Re: My 15 year old daughter called CPS!!!!

October 14, 2010

I am so sorry you are going through this Zurama, I can't imagine. I will pray

for your family and that they will treat you fairly.

Liz

>

> I know this is off topic, but I need advice and quick. About a week ago I had

a huge argument with Mickie's 15 year old sister. She went ballistic, when I

told her she would not have the charger to her laptop at night. She stays up all

night and I want that to stop. I suspect she is using the webcam for

inappropriate things. It has to be that, because her reaction was so violent, I

can't think of anything else.

>

> Things got heated and she threw chairs, and ever finished braking her door.

She was very aggressive and seemed to be provoking everyone in the house. She

was trying to get hit so that she could get somebody in trouble. She kept saying

she wanted me to sign papers so she could leave.

>

> When she was 13 she met a guy on the internet and she has been dating him long

distance. He is now over eighteen and she stays connected to him 24 hour a day.

He lives in Texas. I have tried disconnecting her and she goes to friends to

borrow cell phones, etc. She quit school and is going to online school, so I

don't know what else I can do.

>

> The night of the argument, ((he)) called the police (if you can believe that)

The police came and saw right through her and left, but she had two of her

looser friends call CPS (Children Protective Services). Yesterday when I talked

to the worker, she told me how they had received two reports, like that was

supposed to impress me. Crap, don't they enough drug addicts to check on?

>

> The CPS worker is coming today at 3:30 pm.......

>

> I am so upset! Ever since my oldest son was born 24 years ago, I have gone out

of my way to make sure my family stays together and always worried about Mickie

ending up somewhere, where his diet and needs won't be addressed and it would

seem that she is going out of way to destroy this family. She wants out so she

can go live in Texas with this guy.

>

> In contrast my 14 year old daughter gets complements from her friends parents

on how many nice things she has to say about her mom.

>

> I'm sorry to ramble on-I'm just so frustrated right now!!!

>

October 14, 2010

iT IS EASIER TO GIVE ADVISE THAN TO DO YOURSELF--MY FATHER IN LAW SAID SAME

HAPPENED TO HIM AND HE HAD 9 CHILDREN AND WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO TAKE ONE CHILD

HE TOLD THEM NO--BECAUSE WHAT HE WAS DOING TO THAT ONE HE WAS DOING TO ALL NINE

AND TO TAKE THEM ALL---THEY NEVER RETURNED--sorry about caps--not yelling---we

as parents care so much a child knows how to turn it on us---sorry for what you

are going through---------

From: Liz <elizabethsoliday@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: My 15 year old daughter called CPS!!!!

Date: Thursday, October 14, 2010, 9:02 PM

Â

I am so sorry you are going through this Zurama, I can't imagine. I will pray

for your family and that they will treat you fairly.

Liz

>

> I know this is off topic, but I need advice and quick. About a week ago I had

a huge argument with Mickie's 15 year old sister. She went ballistic, when I

told her she would not have the charger to her laptop at night. She stays up all

night and I want that to stop. I suspect she is using the webcam for

inappropriate things. It has to be that, because her reaction was so violent, I

can't think of anything else.

>

> Things got heated and she threw chairs, and ever finished braking her door.

She was very aggressive and seemed to be provoking everyone in the house. She

was trying to get hit so that she could get somebody in trouble. She kept saying

she wanted me to sign papers so she could leave.

>

> When she was 13 she met a guy on the internet and she has been dating him long

distance. He is now over eighteen and she stays connected to him 24 hour a day.

He lives in Texas. I have tried disconnecting her and she goes to friends to

borrow cell phones, etc. She quit school and is going to online school, so I

don't know what else I can do.

>

> The night of the argument, ((he)) called the police (if you can believe that)

The police came and saw right through her and left, but she had two of her

looser friends call CPS (Children Protective Services). Yesterday when I talked

to the worker, she told me how they had received two reports, like that was

supposed to impress me. Crap, don't they enough drug addicts to check on?

>

> The CPS worker is coming today at 3:30 pm.......

>

> I am so upset! Ever since my oldest son was born 24 years ago, I have gone out

of my way to make sure my family stays together and always worried about Mickie

ending up somewhere, where his diet and needs won't be addressed and it would

seem that she is going out of way to destroy this family. She wants out so she

can go live in Texas with this guy.

>

> In contrast my 14 year old daughter gets complements from her friends parents

on how many nice things she has to say about her mom.

>

> I'm sorry to ramble on-I'm just so frustrated right now!!!

>

October 15, 2010

That is crazy to go through.

Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some kind,

softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you will

have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

custody of the other children.

Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what happened

in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records and

explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of records and

documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

/Rosegvr

October 15, 2010

Tough love? she needs to leave the house for the sake of the other children

and you, then perhaps she might understand what she had?

In a message dated 15/10/2010 17:45:26 GMT Daylight Time,

autismtookmickie@... writes:

This is insane!!

She has already quit school and is doing online school. The problem is that

she doesn't want social outlet, she doesn't like sports, she won't go to

church activities. Anything that I try to get her to do other then play

games, she refuses to do and she has this horrible fits of rage, which are

horribly traumatic for Mickie, who is still crying hours after it's over,

as

if he could still hear the echo in his head.

I remember years ago, when she was four and Mickie was newly diagnosed,

she

would do the same thing and Regional Center would sent a psychologist to

the

house to sit with her and her other two sisters, to try and make her

understand how traumatic this was for her little brother-didn't work and 11

years later she still does this.

I'm definitely documenting everything now and recording videos (got one

already of a door slam). After the CPS worker left I called the police and

asked them, what I could do, since I feel like I'm being held hostage by

her

threats to call CPS and they assured me that in no way, does CPS just come

into your house and take your kids, that (but I wonder, I do remember

stories where it was done like that), but they did say that when she has a

fit of rage and brakes property a deputy can come and talk to her.

This was all planed by her, the boyfriend and two of her friends. The

worker

told me that they received two separate reports. If no one comes to my

house

other then my parents, the IHSS social worker, who just continued my

maximum

hours and the IRC worker who else could it be.......it has to be him and

she

already admitted that her two friends got their aunt who never met me, to

call.

This is a nightmare.....I woke up today feeling like I got ran over by a

truck.

Zurama

On Fri, Oct 15, 2010 at 8:40 AM, <RoseGvr@...> wrote:

>

> That is crazy to go through.

>

> Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

kind,

>

> softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

>

> She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> will

> have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> custody of the other children.

>

> Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

happened

> in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

and

> explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

records

> and

> documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

>

> /Rosegvr

>

October 15, 2010

I had a friend who went thru this with her teen son. Unfortunately, once they're

teenagers, it's almost too late to reverse. I would, tho, suggest that you get

her into therapy with someone who understands sex addiction and love addiction.

Don't know if there are treatment centers for teen sex and love addiction, but

I'd look into those. I did hear of one in AZ that specializes in young women and

their compulsions (food, love especially). There is an underlying

trauma/pain/loneliness usually that drives this kind of thing, and it can't be

solved by the family. Often it's covered by med insurance--if it's a rehab

situation, insurance tends to cover it. Just my suggestions--take what you like

and leave the rest.

good luck,

Fiona

>

> I know this is off topic, but I need advice and quick. About a week ago I had

a huge argument with Mickie's 15 year old sister. She went ballistic, when I

told her she would not have the charger to her laptop at night. She stays up all

night and I want that to stop. I suspect she is using the webcam for

inappropriate things. It has to be that, because her reaction was so violent, I

can't think of anything else.

>

> Things got heated and she threw chairs, and ever finished braking her door.

She was very aggressive and seemed to be provoking everyone in the house. She

was trying to get hit so that she could get somebody in trouble. She kept saying

she wanted me to sign papers so she could leave.

>

> When she was 13 she met a guy on the internet and she has been dating him long

distance. He is now over eighteen and she stays connected to him 24 hour a day.

He lives in Texas. I have tried disconnecting her and she goes to friends to

borrow cell phones, etc. She quit school and is going to online school, so I

don't know what else I can do.

>

> The night of the argument, ((he)) called the police (if you can believe that)

The police came and saw right through her and left, but she had two of her

looser friends call CPS (Children Protective Services). Yesterday when I talked

to the worker, she told me how they had received two reports, like that was

supposed to impress me. Crap, don't they enough drug addicts to check on?

>

> The CPS worker is coming today at 3:30 pm.......

>

> I am so upset! Ever since my oldest son was born 24 years ago, I have gone out

of my way to make sure my family stays together and always worried about Mickie

ending up somewhere, where his diet and needs won't be addressed and it would

seem that she is going out of way to destroy this family. She wants out so she

can go live in Texas with this guy.

>

> In contrast my 14 year old daughter gets complements from her friends parents

on how many nice things she has to say about her mom.

>

> I'm sorry to ramble on-I'm just so frustrated right now!!!

>

October 15, 2010

Well, as long as she is under your roof you have access to her

computer/emails/phone/texts. I would find out who exactly this adult guy is and

perhaps contact the authorities in his city to see if any laws are being broken.

She will absolutely hate you in the short term, but your job is to protect her

and prepare her for her adult life. I think this guy is bad, bad news. I worry

she will take off to be with him (but then he will be breaking laws).

Pam

>

> That is crazy to go through.

>

> Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some kind,

> softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

>

> She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you will

> have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> custody of the other children.

>

> Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what happened

> in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records and

> explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of records

and

> documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

>

> /Rosegvr

>

October 15, 2010

This is insane!!

She has already quit school and is doing online school. The problem is that

she doesn't want social outlet, she doesn't like sports, she won't go to

church activities. Anything that I try to get her to do other then play

games, she refuses to do and she has this horrible fits of rage, which are

horribly traumatic for Mickie, who is still crying hours after it's over, as

if he could still hear the echo in his head.

I remember years ago, when she was four and Mickie was newly diagnosed, she

would do the same thing and Regional Center would sent a psychologist to the

house to sit with her and her other two sisters, to try and make her

understand how traumatic this was for her little brother-didn't work and 11

years later she still does this.

I'm definitely documenting everything now and recording videos (got one

already of a door slam). After the CPS worker left I called the police and

asked them, what I could do, since I feel like I'm being held hostage by her

threats to call CPS and they assured me that in no way, does CPS just come

into your house and take your kids, that (but I wonder, I do remember

stories where it was done like that), but they did say that when she has a

fit of rage and brakes property a deputy can come and talk to her.

This was all planed by her, the boyfriend and two of her friends. The worker

told me that they received two separate reports. If no one comes to my house

other then my parents, the IHSS social worker, who just continued my maximum

hours and the IRC worker who else could it be.......it has to be him and she

already admitted that her two friends got their aunt who never met me, to

call.

This is a nightmare.....I woke up today feeling like I got ran over by a

truck.

Zurama

On Fri, Oct 15, 2010 at 8:40 AM, <RoseGvr@...> wrote:

>

> That is crazy to go through.

>

> Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some kind,

>

> softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

>

> She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> will

> have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> custody of the other children.

>

> Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what happened

> in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records and

> explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of records

> and

> documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

>

> /Rosegvr

>

October 15, 2010

It sounds like your daughter needed biomed way back when she was 4.

>

> >

> > That is crazy to go through.

> >

> > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some kind,

> >

> > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> >

> > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > will

> > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > custody of the other children.

> >

> > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what happened

> > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records and

> > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of records

> > and

> > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> >

> > /Rosegvr

> >

October 15, 2010

Last night when I called the police, to ask what I could do about this guy

who is interfering in my family life, they said that there is nothing they

can do. There is no physical contact.......but that it's my house and if I

want to turn off the internet I can, since it's a parenting issue.

She definitely hates me right now and she knows how I feel about

Mickie safety and she has threaten me in the pass to call CPS so they could

take Mickie away.

I could now say that I have finally learned why there are people who stop

talking to some members of their family!!!

As far as I know he still lives with his parents, who are paying for his

college and he won't run off with her, because he knows he will get

arrested. This seems to be a plan to get me to sign away my parental rights,

which I won't do and she can't emancipate, because she needs a job and she

can't get a job, because her grades are really bad.

I hate to say this, but my mother was right when she told me years ago, that

I lived with the enemy.

Zurama

On Fri, Oct 15, 2010 at 9:14 AM, Pamela H <phaselow@...> wrote:

>

> Well, as long as she is under your roof you have access to her

> computer/emails/phone/texts. I would find out who exactly this adult guy is

> and perhaps contact the authorities in his city to see if any laws are being

> broken.

>

> She will absolutely hate you in the short term, but your job is to protect

> her and prepare her for her adult life. I think this guy is bad, bad news. I

> worry she will take off to be with him (but then he will be breaking laws).

>

> Pam

>

> >

> > That is crazy to go through.

> >

> > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> kind,

> > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

>

> > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> >

> > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

>

> > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> will

> > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > custody of the other children.

> >

> > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> happened

> > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> and

> > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> records and

> > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> >

> > /Rosegvr

> >

October 15, 2010

Oh yes, and if only I knew then what I know now! :\

Zurama

On Fri, Oct 15, 2010 at 9:55 AM, Pamela H <phaselow@...> wrote:

>

> It sounds like your daughter needed biomed way back when she was 4.

>

> >

> > >

> > > That is crazy to go through.

> > >

> > > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> kind,

> > >

> > > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so

> she

> > > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> > >

> > > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15

> is

> > > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > > will

> > > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > > custody of the other children.

> > >

> > > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> happened

> > > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> and

> > > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> records

> > > and

> > > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should

> go.

> > >

> > > /Rosegvr

> > >

October 15, 2010

The problem with leaving the house is that she has no place to go. Her

father lost custody and he lives with his mother, so she can't go there and

my mother is afraid of her after what she pulled with CPS.

On Fri, Oct 15, 2010 at 9:50 AM, <Mum231ASD@...> wrote:

>

> Tough love? she needs to leave the house for the sake of the other children

>

> and you, then perhaps she might understand what she had?

>

> In a message dated 15/10/2010 17:45:26 GMT Daylight Time,

> autismtookmickie@... <autismtookmickie%40gmail.com> writes:

>

> This is insane!!

>

> She has already quit school and is doing online school. The problem is that

> she doesn't want social outlet, she doesn't like sports, she won't go to

> church activities. Anything that I try to get her to do other then play

> games, she refuses to do and she has this horrible fits of rage, which are

> horribly traumatic for Mickie, who is still crying hours after it's over,

> as

> if he could still hear the echo in his head.

>

> I remember years ago, when she was four and Mickie was newly diagnosed,

> she

> would do the same thing and Regional Center would sent a psychologist to

> the

> house to sit with her and her other two sisters, to try and make her

> understand how traumatic this was for her little brother-didn't work and 11

> years later she still does this.

>

> I'm definitely documenting everything now and recording videos (got one

> already of a door slam). After the CPS worker left I called the police and

> asked them, what I could do, since I feel like I'm being held hostage by

> her

> threats to call CPS and they assured me that in no way, does CPS just come

> into your house and take your kids, that (but I wonder, I do remember

> stories where it was done like that), but they did say that when she has a

> fit of rage and brakes property a deputy can come and talk to her.

>

> This was all planed by her, the boyfriend and two of her friends. The

> worker

> told me that they received two separate reports. If no one comes to my

> house

> other then my parents, the IHSS social worker, who just continued my

> maximum

> hours and the IRC worker who else could it be.......it has to be him and

> she

> already admitted that her two friends got their aunt who never met me, to

> call.

>

> This is a nightmare.....I woke up today feeling like I got ran over by a

> truck.

>

> Zurama

>

> On Fri, Oct 15, 2010 at 8:40 AM, <RoseGvr@... <RoseGvr%40aol.com>>

> wrote:

>

> >

> > That is crazy to go through.

> >

> > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> kind,

> >

> > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> >

> > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > will

> > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > custody of the other children.

> >

> > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> happened

> > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> and

> > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> records

> > and

> > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> >

> > /Rosegvr

> >

October 15, 2010

Zurama,

first let me say I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It seems your

daughter feels that her family is less important than this guy in Texas. Pretty

typical in what I call an abusive or controlling relationship. They try to

alienate the girl from her family. I hear about this all to often. I think Dr.

Phil had a show about this type of situation a while back. Younger girls being

controlled by someone older over the internet. (maybe search his website)

I know she has no realization at all what kind of dysfunctional relationship

this is, but it is dysfunctional. She is reacting like an abuse victim or an

addict. She won't see this at her age.

Since she is under 18, not working and living in your house....I would cut off

the internet. And I would cut off her phone access. As well as not let her leave

the house to use anyone else's either. this is not seen as abuse by any agency,

but discipline and/or grounding of a teen.

Then seek professional help for her. Which might even mean institutionalizing

her temporarily. Obviously her having access to a phone and internet is a

detriment to her at this point. She does not have the maturity skills to use it

appropriately and has somehow been undertaken by this guy.

Wireless routers can be locked with passwords. Mine is. I have control over who

uses the internet in my house. I'd probably take away the laptop and access

entirely at this point. Since you have no idea what she has been doing on there

at night.

I'd also consider putting her back in school around age appropriate peers. She

might not want a social outlet but the ones she's choosing now are not safe or

good for her. I don't know about your state, but kids have to be in school until

they are 16 here. If that is the law there, then you have the parental right to

put her back. Whether she likes it or not.

I would also make it clear that if she tries the CPS thing again, you will turn

her over to mental health facility as a compulsive liar or based upon her

violent outburst as being mentally unstable. See she thinks she has the upper

hand and can make you do what she wants.

But her antisocial behaviors imply that she needs psychological care. I have a

15 year old. She is involved in sports, school activities, has friends, spends

time with her family and has interest. And in no one way would she dare attempt

this type of thing because I took away a privilege. She would have normal

reactions of being upset and them accept it and move on. However, she has had 87

rounds of chelation. Is on adrenal support and has her thyroid treated.

The signs of social seclusion, angry outburst etc imply depression. It sounds

like she is toxic and may have an adrenal problem, as well as depression. The

problem is what to do to protect your other children in the interim? If she

wants you to help her, that's one thing. If she does not, then perhaps she may

need to be send somewhere else and possible medication and counseling started to

get her back to functioning more normally.

First step is cutting of her access to this guy and those friends who helped her

try to hang you out to dry. Second start calling around to find some local

programs/facilities that deal with out of control teens.

Sending my best wishes to you.

Jan

> >

> > >

> > > That is crazy to go through.

> > >

> > > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> > kind,

> > >

> > > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> > > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> > >

> > > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> > > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > > will

> > > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > > custody of the other children.

> > >

> > > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> > happened

> > > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> > and

> > > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> > records

> > > and

> > > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> > >

> > > /Rosegvr

> > >

October 15, 2010

Your daughter is not the enemy. Is that what you mean? She didn't become this

way without help. She also isn't too old for some biomed if you can get her to

take supplements (my guess is that would be a no).

Still, she is way out of line and somehow you need to take control. Cross your

Ts and dot your Is so she has nothing to show anyone aside from her poor teen

behavior when she calls CPS/police.

I feel sad for her and for you. Outside help is about your only hope. Not too

sure how to make a child do that unless they are placed somewhere or court

ordered (even then, she doesn't have to do anything).

Drugs? I mean illegal drugs. Does she use them?

I am really sorry.

If you contact the 18 yr old and tell him to stop contacting your daughter...

how does that work, legally? I cannot remember if you still have legal control

at this age where any further contact by him then would be or could be

considered harassment or if she is of age to consent to this kind of stuff.

Could you get a restraining order?

That is when the danger of your daughter taking off would be the highest,

though. She would be mad mad mad mad mad.

See if you can contact a lawyer for free who specializes in child abuse to see

what the laws are in your state.

Pam

> > >

> > > That is crazy to go through.

> > >

> > > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> > kind,

> > > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> >

> > > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> > >

> > > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> >

> > > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > will

> > > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > > custody of the other children.

> > >

> > > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> > happened

> > > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> > and

> > > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> > records and

> > > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> > >

> > > /Rosegvr

> > >

October 15, 2010

I have a 17 yr. old son who has also made accusations and gotten aggressive to

try to manipulate a situation. What I have learned is that I can't control him.

He makes his own decisions. What I can do is take away things, and yes that has

meant that I have given up somethings just so he has no access. I have called

the police on him when he crosses a line. I will not be victimized in my home.

He was taken to the hospital for a psych evaluation and placed in a behavioral

hospital. I will tell you that once you make that call you lose some control

over what will happen to that child. My son was placed in a behavioral hospital

and put on meds. Through this he is learning that what he was fighting for (

contact with a girlfriend ) he lost completely because of his actions. You

have to make the decisions for your own home. Only you know the details of your

situation. I would encourage you to search your heart for how much you are

willing to take from your daughter. As a mom who has been there I know how tough

this is and I know it seems like there is not a good ending. Stay strong and

know that you are not alone.

>

> The problem with leaving the house is that she has no place to go. Her

> father lost custody and he lives with his mother, so she can't go there and

> my mother is afraid of her after what she pulled with CPS.

>

October 16, 2010

I have been there. It's a wonder my marriage and my sanity survived my

daughter's teen years, who also damn-near destroyed our home. Your daughter is

still pretty young, You can probably file " wayward " charges against your her,

which would most likely consist of a court hearing where the judge would give

her certain instructions that she'd have to follow and answer back to the court.

It's worth a shot. I tried when my daughter was 17, but by then, our state

considered her " too old " for wayward charges, yet I was still legally

responsible for her(go figure). It got to the point where I had to make a very

hard decision - it was her or the well-being of my two young sons who did not

deserve to live with her insanity.(one of whom is on the spectrum). I kicked

her out and she went off to live with the sh**bag boyfriend she was hell-bent

for. Needless to say, when the going got tough, he bailed. (big surprise). By

then, she had blown so many jobs that nobody would hire her and burned so many

bridges, nobody could live with her - having left herself with so few options,

she eventually joined the army. She will be the first to admit that it saved her

life. She is married now with a baby of her own and is doing wonderfully. The

hardest thing in the world for me was deciding that just because I was her

mother, it did not mean I had to subject myself or my other children to her

abuse. If you can file wayward and she does get a court date, perhaps you can

write a letter to the judge ahead of time giving details of the situation and

perhaps requesting a bootcamp of some type. It's an amazing thing for these kids

to see what they can accomplish. I am praying for you and your family. I know

what years of sleepless nights are like.

>

> >

> > That is crazy to go through.

> >

> > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> kind,

> >

> > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> >

> > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > will

> > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > custody of the other children.

> >

> > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> happened

> > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> and

> > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> records

> > and

> > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> >

> > /Rosegvr

> >

October 16, 2010

Your daughter's success in the end is all you worked for! I'm happy for you. I

have a 12 yr old daughter who is far from what your stories portray, but she is

tough. My prediction is we will have to challenge her hard at some point.

How is your relationship? Can I ask?

Pam

> >

> > >

> > > That is crazy to go through.

> > >

> > > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> > kind,

> > >

> > > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so she

> > > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> > >

> > > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15 is

> > > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > > will

> > > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > > custody of the other children.

> > >

> > > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> > happened

> > > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> > and

> > > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> > records

> > > and

> > > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should go.

> > >

> > > /Rosegvr

> > >

October 16, 2010

Our relationship is great - the best it's ever been. Her and her baby are

actually home with us now until her husband returns from Afghanistan (she is

reserves, he is active duty). I'll tell you, it was the hardest thing in the

world sending her out of my house and there were months and months of sleepless

nights and worrying myself sick, but in the end, she gets it. I will not be

pushed around --she has figured out that I will protect the boundaries of my

house and not cave in just because she is my child. I would like to take all

the credit, but it was bootcamp and a very long AIT that did it for her- she's a

combat medic and I think those experiences put alot of things in perspective for

her. I know it was hard as a teen because her pdd brother required attention

(and an infant born after him) -- also, her boyfriend at the time, had a

severely autistic/blind brother and a mother who struggled emotionally just to

get through each day, so from a very young age, he was pretty much left to fend

for himself. Not that I'm making excuses for his poor behavior. But I used to

work w/ developmentally disabled adults and there's certain behaviors you tend

to see with siblings (particularly older siblings)...so it's not uncommon.

Still they need to learn responsible behavior regardless of " how bad " they think

their life is and own up and take responsibility. It really is a matter of you

setting fair boundaries and demanding her to respect them. If she can't, then

maybe she just needs to find a place to stay where someone will put up with her

crap -which is nowhere. In the mean time, you have other children to take care

of and protect. I know if it had not been for her younger brothers, I probably

would have put up with alot more than I ever should have. I will pray for you :

)

> > >

> > > >

> > > > That is crazy to go through.

> > > >

> > > > Can you get her in regular school or some activities (lessons of some

> > > kind,

> > > >

> > > > softball league, something?) She probably has little social outlet so

she

> > > > is fixating on the one outlet she does have (computer access).

> > > >

> > > > She sounds like she is addicted to this guy but controlling someone 15

is

> > > > very difficult. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I would

> > > > probably have to explain that if she doesn't stop this immediately, you

> > > > will

> > > > have to consider a juvenile facility for her as she is jeopardizing the

> > > > custody of the other children.

> > > >

> > > > Take pictures of what she is doing and log off incidents and what

> > > happened

> > > > in case you have to appear before a judge. Keep her cell phone records

> > > and

> > > > explain she is involved in a relationship with a legal adult who is 18

> > > > when she is 15 which you are trying to put an end to. Keep lots of

> > > records

> > > > and

> > > > documentation. And, if you believe in it, pray and meditate. See what

> > > > advice you can get from the universe about which direction you should

go.

> > > >

> > > > /Rosegvr

> > > >

October 16, 2010

Hi Zurama,

Sorry you're going through this. Curious if you ever had a hair test done on

her?

http://law.onecle.com/texas/penal/21.11.00.html provides the section of the TX

penal code which deals with Indecency with a Child

Here's a website with info about emancipation laws for each state, DC & PR.

Consider looking up the details for wherever you live , if you haven't already,

just so you know, and depending on what those details are, you may or may not

want to share the info with your daughter and explain what her responsibilities

would be.

S S

Re: My 15 year old daughter called CPS!!!!

Posted by: " Zurama " autismtookmickie@... artdezurama

Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:45 am (PDT)

October 16, 2010

That would be a good start. How's her diet? How many mercury amalgam dental

fillings does she have?

S S

Re: My 15 year old daughter called CPS!!!!

Posted by: " Zurama " autismtookmickie@... artdezurama

Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:59 pm (PDT)

I could probably get her to take supplements.......

October 16, 2010

Enzymes would be an excellent place to start IMO. Teen diets seem to be loaded

with gluten and casein (pizza, milkshakes, burgers, etc).

S S

Re: My 15 year old daughter called CPS!!!!

Posted by: " TJ Werth " tj_werth@... tj_werth

Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:06 pm (PDT)

GFCF diet would be the best, but digestive enzymes might help. For starters.

>From my experience, it seems if someone benefits from a GFCF diet - they are

mercury toxic.

The mercury inhibits the body's ability to function properly, this includes

processing foods.

TJ

October 16, 2010

I wonder if a residential school placement would be a possibility? One of the

teens I worked with had aggressive outbursts, called CPS on her parents, had

gotten kicked out of public school, and was controlling the whole family. When

they were finally able to get her into a residential school (paid for by the

local district because they were not able to provide for her needs), she and her

family are doing much better. From what I understand she comes home some

weekends.

S S

October 17, 2010

>

> I know this is off topic, but I need advice and quick. About a week ago I had

a huge argument with Mickie's 15 year old sister. She went ballistic, when I

told her she would not have the charger to her laptop at night. She stays up all

night and I want that to stop. I suspect she is using the webcam for

inappropriate things. It has to be that, because her reaction was so violent, I

can't think of anything else.

>

> Things got heated and she threw chairs, and ever finished braking her door.

She was very aggressive and seemed to be provoking everyone in the house. She

was trying to get hit so that she could get somebody in trouble. She kept saying

she wanted me to sign papers so she could leave.

>

> When she was 13 she met a guy on the internet and she has been dating him long

distance. He is now over eighteen and she stays connected to him 24 hour a day.

He lives in Texas. I have tried disconnecting her and she goes to friends to

borrow cell phones, etc. She quit school and is going to online school, so I

don't know what else I can do.

>

> The night of the argument, ((he)) called the police (if you can believe that)

The police came and saw right through her and left, but she had two of her

looser friends call CPS (Children Protective Services). Yesterday when I talked

to the worker, she told me how they had received two reports, like that was

supposed to impress me. Crap, don't they enough drug addicts to check on?

>

> The CPS worker is coming today at 3:30 pm.......

Good!

Have the CPS worker look up the kid in Texas and ask what is going on!

:-)

Get law enforcement involved. Talk to the kid. Everything is on your side

here. Have the cops tell you his name and address and ask him if he needs a

restraining order to stop contacting your daughter - that might encourage him to

talk frankly to you about what is going on so you don't actually go get one.

BTW, cut off internet service. Let her chew on that for a while.

> I am so upset! Ever since my oldest son was born 24 years ago, I have gone out

of my way to make sure my family stays together and always worried about Mickie

ending up somewhere, where his diet and needs won't be addressed and it would

seem that she is going out of way to destroy this family. She wants out so she

can go live in Texas with this guy.

>

> In contrast my 14 year old daughter gets complements from her friends parents

on how many nice things she has to say about her mom.

>

> I'm sorry to ramble on-I'm just so frustrated right now!!!

Please forgive me for using your horrible experience to point out something I

see routinely - people need to get on with chelating their kids (or doing

whatever else works for them) ASAP. The older they get, the more rebellious

they get. If they need a complex regimen, such as a special diet, to keep it

together that is going to stop at some point in adolescence or early adulthood.

You need to spend as much time as you can early on getting them healthy so they

can go through the instinctive rebellious phase of development without it

wreaking any more havoc than is normal.

>

Andy

http://www.noamalgam.com/index.html

Amalgam Illness: Diagnosis and Treatment

http://www.noamalgam.com/hairtestbook.html

Hair Test Interpretation: Finding Hidden Toxicities

http://www.noamalgam.com/nourishinghope.html

Nourishing Hope for Autism: Nutrition Intervention for Healing Our Children

http://www.noamalgam.com/biologicaltreatments.html

Biological Treatments for Autism and PDD

October 18, 2010

Zurama, so sorry for you to have to endure this stress.

That being said, this is an EXCELLENT thread! Very good 'heads up' for us with

younger children.

Andy, I couldn't agree with you more! Zurama, use the resources at hand and

don't be skimpy. Enlist the law enforcement assets in your area to track this

TX interference in your family and daughter's life.

I called the Texas Attorney General to see what could be done about this guy who

your daughter's been in contact with and who seems to be an external catalyst to

your family's distress now.

I was advised that you should contact the District Attorney of your County to

start the process into investigating this guy in TX and to find a way to get him

to stop or be stopped from contacting your daughter.

Hope you don't mind that I called for you but I have questions of my own since I

don't feel that I may be exempt from finding myself in this situation for

whatever reason in the future.

Best of luck!!

Theodora

> >

> > I know this is off topic, but I need advice and quick. About a week ago I

had a huge argument with Mickie's 15 year old sister. She went ballistic, when I

told her she would not have the charger to her laptop at night. She stays up all

night and I want that to stop. I suspect she is using the webcam for

inappropriate things. It has to be that, because her reaction was so violent, I

can't think of anything else.

> >

> > Things got heated and she threw chairs, and ever finished braking her door.

She was very aggressive and seemed to be provoking everyone in the house. She

was trying to get hit so that she could get somebody in trouble. She kept saying

she wanted me to sign papers so she could leave.

> >

> > When she was 13 she met a guy on the internet and she has been dating him

long distance. He is now over eighteen and she stays connected to him 24 hour a

day. He lives in Texas. I have tried disconnecting her and she goes to friends

to borrow cell phones, etc. She quit school and is going to online school, so I

don't know what else I can do.

> >

> > The night of the argument, ((he)) called the police (if you can believe

that) The police came and saw right through her and left, but she had two of her

looser friends call CPS (Children Protective Services). Yesterday when I talked

to the worker, she told me how they had received two reports, like that was

supposed to impress me. Crap, don't they enough drug addicts to check on?

> >

> > The CPS worker is coming today at 3:30 pm.......

>

> Good!

>

> Have the CPS worker look up the kid in Texas and ask what is going on!

>

> :-)

>

> Get law enforcement involved. Talk to the kid. Everything is on your side

here. Have the cops tell you his name and address and ask him if he needs a

restraining order to stop contacting your daughter - that might encourage him to

talk frankly to you about what is going on so you don't actually go get one.

>

> BTW, cut off internet service. Let her chew on that for a while.

>

> > I am so upset! Ever since my oldest son was born 24 years ago, I have gone

out of my way to make sure my family stays together and always worried about

Mickie ending up somewhere, where his diet and needs won't be addressed and it

would seem that she is going out of way to destroy this family. She wants out

so she can go live in Texas with this guy.

> >

> > In contrast my 14 year old daughter gets complements from her friends

parents on how many nice things she has to say about her mom.

> >

> > I'm sorry to ramble on-I'm just so frustrated right now!!!

>

> Please forgive me for using your horrible experience to point out something I

see routinely - people need to get on with chelating their kids (or doing

whatever else works for them) ASAP. The older they get, the more rebellious

they get. If they need a complex regimen, such as a special diet, to keep it

together that is going to stop at some point in adolescence or early adulthood.

You need to spend as much time as you can early on getting them healthy so they

can go through the instinctive rebellious phase of development without it

wreaking any more havoc than is normal.

>

> >

> Andy

>

> http://www.noamalgam.com/index.html

> Amalgam Illness: Diagnosis and Treatment

>

> http://www.noamalgam.com/hairtestbook.html

> Hair Test Interpretation: Finding Hidden Toxicities

>

> http://www.noamalgam.com/nourishinghope.html

> Nourishing Hope for Autism: Nutrition Intervention for Healing Our Children

>

> http://www.noamalgam.com/biologicaltreatments.html

> Biological Treatments for Autism and PDD

>

October 18, 2010

Good Morning Theodora:

Well my asthma has kicked in early this year and it's probably from all the

stress I'm under, but hopefully I'll get better soon.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't mind in the least that you called

the district attorney!!! Finally something I can do to try to stop this!

I'm thinking I should contact him in writing also with copy to the police

and perhaps cps?

All the information I have about this guy is, his name, phone number and

city, I know what high school he went to and what college he attends-from

facebook, but it's a start.

He (TX looser) is the key, because just shutting down her internet is not

enough. When she didn't have internet or cell phone, she would use her

friends and classmates, neighbors to call him. She lost most of her friends

and potential friends, because she used them, and they figured it out.

My oldest daughter Zina who is 19, thinks that I should be careful about

suicide risk, so last night after I unplugged the internet at 10:00, my 15

year old had a fit and ended up winning, crying and talking to her 19 year

old sister, very loudly may I add, for 30 minutes, then she let the 15 year

old borrow her phone to say good night to the TX looser. All this while

Mickie sat on a corner covering his ears.

Afterwards she (the 19 year old) confided in me that she is worried about

her mental state. I really don't know about why people commit suicide, since

I've endured so much and that thought has never crossed my mind. My thinking

is that if she would want to kill herself now, then later on if she leave

with this guy and the prince an a white horse turns into a frog, then what?

So as you can see I'm walking on eggshells.

Zurama

On Mon, Oct 18, 2010 at 8:59 AM, jeffnteddi <hopefulchild99-asd@...>wrote:

>

> Zurama, so sorry for you to have to endure this stress.

> That being said, this is an EXCELLENT thread! Very good 'heads up' for us

> with younger children.

> Andy, I couldn't agree with you more! Zurama, use the resources at hand and

> don't be skimpy. Enlist the law enforcement assets in your area to track

> this TX interference in your family and daughter's life.

> I called the Texas Attorney General to see what could be done about this

> guy who your daughter's been in contact with and who seems to be an external

> catalyst to your family's distress now.

> I was advised that you should contact the District Attorney of your County

> to start the process into investigating this guy in TX and to find a way to

> get him to stop or be stopped from contacting your daughter.

> Hope you don't mind that I called for you but I have questions of my own

> since I don't feel that I may be exempt from finding myself in this

> situation for whatever reason in the future.

>

> Best of luck!!

>

> Theodora

>

> > >

> > > I know this is off topic, but I need advice and quick. About a week ago

> I had a huge argument with Mickie's 15 year old sister. She went ballistic,

> when I told her she would not have the charger to her laptop at night. She

> stays up all night and I want that to stop. I suspect she is using the

> webcam for inappropriate things. It has to be that, because her reaction was

> so violent, I can't think of anything else.

> > >

> > > Things got heated and she threw chairs, and ever finished braking her

> door. She was very aggressive and seemed to be provoking everyone in the

> house. She was trying to get hit so that she could get somebody in trouble.

> She kept saying she wanted me to sign papers so she could leave.

> > >

> > > When she was 13 she met a guy on the internet and she has been dating

> him long distance. He is now over eighteen and she stays connected to him 24

> hour a day. He lives in Texas. I have tried disconnecting her and she goes

> to friends to borrow cell phones, etc. She quit school and is going to

> online school, so I don't know what else I can do.

> > >

> > > The night of the argument, ((he)) called the police (if you can believe

> that) The police came and saw right through her and left, but she had two of

> her looser friends call CPS (Children Protective Services). Yesterday when I

> talked to the worker, she told me how they had received two reports, like

> that was supposed to impress me. Crap, don't they enough drug addicts to

> check on?

> > >

> > > The CPS worker is coming today at 3:30 pm.......

> >

> > Good!

> >

> > Have the CPS worker look up the kid in Texas and ask what is going on!

> >

> > :-)

> >

> > Get law enforcement involved. Talk to the kid. Everything is on your side

> here. Have the cops tell you his name and address and ask him if he needs a

> restraining order to stop contacting your daughter - that might encourage

> him to talk frankly to you about what is going on so you don't actually go

> get one.

> >

> > BTW, cut off internet service. Let her chew on that for a while.

> >

> > > I am so upset! Ever since my oldest son was born 24 years ago, I have

> gone out of my way to make sure my family stays together and always worried

> about Mickie ending up somewhere, where his diet and needs won't be

> addressed and it would seem that she is going out of way to destroy this

> family. She wants out so she can go live in Texas with this guy.

> > >

> > > In contrast my 14 year old daughter gets complements from her friends

> parents on how many nice things she has to say about her mom.

> > >

> > > I'm sorry to ramble on-I'm just so frustrated right now!!!

> >

> > Please forgive me for using your horrible experience to point out

> something I see routinely - people need to get on with chelating their kids

> (or doing whatever else works for them) ASAP. The older they get, the more

> rebellious they get. If they need a complex regimen, such as a special diet,

> to keep it together that is going to stop at some point in adolescence or

> early adulthood. You need to spend as much time as you can early on getting

> them healthy so they can go through the instinctive rebellious phase of

> development without it wreaking any more havoc than is normal.

> >

> > >

> > Andy

> >

> > http://www.noamalgam.com/index.html

> > Amalgam Illness: Diagnosis and Treatment

> >

> > http://www.noamalgam.com/hairtestbook.html

> > Hair Test Interpretation: Finding Hidden Toxicities

> >

> > http://www.noamalgam.com/nourishinghope.html

> > Nourishing Hope for Autism: Nutrition Intervention for Healing Our

> Children

> >

> > http://www.noamalgam.com/biologicaltreatments.html

> > Biological Treatments for Autism and PDD

> >

>

--

Zurama

Mickie 13yrs

Round #35

15mg DMSA 15mg ALA

October 18, 2010

I'm wondering how much information should I give the district attorney as

far as my other daughter 14 and 13, with severe autism, and the 15

year old calling cps?