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Re: making ourselves sick

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Hi, All,

I'm still at home and away from my computer regularly (until after New

Year's) so I won't be able to respond much until then. But count me in

among those of you who have had it suggested to you that you are so

invested in the pay-off of being chronically ill that your mind just

isn't letting your body get better. It came from a non LLMD physician,

but it was our home family doc whom I've known for many years, so it was

very hurtful to hear that he thought that was a possibility. I can't

imagine anyone who would choose to be ill w. Lyme, and I truthfully don't

see any payback in it for me. But even having to protest such an idea at

all makes it sound like you're in denial ab. it (and takes so much energy).

I've been sick for 7 years (5 before Lyme was dx'd) and I've been working

on my doctorate as I can and doing everything I can think of to get well,

including " thinking positive " and humor and alternative stuff and living

life as fully as I possibly can.

This doc knows me reasonably well, but doesn't know a lot ab. my current

life in grad school. I just feel so exhausted and defeated when I have to

face this question. If I am keeping myself sick for the payoff, I sure

don't know how I'm doing it.

Thank you for listening. I know many of us have had it suggested to us

that we are somehow getting something out of being sick, so we don't get

better. I guess I have to remember that a doc may take this angle when

they can't " fix " your illness.

Healing and good wishes to all,

Marie

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