Heartbroken

February 18, 2001

Hi all,

I'm crying my heart out as I write this. Ever since we moved to NJ

end of December there's been non-stop disasters which I'm too upset

to even go into all of them. (Haven't even been online in weeks.).

But the last one is the worst thing that ever happened to me my whole

life. When we moved from Florida my boyfriend and me were gonna

spend a few months at our parents separately for several reasons and

then get an apt. together. Two weeks ago we went away for the weekend

and he was more loving than since I can remember (he's unloving most

of the time cause of my sickness.). I mean he was incredibly tender

and told me he loves me and has always loved me it's just that he

gets frustrated by my sickness. In so many ways he made me so happy

and I was so glad we were closer than we'd been in ages. Then this

week he got funny--he ignored Valentine's Day and then yesterday he

called to tell me he'd got a small apt. and was moving in by

himself. He won't talk about it except to say it's my sickness and

I've been hysterical for two days. I literally didn't sleep all

night and can hardly eat. He is my whole world. I love him so

much. Can somebody please tell me what to do. And please no

comments like forget him or he's not worth it or be happy by yourself

or anything mean about him. That stuff only hurts and upsets me

more. I just want advice on getting him back. I'm desperate. If

any women live near me (local call anyway.)in Freehold, NJ and can

call that would be great. Or post here. I will die without him. I

love him so much.

Madeleine ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: (endless

tears.)

February 18, 2001

Madeleine,

Yes you are heartbroken.............but you won't die without

him..............concentrate on yourself, right now, do good things for

yourself, have compassion for yourself......

.. " True Love " will reunite you both again.

This disease is stressful not only on the one that has it, but also those

that surround us. Our True Friends and True Loves may take time away from

us to recharge.........but the real ones will return...........be patient,

and understanding as he has been with you...........and you will both be

reunited in time.

Connie

Leave no stone unturned.......

February 19, 2001

Madeleine,

Don't know if this will help you but my (then) husband and myself split up

after I became ill (a year later, we'd been tgthr 4 years prior to my

becoming ill). I retrospect, I can identify two things as being responsible

for our breaking up:

a) doctors being unable to give a name and therefore a kind of legitimacy to

my being ill,

our not having identified how much HE needed help to cope with the

situation. HE needed support from friends, family and maybe even

professionals but he never asked for help for himself and it all became too

much for him. At the time I could not help him help me (and our

relationship), I could see his suffering but I thought that as mine was the

CAUSE of all our problems, mine had to be addressed first and all would be

well. But in fact, in a situation like ours with a chronic illness, it's

both people that need help and support, otherwise it becomes too depressing

for the " healthy " partner, I think.

Sorry, this is a bit general, but maybe you could try and talk to him along

these lines of you being aware of how terribly hard it is for him too. That

would validate his sufferings and he wouldn't feel so guilty.

Nelly

[ ] Heartbroken

> Hi all,

>

> I'm crying my heart out as I write this. Ever since we moved to NJ

> end of December there's been non-stop disasters which I'm too upset

> to even go into all of them. (Haven't even been online in weeks.).

> But the last one is the worst thing that ever happened to me my whole

> life. When we moved from Florida my boyfriend and me were gonna

> spend a few months at our parents separately for several reasons and

> then get an apt. together. Two weeks ago we went away for the weekend

> and he was more loving than since I can remember (he's unloving most

> of the time cause of my sickness.). I mean he was incredibly tender

> and told me he loves me and has always loved me it's just that he

> gets frustrated by my sickness. In so many ways he made me so happy

> and I was so glad we were closer than we'd been in ages. Then this

> week he got funny--he ignored Valentine's Day and then yesterday he

> called to tell me he'd got a small apt. and was moving in by

> himself. He won't talk about it except to say it's my sickness and

> I've been hysterical for two days. I literally didn't sleep all

> night and can hardly eat. He is my whole world. I love him so

> much. Can somebody please tell me what to do. And please no

> comments like forget him or he's not worth it or be happy by yourself

> or anything mean about him. That stuff only hurts and upsets me

> more. I just want advice on getting him back. I'm desperate. If

> any women live near me (local call anyway.)in Freehold, NJ and can

> call that would be great. Or post here. I will die without him. I

> love him so much.

> Madeleine ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: (endless

> tears.)

>

> Welcome to

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February 19, 2001

Hi Connie, Nelly, & ,

Connie your comments that he will come back made me feel a speck

better for the moment. Thank you. And Nelly I agree with both your

points. He probably suffers more than I realise. I mean he's

complained for years about my sickness but since he never gives me a

word of sympathy or even says that it makes him sad I always just

feel like he's angry at me. Over time he's varied between comments

that I'm a lazy liar and don't want to work to saying yes I'm sick

but it's a mind problem. Then when I finally got the CFS diagnosis

that I always knew I had he said well, Okay you do have it then but

CFS is a mind problem. Since I'd been to a stupid psychologist who

said she could cure me by re-training my mind not to get so angry

about maddening stuff that happens in life (now I know that it's

partly Lyme rage and of course that SO MUCH bad did and does happen

that anyone can only take so much.) and I knew that was baloney (or

the other word.) but he naturally believed her over me. I don't want

anyone changing me and I wouldn't have any of her garbage. Of course

I got many doctors saying I should go to counselling, was depressed,

was anxious--all that crap. And he believed them and not me that I

have a physical illness. When I got the positive LUAT I was thrilled

not only to find the infection finally but that now he'd know it was

true that it's physical, an infection, real, etc. but he's been just

as unsupportive as ever (and now worst of all.). He started saying

you might have Lyme but you have a mental problem. Yeah--that him

and my parents are still doubtful about the Lyme and still go on that

I have a mental problem. I do have the mental symptoms but they are

symptoms of and the result of the h--lish (can we say that word?)

existence I've had for years. (Will continue.) Madeleine

February 19, 2001

You better believe the mental parts of your life are from lyme. I've been

there, actually hospitalized for severe depression. Depression is an

imbalance of chemicals in your body. Lyme causes tremendous imbalance.

I wish I could help you........unfortunately you are going to have to gain

strength from within. I know that's difficult, and almost

impossible........because when depressed there is no inner strength, and the

lyme gives you no physical strength. You have to keep going though!!

Forget him for awhile...........you have nothing to prove, if he loves you

he should be by your side........for some reason he needs space......but

work on yourself right now..........work on getting your life

back...............it will be painful..........but time heals.

Connie

Leave no stone unturned.......

February 20, 2001

In a message dated 2/19/01 3:32:44 PM, Sierra376@... writes:

<< Yeah--that him

and my parents are still doubtful about the Lyme and still go on that

I have a mental problem. >>

Yes, you do have a mental problem, we all do!!!!!! Lyme infects the brain, it

causes a decrease in seratonin--is that so bad??? IT IS HORRIBLE TO LIVE WITH

SOMEONE THAT JUST WON'T EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS DISEASE AND ITS EFFECTS.

I am so sorry for what you are going through; I know it all too well.

Please keep taking care of yourself, you are the most important thing.

sue in nj

February 2, 2011

I am so sorry - you did the right thing, no matter how hard it was - your safety and his safety is the most important thing and it seems to me that you are doing what is right.

Hugs to you and your son - may they find the right meds and may things get better for you - I know your heart is breaking but you did the right thing you are a great mom.

SharonI did not chose to have Autism in my life, God did

From: jessica_rsn <jessica_rsn@...>Subject: Heartbrokenautism Date: Saturday, January 29, 2011, 10:05 PM

Hello. I rarely post, but read often. I am just so sad right now that I thought I would share with some people that might understand. I had to admit my 12 year old son w/ autism into the inpatient children's behavioral unit on Wednesday. He is still there and it is just killing me to have him there, but I could not control him at home. His behaviors have been continually increasing over the last year - swearing, threatening, throwing, pushing, hitting, head banging on windows, etc. Mainly when he can't have something he wants, but other times seemingly unprovoked. He also has a zero threshhold for waiting for anything. He will make a request and ask me every 5 seconds until he has it, with his impatience growing every time he asks. He has been in a level 3 autism program since kindergarten, but since moving to the middle school this fall, they can no longer control him and have asked us to move him to a Level 4 off-site program. He is a big boy for

his age and also a compulsive eater. He will throw huge meltdowns over food.He currently is on Abilify and Methylin (form of ritalin). He has been taking Zoloft, but we are weaning him off at the hospital and trying a new med called Neurontin for the anxiety. I would love any ideas, support, feedback you might have for me.

February 2, 2011

I am so sorry - you did the right thing, no matter how hard it was - your safety and his safety is the most important thing and it seems to me that you are doing what is right.

Hugs to you and your son - may they find the right meds and may things get better for you - I know your heart is breaking but you did the right thing you are a great mom.

SharonI did not chose to have Autism in my life, God did

From: jessica_rsn <jessica_rsn@...>Subject: Heartbrokenautism Date: Saturday, January 29, 2011, 10:05 PM

Hello. I rarely post, but read often. I am just so sad right now that I thought I would share with some people that might understand. I had to admit my 12 year old son w/ autism into the inpatient children's behavioral unit on Wednesday. He is still there and it is just killing me to have him there, but I could not control him at home. His behaviors have been continually increasing over the last year - swearing, threatening, throwing, pushing, hitting, head banging on windows, etc. Mainly when he can't have something he wants, but other times seemingly unprovoked. He also has a zero threshhold for waiting for anything. He will make a request and ask me every 5 seconds until he has it, with his impatience growing every time he asks. He has been in a level 3 autism program since kindergarten, but since moving to the middle school this fall, they can no longer control him and have asked us to move him to a Level 4 off-site program. He is a big boy for

his age and also a compulsive eater. He will throw huge meltdowns over food.He currently is on Abilify and Methylin (form of ritalin). He has been taking Zoloft, but we are weaning him off at the hospital and trying a new med called Neurontin for the anxiety. I would love any ideas, support, feedback you might have for me.

February 2, 2011

,

Sounds like you are doing all the right things. This disorder can be extremly difficult and requires us to make hard choices. How is your son's communication? I know that one of the main reasons for aggressive behavior is an iability to fully communicate and the frustration that comes with that. I know there is no simple fix with autisim, especially in severe cases. However, rest assured you sound like a caring and loving mother and I'm sure you are doing the best thing possible.

On Wed, Feb 2, 2011 at 11:28 AM, Alison Trotta-Marshall <rubyrain11@...> wrote:

My advice is to detox him.

You can test him for environmental toxins at Vitaminresearch.com .

You can test him for bromide which is in flame retardants sprayed on everything

from clothing to electronics to bedding, at Hakalaresearch.com.

Then begin to learn about detoxing your child/family at

naturalthyroidchoices.com, and read all you can by Dr Brownstein.

My daughter has NLD, and has stopped hitting since

I began detoxing her starting at age five. She was chocked full

of toxins, high levels even for an adult.

If you are not diligent to educate yourself, and join health groups like the iodine group,

then find a natural health practitioner that detoxes with iodoral.

Best to you.

Ali

On Feb 2, 2011, at 8:10 AM, Pat wrote:

, I understand that; we went through that with Karac and had to hospitalize him too. It was a good thing. It gave us a break and they got him calmed down. Pat Kinpatient children's behavioral unit on Wednesday. He is still there

and it is just killing me to have him there, but I could not control him at home. His behaviors have been continually increasing over the last year - swearing, threatening, throwing, pushing, hitting, head banging on windows, etc. Mainly when he can't have something he wants,

but other times seemingly unprovoked. He also has a zero threshhold for waiting for anything. He will make a request and ask me every 5 seconds until he has it, with his impatience growing every time he asks. He has

been in a level 3 autism program since kindergarten, but since moving to the middle school this fall, they can no longer control him and have asked us to move him to a Level 4 off-site program. He is a big boy for

his age and also a compulsive eater. He will throw huge meltdowns over food.He currently is on Abilify and Methylin (form of ritalin). He has been taking Zoloft, but we are weaning him off at the hospital and trying a

new med called Neurontin for the anxiety. I would love any ideas, support, feedback you might have for me. Heartbroken

Hello. I rarely post, but read often. I am just so sad right now that I thought I would share with some people that might understand. I had to admit my 12 year old son w/ autism into the inpatient children's

behavioral unit on Wednesday. He is still there and it is just killing me to have him there, but I could not control him at home. His behaviors have been continually increasing over the last year - swearing, threatening, throwing, pushing, hitting, head banging on

windows, etc. Mainly when he can't have something he wants, but other times seemingly unprovoked. He also has a zero threshhold for waiting for anything. He will make a request and ask me every 5 seconds until

he has it, with his impatience growing every time he asks. He has been in a level 3 autism program since kindergarten, but since moving to the middle school this fall, they can no longer control him and have asked

us to move him to a Level 4 off-site program. He is a big boy for his age and also a compulsive eater. He will throw huge meltdowns over food.He currently is on Abilify and Methylin (form of ritalin). He has been

taking Zoloft, but we are weaning him off at the hospital and trying a new med called Neurontin for the anxiety. I would love any ideas, support, feedback you might have for me.

February 2, 2011