciate everyones willingness to share. I too feel the unfairness of it all. I am a mother of four children ages 3- 10. My husband isnt' very supportive about this illness and continually leaves me to do everything that needs doing. I think it is important to set your own boundaries and admit to yourself more than anyone else what your limitations are and try really hard to be ok in the moment. I strongly believe that God doesn't give us any trial we are not strong enough to handle. I know this is such a ridiculously painful and torturous disease, therefore I know this is a group of really strong people. It is so hard not to focus on teh end that there is none and that it is anyones guess when I " might " be feeling better " if " I feel better. If I focus on that I can easily sink into the depression of unfairness. I am trying really hard to focus on the positives and on developing who I am through all this craziness. It is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life! I can very much relate to doing " too much " and having everyone comment that at least I look really good while suffering. WHO cares how I look if I feel like my whole body is being ravaged by these stupid bacteria! I know I sound conflicted and I am but I have to hold on to my core belief that this is all for a reason and that myself and my family will benefit from having to go through it. I remember when I had no diagnosis and I guess I would pick knowing and working on it over the extra depressing feeling insane and not having anyone believe or treat me for anything! Anyway this was mostly me rambling so please forgive the lyme brain. I hope you all have a better day today and that God willing you will be lyme free in the near future! Love, From: bridget <blueyes7648@...> Subject: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning Date: Sunday, January 10, 2010, 9:10 AM  Ha, good thing I don't have much time today, and don't have time to re post what I said earlier...., as I am starting to herx. I have the anger and rage too, Lissa, I only have one 4 year old, and I feel exactly the way you do about being a mom with lyme, it is not fair at all, I am only 28 and I feel like I am 80. I don't understand it, and I HATE living one day at a time and not being able to make plans or take vacations. Good luck to everyone and hope for good days! Bridget > > > > Purpose = Meaning. > >  > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > >  > > Thanks much! > >  > > > > > > > >  > > > >  > > ******* > > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 I have many days like that too, Sara. And like Bridget, I believe there is a reason... or a grand plan... not that everything is predetermined, but something more than completely random. Lyme sucks! Being sick and hurting all the time sucks! BUT, if I hadn't gotten Lyme when I did I would have missed a lot of my son's days growing up because I would have been at work instead of with them. I got to be the " team mom " because I wasn't working and had time to organize bottle/can drives or make reservations for banquet dinners. I got to chaperone field trips because I wasn't able to hold a job (sometimes on crutches, sometimes in enough pain I thought about veering off to the hospital once, but I was there). I was there to drive them to school and drop half the football or wrestling team off after practice because their parents were at work, hearing a lot of kids talk about how they wished their parents were " always there " and my boys laughing and saying, " No, you don't! " Because I was sick, I didn't go out dancing or to plays anymore at weekends, and my boys were able to have 2 or 10 friends over and have 3-levels of the house filled with multiple X-Boxes and surround sound systems blaring so loud... but lots of laughter, food and knowing where my kids were. Knowing that some of those other teen boys had somewhere to be where there was no peer pressure for drugs, drinking, sex or vandalism, and so happy when they told us so. If I had gotten sick a month before I did I would never have married the love of my life: I would have felt too fearful of the future and too guilty and helpless to allow him to provide for me what I can't do for myself any more. He's truly been a mountain of strength for me, telling me to " write a damn book and quit worrying about not working " . He's supportive and sweet... and if I hadn't married him I'd have been so much more alone and sad going through this illness. I would have missed out on the best friend I ever had because of the false pride I used to carry around. I also don't think I would have ever realized that doctors don't know everything! Here in Portland, OR they didn't know how to report a positive Lyme test, or even who was supposed to report it. Now I know that when I really, truly feel like something is wrong I'm usually spot on. If I hadn't pushed so hard in this last year my movement disorder would still be undiagnosed, so I learned to be persistent and not give up when I feel I'm right. It almost sounds sick to say I'm probably a better human being than if I'd never been bitten by an infected tick (that I never saw), that having so much taken away from me has given me priceless good as well. Thanks for posing the question -- it's been way too long since I adoped an " attitude of gratitude " ! > >> > >> Purpose = Meaning. > >> > >> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > >> > >> Thanks much! > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> ******* > >> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God doesn't throw anything at us that we ultimately cannot handle. It may be incredibly tough, but we will get through it. I suffered for a number of years before being diagnosed with Lyme. After many tests and different doctors, one finally suggested the possibility of Lyme to me. I broke down after reading the symptoms and details online because I finally knew what was wrong with me! Knowing is half the battle. At least now I can fight it and, as many others have stated, I know I'm not completely losing my mind. There is an explanation to all the horrible symptoms I have experieenced over the years. Having Lyme, while a terrible thing, has made me reprioritize some things in my life. I think it was God's way to force me to slow down, which ultimately has been a good thing. I probably would have run myself into the ground otherwise. Anne > > Purpose = Meaning. > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > ******* > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 , I just posted on the Buhner list in response to a similar question so I apologize to anyone on both lists for my redundant posts. Your question is timely as it seems we all need to find some silver lining with our Lyme. I can't say I've found additional meaning or purpose to my life since having Lyme. It may be a possibility by the time I'm better. I have found a heightened appreciation for many aspects of my life, however. BTW, I'm also a Viktor l fan and have found some inspiration in the freedom and ability to transcend circumstances that he experienced. I usually feel the need to fix injustices and when faced with one of the biggest I've personally had to deal with (healthcare situation of Lyme) I have to concede there is little I can personally do. I was very angry at the MDs at first but I was just so sick for months there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't think straight (lost 21 IQ points!!) enough to write letters, file complaints, etc. All energy had to go toward learning about Lyme and seeking treatment. About 9 months into treatment when I started to feel better I thought about trying to correct the system so others would not have to deal with this. But I felt so good at times I was excited to have my life and some activities back again and the fight became less important to me. Then I relapsed. The relapse was MUCH harder to handle than the original illness because I had a lot less hope for recovery. I had to face the possibility that this IS my life now and I wondered if the year of treatment was all for nothing. In general I'm a really positive person but chronic Lyme chips away at that. I do try to focus on the positive aspects of my life, of which there are many. Lyme has increased my levels of patience and understanding and made me appreciate little things so I try to be thankful for that. I try to take pride in accomplishing what I can. I was always someone who did lots of stuff and was involved in everything so it's been really important to me to feel like I'm still getting things done. Of course, my " to do " list is very different but it still helps me feel good to focus on the things I CAN do. I've found prioritization is key, always keeping in mind my true goal, health. If I think taking action (writing letters, filing complaints, etc) will make me feel better, I do it. If it is only going to frustrate me further, I avoid it. One of the major roadblocks to positive thinking with Lyme is the way it invades our CNS and directly effects brain chemicals causing feelings of depression, anger and incredible sadness. I try very hard to compartmentalize these feelings. I acknowledge them, attribute them to the way my brain chemicals are interacting that day and then get busy with a task that will result in positive feelings. Sometimes this works! Many of the parents on the list have expressed the anger and frustration that comes from feeling like they are not there to participate fully in thier children's lives. I really identify with 's comments about this, maybe because I also have teenagers. Because of my Lyme I have been MORE available to my kids. Sure I've missed seeing them play a bunch of games and even had to skip some back-to-school/meet the teacher nights. But, before I was sick, I was often not home since I was so busy doing things that I now consider unimportant. Just as described, my kids know they can always have friends over because I'm always home! Taking care of my kids is so important to me that I find myself incredibly thankful when I feel well enough to prepare them healthy meals or do activities together. My life has slowed down and I truly savor the good times now but staying positive can be really difficult when I think about all the opportunities lost. My husband thinks I should go to med school because he knows how much I want to help those with Lyme. I guess he thinks highly of me because I'm 48! If I was younger I'd probably be studying for that right now. - [ ] Purpose & Meaning Purpose = Meaning. Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. Thanks much! ******* " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Thanks to everyone who's responded. I really appreciate your opening up like this. Lissa, please don't apologize for your " rant. " These are your feelings and you must be able to express them here. We can't recover from anything we can't name or express. For me, this is the first time in many years that I have felt this level of powerlessness. Awful feeling. It awakens all past such feelings. I have to believe that something meaningful will come out of this. I'm a rape survivor and, though I would never want to repeat the ordeal, I was, eventually, able to use my experience to help others and to grow in compassion and understanding. So, I know that chance exists here. I like to joke that what doesn't kill me will make for one hell of a novel. I'd been trying to work on some sort of spiritual/self-help thing, but it just won't come. In the past, I've been able to express myself well via fiction and I have an idea that's been building regarding the Lyme experience. I think it could do a lot of good. I'm at the making notes/researching/talking to loved ones about it stage. Characters building in my head. Plot developing slowly. This could be what I've been needing. Again, thank you all for your frank and sincere sharing. ******* " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l From: mammamia3x <lhkenkel@...> Subject: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning Date: Sunday, January 10, 2010, 6:39 AM , I try to keep a positive attitutde about all of this as well. When I do my IV infusions I remind myself that there are people who are putting chemotherapy in their lines and maybe with the knowledge that they won't get better.. Hopefully we all know that there is an end to this somewhere. On the other side of this, I happen to be in a place right now where I have had to stop all meds because of liver damage and lowered white blood cell count and I feel like I am back to square one now. I am in so much pain that I can barely walk down my stairs from my bedroom. I have three small children and I am beginning to feel robbed. I am not one to feel sorry for myself and I believe that we are all responsible for our own destiny. However, it is just really hard to not be angry every now and then. There is absolutely no reason why a 39 year old active mom of three small children should be confined to a couch or unable to get off of the toilet seat. If there was legitimate research being conducted into this disease and funds allocated for research I might be less angry. But why do we have to suffer needlessly? I am not a hypochondriac Mr. Infectious Disease Doctor. I will have you know that in spite of my illness for the past two years I have remained Fundraising Director for my children's co-operative preschool where I work, I am on the PTA. My husband coaches my childrens t-ball games which I attend regularly. I take my sons to ice skating weekly and my daughter to ballet. I volunteer in my community and spend every Friday morning in my Kindergarteners classroom helping the students. I do all of this while in excrutiating pain, dizzy and lightheaded and nauseous, tired, sad, angry, and on and on.. I am so tired of hearing that I look great and I am so energetic. When people ask how I am doing I just say " fine " now. I don't bother going down the laundry list of what bothers me. I am also contending with my childrens fears and concerns about what the hell is happeneing to their mommy. I am sorry to go off on a rant, but this is how I am feeling this week. If you caught me two weeks ago when I was on Rocephin and doing OK, I would have answered differently. I think that we all need to be honest with ourselves and allow ourselves to experience our emotions and these are mine right now. I sincerely wish from the bottom of my heart that I am alone in feeling this way today. Lissa > > Purpose = Meaning. > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > ******* > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.. " - Viktor l > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 It's a real dilemma, this looking good while feeling horrible. I WANT to look good. I DON'T want to look like a sick person. BUT sometimes...oh, sometimes, I just want to look as bad as I feel so people will finally just get it! ******* " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l From: bridget <blueyes7648@...> Subject: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning Date: Sunday, January 10, 2010, 9:10 AM Ha, good thing I don't have much time today, and don't have time to re post what I said earlier...., as I am starting to herx. I have the anger and rage too, Lissa, I only have one 4 year old, and I feel exactly the way you do about being a mom with lyme, it is not fair at all, I am only 28 and I feel like I am 80. I don't understand it, and I HATE living one day at a time and not being able to make plans or take vacations. Good luck to everyone and hope for good days! Bridget > > > > Purpose = Meaning. > > > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ******* > > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Do it. Or do something, at least. When I was 48, I fell into a research study for a protocol that didn't cure my Lyme (I didn't know I *had* Lyme at the time), but did bring back a good deal of my cognitive functioning, even though I was still so exhausted I was pretty much living in bed. At the urging of an acquaintance (now a friend), I started grad school online that year. I attended classes from bed, on my laptop; and turned in assignments that way, too. And now I will recieve my MS in May (it was supposed to be last semester, but my treatment got rough there for a while, so I put it off), just a few weeks before I turn 52. I already have a job waiting for me when I graduate -- one I can do on my own time, and mostly from home, but working with some amazing clients at a serious consulting rate of pay -- and have been offered fellowships at two think tanks, one of which is one of which is quite prestigious. The latter has been paying me a monthly stipend for the past two years -- the first paychecks I've seen since 1997. It's not much, but it's enough to cover my treatment. They've also given me a national soapbox for my writing. Thanks to them, I've been interviewed on NPR, run an hour-long show on CSPAN, and am negotiating with two major publishers who want me to write books for them. Bill Moyers writes me mash notes. Not bad for a woman who still spends half her life sprawled on her Sleep Number bed -- and certainly not anything I could have imagined in my wildest dreams five years ago. Back when I was first wondering if I should start the whole school project at all -- and fretting over the fact that it was going to take me three or four years to complete the program on a half-time basis -- a friend asked me, " How old are you going to be in four years if you don't go to grad school? " She also pointed out that even graduating at 52 would leave me with a good 20 years to enjoy my career -- and these days, when most of us can expect to have two, three, or even four careers in a lifetime, 20 years can be a good long run. She was right about all of it. My degree has infused my 50s with new energy. I go to conferences and am followed around by darling 35-year-old fanboys, which I did NOT expect at this age (let alone this weight). And though I had no idea when I started the degree if I'd ever use the training -- I was just doing it to have some reason to get up in the mornings at that point; and did not expect my life to ever be any better than it was, since I was incurable -- my healing process has paralleled it closely. But then, thanks to the guy running the research project, I got my Lyme diagnosis, and another chance at a whole life. So, seriously: listen to your husband. Maybe you can get a public health degree, or become a patient advocate, or become a medical or science writer. More and more universities are offering courses and entire degrees online these days (though I can vouch for the value of attending conferences and visiting the campus to meet your professors f2f a couple times a year). If money is an issue, there are lots of scholarships available (I was surprised and delighted at the number available especially for disabled students and women re-entering the workforce) -- you can Google sites that list them all. Being 48 is no excuse at all. Odds are good you're still going to be here in 30 years, maybe even 40 -- and you're going to need to find something to usefully fill all those days. Sara On Jan 11, 2010, at 7:49 07AM, on wrote: > My husband thinks I should go to med school because he knows how much I want to help those with Lyme. I guess he thinks highly of me because I'm 48! If I was younger I'd probably be studying for that right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 The scooter was a huge clue on that front. Even if you look wonderfully put-together, the fact that you're on wheels tells people there's something seriously amiss with you. Or, barring that, my minister suggested that I buy a cane. Even if you don't need it, carrying it is a visible signal to people that you're not as healthy as you might otherwise seem. On bad days when I must be out, I leave off the makeup, wear bulky gray wooly clothes, and/or carry the cane. People aren't mean; they just don't know how to behave. If you want them to understand, you have to help them along by sending out signals in the socially-sanctioned code they've been trained to hear and respond to. Once they get these cues, they'll tend to deliver the behavior you hope for (or else you get to find out who the really self-centered jerks are, which is also useful information). Sara On Jan 11, 2010, at 8:16 28AM, C-H wrote: > It's a real dilemma, this looking good while feeling horrible. I WANT to look good. I DON'T want to look like a sick person. BUT sometimes...oh, sometimes, I just want to look as bad as I feel so people will finally just get it! > > > > > ******* > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > From: bridget <blueyes7648@...> > Subject: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning > > Date: Sunday, January 10, 2010, 9:10 AM > > > > > > > Ha, good thing I don't have much time today, and don't have time to re post what I said earlier...., as I am starting to herx. > I have the anger and rage too, Lissa, I only have one 4 year old, and I feel exactly the way you do about being a mom with lyme, it is not fair at all, I am only 28 and I feel like I am 80. I don't understand it, and I HATE living one day at a time and not being able to make plans or take vacations. > Good luck to everyone and hope for good days! > Bridget > > >>> >>> Purpose = Meaning. >>> >>> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. >>> >>> Thanks much! >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> ******* >>> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Anne said: " I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God doesn't throw anything at us that we ultimately cannot handle. It may be incredibly tough, but we will get through it. " That's one of those concepts which makes me glad I reject organized religion. No offense, but the concept of a cruel God who purposely gives people nasty diseases which causes them years of suffering as a 'test' makes me shudder. I've had Lyme since I was in my 20s. I'm now 41 and still have not been able to get it treated yet because I can't afford to shell out $800+ for the first visit to a LLMD and hundreds and hundreds of dollars beyond that for additional visits. I'm stuck going to clinics for health care and the North Jersey clinic system is very third world-ish. My clinic internist, who is frustrated that she doesn't have the resources to treat my conditions, came out and openly stated our clinic system is crap and gives poor quality care. Before I became ill, I was not all that long out of college with plans to go to grad school, and had already taken the GRE exam. After spending a number of months helping my mom take care of my dad after he became seriously ill, as it took him quite a while to recover, I became seriously involved in the world of politics and landed a political internship which would have turned into a permanent gov't job if I hadn't been bitten by that tick which I never saw and left no bullseye rash behind. That tick ruined my future. For me, life with Lyme is about loss. Being thrown out of the middle class to live in poverty. Being dependent on relatives to get by. Having dreams, goals and ambitions go unfulfilled. Not having access to the medical care I need and instead being stuck going to poor quality inner-city type health clinics. Having a disease which makes me a medical pariah. Constantly having to educate the people in my life about lyme disease and why it makes my health continually goes down the tubes as time progresses. Life with lyme means being paid peanuts for very sporadic freelance writing jobs because you don't have the stamina and the connections to go further career-wise. Ditto with becoming an ebay seller just to have a little cash, selling collectables for less they they are worth, and selling your artwork for next to nothing because you don't have the stamina to go on the professional art and craft show circuit either. It means your talents and abilities mostly go unrecognized and unrewarded. Sorry, but I can't sugarcoat the unpleasant realities of 16 and half years spent with untreated lyme disease. > > > > Purpose = Meaning. > > > > Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > > > Thanks much! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ******* > > " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 I'm a person of faith -- and an agnostic (yes, the two can co-exist) -- but if believing in God gives me the grace to persevere and find the good in my situation, while unbelief allows me to fall into despair and let anger overtake me, I'll opt for belief over unbelief. Sara On Jan 11, 2010, at 12:13 17PM, beedwoman wrote: > Anne said: " I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God doesn't throw anything at us that we ultimately cannot handle. It may be incredibly tough, but we will get through it. " > > That's one of those concepts which makes me glad I reject organized religion. No offense, but the concept of a cruel God who purposely gives people nasty diseases which causes them years of suffering as a 'test' makes me shudder. > > I've had Lyme since I was in my 20s. I'm now 41 and still have not been able to get it treated yet because I can't afford to shell out $800+ for the first visit to a LLMD and hundreds and hundreds of dollars beyond that for additional visits. I'm stuck going to clinics for health care and the North Jersey clinic system is very third world-ish. My clinic internist, who is frustrated that she doesn't have the resources to treat my conditions, came out and openly stated our clinic system is crap and gives poor quality care. > > Before I became ill, I was not all that long out of college with plans to go to grad school, and had already taken the GRE exam. After spending a number of months helping my mom take care of my dad after he became seriously ill, as it took him quite a while to recover, I became seriously involved in the world of politics and landed a political internship which would have turned into a permanent gov't job if I hadn't been bitten by that tick which I never saw and left no bullseye rash behind. That tick ruined my future. > > For me, life with Lyme is about loss. Being thrown out of the middle class to live in poverty. Being dependent on relatives to get by. Having dreams, goals and ambitions go unfulfilled. Not having access to the medical care I need and instead being stuck going to poor quality inner-city type health clinics. Having a disease which makes me a medical pariah. Constantly having to educate the people in my life about lyme disease and why it makes my health continually goes down the tubes as time progresses. > > Life with lyme means being paid peanuts for very sporadic freelance writing jobs because you don't have the stamina and the connections to go further career-wise. Ditto with becoming an ebay seller just to have a little cash, selling collectables for less they they are worth, and selling your artwork for next to nothing because you don't have the stamina to go on the professional art and craft show circuit either. It means your talents and abilities mostly go unrecognized and unrewarded. > > Sorry, but I can't sugarcoat the unpleasant realities of 16 and half years spent with untreated lyme disease. > > > > > > >>> >>> Purpose = Meaning. >>> >>> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. >>> >>> Thanks much! >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> ******* >>> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Sara, I relate much better to some concepts in Native American spirituality. But I think it's unfair to expect people to put a positive spin on serious illnesses that mess up their lives. Barbara Ehrenreich does a good job exploring that concept and the harm it can do in her book " Bright-Sided " . In her case, it was breast cancer and bright-siding within the breast cancer community. But regardless of the condition, the 'bright-siding' of people suffering from serious illness is done in the same way. I know some people are taught to view illness, death of a loved one, job loss etc. as being a 'test from God' as a means to cope with their hardships, but I find that disconcerting (and creepy) as it makes God appear to be someone who likes to do nasty things to people and make them suffer. Whatever happened to the concept that stuff happens simply because it does? > >>> > >>> Purpose = Meaning. > >>> > >>> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > >>> > >>> Thanks much! > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> ******* > >>> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 I appreciate your bringing up this issue. I am 66 and became ill with lyme about a year after I retired. Yes, I have been frustrated, but the reality of it did not really hit me the first few months because I felt pretty good. Now, two years later, I am beginning to look of the consequences of this illness. Most of the time, I am pretty positive. I had the experience 25 years ago of having chronic fatigue syndrome [CFS] and have yet to be that sick with lyme. The gift of CFS was to learn to slow down and moderate my life so I could go on working and being a mom. Naturally, I am a very high energy hard working person. So, I am back to moderating my life. I do very little travelling even though I could afford it because it is so much work to travel. We do have an RV and I can take along all of my products [drugs, gluten-free foods, herbs, and supplements] to keep me going except a bath tub to take my epsom salt/salt baths. I cannot even imagine trying to fly with all of the restriction on carry ons and luggage weight [epsom salt is very heavy]. However, I am able to garden, knit, read, do housework, meditate, do yoga, shop, and live a fairly normal life, albeit, much more slowly. For the first time in my life, I am flirting with the reality that I will not really live to old age [my maternal grandmother lived to age 97 and my mother who has dementia is 92] as others can look to. And, maybe living to old age is not right for me. With meditation and yoga skills and I am working on living in the moment from the joy of hanging out laundry to knitting most of my Christmas gifts and reading the book, Three Cups of Tea. I try not to plan ahead and I have the advantage of having a great husband, understanding friends, wonderful grown children, a grandson, a lovely home, nice hybrid car, and [so far] fairly good insurance coverage. My physical needs are met, but I am having to give up my dreams about things I wanted to do in my retirement like travel, learning carpentry [not enough energy to do my housework, alone], lots of gardening [i can no longer turn my compost], etc. All of those dreams are falling away and I am now facing the reality of a serious chronic illness for the rest of my life. I still continue to try and grapple with this new life I am facing. However, with all of that, this last Saturday we had a 6.5 earthquake here in the north coast of California and I had no breakage while many near me lost all of their dishes and glass ware. Blessings come in strange and odd ways. That is how I am today. Tomorrow will bring another challenge. Kathleen Purpose = Meaning. Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 , I don't disagree with you. (Personally, my own beliefs have a decidedly heathen bent, largely informed by growing up on a reservation.) And I applauded Ehrenriech's " bright-siding " thesis wholeheartedly. I had a large bellyfull of earnest San Francisco Newagers gently informing me that I was sick because of my own karma, or because I didn't meditate right, or I hadn't explored my shadow side, or whatever. It's a mean and nasty form of blame-the-victim, and it's particularly infuriating coming from people who smugly present themselves as somehow more enlightened than the rest of us. It was high time for somebody to call this game out for what it is. But I take a utilitarian view of faith in situations like this. Anne's faith is making her flexible and graceful in the face of something awful. It works for her -- and that's something I would never attempt to denigrate or take away from her. I may not share her path, but I do respect the fact that it gets her through her days -- and makes many of them happier than they might have been. Whatever works is whatever works. I'm more comfortable with your belief that stuff happens, and there doesn't need to be a reason or purpose to it. That does not, however, absolve me of dealing with it with as much intelligence and grace as I can muster -- even though on some days, it ain't much. There comes a limit to how long you can be angry, and how far rage will take you before it starts degrading you. At some point, you have to accept and embrace your life as it is, and start making something positive out of it -- whether you do it because you believe it's what God requires of you, or because you require it of yourself. Sara On Jan 11, 2010, at 1:18 23PM, beedwoman wrote: > Sara, > > I relate much better to some concepts in Native American spirituality. > > But I think it's unfair to expect people to put a positive spin on serious illnesses that mess up their lives. Barbara Ehrenreich does a good job exploring that concept and the harm it can do in her book " Bright-Sided " . In her case, it was breast cancer and bright-siding within the breast cancer community. But regardless of the condition, the 'bright-siding' of people suffering from serious illness is done in the same way. > > I know some people are taught to view illness, death of a loved one, job loss etc. as being a 'test from God' as a means to cope with their hardships, but I find that disconcerting (and creepy) as it makes God appear to be someone who likes to do nasty things to people and make them suffer. > > Whatever happened to the concept that stuff happens simply because it does? > > > > > >>>>> >>>>> Purpose = Meaning. >>>>> >>>>> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. >>>>> >>>>> Thanks much! >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> ******* >>>>> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Kathleen: You are fortunate indeed. Please re-think the travel. The airlines are required to let you bring on as extras any equipment, medications, or other products that are medically necessary. I routinely bring on board a third carry-on (besides my suitcase and tote) that contains my drugs and vitamins, CPAP, and other items that are related to my health and comfort. This stuff *does not count* when they're enforcing the restrictions. The fact that I separate it all into its own bag makes it easier to insist on this rule when necessary, and avoid confusion. When flight attendants ask (and they're the only ones who care; the TSA inspectors do not count or care how many bags you bring through), I just tell them, " It's medical equipment. " They back right off. The TSA and the airlines all have their current restrictions online. Check them out, and you might be pleasantly surprised at what you find. Also: epsom salt is readily available everywhere. You might pack a 24-48 hour supply, and plan to get more when you arrive. Or else go to drugstore.com and have them send a box ahead to your destination, so it'll be waiting when you get there. You could also order up a stash of gluten-free foods this way, in addition to what you can reasonably fit in a bag. I take 4-5 trips a year, and they are the sparkle in my life. I cherish those days above all others, and will do what it takes to make them happen. Sara On Jan 11, 2010, at 1:34 32PM, KP wrote: > I appreciate your bringing up this issue. I am 66 and became ill with lyme about a year after I retired. Yes, I have been frustrated, but the reality of it did not really hit me the first few months because I felt pretty good. > > Now, two years later, I am beginning to look of the consequences of this illness. Most of the time, I am pretty positive. I had the experience 25 years ago of having chronic fatigue syndrome [CFS] and have yet to be that sick with lyme. The gift of CFS was to learn to slow down and moderate my life so I could go on working and being a mom. Naturally, I am a very high energy hard working person. > > So, I am back to moderating my life. I do very little travelling even though I could afford it because it is so much work to travel. We do have an RV and I can take along all of my products [drugs, gluten-free foods, herbs, and supplements] to keep me going except a bath tub to take my epsom salt/salt baths. I cannot even imagine trying to fly with all of the restriction on carry ons and luggage weight [epsom salt is very heavy]. > > However, I am able to garden, knit, read, do housework, meditate, do yoga, shop, and live a fairly normal life, albeit, much more slowly. For the first time in my life, I am flirting with the reality that I will not really live to old age [my maternal grandmother lived to age 97 and my mother who has dementia is 92] as others can look to. And, maybe living to old age is not right for me. > > With meditation and yoga skills and I am working on living in the moment from the joy of hanging out laundry to knitting most of my Christmas gifts and reading the book, Three Cups of Tea. I try not to plan ahead and I have the advantage of having a great husband, understanding friends, wonderful grown children, a grandson, a lovely home, nice hybrid car, and [so far] fairly good insurance coverage. My physical needs are met, but I am having to give up my dreams about things I wanted to do in my retirement like travel, learning carpentry [not enough energy to do my housework, alone], lots of gardening [i can no longer turn my compost], etc. > > All of those dreams are falling away and I am now facing the reality of a serious chronic illness for the rest of my life. I still continue to try and grapple with this new life I am facing. However, with all of that, this last Saturday we had a 6.5 earthquake here in the north coast of California and I had no breakage while many near me lost all of their dishes and glass ware. Blessings come in strange and odd ways. > > That is how I am today. Tomorrow will bring another challenge. > > Kathleen > > > > Purpose = Meaning. Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? > > > > ------------------------------------ > > Lyme Disease News continually updated from thousands of sources around the > net: http://www.topix.net/health/lyme-disease > > MedWorm: The latest items on: Lyme Disease > http://tinyurl.com/23dgy8 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 - I can absolutely appreciate your points below. I often struggle with why bad things happen to people and why God would allow it. I have had a number of very tough experiences in my life. Each time I've questioned how I would possibly get through it. I maintained my faith in God and ultimately a bad situation turned out positive in the long run. Sometimes it happened rather quickly, other times it took a very long time. Nonetheless, I learned valuable things from each experience and ultimately became a stronger, better person as a result. I don't believe so much that God is " testing " me but rather helping me grow as a person. Anne > > >>> > > >>> Purpose = Meaning. > > >>> > > >>> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. > > >>> > > >>> Thanks much! > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> ******* > > >>> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 Sara, I appreciate the information. I make up half gallons of herb tea that I use in a week--I cannot imagine being able to carry those big containers onto an airplane. I used to do it all of the time. Pre-lyme, I also had a very bad experience travelling to Hawaii in 2003 where I was patted down coming and going where they allowed my husband to carry a pocket knife onboard. Why? Probably because I was actively involved in the peace movement. I used to travel all of the time pre 9/11 by plane since my son worked for a major airline. I cannot believe how difficult air travel has become. When I last travelled on public transportation, I used the train and bus but that was in 2004, long before lyme. Besides travel is now way too much work. Just getting ready to leave for an RV trip is exhausting with lyme. Kathleen > > Kathleen: You are fortunate indeed. > > Please re-think the travel. The airlines are required to let you bring on as extras any equipment, medications, or other products that are medically necessary. I routinely bring on board a third carry-on (besides my suitcase and tote) that contains my drugs and vitamins, CPAP, and other items that are related to my health and comfort. This stuff *does not count* when they're enforcing the restrictions. The fact that I separate it all into its own bag makes it easier to insist on this rule when necessary, and avoid confusion. When flight attendants ask (and they're the only ones who care; the TSA inspectors do not count or care how many bags you bring through), I just tell them, " It's medical equipment. " They back right off. > > The TSA and the airlines all have their current restrictions online. Check them out, and you might be pleasantly surprised at what you find. > > Also: epsom salt is readily available everywhere. You might pack a 24-48 hour supply, and plan to get more when you arrive. Or else go to drugstore.com and have them send a box ahead to your destination, so it'll be waiting when you get there. You could also order up a stash of gluten-free foods this way, in addition to what you can reasonably fit in a bag. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 We're suppose to feel blessed not that we have a cruel disease but that god thought thinks of us as ready to face such a cruel disease! Its like a compliment, he's saying he believes we're ready for such a trial, and we should take it with grace and using his strength and copying his perseverance and love, we can get through it and show the rest of the world who's boss! We are simply vessels on this earth, so to be aloud to borrow strength and power from such a majestic soul is enlightening :-) that's just the way i look at it anyway. Everyone sees it differently, but truly its proven in my life that Lyme coming into my life has brought me to horses, and boyfriend, friends, doctors, desires, schooling, and things that would have never happened if i hadn't gotten sick! That's part of the way i can be thankful for it, and with such a positive attitude it makes me happier to persevere through gods test of my faith, because I know I can pass any test or temptation he throws at me! :-D Elaina > Anne said: " I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God doesn't throw anything at us that we ultimately cannot handle. It may be incredibly tough, but we will get through it. " > > That's one of those concepts which makes me glad I reject organized religion. No offense, but the concept of a cruel God who purposely gives people nasty diseases which causes them years of suffering as a 'test' makes me shudder. > > I've had Lyme since I was in my 20s. I'm now 41 and still have not been able to get it treated yet because I can't afford to shell out $800+ for the first visit to a LLMD and hundreds and hundreds of dollars beyond that for additional visits. I'm stuck going to clinics for health care and the North Jersey clinic system is very third world-ish. My clinic internist, who is frustrated that she doesn't have the resources to treat my conditions, came out and openly stated our clinic system is crap and gives poor quality care. > > Before I became ill, I was not all that long out of college with plans to go to grad school, and had already taken the GRE exam. After spending a number of months helping my mom take care of my dad after he became seriously ill, as it took him quite a while to recover, I became seriously involved in the world of politics and landed a political internship which would have turned into a permanent gov't job if I hadn't been bitten by that tick which I never saw and left no bullseye rash behind. That tick ruined my future. > > For me, life with Lyme is about loss. Being thrown out of the middle class to live in poverty. Being dependent on relatives to get by. Having dreams, goals and ambitions go unfulfilled. Not having access to the medical care I need and instead being stuck going to poor quality inner-city type health clinics. Having a disease which makes me a medical pariah. Constantly having to educate the people in my life about lyme disease and why it makes my health continually goes down the tubes as time progresses. > > Life with lyme means being paid peanuts for very sporadic freelance writing jobs because you don't have the stamina and the connections to go further career-wise. Ditto with becoming an ebay seller just to have a little cash, selling collectables for less they they are worth, and selling your artwork for next to nothing because you don't have the stamina to go on the professional art and craft show circuit either. It means your talents and abilities mostly go unrecognized and unrewarded. > > Sorry, but I can't sugarcoat the unpleasant realities of 16 and half years spent with untreated lyme disease. > > > > > > >>> >>> Purpose = Meaning. >>> >>> Have you found meaning in your sickness and pain? If so, please share. >>> >>> Thanks much! >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> ******* >>> " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 , Keep your heads up, scientist is on the works to find cure for us.Lymees.Please write your novel, and post it here so we can supoort your book. Lonera. From: C-H <kuriouserx2@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning Date: Monday, January 11, 2010, 11:14 AM Thanks to everyone who's responded. I really appreciate your opening up like this.  Lissa, please don't apologize for your " rant. "  These are your feelings and you must be able to express them here. We can't recover from anything we can't name or express.  For me, this is the first time in many years that I have felt this level of powerlessness. Awful feeling. It awakens all past such feelings. I have to believe that something meaningful will come out of this. I'm a rape survivor and, though I would never want to repeat the ordeal, I was, eventually, able to use my experience to help others and to grow in compassion and understanding. So, I know that chance exists here.  I like to joke that what doesn't kill me will make for one hell of a novel. I'd been trying to work on some sort of spiritual/self- help thing, but it just won't come. In the past, I've been able to express myself well via fiction and I have an idea that's been building regarding the Lyme experience. I think it could do a lot of good. I'm at the making notes/researching/ talking to loved ones about it stage. Characters building in my head. Plot developing slowly. This could be what I've been needing.  Again, thank you all for your frank and sincere sharing.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2010 Report Share Posted January 11, 2010 (et al), I was raised Catholic and spent a few years as an Episcopalian at a point on my journey. I'm now a practicing Pagan, with a Wiccan bent. I do not accept that God/Goddess had anything at all to do with my getting Lyme. In fact, I have had to try to get that idea away from my husband, who is still healing and hurting from that sort of idea. It happened. It just happened and it sucks. An Episcopal priest said to me years ago that God does not cause evil in order to bring about good. Just not done. If I can bring good out of the situation, he explained, that is my response to God's love. I liked that. I want to bring meaning from this horror that has no meaning in and of itself. I believe I can call on my Mother and Father's blessings to help me do that. ******* " Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " - Viktor l From: beedwoman <beedwoman@...> Subject: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning Date: Monday, January 11, 2010, 4:18 PM Sara, I relate much better to some concepts in Native American spirituality. But I think it's unfair to expect people to put a positive spin on serious illnesses that mess up their lives. Barbara Ehrenreich does a good job exploring that concept and the harm it can do in her book " Bright-Sided " . In her case, it was breast cancer and bright-siding within the breast cancer community. But regardless of the condition, the 'bright-siding' of people suffering from serious illness is done in the same way. I know some people are taught to view illness, death of a loved one, job loss etc. as being a 'test from God' as a means to cope with their hardships, but I find that disconcerting (and creepy) as it makes God appear to be someone who likes to do nasty things to people and make them suffer. Whatever happened to the concept that stuff happens simply because it does? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2010 Report Share Posted January 12, 2010 Sara, Thanks for the vote of confidence and inspiration. Darn your fanboy story, now I'll be researching healthcare careers instead of Lyme cures!!!! I hope your herx is becoming manageable. I have an app't with my LLMD today and biofilm weapons are on my agenda. I was planning to ask about serrapeptase but due to the recent research, now I will ask about lumbrokinase as well. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2010 Report Share Posted January 12, 2010 nice posts ________________________________ From: Sara <srobinson@...> Sent: Mon, January 11, 2010 4:56:40 PM Subject: Re: [ ] Re: Purpose & Meaning  , I don't disagree with you. (Personally, my own beliefs have a decidedly heathen bent, largely informed by growing up on a reservation. ) And I applauded Ehrenriech's " bright-siding " thesis wholeheartedly. I had a large bellyfull of earnest San Francisco Newagers gently informing me that I was sick because of my own karma, or because I didn't meditate right, or I hadn't explored my shadow side, or whatever. It's a mean and nasty form of blame-the-victim, and it's particularly infuriating coming from people who smugly present themselves as somehow more enlightened than the rest of us. It was high time for somebody to call this game out for what it is. But I take a utilitarian view of faith in situations like this. Anne's faith is making her flexible and graceful in the face of something awful. It works for her -- and that's something I would never attempt to denigrate or take away from her. I may not share her path, but I do respect the fact that it gets her through her days -- and makes many of them happier than they might have been. Whatever works is whatever works. I'm more comfortable with your belief that stuff happens, and there doesn't need to be a reason or purpose to it. That does not, however, absolve me of dealing with it with as much intelligence and grace as I can muster -- even though on some days, it ain't much. There comes a limit to how long you can be angry, and how far rage will take you before it starts degrading you. At some point, you have to accept and embrace your life as it is, and start making something positive out of it -- whether you do it because you believe it's what God requires of you, or because you require it of yourself. Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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