Jump to content
RemedySpot.com

behaviors

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

In a message dated 9/22/00 8:26:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

egroups writes:

<< 1. When your kiddies act up, like doing rituals and their behaviors

and things like that, do you think they are doing them because they

can't help it or doing it for attention to get a rise out of you? or

maybe it happens both ways? sometimes the stuff jared does i will

spie him looking at me to see how i will respond. does that mean he

can't help or doesn't understand the baehavior hes doing? i find this

very confusing.

2. Did or does your kiddies ever use rifton chairs for behavior and

or learning to help with focus? jared used one when he was tiny but

hasn't used one for a long time. i am trying to decide if i want one

for home or not to work on some activities with him there.

>>

Marie:

Funny you should ask.....I really think in 's case, he doesn't MEAN to

act the way he does....it's like he's " driven " or

" possessed " ........especially the impulsive part of him.....as for the Rifton

chair, we just put in a request to 's caseworker to approve a Rifton

chair to help him stay still for meals and haircuts!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

In a message dated 3/7/02 1:07:24 PM Central Standard Time,

writes:

> . I never see these

> behaviors at home! He can get into plenty of things at home but not this.

> All

> these drs look at me like I have ten heads. Did anyone ever experience

> these

> type of behaviors and quick mood swings? Zeb is on Luvox 50 mg. in the am

> and

> 25mg. at bedtime. He has done very well on the drug and can manage

> transition

> at home and at school much better. He still occassionally lines the house

> with whatever he is playing with. If any of you have any suggestions I am

> open to anything that could be a possibility. My nerves are on edge today.

> Charlyne

> Mom to Zeb 9 DS/OCD ?

>

>

>

Charlyne,

has these swift mood swings. I wish I had found one cause for it that

we can address but it hasn't been that simple.

I have to go through all the questions Is it medical? etc,,,,,

Anyway, about Zeb's age discovered that he had this power over cause

and effect. Unfortunately it occurred on the bus and we ended up removing

him.

I would guess that if it was medical you would see it at home at times. Or it

would be occurring only in the classroom or only on the bus. I'm thinking

about environmentally triggered seizures.

I would go back to asking what he gets out of this? And how can they prevent

it from even starting. I would strongly discourage them from calling you to

fill in when he is like this. It seems like it would reinforce the

" behavior " (I'm using the term loosely since you aren't sure what is causing

it).

I know with he starts out by defying someone to get what he wants or by

just being goofy but once it starts and isn't going the way he thinks it

should he would (much better now) totally flip out. (kind of like my 15 month

old).

Although the glazed look to his eyes can be a indicator of seizures I have

often seen it in kids that had " lost their temper " and we were able to get

the issues under control with behavioral intervention techniques. (that would

be back in my professional days pre-mom)

Anyway, I'd guess (free advice, you get what you pay for) he has found a pay

off to acting like this and the total flip out may come when it isn't working

like it has in the past or on occasion.

With we have to make sure that physically everything is OK, meds

(adderall) help keep him within the boundaries, and once we have seen a

behavior we try to make sure that we don't let him get control of that

situation again by changing the routine or environment.

Wish I had an answer. Good luck,

Karyn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 8 months later...

In a message dated 11/11/02 10:45:25 PM Eastern Standard Time,

greenpak@... writes:

> and his chewing uuugh chewed through 3 shirts, several toys, and two cpap

> masks, and then tonight when i was looking for an older simplicity mask,

> (im worried he might of ate some of whats left of his blue gel mask) i

> turned around and he was chewing up his tubing for cpap, rrrrrr i rubbed

> his teeth down with ambesol. And to top it off he continues to be ill with

> snotty nose, and ear infection every 3 weeks, icky cough, and continues to

> fall asleep from anywehere of 5minutes at a time up to an hour at a time

> several times throughout the school day,

UGH a!!! Sorry honey!!!! Well, I would say that maybe the

behaviors are related to the illness. Also, have you been very very busy

packing and all that stuff? Our kids tend to notice things that we think

they wouldn't. Is it possible he is responding to all the change? Maybe

he notices that you guys are doing something different and he's not sure what

to do about it?

Just a thought honey. I hope that new house of yours has a great big comfy

bath tub!!!!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Donna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

no packing or moving involdved, we have rented the house we just bought for

the ppast year now, in fact eactly a year nov 1. he even knows the address

when typing. I thinkits his meds, we are titrating him off this week, after

reading im almost inclined to think its that serotonin syndrome, similair to

that neruoleptic malignant syndrome, he has had many sx's but it could be

anything and im not a doctor. i hope by december and the meds are good and

gone out of his system he will improve, will always be hyper but as i told

health care company today, they will just have to engage him in more

activities. shawna.

Re: behaviors

> In a message dated 11/11/02 10:45:25 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> greenpak@... writes:

>

>

> > and his chewing uuugh chewed through 3 shirts, several toys, and two

cpap

> > masks, and then tonight when i was looking for an older simplicity mask,

> > (im worried he might of ate some of whats left of his blue gel mask) i

> > turned around and he was chewing up his tubing for cpap, rrrrrr i rubbed

> > his teeth down with ambesol. And to top it off he continues to be ill

with

> > snotty nose, and ear infection every 3 weeks, icky cough, and continues

to

> > fall asleep from anywehere of 5minutes at a time up to an hour at a time

> > several times throughout the school day,

>

> UGH a!!! Sorry honey!!!! Well, I would say that maybe the

> behaviors are related to the illness. Also, have you been very very busy

> packing and all that stuff? Our kids tend to notice things that we think

> they wouldn't. Is it possible he is responding to all the change?

Maybe

> he notices that you guys are doing something different and he's not sure

what

> to do about it?

> Just a thought honey. I hope that new house of yours has a great big

comfy

> bath tub!!!!!!

> {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

> Donna

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

Thanks, It helps knowing others are in the same boat. We have over $100.00

in gates for our staircase, but can't get any to stay snug do to the large

woodwork. I keep telling my hubby that he needs to figure it out. We do have

a gate on her room, as I feel it is the only safe place she can be while I'm

getting dressed or a shower. I guess I was just trying to not gate her in so

much, but rather teach her right from wrong and let her make choices, like

spilling the water. And her throwing is truly out of anger, every time. I

feel like she is an angry child. The minute things go wrong, she's mad. If

she can't do something, she's mad. If she's tired, she's mad. If she's sick,

she's mad. We did put eye hooks on the upstairs doors so that if we are

upstairs and don't want her to get into the spare room, we can hook it, but

the key is that we have to remember. :-) I guess we need some training too!

I did ask her ped at the last visit if she thought she would " calm " down and

all that she said was that she may or may not. I hate the thought of

medicating her, but at what point to you do that? I'm sure you can

understand that Myah is like dealing with triplets! I guess I am more

concerned because of the others I know in my area, there kids are more calm

and quiet. Myah likes to go to restaurants and go to every table to greet

people. She's constantly on the go. We just finished up being the Ambassador

family for our counties MRDD program and she got TONS of attention on stage

and commercials and cameras-she loved it. They referred us to a few talent

agencies in Cleveland because they think she is very photogenic and

outgoing. I guess what we are going to do is go with it. If it's what she

likes and she's content, then why not?

Re: behaviors

:

As far as safety issues are concerned, this has been a problem with our

daughter Sierra. Last year, I asked her developmental pediatrician, and he

told me they don't fully understand safety issues, like running into the

street, danger etc etc; till they are 7-8. They just view the world as one

big playground, and don't fully understand the long-term consequences. You

might want to also consider putting special locks on doors, eye hooks,

deadbolts, chains etc etc; that you can reach but she can't. Unfortunately,

our children do have a tendency to wander and get into everything, a natural

curiosity, but one with dangers they don't see. Yes, she may stop if you

spank her right then and there, but she won't remember it for next time.

One thing that worked for me to keep her out of her brother's room, was to

get a baby gate. This keeps her from destroying his stuff, and she knows

she can't get in, so it doesn't become a power struggle. Also, if possible,

if you could prevent behaviors, like removing her cup of water before she

leaves your sight; tell ehr she can pour the water into a plant only, or get

a cup that doesn't spill. She might be working on cause and effect, so let

her dump water when she's in the tub. As far as throwing things, that will

take time and perserverance. There are a number of reasons for throwing. I

found one of the reasons Sierra threw, was out of frustration or fear. If

she was afraid of a noisy thing, she'd throw it. Also, if we tell her to

give it to us sternly, she gets scared and throws it. Unfortunately, we are

still working on this, but it has greatly diminished. It is not as obvious

in preschool as it had been. We requested she have a one on one aid BEFORE

we started her in PS. We based it on a number of factors. One reason we

used, was for the safety of herself AND the other students. Most times,

when she threw in school, there was a reason. If you can identify what that

is, it helps tremendously. You could also ask her to give it gently, or

throw it into something, like a box or basket. Try to bring out the good

qualities and reward her with tons of praise when she does something right.

Also, I found singing to her about anything helped. You could simply sing

the words you want to speak. It will get her attention, make it fun for

her, and she may respond better. I hope this helps some! Hang in there!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 1/2/2004 8:28:52 PM Eastern Standard Time,

kspilious@... writes:

> I was reading

> over Myah's things in her pre-school packet and there is a letter from the

> psychologist who says, there's no problem too small, so don't be afraid. Do

> you think I should go to her, or a doctor?

>

Only my very jaded and bruised opinion... run-- don't walk from school

psychologists. I have seen more damage done by imcompetent hacks than I could

imagine in Liam's 5 years of school. Some of my friends are psychologists so I

feel guilty saying it. I worked with 4 over the summer as a parent rep in NYC

and only one was rational.

I'd shop around for a developmental pediatrician if I were you.

Kathy, Liam's mom( 5)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HaHa! I can guarantee that's my Myah, always testing people. She was so

sweet and calm tonight. Seems as though she is feeling better from her cold.

When she is even slightly sick, she's a monster, and I do mean monster. I

describe it as hyper-spaz mode! Hopefully things will settle down-at least a

little now. How do we get this behavior plan? from school? I was reading

over Myah's things in her pre-school packet and there is a letter from the

psychologist who says, there's no problem too small, so don't be afraid. Do

you think I should go to her, or a doctor?

Re: behaviors

i have to add alec to the list of children who can have difficult behaviors

at times and has had a CBA working with us for years. yes, alec's behaviors

are overall getting much better and we have adapted where we take him and

what

we do with him. . he still needs someone very consistent in applying

behavioral techniques working with him, or will take full advantage. alec's

cba tells

me that alec is one of those kids who will continue to test everyone.

Lori mom to Alec (11DS) and le (15-teenager)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...
Guest guest

Hi Lois,

I cannot give you much advice but I can certainly relate! My sons

behaviors have somewhat deteriorated in the last few weeks mostly at

school; I think it has to do with the fact this is the last week and there

is nothing going on and he is tired of the same old activities. My son just

turned 17 this past March and things were going pretty good but the meds do

not seem to be working as well. We have had him on medications now for

the last couple of years due to aggressive tendencies - hitting, throwing

stuff etc. But he was not like your son always a mild guy even before

puberty. He has two kinds of behaviors - the silly kind like ripping up

paper, giggling for no reason, etc etc. or the angry type of behaviors.

Yesterday morning he got up and wanted to go on a motorcycle ride and we

said no, we were going biking. A cloud began to form over his face. One

good thing is that he is now beginning to tell us that he is mad and we are

sometimes able to talk him down. This time he let out a number of screams,

a couple of swear words, punched my husband lightly but did not through

anything. (Last Friday at school he threw his tray and some other kids

tray across the cafeteria) At home if he is able to keep it together we

all clap and he says happily " kept it together " It is not as bad as it

was when he was not on medication but it is worrisome because my son is such

a big guy- 6 feet tall.

I would like to cut my sons meds down a bit this summer but I am afraid the

rages could get worse if I do. Let me know how it goes! How much

risperdal was your son on before you stopped it for tics? My son takes 1.5

a day.

Sandy in New Mexico

Hello all,

My son JJ is 16 and his behaviours have been getting worse and worse.

Before puberity he was a very mild little guy. Now he has been scream

talking,throwing fits in a store like a toddler if he doesan't get something

(which he never use to do), hitting the aid at school when he gets upset

about something and/or throwing things at school. He is on zoloft right now,

He use to take resperdal but I was seeing a lot of ticks so I took him

off...........I am about ready to give it back to him. Any suggestions would

be very helpful. Thank you, Lois

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

Sandy, Hi! J was on 0.5mg once in the morning and at night. It helped him

alot but the side effects was to bad to keep him on it. J gets real silly

to. Lois

Re:behaviors

> Hi Lois,

> I cannot give you much advice but I can certainly relate! My sons

> behaviors have somewhat deteriorated in the last few weeks mostly at

> school; I think it has to do with the fact this is the last week and there

> is nothing going on and he is tired of the same old activities. My son

just

> turned 17 this past March and things were going pretty good but the meds

do

> not seem to be working as well. We have had him on medications now for

> the last couple of years due to aggressive tendencies - hitting, throwing

> stuff etc. But he was not like your son always a mild guy even before

> puberty. He has two kinds of behaviors - the silly kind like ripping up

> paper, giggling for no reason, etc etc. or the angry type of behaviors.

> Yesterday morning he got up and wanted to go on a motorcycle ride and we

> said no, we were going biking. A cloud began to form over his face. One

> good thing is that he is now beginning to tell us that he is mad and we

are

> sometimes able to talk him down. This time he let out a number of

screams,

> a couple of swear words, punched my husband lightly but did not through

> anything. (Last Friday at school he threw his tray and some other kids

> tray across the cafeteria) At home if he is able to keep it together we

> all clap and he says happily " kept it together " It is not as bad as it

> was when he was not on medication but it is worrisome because my son is

such

> a big guy- 6 feet tall.

> I would like to cut my sons meds down a bit this summer but I am afraid

the

> rages could get worse if I do. Let me know how it goes! How much

> risperdal was your son on before you stopped it for tics? My son takes

1.5

> a day.

> Sandy in New Mexico

>

>

>

> Hello all,

> My son JJ is 16 and his behaviours have been getting worse and worse.

> Before puberity he was a very mild little guy. Now he has been scream

> talking,throwing fits in a store like a toddler if he doesan't get

something

> (which he never use to do), hitting the aid at school when he gets upset

> about something and/or throwing things at school. He is on zoloft right

now,

> He use to take resperdal but I was seeing a lot of ticks so I took him

> off...........I am about ready to give it back to him. Any suggestions

would

> be very helpful. Thank you, Lois

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

Sandy, I used to want to cut the meds for times when Evan was not in school

but I learned quickly that it is not a very good idea with some meds and

Risperdal is one of those meds. So many must build up in the systom before

they even work and if you stop, then you must go slowly. Even knowing this

and weaning Evan off his Risperdal slowly, I was not prepared for the

problems we say in him when he was off his meds.

BETTY ANN-62 yo, possibly undx'd Bipolar

grandma to

ANDREW - 12 yo-- Bipolar/ADHD, Homeschooled

EVAN - 10 yo-- nonverbal autism

DAVID 8 yo Bipolar/ADHD

and mother to ANDREA -33 yo, their mom, also

Bipolar/ADHD

wife to BOB - 72 yo, a very tired grandpa

----- Original Message -----

From: " Sandy Rupnow " <sparkk@...>

> I would like to cut my sons meds down a bit this summer but I am afraid

the

> rages could get worse if I do. >

Sandy in New Mexico

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

With risperdal you have to do a slow wean. And even then for a few weeks you will see bad things coming off of it until it is completely gone from the child's system. It is an anti-psychotic drug and believe me they act very psychotic coming off of it. Even when we finally stopped the meds completely it took a week or two for things to calm down.

Elaine

Sandy, I used to want to cut the meds for times when Evan was not in schoolbut I learned quickly that it is not a very good idea with some meds andRisperdal is one of those meds. So many must build up in the systom beforethey even work and if you stop, then you must go slowly. Even knowing thisand weaning Evan off his Risperdal slowly, I was not prepared for theproblems we say in him when he was off his meds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

In a message dated 8/5/2005 11:59:13 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

cindysue@... writes:

loves having deep pressure applied and cannot stand light touch.

Applying deep pressure does have a calming effect on him

This is my Caleb also. The brushing technique helps also. We always laugh

when they do his blood pressure because most people don't like the squeezing

sensation of the blood pressure cuff. Caleb is always begging them to

" squeeze tighter " .

Loree

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

In a message dated 8/5/2005 11:59:13 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

cindysue@... writes:

loves having deep pressure applied and cannot stand light touch.

Applying deep pressure does have a calming effect on him

This is my Caleb also. The brushing technique helps also. We always laugh

when they do his blood pressure because most people don't like the squeezing

sensation of the blood pressure cuff. Caleb is always begging them to

" squeeze tighter " .

Loree

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

has proven over and over she knows how to behave, but she also can

read people like a book, and knows when she will get away with something.

Trent to a tee, knows exactly when he can get away with certain behaviours -

latest is mimicking other more disabled clients at his day placement - he

becomes a person with CP, no language skills at all just a few grunts and

loads of autistic behaviours - the average person feels so sorry for him

and thinks his family are just mean and horrible to a young person with a

major disability! Say the right thing to get him out of it and he just

laughs. Have had to abort a hearing test due to him deciding to be a person

with limited understanding and with the need to have every step repeated

several times.

The last time I took him to Mcs he was being himself, until I ordered

then started his 'disabled' act. The pain knew I was committed to the

order - only he doesn't realise next time he does that to me I will either

cancel the order or just put it in the bin to prove I will not tolerate this

act.

Keep smiling

Jan, mother of Trent 21yo w/DS from the Land DownUnder

4 more sleeps until arrives home

8 more sleeps until arrives home - currently enjoying a day or two in

Vegas.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

has proven over and over she knows how to behave, but she also can

read people like a book, and knows when she will get away with something.

Trent to a tee, knows exactly when he can get away with certain behaviours -

latest is mimicking other more disabled clients at his day placement - he

becomes a person with CP, no language skills at all just a few grunts and

loads of autistic behaviours - the average person feels so sorry for him

and thinks his family are just mean and horrible to a young person with a

major disability! Say the right thing to get him out of it and he just

laughs. Have had to abort a hearing test due to him deciding to be a person

with limited understanding and with the need to have every step repeated

several times.

The last time I took him to Mcs he was being himself, until I ordered

then started his 'disabled' act. The pain knew I was committed to the

order - only he doesn't realise next time he does that to me I will either

cancel the order or just put it in the bin to prove I will not tolerate this

act.

Keep smiling

Jan, mother of Trent 21yo w/DS from the Land DownUnder

4 more sleeps until arrives home

8 more sleeps until arrives home - currently enjoying a day or two in

Vegas.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

In a message dated 8/5/2005 11:22:31 AM Central Standard Time,

CMancari@... writes:

I just had an insight, I think. I was posting on the Hyperlexia list and

wrote what follows. What do you folks think? Do you think that I might be

on

to something? If so, how do we handle the 'others' that seem to want to

excuse inappropriate behaviors while our kids are young but become annoyed

when

those same behaviors continue to appear as our kids get older? How do we

convince others that what may seem 'cute' or 'excusable' from a toddler,

preschooler or early elementary child becomes 'intolerable' and

'inexcusable' from a

preteen, teen or adult?

HI :)

I am very careful when it comes to Sara's behaviors and judging how others

treat her.

Sara had an awesome year last year in school but that was due to a team

FOLLOWING her behavior plan. Sara is a child who needs this plan to work 24-7

yes

she can behave she just lacks the skills to behave 24-7 lol especially when

approached wrong. Does this make sense? lol example ............... Sara

found Kaite's (her 16 yr. old sister) lip gloss on the kitchen table, Kaite

screamed " Sara give that to me " .............. Sara says " no " and pockets the

lip

gloss. If I see Sara with Kaite's lip gloss I will say " Sara will you help me

pick up and run Kaite makeup to her dresser? " Sara will do it. It's all in

the approach

I kind of feel (IMHO) that if others excuse one of Sara's behaviors then I

don't sweat it. Sara may not have some of her " behaviors " if not for her

disability ........... then again this weekend Kaite would not return my son's

sunglasses after he yelled for her to return them. Soooooooooo maybe rebelling

is just a way a child behaves when spoke to harshly lol

Kathy mom to Sara 13

¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ ¸...¸

,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\ ,·´º o`·,

```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | | | ```)¨(´´´

¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-.¸

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Josh. 24:15

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

In a message dated 8/5/2005 11:22:31 AM Central Standard Time,

CMancari@... writes:

I just had an insight, I think. I was posting on the Hyperlexia list and

wrote what follows. What do you folks think? Do you think that I might be

on

to something? If so, how do we handle the 'others' that seem to want to

excuse inappropriate behaviors while our kids are young but become annoyed

when

those same behaviors continue to appear as our kids get older? How do we

convince others that what may seem 'cute' or 'excusable' from a toddler,

preschooler or early elementary child becomes 'intolerable' and

'inexcusable' from a

preteen, teen or adult?

HI :)

I am very careful when it comes to Sara's behaviors and judging how others

treat her.

Sara had an awesome year last year in school but that was due to a team

FOLLOWING her behavior plan. Sara is a child who needs this plan to work 24-7

yes

she can behave she just lacks the skills to behave 24-7 lol especially when

approached wrong. Does this make sense? lol example ............... Sara

found Kaite's (her 16 yr. old sister) lip gloss on the kitchen table, Kaite

screamed " Sara give that to me " .............. Sara says " no " and pockets the

lip

gloss. If I see Sara with Kaite's lip gloss I will say " Sara will you help me

pick up and run Kaite makeup to her dresser? " Sara will do it. It's all in

the approach

I kind of feel (IMHO) that if others excuse one of Sara's behaviors then I

don't sweat it. Sara may not have some of her " behaviors " if not for her

disability ........... then again this weekend Kaite would not return my son's

sunglasses after he yelled for her to return them. Soooooooooo maybe rebelling

is just a way a child behaves when spoke to harshly lol

Kathy mom to Sara 13

¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ ¸...¸

,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\ ,·´º o`·,

```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | | | ```)¨(´´´

¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-.¸

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Josh. 24:15

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

In a message dated 8/9/2005 8:42:03 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, B4alltoday

writes:

Sara is a child who needs this plan to work 24-7 yes she can behave she just

lacks the skills to behave 24-7 lol especially when approached wrong.

I understand perfectly!!! My mom must too as she got Nick a t-shirt that say

something to the effect, I can be good, you just have to remind me often.

Cari

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

In a message dated 8/9/2005 8:42:03 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, B4alltoday

writes:

Sara is a child who needs this plan to work 24-7 yes she can behave she just

lacks the skills to behave 24-7 lol especially when approached wrong.

I understand perfectly!!! My mom must too as she got Nick a t-shirt that say

something to the effect, I can be good, you just have to remind me often.

Cari

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I see that with . A calm respectful approach works a lot better than

brusqueness and ordering her around, especially if sibs or peers are

involved.

I also notice that when she is really unhappy with a comment or being told

she cannot or must do something (even nicely), giving a few minutes for her

to storm about it usually results in her recovering and going along with

reasonably good grace (although the few minutes can be hard to put up with),

so I tend to look at that as an accommodation for her developing impulse

control and ability to accept what she can't change--but doesn't much like.

Judi

Re: Behaviors

In a message dated 8/5/2005 11:22:31 AM Central Standard Time,

CMancari@... writes:

I just had an insight, I think. I was posting on the Hyperlexia list and

wrote what follows. What do you folks think? Do you think that I might

be

on

to something? If so, how do we handle the 'others' that seem to want to

excuse inappropriate behaviors while our kids are young but become annoyed

when

those same behaviors continue to appear as our kids get older? How do we

convince others that what may seem 'cute' or 'excusable' from a toddler,

preschooler or early elementary child becomes 'intolerable' and

'inexcusable' from a

preteen, teen or adult?

HI :)

I am very careful when it comes to Sara's behaviors and judging how others

treat her.

Sara had an awesome year last year in school but that was due to a team

FOLLOWING her behavior plan. Sara is a child who needs this plan to work

24-7 yes

she can behave she just lacks the skills to behave 24-7 lol especially when

approached wrong. Does this make sense? lol example ............... Sara

found Kaite's (her 16 yr. old sister) lip gloss on the kitchen table, Kaite

screamed " Sara give that to me " .............. Sara says " no " and pockets

the lip

gloss. If I see Sara with Kaite's lip gloss I will say " Sara will you help

me

pick up and run Kaite makeup to her dresser? " Sara will do it. It's all in

the approach

I kind of feel (IMHO) that if others excuse one of Sara's behaviors then I

don't sweat it. Sara may not have some of her " behaviors " if not for her

disability ........... then again this weekend Kaite would not return my

son's

sunglasses after he yelled for her to return them. Soooooooooo maybe

rebelling

is just a way a child behaves when spoke to harshly lol

Kathy mom to Sara 13

¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ ¸...¸

,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\ ,·´º o`·,

```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | | | ```)¨(´´´

¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-.¸

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Josh. 24:15

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I see that with . A calm respectful approach works a lot better than

brusqueness and ordering her around, especially if sibs or peers are

involved.

I also notice that when she is really unhappy with a comment or being told

she cannot or must do something (even nicely), giving a few minutes for her

to storm about it usually results in her recovering and going along with

reasonably good grace (although the few minutes can be hard to put up with),

so I tend to look at that as an accommodation for her developing impulse

control and ability to accept what she can't change--but doesn't much like.

Judi

Re: Behaviors

In a message dated 8/5/2005 11:22:31 AM Central Standard Time,

CMancari@... writes:

I just had an insight, I think. I was posting on the Hyperlexia list and

wrote what follows. What do you folks think? Do you think that I might

be

on

to something? If so, how do we handle the 'others' that seem to want to

excuse inappropriate behaviors while our kids are young but become annoyed

when

those same behaviors continue to appear as our kids get older? How do we

convince others that what may seem 'cute' or 'excusable' from a toddler,

preschooler or early elementary child becomes 'intolerable' and

'inexcusable' from a

preteen, teen or adult?

HI :)

I am very careful when it comes to Sara's behaviors and judging how others

treat her.

Sara had an awesome year last year in school but that was due to a team

FOLLOWING her behavior plan. Sara is a child who needs this plan to work

24-7 yes

she can behave she just lacks the skills to behave 24-7 lol especially when

approached wrong. Does this make sense? lol example ............... Sara

found Kaite's (her 16 yr. old sister) lip gloss on the kitchen table, Kaite

screamed " Sara give that to me " .............. Sara says " no " and pockets

the lip

gloss. If I see Sara with Kaite's lip gloss I will say " Sara will you help

me

pick up and run Kaite makeup to her dresser? " Sara will do it. It's all in

the approach

I kind of feel (IMHO) that if others excuse one of Sara's behaviors then I

don't sweat it. Sara may not have some of her " behaviors " if not for her

disability ........... then again this weekend Kaite would not return my

son's

sunglasses after he yelled for her to return them. Soooooooooo maybe

rebelling

is just a way a child behaves when spoke to harshly lol

Kathy mom to Sara 13

¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ ¸...¸

,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\ ,·´º o`·,

```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | | | ```)¨(´´´

¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-.¸

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Josh. 24:15

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 years later...

We're about three weeks into the chelation process.  Sometimes my son's

behaviors seem worse rather than better.  I know that this process has it's ups

and downs.  I was looking for a safe way to try and handle my son's meltdowns. 

A friend sent me this link yesterday and I thought it was a short helpful video

on how to address some of his meltdowns.

 

 

Michele

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Boy what I would give to have a person this knowledgeable working in our

district. Seems like things are better in states up north. It is a very

helpful video.

My son melted down at school almost every day last year. I had to keep

picking him up earlier and earlier, though the years before I was able to

pick him up at the curb like all the other kids. Then last year he started

melting down as the day drew to a close. Then I would pick him up earlier

to avoid the meltdown, but if I was in his mind so much as one second late,

he would melt down (anxiety and crying). Their solution was to walk him

back and forth through the very crowd that caused the meltdown in the first

place, or have him in the main office where there is a lot of commotion

during that time. They all would look clueless whenever this would happen.

He would tell me their use of mega phones was terrifyingly painful to him,

and as the day drew to a close, he would fret more and more about the

upcoming use of the megaphones. You'd think educated people could come up

with a better way to call for students, but no, even as the autism rates

rise, they will cling to their use of megaphones and shrill whistles!

Generally while out in public, my son now rarely exhibits bad behavior, but

when he does, I use the removal of privileges one by one, and he then

usually gets a hold of himself. If he has lost many, and then he gets a

hold of his behavior and demonstates good behavior for the rest of our trip

--then he has to get his chores done first, too --then he can earn one

priveledge back for the rest of that day. (not for the whole time, but say

he earns back one hour of computer time). This has worked well for us for

years. We have a motto: " Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it. "

We do not remind him of what he did wrong yesterday. Every day is new.

However, he knows that on Fridays he gets an incentive for doing his school

work and chores and having a good week. If he has had a really bad week, he

knows there is no incentive for that week.

I am going to ask him where he wants his safe spot at home. A safe spot in

a store out in public would be difficult -- I guess ours is to leave and get

to the car ASAP!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...