X-post - Venting and need help with book suggestions

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, I I also posted this on the Recovery group, but I want as many

opinions as possible. The reason I am writing, is because I have a little

sister who just had her first baby boy by emergency c-section at 34 weeks

gestation two weeks ago. She had NO amniotic fluid and was having severe

swelling and high blood pressure linked to pre-eclempsia. The doctor said that

something went wrong with the placenta, after the delivery, but I am not sure

what.

So here is my concern....we have the genetics that equate to autism, she has a

mouth full of silver, she definitely reacts to foods, many of them but she does

nothing about it, she has diarrhea, constipation, bloating, yeast infections,

mood swings like CRAAAAZY, major PMS symptoms that put her in bed for days each

month, she now craves sugar when she never even liked it before, she doesn't eat

enough protein, she went against my advice and got the H1N1 vaccine WHILE SHE

WAS PREGNANT!! I convinced her not to vaccinate the baby, BUT now I am hearing

that while in the hospital, the father of the baby was pushing REALLY hard and

even fought with my other sister about it pretty badly, so now I don't know if

they vaccinated this itty bitty teeny weeny under 4 pound baby before he went

home!! I'm sure she wouldn't tell me if they did, because she knows how

strongly I feel about it, especially for such a tiny infant who won't even be in

daycare. He was doing great though, never needed help breathing, latches on

well and other than the usual can't-keep-the-newborn-awake-to-finish-nursing

syndrome, he is doing fabulously. The hospital even gave him probiotics since

his first day of birth, kudos to the hospital!! So now here is my concern, they

are supplementing him (they meaning the hospital is suggesting it and my sister

is following the rules) with preemie formula for added weight gain. I don't

know what is in that stuff, but from my experience with other formulas, I'm

assuming it includes all types of corn syrups, cow's milk proteins, soy

proteins, flavorings, etc...am I right? This once very calm and mellow baby is

now about 2 weeks old and is becoming fussy (not crying, as she puts it) and she

thinks he needs to poop. I feel like that might be a sign of something

digestive going on. She is giving him probiotics that I recommended, (dairy

free, GI proHealth) but I fear that the formula or even something in her diet

could be the problem. How on earth do you teach a very defiant little sister

how to prevent these issues that run rampant in our family? We have depression,

allergies, OCD, ADD, alcoholism and then my kids who have major GI issues, my

oldest just possibly missing the diagnosis of aspergers (as long as we keep on

the path we are on), but has SPD....the list goes on. I would get her a book to

reference, but they all cram autism down your throat and that isn't the way to

teach prevention, although I understand that is the possible ultimate demise of

a child who isn't well, but I just don't think her or the father of the baby

would take that seriously. Everyone believes it is genetic and that there is

nothing you can do about that. In fact, my other sister has already told them

both that he thinks I stretch the facts in my situation with my boys when in

fact, the truth is that I don't really even share it all with them, how bad it

can be. I already bought her a book on vaccines, I share every link I can find

on the details of what causes these issues and even the fact that boys are more

effected. I don't want to cause her first experience to be riddled with stress

and confusion either, but I also know that it's those feelings that drive us

warrior moms to do what we do...so I want to tread lightly, but I really am VERY

worried about this baby's ability to be healthy, if they don't take these things

seriously. They have an opportunity right now, in front of them, to keep this

baby as healthy as possible, but the father of the baby is a true roadblock! He

has two other kids who aren't entirely " right " either and he feeds them crap

like lolly pops before bed or upon waking, ice cream every night in front of the

tv, I think you probably get my point. Are there any books or sites that come

to mind when you think of what you wish you knew " before " it all started for

you? Is it even possible to get someone on board for prevention when they truly

just don't know how bad it can get? I live states away from them and this

particular sister has never seen the worst of my kid's situation, but my other

sister has. She has tried talking to her too, from her own experiences here

with us. That is when her fight ensued with the father of the baby about how I

am making these things up. I don't know what else to do, I just care too much I

think!