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well now i have more to vent about. today i was diagnosed with shingles. 6

days before my trip. i am taking valtrex and he also gave me anti-fungal for

yeast. talk about a sick stomach!! then at 5 pm i get a call from the

transmission shop, that i will have to put about $900 into the car. work doesn't

want me

to work the rest of the week because of the shingles and the older population

at our clinic. so i will lose almost 20 hrs of pay! did i mention that

yesterday would've been my 25th wedding anninversary?!?! kathy in il

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well now i have more to vent about. today i was diagnosed with shingles. 6

days before my trip. i am taking valtrex and he also gave me anti-fungal for

yeast. talk about a sick stomach!! then at 5 pm i get a call from the

transmission shop, that i will have to put about $900 into the car. work doesn't

want me

to work the rest of the week because of the shingles and the older population

at our clinic. so i will lose almost 20 hrs of pay! did i mention that

yesterday would've been my 25th wedding anninversary?!?! kathy in il

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You poor dear, Kathy! I am so sorry about all the new bad developments.

Hope you can rest and get better and not worry about the money.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

Re: [ ] venting

>

> well now i have more to vent about. today i was diagnosed with

shingles. 6

> days before my trip. i am taking valtrex and he also gave me

anti-fungal for

> yeast. talk about a sick stomach!! then at 5 pm i get a call from the

> transmission shop, that i will have to put about $900 into the car.

work doesn't want me

> to work the rest of the week because of the shingles and the older

population

> at our clinic. so i will lose almost 20 hrs of pay! did i mention that

> yesterday would've been my 25th wedding anninversary?!?! kathy in il

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You poor dear, Kathy! I am so sorry about all the new bad developments.

Hope you can rest and get better and not worry about the money.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

Re: [ ] venting

>

> well now i have more to vent about. today i was diagnosed with

shingles. 6

> days before my trip. i am taking valtrex and he also gave me

anti-fungal for

> yeast. talk about a sick stomach!! then at 5 pm i get a call from the

> transmission shop, that i will have to put about $900 into the car.

work doesn't want me

> to work the rest of the week because of the shingles and the older

population

> at our clinic. so i will lose almost 20 hrs of pay! did i mention that

> yesterday would've been my 25th wedding anninversary?!?! kathy in il

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Oh poo Kathy. When it rains it pours. Shingles are so painful. It's bad

enough you're suffering with the plantar warts. I hope you feel better

quickly and can get back to work soon.

a

>

> well now i have more to vent about. today i was diagnosed with shingles. 6

> days before my trip. i am taking valtrex and he also gave me anti-fungal for

> yeast. talk about a sick stomach!! then at 5 pm i get a call from the

> transmission shop, that i will have to put about $900 into the car. work

> doesn't want me

> to work the rest of the week because of the shingles and the older population

> at our clinic. so i will lose almost 20 hrs of pay! did i mention that

> yesterday would've been my 25th wedding anninversary?!?! kathy in il

>

>

>

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Oh poo Kathy. When it rains it pours. Shingles are so painful. It's bad

enough you're suffering with the plantar warts. I hope you feel better

quickly and can get back to work soon.

a

>

> well now i have more to vent about. today i was diagnosed with shingles. 6

> days before my trip. i am taking valtrex and he also gave me anti-fungal for

> yeast. talk about a sick stomach!! then at 5 pm i get a call from the

> transmission shop, that i will have to put about $900 into the car. work

> doesn't want me

> to work the rest of the week because of the shingles and the older population

> at our clinic. so i will lose almost 20 hrs of pay! did i mention that

> yesterday would've been my 25th wedding anninversary?!?! kathy in il

>

>

>

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  • 1 month later...

Wow Mickey...Your wife did one bang up job! She should write a book and it

could become a best seller...lol. Seriously, I agree with you. We are put

into " roles " according to our sex as we grow up. It's ok if the roles are

of our own choosing, but when you are forced into one, it really does stink.

The problem is some women go from an abusive home life to an abusive

husband. They never see the connection or even think they are in a bad way.

I've had friends who I want to scream at who just think that's the way

things are done...regardless of the century. I have a great friend who used

to do all the " female roles " to the limit of all her friends. Her husband

never told her how much money he made, every night she cooked and cleaned

the house, he would ask before dinner how much per plate tonight's meal was

going to be, he never did laundry, housework, childcare, or even yard work.

After 25 years, she finally woke up one day and left him. He is still in

shock over it today...lol. She has a great guy now that worships her, and I

think she is happy. I've learned to take my friends the way they come.

Sometimes I don't like the people they choose, but unless they are in an

abusive relationship (like she was) I keep my mouth shut.

When I raised my girls, I brought them up to believe that girls were smarter

than boys...lol. Neither one of them are needy or even have a huge desire

to rush off and get married. School is the most important thing for both of

them right now, and their careers. Sometimes I hope I did the right thing,

but I never wanted them to believe that they needed a man to be happy. Wow,

I'm really going over board here. All I really meant to say, is your wife

sound just great...lol.

Take care. Love, Fran

PS...You sound a little bit better????? Sure hope so.

[ ] Venting

I'm one of the lucky ones that had a pretty well trained spouse before I

got

this disabling disease.

Hi Liz

Are you sure you're not genetically linked to my wife!! Lol

She sounds so like you its scary!! Kathy can we check her e-mail just to

make sure it's not her!

But seriously I agree.

Why shouldn't I do my share around the house?

I was reading one of the posts the other day when someone was talking

about

their great boyfriend who

helps with the washing, helps put out the bins, and gee he even does some

cooking !! I nearly chocked on my frosties! Lol

Do they not realize that it's his job too as well? Not a woman's? It's as

if

men want an award when they have just put out the bins?

I don't here my wife coming in and saying Micky guess what I just done the

Ironing?? Or hey I just gave the kids a shower and smile and think gee I'm

great??

I know what her answer would be if she read that, as I have it ingrained

on

my brain from like you say, years of training lol

she would say just because you have a pair of balls doesn't mean you can't

pick up an iron young man!! lol now get out there and work boy!

Do I respect her? yes

Do I think that it's her job? hell no

Do I try and get away with some chores? yes

Do I get away with it? Hell no

Any woman that puts up with that Bullshit from a man needs to seriously

reconsider what sort of relationship they have?

I know some women of a certain age like to look after there men

completely,

but come on this is the 21st century. that's what a mum is for, not a wife

or a partner. Remember one thing! Men need telling! If we get an inch we

take a country mile, including getting out of household chores! It's up to

you fine ladies to train us well !

Micky

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Boy, oh boy, you are two lucky guys to get dames like us......! Just think

how boring life would have been with little subservient gals that fetched

your slippers and walked three feet behind!

Liz

Hi Liz

Are you sure you're not genetically linked to my wife!! Lol

She sounds so like you its scary!! Kathy can we check her e-mail just to

make sure it's not her!

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Well said Micky.

I'm glad you are doing a bit better this week. Don't ever worry about being

on a downer in this group. As you said, you can be going along, coping with

this disease and then it slaps you down again, but you know that you can

certainly let us know how you are feeling, good or bad.

Hope things are good today,

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  • 1 year later...

m> No one offered us a place to stay, no one paid our hotel bills

m> or brought us food, or even thought again as to what might

m> happen to us or where we might go.

This condition is so hard for the average person to comprehend. That's

why there isn't help or empathy.

m> I also cry uncontrollably, and I don't know if I will ever overcome

m> the pain. Do you know if you can overcome your pain and loss?

Yes, it takes a while, but it can be overcome to some extent. With

God, all things are possible.

m> Has anyone offered any of you a place to stay until you can recover

m> from your pain and loss? Has anyone brought food to you, or brought

m> your medicine? Has anyone given you a vehicle or put you into

m> business or given you a monthly check, or better yet, have you seen

m> an insurance payment?

Most of us haven't. Only when I had hypersensitivity pneumonitis did

my friends and church family help out.

m> I read on our group a person is living in a tent !! I can relate to

m> that, because when we had to leave our house all we had was a 15

m> foot camper and we pitched a tent beside it to have a place to cook

m> and sit. Where is FEMA? Where is the RED CROSS? Where is the

m> National News Media? I read that one of our young mold victims has

m> passed away. Will there be any National News about this horrible

m> tragedy?

The media is just beginning to recognize the severity of the problem

and is finally beginning to print the stories about it. The medical

community is still for the most part horse-blinded. The political

and corporate arenas won't touch it because of the remediation that

would need to be done. Schools are the only institutions that seem to

be progressive about mold. The insurers have now opted to reduce their

risks by eliminating mold in their clauses. I'm beginning to wonder

what, if anything, they do cover these days. Someone needs to launch a

major investigation into the insurance fraud. No one will tell you who

the underwriters are, but you can bet that they know everything about

you.

m> Does anyone have any ideas as to how we can reach out and contact

m> more mold victims? Maybe we could bond together someway and help

m> each other. After all it seems to me (from sitting on the side

m> lines) that each other are all we have. People who have not been

m> through this cannot understand.

There are many people on this list who are able to proactively

coordinate political pressure tactics and other events, but the big

problem is that most of us are ailing and have very little energy.

m> I am interested to hear any ideas anyone might have. I am also

m> interested to hear if any of you have the same feelings as I do

m> regarding the way we are being treated.

Of course we do. It's frustrating, humiliating (when friends and

family think you're a lazy lying dropout), and depressing. Just keep

the faith, do what you can to enlighten the world about the illness,

keep as busy as your energy allows you to, and try not to dwell on the

negatives and how this has brought you down. I had to give my relief

efforts maybe one day a week or it would take its toll on me.

m> May the love of Jesus Christ surround you and protect you at this

m> special time of year.

m> Merry Christmas Everyone

m> Jane

Thank you Jane. Wishing you and yours the same. I pray often for

those on this list who are ailing. I know that help is just around the

corner.

Pat

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miffyj2002 <miffyj2002@...> wrote:

>I post this message because I feel like a Vietnam Vet. >Although my

>heart goes out to the victims of Katrina and other disasters, >what

>about the victims of mold DISASTERS.

>

>We are treated the same as the poor Vietnam Vets. We are >ignored

>and left to die.

Try Gulf War Illness. Different poisoning, same treatment. They're like us,

too, only with medical coverage and their own support groups.

>I read today they are bringing in special dogs to help soothe >the

>pain of the victims of Katrina. Where's our special dog? I >read

>that some of those poor people cry uncontrollably and will >suffer

>mental anguish for years to come and some will never overcome >the

>pain they indured.

Yes, they cry. But it's not all mental anguish. They're sick from mold, too.

And are being told " It's just Katrina Cough. It'll go away. " Special dogs don't

fix mold illness. They aren't different from us. They are us. It's just that a

lot of them don't know it yet.

>I also cry uncontrollably, and I don't know if I will ever >overcome

>the pain. Do you know if you can overcome your pain and >loss?

Yes. You can. But it takes good medical care and an understanding that your

life has changed forever. Not that the losses aren't very, very real. They are.

It's ok to grieve them. But you sound depressed, and that's part of the illness.

>Has anyone offered any of you a place to stay until you can >recover

>from your pain and loss? Has anyone brought food to you, or >brought

>your medicine? Has anyone given you a vehicle or put you >into

>business or given you a monthly check, or better yet, have >you seen

>an insurance payment?

Yes, no, yes, no, no, yes, yes. I have a policy that's paying off, but I have

to fight them every step of the way. A friend offered me quarters, but I stayed

where I'm at. A pharmacy that delivers is almost indispenable. I've won a few

and lost a few, and more to go. But I don't stop fighting. I'm not immortal, but

I'm mighty hard to kill. Be hard to kill. It makes 'em crazy! : )

>Where is FEMA? Where is the RED CROSS? Where is the

>National News Media? I read that one of our young mold >victims has

>passed away. Will there be any National News about this >horrible

>tragedy?

FEMA hasn't even taken care of the Katrina/Rita people, so you can imagine

what our chances are. Big Media takes its cues from government press

conferences,so, you know.

>There is power in numbers. I have read for the past 4 years >on this

>post of all the things you all have tried to do and nothing >has

>helped.

That's not entirely true. Some of us would probably be dead now, were it not

for this group. It does help. And there are people working behind the scenes to

get things done. Just because you didn't see it on CNN doesn't mean it isn't

happening. Slowwwwly, but it's happening.

>Does anyone have any ideas as to how we can reach out and >contact

>more mold victims? Maybe we could bond together someway and >help

>each other. After all it seems to me (from sitting on the >side

>lines) that each other are all we have. People who have not >been

>through this cannot understand.

Yes, there are things anyone can do. You talk to people you meet about it. You

keep writing the letters, because every once in a while, they do get read. You

get online, and when you have the chance to support someone who's in worse shape

than you, you do it. When you can, you learn more about this thing, so you can

fight better and help educate others who don't understand what hit them. You

post links to this group when you're elsewhere online, in case someone there

needs us. You get one of Elvira's teeshirts and see if you can draw attention to

it. It isn't in the Big Whopping Global Mold Awareness we all wish would happen.

It's in the details - the little things you do about it each day you feel well

enough to do something. Some days, it seems like we aren't getting anywhere.

Other days, you see something work, and you get all happy. Just like in real

life. Stayed tuned. Another post follows, and thanks, because you just inspired

it.

Serena

There is no such thing as an anomaly. Recheck your original premise.

...Ayn Rand,

paraphrased

__________________________________________________

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Hi Jane,

I too, feel the same way. I hope you are in a better

situation than you were 4 years ago. As a mold victim

myself, I near lost my life and definitely all my

financial security that I worked my entire life for.

I ask myself the same questions about the pain and

loss, and how to overcome the anger at the injustice

of it all...my mold situation was covered up by the

condo board and they are still selling the condos to

unwary buyers for 500K. I get furious even thinking

about that. I try to do my part in small ways for

what that is worth. I occasionaly write letters to

editors about the misinformation they are publishing.

The media seems like a hopeless bunch, since they are

so controlled by the government, I have not yet heard

of a reporter who has the guts to tell it like it is.

The court doesn't really work for many of us either.

They delay and delay, hoping you will die or go away,

then there is the prospect of appeal in after a mold

case is won. I don't know any of the answers either,

of constantly living with injustice.....the holidays

seem to make the feelings more intense. Here's hoping

for a better year for all of us.

Dotty

--- miffyj2002 <miffyj2002@...> wrote:

> I post this message because I feel like a Vietnam

> Vet. Although my

> heart goes out to the victims of Katrina and other

> disasters, what

> about the victims of mold DISASTERS.

>

> We are treated the same as the poor Vietnam Vets.

> We are ignored

> and left to die.

>

> My husband and I had to leave everything 4 years ago

> he was 62 and I

> was 55. He had had a stroke and heart attack caused

> from the mold

> although no one will admit it. He could no longer

> work and I got

> fired from my job on Tuesday after we had to leave

> our home on

> Saturday. We had no income. We had no safety net.

> No one offered

> us a place to stay, no one paid our hotel bills or

> brought us food,

> or even thought again as to what might happen to us

> or where we

> might go.

>

> I read today they are bringing in special dogs to

> help soothe the

> pain of the victims of Katrina. Where's our special

> dog? I read

> that some of those poor people cry uncontrollably

> and will suffer

> mental anguish for years to come and some will never

> overcome the

> pain they indured.

>

> I also cry uncontrollably, and I don't know if I

> will ever overcome

> the pain. Do you know if you can overcome your pain

> and loss?

>

> Has anyone offered any of you a place to stay until

> you can recover

> from your pain and loss? Has anyone brought food to

> you, or brought

> your medicine? Has anyone given you a vehicle or

> put you into

> business or given you a monthly check, or better

> yet, have you seen

> an insurance payment?

>

> I read on our group a person is living in a tent !!

> I can relate to

> that, because when we had to leave our house all we

> had was a 15

> foot camper and we pitched a tent beside it to have

> a place to cook

> and sit. Where is FEMA? Where is the RED CROSS?

> Where is the

> National News Media? I read that one of our young

> mold victims has

> passed away. Will there be any National News about

> this horrible

> tragedy?

>

> There is power in numbers. I have read for the past

> 4 years on this

> post of all the things you all have tried to do and

> nothing has

> helped.

>

> Does anyone have any ideas as to how we can reach

> out and contact

> more mold victims? Maybe we could bond together

> someway and help

> each other. After all it seems to me (from sitting

> on the side

> lines) that each other are all we have. People who

> have not been

> through this cannot understand.

>

> Maybe our personal tragedy's have happened to bring

> us together to

> help each other.

>

> I am interested to hear any ideas anyone might have.

> I am also

> interested to hear if any of you have the same

> feelings as I do

> regarding the way we are being treated.

>

> May the love of Jesus Christ surround you and

> protect you at this

> special time of year.

>

> Merry Christmas Everyone

>

> Jane

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

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  • 2 weeks later...

Carol, I am so sorry you are having so much trouble and it is awful

when a doctor acts like he wishes we would go away! My cousin is a

widow and a couple years ago she was only taking vitamins for her

rheumatoid arthritis. She could barely get around. She was sooooo

miserable. She was afraid of the new meds. She had been tried on

MTX but she had the lung problems with it that some people have.

Well, last summer she bit the bullet and took some prednisone that

really helped but not enough so she FINALLY went to a rheumy and he

helped her get her Enbrel free. Some pharmacies can help you with

it and I am thinking I saw on here a week or so ago where someone

posted a website where you could try to qualify. My cousin says the

Enbrel has given her her life back and though she still has the

deformities in her joints she can now clean her own home and cook

her own meals and have some semblance of a life. Check with you

pharmacist. If you are on Medicare you could get on Remicade and it

will pay for that med because it is considered a procedure because

of having to be done in a doctors clinic with an RN by you side

while you are infused with the drug. One of my husband's co-workers

is taking Remicade and he said he could tell a difference as soon as

he left the doctors clinic when he had had the infusion! He said it

made the difference in him being able to continue to work. Please

don't give up! Check with your pharmacist if they have heard of the

drug makers giving people the meds free. Hopefully someone will

chime in here with the website to qualify or get info for the free

meds! Good luck and God Bless!

Sharon

>

> I'm afraid I have just about got to the point of no return. I have

been on

> Vioxx, Bextra, Celebrex; Mobic .Lodine, ect ect. I still ache all

the time,

> The drugs are all dangerous non effective or to exspensive to even

try. I

>>

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  • 1 month later...

You may consider sending the "powers that be" a certified letter stating your request and cc the teachers union.. Give them the specifics and a timeline to respond - if they do not respond in the time given (I suggest giving them about 30 days) - then I would consult with an attorney! Good Luck!! Ken.SuzanneB <bahadreama@...> wrote: gee, I am really angry this morning. Today, I didn't get to work early enough to get a parking space (I was early but apparently not early enough) Sooooooooo, I took out my cell phone and called in sick. This really makes me angry because we only have 5 disability parking spaces and at least 10 teachers with permits. The regular parking lot is very far away. Where would I go to file a complaint? I have already

talked to the administrators at my school (one of whom was standing in the parking lot this morning and shrugged his shoulders when I asked him what I should do). I am seriously thinking about getting either a power scooter or an inexpensive wheelchair. Any recommendations? I definitely overdid it this weekend and was dreading the walk to my classroom from the disability parking area. There was no way in hell I am going to park in the lot that is far from the building. Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

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Suzanne,

I think in our small community my approach would be to contact the

building department or the local planning board and explain what has

happened and see who they send you too. I am guessing, but not sure,

that there is a formula to deteremin how many spots a particular

type of organization might need.

Alternativly, I would write a letter to whomever the governing body

of your school is. I would provide them with the factual information

that there are insufficient hanidcapped spaces to accomodate the

number of handicapped employees and ask what steps they will take to

rememdy the situation. I would be nice, but firm.

You also may have access to a Union representative that might be

able to quickly help you cut across the red tape if you are in a

covered position.

Lastly, you could hire a lawyer. If there are 10 employees that need

handicapped access and they have only provided 5, I doubt they are

in compliance with all laws and statuates.

An administrator just shrugging his shoulders hardly cuts it does it?

Sorry your day started so badly, Cam

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well, I now have a new scooter (well, slightly used--I took the demo

model for some savings). Now, I just need to work out a plan for

getting it in and out of my car.

which is another point about the parking places at work -- they do

not meet the legal requirements for width of disability parking. I

usually can get in and out of the car much easier if I can open my

door fully (something I hadn't really noticed until we got the new

parking lot). I have been parking more to the right, so I have more

room to get in and out, but I noticed today that the passenger door

of my car is getting pretty banged up.

the school where I worked a few years ago did not have any

handicapped parking at all until I agitated for a space and a ramp.

The union told me at that time that they only deal with contract

issues -- not legal issues. I inquired with the election board as

to how they could hold elections in our school since we did not have

a ramp and the parking lot was surrounded by curbs. Their response

was to move the polling site.

I emailed the superintendent of schools and mentioned that in

addition to making my life difficult, I thought that the school may

face some legal accountability. The very next day, two guys were at

my classroom door asking where I wanted my parking space.

I had no clue that I had so many disabled colleagues. You would

never guess from seeing them walk around. I wonder how many of them

are using permits issued to elderly parents (I know at least one of

them is -- but she claims that her doctor offered her a temporary

permit for one year after having a hysterectomy)

One reason I haven't agitated before today, is that the way the

school and the parking lot is built, I can't imagine where they

could put more handicapped spaces that would really help. That's

one reason I went ahead and bought a scooter (and I am trying not to

think of all the other ways I could have spent $800). Now, if I

press to have some wider spots painted and marked in the regular

parking lot, I will at least be able to make it to the building

(unless it is rainy).

Perhaps having to scramble to find somebody else to teach my classes

today will make a good point (and hopefully not that I need to find

a different job).

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So glad to hear you got a scooter! There are days I soooooo want

one! I hope you work things out getting it into and out of your car.

I think Carole is our " local " expert on that.

Question: Are there any students in wheelchairs at your school? If

so they would need extra wide parking slots unless they all arrive

by bus. HEY would they let you ride the student handicapped bus?

Just trying to think outside the box since they aren't being very

helpful!

Kathy

>

> well, I now have a new scooter (well, slightly used--I took the

demo

> model for some savings). Now, I just need to work out a plan for

> getting it in and out of my car.

>

> which is another point about the parking places at work -- they do

> not meet the legal requirements for width of disability parking.

I

> usually can get in and out of the car much easier if I can open my

> door fully (something I hadn't really noticed until we got the new

> parking lot). I have been parking more to the right, so I have

more

> room to get in and out, but I noticed today that the passenger

door

> of my car is getting pretty banged up.

>

> the school where I worked a few years ago did not have any

> handicapped parking at all until I agitated for a space and a

ramp.

> The union told me at that time that they only deal with contract

> issues -- not legal issues. I inquired with the election board as

> to how they could hold elections in our school since we did not

have

> a ramp and the parking lot was surrounded by curbs. Their

response

> was to move the polling site.

>

> I emailed the superintendent of schools and mentioned that in

> addition to making my life difficult, I thought that the school

may

> face some legal accountability. The very next day, two guys were

at

> my classroom door asking where I wanted my parking space.

>

> I had no clue that I had so many disabled colleagues. You would

> never guess from seeing them walk around. I wonder how many of

them

> are using permits issued to elderly parents (I know at least one

of

> them is -- but she claims that her doctor offered her a temporary

> permit for one year after having a hysterectomy)

>

> One reason I haven't agitated before today, is that the way the

> school and the parking lot is built, I can't imagine where they

> could put more handicapped spaces that would really help. That's

> one reason I went ahead and bought a scooter (and I am trying not

to

> think of all the other ways I could have spent $800). Now, if I

> press to have some wider spots painted and marked in the regular

> parking lot, I will at least be able to make it to the building

> (unless it is rainy).

>

> Perhaps having to scramble to find somebody else to teach my

classes

> today will make a good point (and hopefully not that I need to

find

> a different job).

>

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SB,

Oh the challenges of being in the most important job ever! Hang in

there. I know your tenacity first-hand and you, my friend, will get

this worked out.

Congrats on the new scooter. Can I play with it?

kam

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  • 1 month later...
Guest guest

Michele, I can not write much today or haven't been able to write much because my arms hurt so bad. I have been spending time in the sauna everyday, so I assume it is because I am stirring things up. I just wanted to tell you that I you are not alone. Everyday I think to myself "why did I do this to my family." My husband is so great, and like yours is optomistic about our future. I don't know the worries of my kids' health because I waited until I had all mine before I got my implants. I do know how to cry till I am mad. That is my MO. First I cry, then I get depressed, then I get mad, then I move on and do something. This is all usually in one day, so I get it out of the way. We have not gone through this for nothing, you have a purpose! And so do I. Thank you for reminding me I am not alone in my feelings. Lmassage_shell <sea_shell81@...> wrote: HI all! well today was a tuff day.Good thing is i didnt have brain fog today!!!It was like everything came crashing down on me. I know we all have are days .Today i got my surgery report and pathology report.Well it hit me hard today.What the heck did i do to myself. What if something happens to me or my girls. There my litle blessing.You know kids seem to know things.Both my girls never wanted to nurse on my left breast.My left breast never got as much milk .I knew somthing was wrong when my 20 moths old didnt want it at all. I think i stop nursing in oct or nov in 2005. My girls are fine though.They rarely get sick. we live in arizona not to far from vegas but i notice since we moved to this town.There are lots of sick kids

.. I know it the water supply.There is a nuclear test site up in nevada.I know all that get in are water.I have filter and do all i can to clean the water.I so pray god will send us back where we use to live .And we would be still in arizona.ugh back to brest infection Dr kolb said i did have a breast infection on left breast but it was gone when she open me up.But when i read the surgery report it said i still has a breast infection. confused.But i know i have a breast infection now.Im getting the same pain i had before.It not pain that would stop you in your tracks .I just can feel something. I know what to do for it .I feel im very intune with my body .Like when people say you need to listen to your body. I do. i just need to be real strict with everything in my diet again and i need some more FYi and Rm 10.I have the essiac tea but keep forgeting to make it. i need to do tomorrow.Money has been tight

since the surgery.I feel bad because it seem im adding stress to my husband. He said dont worry michele we will get thru this. God will take care of us.He very glad i got them out .He want me to get better. iknow he glad because my moods are so different. . he felt he was walking on egg shell but he said he doesnt feel like that anymore. The angry seem s to be gone. I would get angry at things .But now i cry my husband said well that what you normally do when something upset you.But then after a while you dont cry anymore you get angry.harden heart.God sure has work some miracles in me. I know things will get better and im trusting in God thru all this.But im human .I want to have a life.Not to feel i cant go anyplace or see people.I think another reason im having a hard time easter coming up and we will go to my husband family and we have to stay at there house.Some of the smells just kill me .But more and

more there understanding.I just want to have a good time.Sometime a good cry helps me then it like it all comes together. venting helps me to. thank you for letting me vent and thank you for all you guys do. God was watching out for me.I starting question implants not to long ago and that when i did my research on mercola and starting asking question at my doctor.Im glad ilena had info there.Where would i be now.This was hard for me to post but i know you all understandgood night god bless hugs michele

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