Re: Re: Quality of Life Poll? / LYRA

[Guest guest]

I was also a newleywed in 1993 when this disease REALLY hit me. I had

gotten married in Sept of that year and flat on my back by Nov. Lyra do

yourself and your husband a favor.. GET COUNSELING on how to deal with this

situation. I will not lie to you... This is and will affect your marriage

especially since you're just starting out... I was in the SAME position you

are...Unfortunately at the time my husband did not feel counseling would help

HIM understand or handle the situation better because he thought he was doing

just fine. Well 3 1/2 yrs after we were married we were divorced because he

was doing so well at handeling things.. I have since then remarried and made

SURE my current husband new FULLY what he was getting into.. I took him to

ALL my doctor and had them sit him down and tell him EXACTLY what the deal

was and I gave him more than ample opportunity to leave me and find someone

healthy he could be with. Allthough I didn't want him to go I loved him and

do love him enough to let him go so he could and can be happy... So PLEASE be

sure to GET COUNSELING.. this isn't a lil thing and it will and does affect

everyone you're involved with.. Good Luck..

Robyn In NJ

" It is not important how much the soul loves,

but

Rather how much the Soul IS Loved. "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/27/01 11:43:21 AM Central Daylight Time,

LymeDizzy@... writes:

<< I was also a newleywed in 1993 when this disease REALLY hit me. I had

gotten married in Sept of that year and flat on my back by Nov. Lyra do

yourself and your husband a favor.. GET COUNSELING on how to deal with this

situation. I will not lie to you... This is and will affect your marriage >>

It definitely killed my marriage...even though my wife knew I was sick she

couldn't handle it and we should have our divorce finalized in the next 30

days or so.

[Guest guest]

Lyra

Im so glad to see he's agree'd to go to counseling.. it will help both

of you.. He will learn how to help you with what you're feeling and you will

be able to help him with what he's feeling... The most important thing is to

ALWAYS keep the lines of communication open no matter what the situation for

once they are closed all hope is lost....

I'm also glad to see you're still able to get out socially . That

helps him as much as it helps your mental state.. trust me on that one.... If

he can and when he wants too meaning your husband, involve him in your

illness and in your treatment. Ask for his opnions and what he thinks.. I do

this with my husband and allthough there's nothing he can do to cure me he

does feel like he is helping me because he is involved with my doctors etc

and he is up to date on Lyme and it's co infections. I wish you both all the

best and please keep us posted on how things are going..

Robyn In NJ

" It is not important how much the soul loves,

but

Rather how much the Soul IS Loved. "

[Guest guest]

Lyra, this is great news to hear! You hadn't mentioned your husband before,

other than to say you were a newylwed and then to say you were worried about how

he would deal with this and how you didn't want to be a burden on him.

I'm so glad that he is supportive and willing to learn. That's encouraging and

very reassuring. The more he learns, the better for both of you. And will help

to calm both of your fears, and hopefully strengthen your love for each other.

Battling something together makes it so much " easier " (if that's an appropriate

term). Knowlege is power, as I'm sure you already know. Fear and ignorance, and

the unwillingness to learn, is the worst enemy of all, to me, and ultimately

destroys relationships (friends, family, marriage, employee/employer, whatever

the connection). At least, that's what I've found in my experience.

Love ya, Rose

=========

Lyra wrote: <snip>Robyn, Thanks for the note..I showed it to my husband.

I think he has been

dealing with it OK so far. I am taking him to

counseling so her will

learn how to deal with it. He is so loving and I

am hoping we will

make it through the long haul.

T.O.I.L. for Lyme!

T=Teach tolerance; O=Overcome ignorance; I=Initiate insurance reform; L=Labor

for Lyme literacy

*Websites*

http://www.angelfire.com/tx3/RoseWriter or

http://www.angelfire.com/biz/romarkaraoke/james.html

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