depression

[Guest guest]

Dear Alecia,

Hi!! First off I better re-introduce myself. I joined this group in April,

and I don't post much either. My name is Barbara, I live in No Calif, and am

a 37yo married mother of 2 girls, 15 and 12. I have a few health " hurdles "

one of them, and the most active, is Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was diag about

8 years ago, but only started treatments about 2 1/2 years ago. I haven't

posted in a long while because I have been battling an inflamed liver from

Arava, but read your post and knew that I had to summoned up some energy to

post today.

I want to let you know that I too suffer from severe chest pain that

radiates thru and around my back. Only mines on the right side. Infact, I

lived with this for almost a year before they decide it was associated with

my RA and started me on Methotrexate. I even slept sitting in an upward

position for that time also. The only relief I experienced in that year,

sadly, was when my brother in-law was dying and I stayed with my sister for

5 days in an ICU without much sleeping. It was then that I fully realized

how much pressure was being put upon my chest when I laid down. The good

news in all of this is that I responded to the methotrexate quickly and

within 3-4 weeks was sleeping laying down again, and have since, for 21/2

years now.

Anyway, I know what you're feeling. I too seem to experience pain in areas

that are not the " norm " for RA. Infact, my MD says that I'm his only patient

that has had all this sternum pain. And now it seems that I'm his only

patient who has had adverse liver problems due to the Arava. At first he

thought it was the MTX/Arava combo. So I went off both, had a liver biopsy,

can't use MTX anymore because of liver, went back onto Arava and now have

liver counts higher then ever. I too am sick and tired (no pun intended) of

being sick and tired. The only thing that has helped me has been my faith,

Now I'm not trying to preach here, just letting you know what's worked for

me. The day I laid this disease at the Lord's feet was the first day of

living for me. It was such a relief to realize that I didn't need to have

all the answers to what was happening to me to be ok with this disease. It's

hard to put into words, but the burdens been lifted, so to speak. Do I still

have bad days? You bet. Do I still get frustrated and discouraged? You bet!!

But I have found that there is peace in prayer! There is peace in God's

word, and there is peace in knowing that I don't have to be the end all, be

all, to have value. My life has value just because it's my life. I don't

know if my life will impact anyone else's, I doubt if I will leave a lasting

mark on this society, but so what. It's ok to " just " be a child of God, who

happens to be a mom living with a chronic condition. Society tells us we're

not anybody unless we're somebody, but I disagree. I hope there are people

in your life that matter to you. That make you smile on bad days and pick

you up on the horrible days. I know this group has done that for me. even

when I can't post I get so much from everyone here. Just being able to log

on and know that there are people that care means alot. So thank you all for

your silent help, I always look forward to the days postings.

Ok, well, I think I made up my lack of postings in this one. I hope to be

feeling well soon, and look forward to joining in again. I will be starting

Enbrel in a few weeks, need to get over this sinus infection first,

Bye for now,

Barb

-----Original Message-----

From: Alecia Flaherty <aleciaflaherty@...>

egroups < egroups>

Date: Sunday, July 09, 2000 10:38 AM

Subject: [ ] Depression

>I am pretty new here and don't post much, but wanted

>to respond to this thread on depression.

>

>I have been fighting depression for several months. I

>first started feeling really bad in January and went

>to several doctors who had no idea what was wrong with

>me. The combination of the pain and getting no answers

>took its toll on me and I have had more than my fair

>share of suicidal feelings. I began feeling better

>when I finally got a diagnosis of RA and the doctor

>started agressive treatment. Right now, I have gone

>from nsaids, to vioxx (was allergic), to celebrex (now

>taking), to methotrexate (was allergic) and am now

>taking Enbrel injections. Nothing seems to be helping

>and I feel as if I am getting worse daily instead of

>better. Needless to say, I am once again in this cycle

>of depression. It doesn't help matters that I am not

>able to work and I'm feeling pretty worthless to

>society in that aspect. Logically, I know that I have

>many positive things in my life, but it is really hard

>to think logically when the depression hits.

>

>I initially went to the doctor because I was having

>severe pain in my chest that lasted for several weeks.

>Throughout all my treatment, that pain has remained.

>My current dr says that RA can cause sternal pain, but

>I have not found anyone who also has this pain. My

>chest hurts from the front all the way to the back on

>my left side. It is extremely tender to touch right

>below my left breast, and actually all of my left side

>of my chest. Every dr I have been too has told me it

>is NOT my heart, so I guess I have to believe that.

>The past 2-3 days I have been having extreme pain in

>my neck - stiff and hurts to move side to side, but

>mostly hurts to lift my head up when I am laying down.

>

>Has anyone else had these pains? I feel so alone

>sometimes because I don't seem to experience RA in the

>way alot of people do.

>

>Right now, I'm fighting depression because the Enbrel

>has not yet helped. I've only been taking it 3 weeks,

>so I know I possibly have not given it time to start

>working. I'm not sure what my options are if this drug

>also fails and I've began to think the dr could be

>wrong in his diagnosis since no medications have so

>far helped.

>

>Right before I checked my email this morning, I was

>crying and having those feelings of wishing I would

>just go ahead and die rather than be this way..... I

>feel it was perfect timing for this discussion of

>depression to be on this list today, since it has made

>me realize that there are other people out there that

>have suffered through this also - even children!

>

>I believe in asking for outside help it is needed. I

>have been seeing a therapist, but currently do not

>have the money to continue. I know it is helpful and

>my therapist has been like a guardian angel to me when

>I was at some of my lowest points. I do recommend it

>to anyone who is having suicidal thoughts.

>

>Depression can hit anyone at any time. I would have

>never believed this could happen to me. I have a BSE

>in art and have taught school several years. I quit

>teaching to open a landscaping business with my

>partner 8 years ago and have been successfully

>designing and landscaping. I have been a mostly

>healthy person and until recently always had a

>positive outlook on life. I believe the depression is

>a disease that is far worse to combat than the RA.

>

>Thanks for the opportunity to express my feelings on

>this topic. It was greatly needed today.

>

>Alecia

>

>

>

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Alecia,

Depression is a very debilitating disease. It is a major problem with

everyone that suffers from chronic pain. I used to get in very deep

depressions, but medication has helped that a lot. I know what you mean

about feeling worthless. I've felt that way too. There is such an

emotional side to dealing with this disease. We're angry at what it takes

from us.

I hope the Enbrel starts to word for you. It has helped so many people.

Remicade is also helping many people, and there are new drugs being tested.

Chest pain in RA is actually very common. Many of us have had flares in our

chest. I had one this past winter that really was painful. I only get it

on one side and thank God not very often. It is very painful, and I'm sorry

you have to deal with this.

I used to have a lot of problems with my neck, but for some reason it

stopped. At one time my neck problems made me bedridden. I lived on

muscle relaxers and pain pills. X-rays showed mild cervical disc problems,

but nothing serious. My lower back was the same way. I would suffer from

bouts of sciatica that would cause excruciating pain. For me the cure was

as simple as water therapy. I was prescribed water therapy, and got so much

from it that I got a hot tub for home. I've continued the therapy and it

has done miracles for me. I now have a regular regiment that I follow.

Have you had and diagnostic testing done on your neck?

You are not alone in your battle with depression. I wish you luck with

Enbrel and hope you feel better.

a

----- Original Message -----

From: Alecia Flaherty <aleciaflaherty@...>

< egroups>

Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2000 1:38 PM

Subject: [ ] Depression

> I am pretty new here and don't post much, but wanted

> to respond to this thread on depression.

>

> I have been fighting depression for several months. I

> first started feeling really bad in January and went

> to several doctors who had no idea what was wrong with

> me. The combination of the pain and getting no answers

> took its toll on me and I have had more than my fair

> share of suicidal feelings. I began feeling better

> when I finally got a diagnosis of RA and the doctor

> started agressive treatment. Right now, I have gone

> from nsaids, to vioxx (was allergic), to celebrex (now

> taking), to methotrexate (was allergic) and am now

> taking Enbrel injections. Nothing seems to be helping

> and I feel as if I am getting worse daily instead of

> better. Needless to say, I am once again in this cycle

> of depression. It doesn't help matters that I am not

> able to work and I'm feeling pretty worthless to

> society in that aspect. Logically, I know that I have

> many positive things in my life, but it is really hard

> to think logically when the depression hits.

>

> I initially went to the doctor because I was having

> severe pain in my chest that lasted for several weeks.

> Throughout all my treatment, that pain has remained.

> My current dr says that RA can cause sternal pain, but

> I have not found anyone who also has this pain. My

> chest hurts from the front all the way to the back on

> my left side. It is extremely tender to touch right

> below my left breast, and actually all of my left side

> of my chest. Every dr I have been too has told me it

> is NOT my heart, so I guess I have to believe that.

> The past 2-3 days I have been having extreme pain in

> my neck - stiff and hurts to move side to side, but

> mostly hurts to lift my head up when I am laying down.

>

> Has anyone else had these pains? I feel so alone

> sometimes because I don't seem to experience RA in the

> way alot of people do.

>

> Right now, I'm fighting depression because the Enbrel

> has not yet helped. I've only been taking it 3 weeks,

> so I know I possibly have not given it time to start

> working. I'm not sure what my options are if this drug

> also fails and I've began to think the dr could be

> wrong in his diagnosis since no medications have so

> far helped.

>

> Right before I checked my email this morning, I was

> crying and having those feelings of wishing I would

> just go ahead and die rather than be this way..... I

> feel it was perfect timing for this discussion of

> depression to be on this list today, since it has made

> me realize that there are other people out there that

> have suffered through this also - even children!

>

> I believe in asking for outside help it is needed. I

> have been seeing a therapist, but currently do not

> have the money to continue. I know it is helpful and

> my therapist has been like a guardian angel to me when

> I was at some of my lowest points. I do recommend it

> to anyone who is having suicidal thoughts.

>

> Depression can hit anyone at any time. I would have

> never believed this could happen to me. I have a BSE

> in art and have taught school several years. I quit

> teaching to open a landscaping business with my

> partner 8 years ago and have been successfully

> designing and landscaping. I have been a mostly

> healthy person and until recently always had a

> positive outlook on life. I believe the depression is

> a disease that is far worse to combat than the RA.

>

> Thanks for the opportunity to express my feelings on

> this topic. It was greatly needed today.

>

> Alecia

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Alecia,

Sounds as if you are having a rough time. The people who have responded to you

post have had

much wisdom to share and I hope you can just hang in there and get some relief

soon!!!

I will be sending healing thoughts

Trish

--- Alecia Flaherty <aleciaflaherty@...> wrote:

> I am pretty new here and don't post much, but wanted

> to respond to this thread on depression.

>

> I have been fighting depression for several months. I

> first started feeling really bad in January and went

> to several doctors who had no idea what was wrong with

> me. The combination of the pain and getting no answers

> took its toll on me and I have had more than my fair

> share of suicidal feelings. I began feeling better

> when I finally got a diagnosis of RA and the doctor

> started agressive treatment. Right now, I have gone

> from nsaids, to vioxx (was allergic), to celebrex (now

> taking), to methotrexate (was allergic) and am now

> taking Enbrel injections. Nothing seems to be helping

> and I feel as if I am getting worse daily instead of

> better. Needless to say, I am once again in this cycle

> of depression. It doesn't help matters that I am not

> able to work and I'm feeling pretty worthless to

> society in that aspect. Logically, I know that I have

> many positive things in my life, but it is really hard

> to think logically when the depression hits.

>

> I initially went to the doctor because I was having

> severe pain in my chest that lasted for several weeks.

> Throughout all my treatment, that pain has remained.

> My current dr says that RA can cause sternal pain, but

> I have not found anyone who also has this pain. My

> chest hurts from the front all the way to the back on

> my left side. It is extremely tender to touch right

> below my left breast, and actually all of my left side

> of my chest. Every dr I have been too has told me it

> is NOT my heart, so I guess I have to believe that.

> The past 2-3 days I have been having extreme pain in

> my neck - stiff and hurts to move side to side, but

> mostly hurts to lift my head up when I am laying down.

>

> Has anyone else had these pains? I feel so alone

> sometimes because I don't seem to experience RA in the

> way alot of people do.

>

> Right now, I'm fighting depression because the Enbrel

> has not yet helped. I've only been taking it 3 weeks,

> so I know I possibly have not given it time to start

> working. I'm not sure what my options are if this drug

> also fails and I've began to think the dr could be

> wrong in his diagnosis since no medications have so

> far helped.

>

> Right before I checked my email this morning, I was

> crying and having those feelings of wishing I would

> just go ahead and die rather than be this way..... I

> feel it was perfect timing for this discussion of

> depression to be on this list today, since it has made

> me realize that there are other people out there that

> have suffered through this also - even children!

>

> I believe in asking for outside help it is needed. I

> have been seeing a therapist, but currently do not

> have the money to continue. I know it is helpful and

> my therapist has been like a guardian angel to me when

> I was at some of my lowest points. I do recommend it

> to anyone who is having suicidal thoughts.

>

> Depression can hit anyone at any time. I would have

> never believed this could happen to me. I have a BSE

> in art and have taught school several years. I quit

> teaching to open a landscaping business with my

> partner 8 years ago and have been successfully

> designing and landscaping. I have been a mostly

> healthy person and until recently always had a

> positive outlook on life. I believe the depression is

> a disease that is far worse to combat than the RA.

>

> Thanks for the opportunity to express my feelings on

> this topic. It was greatly needed today.

>

> Alecia

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Philip: my hat is off to you. Congratulations on all these tremendous

achievements.

What is EFA?

on 10/10/2002 2:27 PM, Philip at physio.care@... wrote:

> Hi Dominick

>

> I have depression and OCD and am a recovering alcoholic.Todays is my second

> anniversary of being sober. Over the past year or so I have been following

> CRON and have slowly dropped about forty pounds. I supplement with EFA and

> take very moderate exercise.

>

> I find that my energy levels are improving and life seems worth living

>

>

> Philip

[Guest guest]

They will notice you've vanished! MS alone causes depression as do Rebif and probably the other ABC's. I have been on ldn for 7 months and have not noticed any depression. Actually everyone tells me I look so much better than last year and I think its because I have hope now that I will not progress.Hang in there, Maytagman, we need you on line to join in our petty arguments and to learn from each other. It may just be an MS Symptom, pretty crappy one, but this too shall pass. ok? Kiki

[Guest guest]

Just noticed the time you wrote.......at about 3:30-4:30 I start crashing, meaning I can't walk well, I get tired, and then by 7pm I am dead. By 8:30pm I start to perk up again and by9pm can just about walk without a cane. It may be the endorphin cycle or some kind of cycle. Notice the time tomorrow and see how you feel around certain times. Kiki

[Guest guest]

Nope had this with MS itself but not so far on the LDN. I

am keeping a day to day diary while on the LDN of everything else I am taking

how I am feeling and what times I take what. Maybe people should start doing

this and see if they see a correlation between LDN and depression. I do know a

lot of people with MS experience Depression from time to time.

From:

rbutto@... [mailto:rbutto@...]

Sent: Friday, January 09, 2004

4:04 PM

low dose naltrexone

Subject: [low dose naltrexone]

DEPRESSION

ANYONE HERE EXPERIENCING

DEPRESSION PRESUMABLY FROM LDN.

NOT AN UNDERLYING CONDITION IN MY CASE. USUALLY

PEOPLE COME TO ME

BECAUSE I'M SO DAMN OPTIMISTIC.......

I'VE JUST NOTICED THIS HOPELESS FEELING COMING

OVER ME......

SAD PART IS I'M SITTING AMONG A ROOM FULL OF

PEOPLE AND I CAN'T HELP

BUT THINK THAT I COULD VANISH AND NO-ONE WOULD

KNOW......

PRETTY PITIFUL.... I KNOW THAT MUCH......

NOTICE: This Maytag Corporation e-mail

message (including any file

attachment) is intended only for the use of the

individual or entity to

which it is addressed, and may contain information

that is privileged

and/or confidential. If you are not the

intended recipient, any

dissemination, distribution or copying of this

communication is strictly

prohibited. If you have received this

communication in error, please

notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail or a

collect telephone call

and delete or destroy all copies of this message

and any file attachment.

Thank you!

[Guest guest]

Thank you Kiki, for the thoughts about endorphin cycles and feelings

of depression. I, like rbutto, have been feeling more depressed

than I thought I would after starting the LDN. Of course it doesn't

help that it's 18 below zero, and I'm 46 and alone...but I think it

is worst in the afternoon and early evening. I will keep better

track, and encourage others to do the same.

The support here is SO helpful, and I am SO grateful for it.

Chicandle

>

>

> Just noticed the time you wrote.......at about 3:30-4:30 I start

crashing,

> meaning I can't walk well, I get tired, and then by 7pm I am dead.

By 8:30pm I

> start to perk up again and by9pm can just about walk without a

cane. It may be

> the endorphin cycle or some kind of cycle. Notice the time

tomorrow and see

> how you feel around certain times. Kiki

[Guest guest]

I have major depression also. Something that has never been an issue with me before. It's very scary to feel like this. I feel like I've lost myself and I am young and I feel like I am falling apart. I take cymbalta but I actually think I could use something stronger.

.=........_(_O_)_....dwh/'_"_'\.......(_(_Y_)_)..''.../'w'\...(__)(,'ww',)('|||')_(__|__)__/__\__Some days you're the dogSome days you're the hydrant:-*-:._._.:-*-:._._.:-*-:check me out on My Spacecheck me out on Charlotte-ParentsCheck out NCarolinaMoms

[Guest guest]

> KELY,

> I've read up on just about everything there is to read on RA a

> depression goes along pretty much hand in hand with RA.

I know, and I am so depressed right now that I can hardly stand it.

I'm off my Enbrel for about three weeks and crashing so hard that

I've been crying all day. Trying to control it while I run errands

and such. Partly the pain, which is just overwhelming, but mostly

just plain old depression, and there's just nothing I can do about it.

Of course, there's the fact that my life (at least the life I knew

before) is gone. I used to be a performing singer/songwriter and even

with meds I know there's no way my fingers will be able to be strong

enough to practice and perform with the guitar. That's the worst, I

think, losing my music. Not to mention everything else.

Then today my new car got egged, inside and out, I had to change

pharmacies and am losing the people I trusted and knew, I had to be

up and active for most of the day and my schizophrenic brother is

homeless again.

It just feels like too much to bear

Thx for listening, tho I hope it gets better when I can start

my shots again next week...

[Guest guest]

This poem is AMAZING . Do you mind if I pass this on to some of my family and friends?

From: roger pitcher <smartdog_8@...>Subject: DepressionRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Sunday, April 26, 2009, 11:37 PM

Old Man Pain

I feel trapped, trapped by the old man within my bones. The young man within feels he’s been imprisoned. Imprisoned behind a wall of pain, that pain, oh that pain, old man pain. He shows no mercy, even when I cry “enough†he has no compassion; no sympathy, he just continues to build those walls that threaten to crush the young man within.

He can be deceiving and cynical in his actions, sometimes hiding away, leaving the prison door ajar. Then just as a glimmer of hope appears on the young mans face, old man jumps out to slam the door closed again.

There were days the young man would sit in the corner of his prison cell, rarely trying to look beyond the door. Old man had been torturing him for nearly 16 years, the young man’s heart and soul nearly given over.

The internal battle a losing one for both his bones and mind. The old man has ensured the young man can no longer run and jump; thoughts of a bright future, a career given over to thoughts of depression and how to get up out of the chair.

Recently I looked within for the young man, he turned his head and there looking back at me was a middle aged man. His body ravaged by the old man and years past, then with a look of determination he said “never give up, always keep tryingâ€.

It was then that I realized that even though I couldn’t get the old man out of my bones, I didn’t need to give over my heart, soul and mind to the old man. That I needed to look beyond the old man, to clear my mind of doubts, never give up; and realized I’ve had the key to the prison door all along.

Pitcher

I wrote this in a very depressed state a few years ago. Yes depression does go hand in hand with arthritis and no I don't take antidepressantes and yes I do like a drink. But in the end I've tried to keep an attitude that I'm not going to give in to it. That I'm going to laugh and be positive, sure there are still going to be days that i'm down really down but I still smile. I always make tasks for myself to achieve each day so that at the end of it I can feel I've accomplished something and moved forward. Just small things, getting my socks on without my daughters help LOL. Next project a 5 metre shed! not sure how but am sure I will. Found that the meds have turned me into a emotional person. Never cried at sad movies now I can cry at sad commercials. Where will it end! smiling at ya

Download the new Windows Live Looking for a place to manage all your online stuff?

[Guest guest]

thank you help yourself

Rheumatoid Arthritis From: angelac71@...Date: Sun, 26 Apr 2009 22:28:46 -0700Subject: Re: Depression

This poem is AMAZING . Do you mind if I pass this on to some of my family and friends?

From: roger pitcher <smartdog_8hotmail>Subject: DepressionRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Sunday, April 26, 2009, 11:37 PM

Old Man Pain I feel trapped, trapped by the old man within my bones. The young man within feels he’s been imprisoned. Imprisoned behind a wall of pain, that pain, oh that pain, old man pain. He shows no mercy, even when I cry “enough” he has no compassion; no sympathy, he just continues to build those walls that threaten to crush the young man within. He can be deceiving and cynical in his actions, sometimes hiding away, leaving the prison door ajar. Then just as a glimmer of hope appears on the young mans face, old man jumps out to slam the door closed again. There were days the young man would sit in the corner of his prison cell, rarely trying to look beyond the door. Old man had been torturing him for nearly 16 years, the young man’s heart and soul nearly given over.

The internal battle a losing one for both his bones and mind. The old man has ensured the young man can no longer run and jump; thoughts of a bright future, a career given over to thoughts of depression and how to get up out of the chair.

Recently I looked within for the young man, he turned his head and there looking back at me was a middle aged man. His body ravaged by the old man and years past, then with a look of determination he said “never give up, always keep trying”. It was then that I realized that even though I couldn’t get the old man out of my bones, I didn’t need to give over my heart, soul and mind to the old man. That I needed to look beyond the old man, to clear my mind of doubts, never give up; and realized I’ve had the key to the prison door all along.

Pitcher I wrote this in a very depressed state a few years ago. Yes depression does go hand in hand with arthritis and no I don't take antidepressantes and yes I do like a drink. But in the end I've tried to keep an attitude that I'm not going to give in to it. That I'm going to laugh and be positive, sure there are still going to be days that i'm down really down but I still smile. I always make tasks for myself to achieve each day so that at the end of it I can feel I've accomplished something and moved forward. Just small things, getting my socks on without my daughters help LOL. Next project a 5 metre shed! not sure how but am sure I will. Found that the meds have turned me into a emotional person. Never cried at sad movies now I can cry at sad commercials. Where will it end! smiling at ya

Download the new Windows Live Looking for a place to manage all your online stuff?

Check on MSN NZ Money for a hand Feeling the financial pinch?

[Guest guest]

Dear i have,nt read the poem yet but I read your blog about depression my hear goes out to you just keep sharing and you will be fine. angie_phea@...

From: roger pitcher <smartdog_8@...>Subject: DepressionRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Sunday, April 26, 2009, 11:37 PM

Old Man Pain

I feel trapped, trapped by the old man within my bones. The young man within feels he’s been imprisoned. Imprisoned behind a wall of pain, that pain, oh that pain, old man pain. He shows no mercy, even when I cry “enough†he has no compassion; no sympathy, he just continues to build those walls that threaten to crush the young man within.

He can be deceiving and cynical in his actions, sometimes hiding away, leaving the prison door ajar. Then just as a glimmer of hope appears on the young mans face, old man jumps out to slam the door closed again.

There were days the young man would sit in the corner of his prison cell, rarely trying to look beyond the door. Old man had been torturing him for nearly 16 years, the young man’s heart and soul nearly given over.

The internal battle a losing one for both his bones and mind. The old man has ensured the young man can no longer run and jump; thoughts of a bright future, a career given over to thoughts of depression and how to get up out of the chair.

Recently I looked within for the young man, he turned his head and there looking back at me was a middle aged man. His body ravaged by the old man and years past, then with a look of determination he said “never give up, always keep tryingâ€.

It was then that I realized that even though I couldn’t get the old man out of my bones, I didn’t need to give over my heart, soul and mind to the old man. That I needed to look beyond the old man, to clear my mind of doubts, never give up; and realized I’ve had the key to the prison door all along.

Pitcher

I wrote this in a very depressed state a few years ago. Yes depression does go hand in hand with arthritis and no I don't take antidepressantes and yes I do like a drink. But in the end I've tried to keep an attitude that I'm not going to give in to it. That I'm going to laugh and be positive, sure there are still going to be days that i'm down really down but I still smile. I always make tasks for myself to achieve each day so that at the end of it I can feel I've accomplished something and moved forward. Just small things, getting my socks on without my daughters help LOL. Next project a 5 metre shed! not sure how but am sure I will. Found that the meds have turned me into a emotional person. Never cried at sad movies now I can cry at sad commercials. Where will it end! smiling at ya

Download the new Windows Live Looking for a place to manage all your online stuff?

[Guest guest]

Dear

I loved your poem, and it made me cry.

I know Depression goes with Arthritis, I refuse to take Antidepressents

because the make me like i am someone else, I don`t feel anything . I dont feel

happy, and i don`t feel sad, I just feel like a Body with no emotions. So i am

just taking a Valium maybe once ore twice a day and i am doing fine, My mind is

clear,I have bad days, and good days.

So i just take one day at a time, I have no Family other than my little dog, but

he keeps me going, and i keep going for him.

We need each other.

Take care

Marika

[Guest guest]

I have diabetes, RA, and fibromyalgia and I have a great doctor he don't want you to be in a lot of pain. And for SS they sit on their behinds and say what you can do if only they had RA and Fibro and it was active they would know what pain people like us go through, they would not be so fast to tell us what we could do.

From: hildahall61 <txsaritasmom@...>Subject: DepressionRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Monday, April 27, 2009, 2:21 AM

It seems that the doctors I have gone to, are very egotistical. They know everything, and don't really listen to me. I have diabetes, fribromyalgia, and RA. There were times when I curled up in a fetal position 24/7, and cried constantly because the pain was intense. My family doctor was awesome!! He kept me on soma, xanax, and vicodin. It worked to a certain degree. I went to a rheumatologist that he recommended, and he changed none of the meds, they were for the fibro. Unfortunately, my family doctor moved hundreds of miles away. I feel that if the methotrexate had been added to my other med regimen, I would be in better shape. The last rheumatoligist said she did not treat pain....thanks a lot. The next to last dr treated my fibro with lyrica which made my hands and feet swell. This killed me because my RA already hurt my hands and feet. When I called his office, he increased the dosage of lyrica!!I blame the lack of pain med scripts on

these celebrity deaths. Ever since thay happened, , Heath Ledger, doctors assume everyone is in it for the drugs. Sometimes I think of all the ways to kill myself because I can't stand it anymore. Social Security tells me that since I can drive, I can push a 40 pound door, so I am not disabled. They should be here when I have to wait till 1 pm to eat because there is no one to cook for me. They should be there when I can't dry off when I shower...I can't turn in bed without my shoulders making me scream.I am so depressed... ......

[Guest guest]

Hello and thanks for sharing. I know you are in lots of pain but you have to be strong for yourself and your husband. And try to spend time with your family, tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

From: Fine <tfine@...>Subject: Re: Re: DepressionRheumatoid Arthritis Cc: tfine@...Date: Monday, April 27, 2009, 5:48 PM

Hello: My name is : I have R.A. @ I also have chiari malformation . I don"t know if you have ever

heard of this brain disease but I have already had 1 brain surgury. i am A fighter. I don:t have a friend either.

I am alone most of the time. I have family but I don"t exist to them. No one want:::S to bother with any one with the kind of diseases

I have..... I do have a husband but he work"s alot to try and pay for every thing so that leave:S me alone alot.

My Husband is my angel He doe:S every thing for me and neversay:s anything or complaine"s. He is so wonderful

by trying to spend time with me when he can. Ifeel guilty some time"S because he has to do so many thing"s.

because I can"t do very much. You spoke about your dog ? I also have a baby to. his name is .

He is a dash hound. he is my best friend. It"s like he know"s every thing I am saying to him He so cute. I

Love Him so much .If I do Ge to go any where He has to go most of the time or he will cry alot!!!!!

He is so spoiled. You also spoke of antidepressent" t? I do not take them either. I feel they take what life you do have away.

chiari is a very bad disease. It causes lot"s of symptom"s.It also causes joint and body pain as well as lot"s of other thing"s

to many to list . I Know how you suffer. Because I also live it every day. I have found that Giving my faith to God.

help"s me make it one day at a time. Get through the day you are in ane tomorrow God will take care of You'

As He doe"s every day' Well sorry I talked you into sleep Ha! but I hop you will e-mail me back.

Oh I forgot to tell you. I am 48 yr"s old .ihave one dtr. and 3. grnd chil.

i see them some time"s but can"t do much with them. they are small and don"t understand. I dom"t think

My Dtr. doe"s either. Oh well. Maby She will before it is to late and we can have a relationship

someday. thank"s for your time.

God Bless You from Ardmore Oklahoma.

From: Marika <tobytoby99350>rheumatoid_arthriti sgroups (DOT) comSent: Monday, April 27, 2009 11:37:52 AMSubject: [rheumatoid_ arthritis] Re: Depression

Dear I loved your poem, and it made me cry.I know Depression goes with Arthritis, I refuse to take Antidepressentsbecause the make me like i am someone else, I don`t feel anything . I dont feel happy, and i don`t feel sad, I just feel like a Body with no emotions. So i am just taking a Valium maybe once ore twice a day and i am doing fine, My mind is clear,I have bad days, and good days.So i just take one day at a time, I have no Family other than my little dog, but he keeps me going, and i keep going for him.We need each other.Take careMarika

[Guest guest]

It sounds to me like you are seeking treatment of the symptoms

instead of treating the disease. Medications work differently for all of

us so the doctor cannot know beforehand what effect a medication will have on

you personally. They start out with knowing statistics but not how it

will affect you. Also sometimes our bodies initially react to a new

medication but adapt to it with time. There is no way to treat RA that is

going to be best for everyone so that has to be determined by trial and

error. There are doctors who specialize in treating pain, but they don’t

treat the cause of the pain. Other doctors treat the cause of the pain,

but don’t treat the effects of the pain. If the cause of the pain

is cured, the pain does go away. Please don’t discount a doctor

because they want to treat what they are trained for and to refer other

problems to doctors who specialize in that area. I hope you get effective

treatment. God bless.

From: Rheumatoid Arthritis

[mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of hildahall61

Sent: Monday, April 27, 2009 12:22 AM

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Subject: Depression

It seems that the doctors I have gone to, are

very egotistical. They know everything, and don't really listen to me. I have

diabetes, fribromyalgia, and RA. There were times when I curled up in a fetal

position 24/7, and cried constantly because the pain was intense. My family

doctor was awesome!! He kept me on soma, xanax, and vicodin. It worked to a

certain degree. I went to a rheumatologist that he recommended, and he changed

none of the meds, they were for the fibro. Unfortunately, my family doctor moved

hundreds of miles away. I feel that if the methotrexate had been added to my

other med regimen, I would be in better shape. The last rheumatoligist said she

did not treat pain....thanks a lot. The next to last dr treated my fibro with

lyrica which made my hands and feet swell. This killed me because my RA already

hurt my hands and feet. When I called his office, he increased the dosage of

lyrica!!

I blame the lack of pain med scripts on these celebrity deaths. Ever since thay

happened, , Heath Ledger, doctors assume everyone is in it for the

drugs.

Sometimes I think of all the ways to kill myself because I can't stand it

anymore. Social Security tells me that since I can drive, I can push a 40 pound

door, so I am not disabled. They should be here when I have to wait till 1 pm

to eat because there is no one to cook for me. They should be there when I

can't dry off when I shower...I can't turn in bed without my shoulders making

me scream.

I am so depressed.........

No virus

found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 8.5.339 / Virus Database: 270.12.35/2123 - Release Date: 05/20/09

06:22:00

[Guest guest]

I think that is why so many peoploe find rheumatologists reluctant to treat pain - they want to get at the root of the problem and treat the disease.

Annette

It sounds to me like you are seeking treatment of the symptoms instead of treating the disease.  Medications work differently for all of us so the doctor cannot know beforehand what effect a medication will have on you personally.  They start out with knowing statistics but not how it will affect you.  Also sometimes our bodies initially react to a new medication but adapt to it with time.  There is no way to treat RA that is going to be best for everyone so that has to be determined by trial and error.  There are doctors who specialize in treating pain, but they don’t treat the cause of the pain.  Other doctors treat the cause of the pain, but don’t treat the effects of the pain.  If the cause of the pain is cured, the pain does go away.  Please don’t discount a doctor because they want to treat what they are trained for and to refer other problems to doctors who specialize in that area.  I hope you get effective treatment.  God bless

Harold

[Guest guest]

Dear Depressed- I am on my 23rd Rheumatologist. Why?? Because I

went through what you are now. Expect nothing less that the best from

your rheumatologist. You need to write down every issue you want to

address clinically. Make a list on a piece of paper. Lyrica

Swelling- Find an alternative for it. Pain must be addressed at the

source which is the inflammation. Are you a candidate for Remicade or

any of the biologics? Once you address your inflammation you can

address your pain. They are tied together. You have to get enough

sleep and the fibro will subside. I am on a minimal mix cocktail in

the PM to help me sleep. I take 25mg of trazadone (yes for

depression) Soma for my muscles and Oxazepam (ativan derivative) 30 mg

to knock me out. I take one 800 mg tab of ibuprofen and a small

amount of Darvocet for the pain. Think about naltrexone for your

depression and also to moderate your disease. It has great promise!!!

Pain will and does cause a chemical imbalance in the brain also so

keep that in mind. Remember to have your thyroid checked also by an

endocrinologist along with your diabetes as nodes are common in

patients with RA. You have to remember that doctors have a very

limited time to see you. Ask to be referred to a therapist for your

depression by your Rheumy or your internist. Each doctor has his

category. a bone dr cant treat depression, a therapist cant treat RA.

Relying on pain medication means your disease is not under control.

That should be the sole worry and focus of your Rheumatologist first.

The inflammation. Get a progessive thinking doctor. Someone who has

compassion. Someone who is willing to " work " with you as a partner

and listen to what you are asking. Trial and Error are often part of

the process which is the most difficult part. I feel for you. I have

been there too. Remember that your nutrition is also essential.

Doctors can be Old School and have a god complex. Others can be very

tenative and unaggressive with your treatment. I call them toe

dippers because they are afraid to try new things like Naltrexone.

That one is even too threatening for my RD. Others can be

overzealous. I would go for the positive upbeat never say Die kind.

Keep fighting to get the kind of care you need to find quality of

life. Less Pain, Less Depression. More Sleep. Better Diet and

Lifestyle. I hope that helps you. Deborah

On Mon, Apr 27, 2009 at 3:21 AM, hildahall61 <txsaritasmom@...> wrote:

>

>

> It seems that the doctors I have gone to, are very egotistical. They know

> everything, and don't really listen to me. I have diabetes, fribromyalgia,

> and RA. There were times when I curled up in a fetal position 24/7, and

> cried constantly because the pain was intense. My family doctor was

> awesome!! He kept me on soma, xanax, and vicodin. It worked to a certain

> degree. I went to a rheumatologist that he recommended, and he changed none

> of the meds, they were for the fibro. Unfortunately, my family doctor moved

> hundreds of miles away. I feel that if the methotrexate had been added to my

> other med regimen, I would be in better shape. The last rheumatoligist said

> she did not treat pain....thanks a lot. The next to last dr treated my fibro

> with lyrica which made my hands and feet swell. This killed me because my RA

> already hurt my hands and feet. When I called his office, he increased the

> dosage of lyrica!!

>

> I blame the lack of pain med scripts on these celebrity deaths. Ever since

> thay happened, , Heath Ledger, doctors assume everyone is in it

> for the drugs.

>

> Sometimes I think of all the ways to kill myself because I can't stand it

> anymore. Social Security tells me that since I can drive, I can push a 40

> pound door, so I am not disabled. They should be here when I have to wait

> till 1 pm to eat because there is no one to cook for me. They should be

> there when I can't dry off when I shower...I can't turn in bed without my

> shoulders making me scream.

>

> I am so depressed.........

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hilda I have to agree the junkies are really ruining for people who really need it. Just the past 6 month to a year I have been getting a hard time from the MA at my doctors office. If I talk to the doctor though I have no problems. I use to be able to fill my scripts a little early so I dont have to run out. Now I have to wait until the exact day to get a refill and then it can still take her a couple of days to call it in. It is so frustrating! If she could take my pain for a few days then she can mess with my meds but until then just call it in a few days early. I usually dont need them yet but I like to have them if I do. What if something happens where I need to go out of town and cant wait the days for her to take her time filing it? Shit happen...sorry, thats my favorite saying. That and

stupid people shouldnt breath. And now after reading posts today ........funny.....you dont look stupid....Thanks for that one !!!!! Just had to vent with you. Thanks I feel better.

in Michigan

From: hildahall61 <txsaritasmom@...>Subject: DepressionRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Monday, April 27, 2009, 3:21 AM

It seems that the doctors I have gone to, are very egotistical. They know everything, and don't really listen to me. I have diabetes, fribromyalgia, and RA. There were times when I curled up in a fetal position 24/7, and cried constantly because the pain was intense. My family doctor was awesome!! He kept me on soma, xanax, and vicodin. It worked to a certain degree. I went to a rheumatologist that he recommended, and he changed none of the meds, they were for the fibro. Unfortunately, my family doctor moved hundreds of miles away. I feel that if the methotrexate had been added to my other med regimen, I would be in better shape. The last rheumatoligist said she did not treat pain....thanks a lot. The next to last dr treated my fibro with lyrica which made my hands and feet swell. This killed me because my RA already hurt my hands and feet. When I called his office, he increased the dosage of lyrica!!I blame the lack of pain med scripts on

these celebrity deaths. Ever since thay happened, , Heath Ledger, doctors assume everyone is in it for the drugs. Sometimes I think of all the ways to kill myself because I can't stand it anymore. Social Security tells me that since I can drive, I can push a 40 pound door, so I am not disabled. They should be here when I have to wait till 1 pm to eat because there is no one to cook for me. They should be there when I can't dry off when I shower...I can't turn in bed without my shoulders making me scream.I am so depressed... ......