Re: No more stones to turn

[Guest guest]

Thanks Roe,

Thanks for reminding me that I am a fighter.......I'm finding it real

difficult this time to get back up.....

.....I cringe at the very words........ " Lyme Disease " .

Just when my life was getting back to normal.....another fu....ing tick

drops in!!

Thanks for caring, and all your supportive words...I need to

retreat........I don't have anymore stones to turn.

Connie nwnj

Leave no stone unturned.......

[Guest guest]

I don't have anymore stones to turn.

What no stones? Then go to turning pebbles till the stones come back *-)

[Guest guest]

Hi Connie, I am glad I could help. Sometimes I start typing and by the time

I get to the end of the letter, I forget what the hell I wrote at the

beginning! I am really pulling for you and don't want to see you sick

again. I too hate the " L " word. It's a horrible curse to anyone who has it.

I am really very depressed today, I don't even know why. But worse than

usual. I just feel like I cant take it anymore. My dr. changed my

antidepressants about 2 weeks ago, maybe that's the problem. but I am just

not handling stress well or anything else for that matter. I just want to

hide under my blankets. There are other thoughts going through my head but I

will not admit them in print. I cant even talk about them. any advice from

anyone? I feel like if I had full coverage insurance on my car, I would run

it into a tree right now. Ok, I am just going to go hide under my covers

and watch some TV.

roe

roe

[Guest guest]

> ....I cringe at the very words........ " Lyme Disease " .

I can't stand the phrase. I used to live out in Mystic,

and feel badly for the residents of Lyme. What blows

my mind completely is to be in Connecticut, ground zero

for this disease, and be misdiagnosed!

Hang in there Roe. There's always purpose to life

when you help someone else, which is what you've done

here. I don't care for anti-depressent medications, perhaps

they may even be causing you to feel worse?

On walking problems, has anyone ever applied for a handicap

permit? I dared used the parking space just once, when I was

at my worst, hobbling to the store.

I'm feeling very good today and gathering energy. OK, here's

my new rant. Don't you hate the TV commercials that mention doggy

Lyme prevention. I love my hound, even though I've already had

to pull ticks off him, I love animals, but it does make you

crazy the attention is on the pooches, not the people.

--

[Guest guest]

Handicap permit, go to Driver's license place, get blank form that Dr must sign,

take to Dr's office and then when filled out and signed send in

money, plates versus card, plates you have to go in your car, card you can

always ride with someone else and take it with you so that they may park

closer when you are with them

Coleen

popwoman@... wrote:

> > ....I cringe at the very words........ " Lyme Disease " .

>

> I can't stand the phrase. I used to live out in Mystic,

> and feel badly for the residents of Lyme. What blows

> my mind completely is to be in Connecticut, ground zero

> for this disease, and be misdiagnosed!

>

> Hang in there Roe. There's always purpose to life

> when you help someone else, which is what you've done

> here. I don't care for anti-depressent medications, perhaps

> they may even be causing you to feel worse?

>

> On walking problems, has anyone ever applied for a handicap

> permit? I dared used the parking space just once, when I was

> at my worst, hobbling to the store.

>

> I'm feeling very good today and gathering energy. OK, here's

> my new rant. Don't you hate the TV commercials that mention doggy

> Lyme prevention. I love my hound, even though I've already had

> to pull ticks off him, I love animals, but it does make you

> crazy the attention is on the pooches, not the people.

>

> --

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Roe,

If any consolation, I have felt the very same way you have on numerous

occasions since coming down with this awful disease. I imagine many on this

list have felt that way too. What you have to try to remember is that no

matter how bad it seems right this minute, suicide is not a solution, ever.

I am not sure if you have family that you are responsible for, but if you

do, think about how sad they would be should you leave them. They would

blame themselves forever. It is not a good thing to do to ones that you

love. Sometimes this disease makes one feel hopeless, especially since our

doctors are persecuted and no firm treatment has ever been established, but

every day I read of new studies and more doctors becoming involved with

trying to help us cope with this disease. Don't you want to hang around and

see what happens next? If it helps, try to think of the last time you felt

this down, and how you coped and life went on. If this depression

continues, you may want to contact your doctor about adjusting your meds,

possibly the new drug is not strong enough for you.

I know it is hard, but try not to focus so much on your disease and

suffering. If you are able try to do something nice for someone or take a

walk and enjoy this wonderful Spring. I wish I could give you a big hug and

let you know you are not alone, just remember there are many more of us out

here suffering too, some far worse than you or I.

Cyber Hugs,

Marta

----- Original Message -----

From: " nne " <roe325@...>

> I am really very depressed today, I don't even know why. But worse than

> usual. I just feel like I cant take it anymore. My dr. changed my

> antidepressants about 2 weeks ago, maybe that's the problem. but I am just

> not handling stress well or anything else for that matter. I just want to

> hide under my blankets. There are other thoughts going through my head but

I

> will not admit them in print. I cant even talk about them. any advice

from

> anyone? I feel like if I had full coverage insurance on my car, I would

run

> it into a tree right now. Ok, I am just going to go hide under my covers

> and watch some TV.

>

> roe

>

[Guest guest]

> I can't stand the phrase. I used to live out in Mystic,

> and feel badly for the residents of Lyme. What blows

> my mind completely is to be in Connecticut, ground zero

> for this disease, and be misdiagnosed!

I grew up in Huntington CT. Dad worked in Orange and got dxed with

'Alzhiemers' in 82, and ALL of the Drs that saw him commented that his 'Alz'

wasnt progressing the way it should. In hindsight my mom,sis and I all feel

that he had Lyme, it fits him to a T. I worked in Monroe at a horse farm and

got bit in 83. Had the rash and went to the same Dr that dxed my dad, he

ignored the rash and so here I am. 17 years worth of misdxes and my horse

career taken from me. Wish we had known about Lyme when dad passed, we would

have had an autopsy. Your right though, its sad when people in CT,MA and NY

go undxed/misdxed, I take that back, its not sad, it Criminal.

[Guest guest]

Dear Roe;

Your feeling are really understandable, and you did just begin a new

antidepressant. 4 weeks is generally the time it takes to start

feeling the effects.

Martha gave you some good advise. I know what you are going

through. I understand how hopeless you feel. You sound really

isolated, and that can be so dangerous when you're feeling so very

depressed.

If you're too sick to do much, try something little; don't think

about it; just do it anyway. Get outside. Even if you can't go far,

be with nature a little.

When I really feel as if I am purposeless in the universe, and I am

not mobile, I go to a park close to my house, and feed the

squirrels. Sounds strange? Try it. Don't try to figure it out;

your head won't help you because you're trapped inside of it.

You just notice at some point that you haven't been thinking; you've

been participating; and they will be really glad you're there. I

don't care what it is; birds, geese, whatever. I live in NYC and I

can find something here to do this with.

It doesn't change the world overnight, or cure you suddenly. What it

can do is give you some relief from you own situation, and remind you

that you are part of this universe, and are a worthwhile person.

Also, allow yourself to get angry; yea, REAL good and Mad as hell.

Pound you pillow, yell, cry, get it out. If you don't, it will only

feed your depression.

Take those stones you forgotten you have and throw them through an

imaginary plate glass window.

You're allow to be sad and angry; and it can feel hopeless.

I will also remind you now, that there will be no hope if you give

up. You can rest, be angry, sad, whatever, but it will only truly be

hopeless if you quit.

You have a purpose; I could not possibly tell you what it is, but I

know you do, because your here. Plain and simple. When you've done

what you are here to learn and do, you'll move on.

This will pass but you've got to let it out, and no matter what, do

not let your mind wander in futile places. Don't think of Lyme for

now. I'm not kidding. With pain, disability, and whatever else

you're experincing, think of yourself as a person, and try do put

your mind and body in some better spaces for a while.

Please be good to yourself, and don't let your spirit be replaced by

a vaccuum. Do what you need to do to get through the next couple of

weeks, but if all you can do is distract yourself, then do it.

You don't want to die; you just don't want to live like this. So the

problem is you want to live!..without all the pain and crap that

comes with this illness. Tell yourself the truth. I WANT TO LIVE

AND I'M SICK OF LIVING LIKE THIS, and really let it rip. Don't stay

there, but let it out, and then make yourself go outside some; watch

good movies, listen to beautiful music, and realize that you have not

been forgotten, no matter how much it may feel like that.

I'll be thinking of you.

Sincerely,

Regina

> > I can't stand the phrase. I used to live out in Mystic,

> > and feel badly for the residents of Lyme. What blows

> > my mind completely is to be in Connecticut, ground zero

> > for this disease, and be misdiagnosed!

>

>

> I grew up in Huntington CT. Dad worked in Orange and got dxed with

> 'Alzhiemers' in 82, and ALL of the Drs that saw him commented that

his 'Alz'

> wasnt progressing the way it should. In hindsight my mom,sis and I

all feel

> that he had Lyme, it fits him to a T. I worked in Monroe at a horse

farm and

> got bit in 83. Had the rash and went to the same Dr that dxed my

dad, he

> ignored the rash and so here I am. 17 years worth of misdxes and my

horse

> career taken from me. Wish we had known about Lyme when dad passed,

we would

> have had an autopsy. Your right though, its sad when people in

CT,MA and NY

> go undxed/misdxed, I take that back, its not sad, it Criminal.

[Guest guest]

Regina,

Your note to Marta was a help to all who had the privelege to read it. I

needed to hear those words today myself. thank you for the valuable thoughts.

pj

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/11/2001 7:29:19 PM Central Daylight Time,

Neurochem1@... writes:

> Ok; I'll share a little exersize with you. Once and a while, I can

> still get REALLLLLLY angry when I run into someone I haven't seen, or

> a family member that can't deal and I hear " Hi; aren't you better

> yet? "

>

> Now I know that other people have a hard time not knowing what to

> say, so unless it's someone who does this all the time, I don't

> usually spend lots of energy, but if it makes me angry, I'll write

> the offending sentence down on a piece of paper, and burn it in an

> ashtray. Sort of a metaphoric " burn those words " kind of thing.

>

Regina, this is another wonderful exercise or shall I say exorcise????<G> I

unfortunately have alot of ashtrays to fill! thanks again for the words of

encouragement for us all. pj

[Guest guest]

> Regina,

>

> Your note to Marta was a help to all who had the privelege to read

it. I

> needed to hear those words today myself. thank you for the valuable

thoughts.

> pj

>

>

>

Dear PJ;

I'm glad it was helpful; the rage and saddness associated with this

particular illness stands out.

Ok; I'll share a little exersize with you. Once and a while, I can

still get REALLLLLLY angry when I run into someone I haven't seen, or

a family member that can't deal and I hear " Hi; aren't you better

yet? "

Now I know that other people have a hard time not knowing what to

say, so unless it's someone who does this all the time, I don't

usually spend lots of energy, but if it makes me angry, I'll write

the offending sentence down on a piece of paper, and burn it in an

ashtray. Sort of a metaphoric " burn those words " kind of thing.

This way, I'm not pouncing on someone who may not deserve it, nor am

I swallowing the frustration myself.

It's important to understand that others may not understand, or that

they don't know how to deal with you, but it's just as important that

you don't hold that inside.

There surely enough to hold with this illness.

I don't know if that would work for you, but in some circumstances,

it really does help.

Do whatever positive thing you can do to be good to yourself; after

all, if you're not your own best friend, how could anyone else be?

Good health, peace and freedom to all of you.

Sincerely,

Regina

neurochem1@...