Re: Supportive Husbands & Family (was: Michele's website & future plans/that is fabulous)

[Guest guest]

Dear (Trenton GA),

Hopefully we will eventually be able to help as many as need it, starting

small but want to expand as much as possible as soon as possible. And then

perhaps help others around the country set up places like this wherever it

is needed for as many as need it.

What really brought things home for my husband was when he took me to

support group meetings in FL for the CFS. Then he knew that I was not

making it up, that I really was ill and that I was thankfully not as bad off

as others in the group.

The biggest fear is the fear of the unknown, not knowing if I was really

sick or what to expect. I guess a lot of husbands forget the " in sickness "

part of the marriage vows. But do not let him get any further away without

talking to him. Try to help him understand and ask him to ask any questions

he wants, tell him that you are just learning what is going on in your body

and share with him.

Do you have children? My daughter was 8 when I first realized that I was

sick, and when I was first diagnosed with FM, my doctor did not believe in

it, so the next day I had a new doctor. It is harder with children as they

rely on you so much. Husbands kind of have their own lives with their jobs

so don't rely on you as much.

My daughter is now 18 and has two children of her own and never gets enough

sleep as one goes to bed early, gets up early, and the other goes to bed

late and gets up late. She tries so hard to be independent yet when she has

a problem, she calls me 1200 miles away, like I can come over and help her

out, even if I had the energy! They lived with us until we moved up here 2

1/2 months ago. If she had not met her current boyfriend (the boys father

is in prison and she was never married) who is supporting her and the boys

so she can stay home and take care of them, she would have moved with us.

I am afraid that she might end up sick like I am and possibly even the boys,

not knowing when I got the Lyme is hard, and being mis-diagnosed for over 10

years makes it even harder. And the Babesiosis, have an appt with an LLMD

8/30/01 that I hope this one will start me on meds for it right away, I take

lots of symptomatic meds and supplements but not what I need to fight the

Lyme and Babesiosis.

So you need to lay it out on the table with your husband, he may have

questions you can answer and some you cannot, those you can both try to find

answers to, he has to feel he is a part of your life regardless of this

illness. My husband works, cooks, shops, cleans, does laundry, you name it,

and takes me to doctors, especially new ones as I get lost very easily.

I am not saying he has to do all of that, its been 10 years for us to come

to this, but you have to start somewhere or you will lose him for sure, he

may think that you don't need him when the exact opposite is true. You will

be in my prayers and I hope it goes well with you and your husband.

Hugs from a Light-HouseKeeper finally in Pennsylvania

(Anyone can clean the house, only you can catch up on your rest,)

Michele E. Townsend, FMS/90,ME/CFS/94,LD/??(Dx01),SSDI/95

mailto:michtown@... and homepages:

http://msnhomepages.talkcity.com/SupportSt/michtown/default.htm

With a dream to become an Inn-House-Keeper! Join at:

TownsendVillage or by sending

a blank email to TownsendVillage-subscribe

----- Original Message -----

From: <Rmars>Sent: Wednesday, August 01, 2001 5:22 PM

> What a fabulous idea, I will pray for this, do you know how many people

> would benefit from this, I wish I had finances and my husband knew how

> really sick I am,

> or he would not expect so much. During my disease years, I have been not

> stable person, not made the right decisions, because I felt no support

> emotionally, I basically turned away from.