Re: Another Lurker Heard From

October 5, 1999

lisa...

u have hit the nail on the head......i go crazy ...and feel guilty ...that i

have this disease.....and it limits me so....and does put more on

others......but i did not ask to be sick.....it was not of my own

doing......so quit trying to lay a guilt trip on me i tell them.....i am so

glad to have lyme aid....as it is a place i am understood and relate to

others.....especially about the marriage relationship thing.....i still say a

lymie girl is the answer for me.....and yes joan takeout is the way to

go....lol....

Reid

October 5, 1999

Re: [Lyme-aid] Another Lurker Heard From

> From: DJinMECH@...

>

> In a message dated 10/4/1999 10:49:23 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

JVSPL@...

> writes:

>

> <<

> Forget that TAKE OUT!!! Deliver!!! LOL

> Jane

> >>

> I am soooo happy that we got that all figured out!! ROFL

> Deb

LOL....who has the money?.....not I

Cyntha Landon Idaho

>

> > Send to -Offtopiconelist messages unrelated to lyme, please.

> /archive/lyme-aid

> /archives.cgi/Lyme-Documents

> To unsubscribe, send email to -unsubscribeonelist

> You may substitute " subscribe " , or " digest " or " normal " for

> the word " unsubscribe " ( " normal " is the opposite of " digest " ). Leave

blank both the message and subject header.

>

October 5, 1999

Hi ,

This may sound like a dumb question, but have you tried Magnesium for

the muscle spasms? My LLMD has me on 400mg. a day...when I can remember

to take it...like acidophilus, you can't take it within 2 hrs. of abx.

I found that when I was on Doxy, I got terrible muscle spasms in my

jaw...haven't had them since I went on Biaxin...

I know the herxes are horrible, and that it shows that the abx is having

some effect on the chetes...but I don't think it is necessarily a good

thing to go through horrendous herxes...the body can only take so much.

I got so sick while on the Biaxin/Doxy combo that I wound up in the

hospital and discontinued the Doxy. BTW, did you get your LUAT results

yet?

Hope you feel better soon! Joan LI NY

From: lc lott <lclott@...>

--- " Joan S. " <Namkrats3@...> wrote:

> From: Namkrats3@... (Joan S.)

>

> Hi ,

> I know how you feel 'cos I'm feeling lousy also. I

> never know if it's a

> Herx or just the Lyme... but I don't think a Herx

> can last for months!

>

> What meds are you on now? My LLMD tried combining

> Doxy w/Biaxin, and I

> got so sick that he discontinued the Doxy. I'm now

> on Biaxin/Plaquinel,

> and I can tolerate that combo much better. He also

> has me on Celebrex

> for the neck and back pain, and thankfully that is

> helping me.

>

> My daughter went through the nausea after eating her

> 1st meal of the

> day, and we never got to the bottom of it. She

> wasn't on abx at the

> time, and it eventually resolved itself. She does

> get nauseous, however,

> if she gets up too early without having had enough

> sleep.

> Hang in there, and we'll lurk together!

> Joan LI NY

> Joan-

Im on Doxy 500 mg/day. I take 200 in the morning 200

in the afternoon and then 100 at night. I was off of

it for a week to do another LUAT and was on 300/day at

that point. When I went back on after the LUAT I went

back on at 500/day. Dont know if it is just too much

or if I am killing things off now and thats why I feel

so crappy.

I tried Celebrex and it worked well for a few weeks

and then quit. Switched to Relafen with the same

result. Ive also been on Ultram which does ok but

makes do weird things like sleepwalk and also makes me

feel really strange. Didnt seem like the benefit was

worth the side effects so Im now taking Motrin. Think

that might be part of my stomach problem so I am

backing off on it too and of course then the pain is

what knocks me down. My entire upper body goes into

spasms from my neck to my waist. Some days it is so

bad I have trouble breathing because the muscles are

so tight.

The reason I think this may be a Herx is because all

of this started 3 days after restarting the Doxy at

500 mg a day.

If I knew there was an end in sight I could handle it

but it just seems to get worse instead of better. I

have debated as Im sure all of us have at some point

in time just stopping everything and letting my body

rest and detox itself. But then of course there is the

fear of further damage. Just want this nightmare to be

over. I want to be able to do the basic things in life

like clean my house and be a normal person. Sorry just

having a little pity party tonite.

Hope you start feeling better soon. In the mean time

guess we can keep each other company in the land of

the lurkers.

L

> ---------------------------

October 5, 1999

Joan-

I also take Magnesium. Cant remember what the dose is

right now. I have been wondering if it is the Doxy.

Never had this kind of pain on the Rocephin. In fact

the Rocephin eased the pain.

I see my doc again the 20th which is the end of the

current 6 wks worth. Hoping he will switch it to

something else.

Docs office called today with my daughters LUAT. All

negative so he said to quit the abx and he will see

her on the 20th with me. Of course when I asked about

mine I was given the results from 2 months ago. MA

said the new one must not be back yet. GRRRRRR That is

the one complaint I have with my docs office. There is

a new MA and she has ALOT to learn. The one that was

there before was wonderful and always knew what was

going on. Guess the new one just needs to be educated

and spend some time with all of us Lymies that are

there now.

Hoping to have an answer by Fri on my LUAT.

Hope you are feeling better too and thanks for the

input. Every bit counts.

L(MI)

--- " Joan S. " <Namkrats3@...> wrote:

> Hi ,

>

> This may sound like a dumb question, but have you

> tried Magnesium for

> the muscle spasms? My LLMD has me on 400mg. a

> day...when I can remember

> to take it...like acidophilus, you can't take it

> within 2 hrs. of abx.

>

> I found that when I was on Doxy, I got terrible

> muscle spasms in my

> jaw...haven't had them since I went on Biaxin...

>

> I know the herxes are horrible, and that it shows

> that the abx is having

> some effect on the chetes...but I don't think it is

> necessarily a good

> thing to go through horrendous herxes...the body can

> only take so much.

> I got so sick while on the Biaxin/Doxy combo that I

> wound up in the

> hospital and discontinued the Doxy. BTW, did you get

> your LUAT results

> yet?

>

> Hope you feel better soon! Joan LI NY

>

> ATTACHMENT part 2 message/rfc822

> Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 19:03:53 -0700 (PDT)

> From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> lyme-aidonelist

> Reply-to: lyme-aidonelist

> Subject: Re: [Lyme-aid] Another Lurker Heard From

>

> From: lc lott <lclott@...>

>

> --- " Joan S. " <Namkrats3@...> wrote:

> > From: Namkrats3@... (Joan S.)

> >

> > Hi ,

> > I know how you feel 'cos I'm feeling lousy also. I

> > never know if it's a

> > Herx or just the Lyme... but I don't think a Herx

> > can last for months!

> >

> > What meds are you on now? My LLMD tried combining

> > Doxy w/Biaxin, and I

> > got so sick that he discontinued the Doxy. I'm now

> > on Biaxin/Plaquinel,

> > and I can tolerate that combo much better. He also

> > has me on Celebrex

> > for the neck and back pain, and thankfully that is

> > helping me.

> >

> > My daughter went through the nausea after eating

> her

> > 1st meal of the

> > day, and we never got to the bottom of it. She

> > wasn't on abx at the

> > time, and it eventually resolved itself. She does

> > get nauseous, however,

> > if she gets up too early without having had enough

> > sleep.

> > Hang in there, and we'll lurk together!

> > Joan LI NY

> > Joan-

> Im on Doxy 500 mg/day. I take 200 in the morning 200

> in the afternoon and then 100 at night. I was off of

> it for a week to do another LUAT and was on 300/day

> at

> that point. When I went back on after the LUAT I

> went

> back on at 500/day. Dont know if it is just too much

> or if I am killing things off now and thats why I

> feel

> so crappy.

> I tried Celebrex and it worked well for a few weeks

> and then quit. Switched to Relafen with the same

> result. Ive also been on Ultram which does ok but

> makes do weird things like sleepwalk and also makes

> me

> feel really strange. Didnt seem like the benefit was

> worth the side effects so Im now taking Motrin.

> Think

> that might be part of my stomach problem so I am

> backing off on it too and of course then the pain is

> what knocks me down. My entire upper body goes into

> spasms from my neck to my waist. Some days it is so

> bad I have trouble breathing because the muscles are

> so tight.

> The reason I think this may be a Herx is because all

> of this started 3 days after restarting the Doxy at

> 500 mg a day.

> If I knew there was an end in sight I could handle

> it

> but it just seems to get worse instead of better. I

> have debated as Im sure all of us have at some point

> in time just stopping everything and letting my body

> rest and detox itself. But then of course there is

> the

> fear of further damage. Just want this nightmare to

> be

> over. I want to be able to do the basic things in

> life

> like clean my house and be a normal person. Sorry

> just

> having a little pity party tonite.

> Hope you start feeling better soon. In the mean time

> guess we can keep each other company in the land of

> the lurkers.

> L

> > ---------------------------

October 5, 1999

Reid-

Had the very fight today about why I " act " like I do.

Was told that sometimes you just have to get tough and

get thru it. Told him if he thought it was so easy Id

trade places with him in a heartbeat. His biggest

complaint is that I dont laugh or joke around anymore.

Told him at this point I see nothing to laugh about or

anything worth joking about except maybe the way we

Lymies are treated by not only the medical profession

but the very ones we thought we could depend on and

thats our family!! Finally told him to just leave and

that fighting was only making the spasms in my back

worse. His answer was that I always use this as an

excuse for not discussing " our " issues. As far as Im

concerned the issues are his not ours. Im doing the

best I can but that just isnt good enough I guess.

Hang in there. Good luck tomorrow. Ill be thinking

about you.

L(MI)

--- RMcmur3194@... wrote:

> lisa...

> u have hit the nail on the head......i go crazy

> ...and feel guilty ...that i

> have this disease.....and it limits me so....and

> does put more on

> others......but i did not ask to be sick.....it was

> not of my own

> doing......so quit trying to lay a guilt trip on me

> i tell them.....i am so

> glad to have lyme aid....as it is a place i am

> understood and relate to

> others.....especially about the marriage

> relationship thing.....i still say a

> lymie girl is the answer for me.....and yes joan

> takeout is the way to

> go....lol....

> Reid

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Send to -Offtopiconelist messages

> unrelated to lyme, please.

> /archive/lyme-aid

> /archives.cgi/Lyme-Documents

> To unsubscribe, send email to

> -unsubscribeonelist

> You may substitute " subscribe " , or " digest " or

> " normal " for

> the word " unsubscribe " ( " normal " is the opposite of

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> header.

>

<HR>

>

=====

October 5, 1999

Lovey-

I would be interested to know what your friend took if

you can get that info. Dont think this is a

gallbladder issue but if I can avoid it I would like

to try.

Thanks,

L(MI)

--- Marvina Lodge <lovey38@...> wrote:

> I have a friend who avoided surgery on the GB by

> taking a mixture of

> natural herbs, i.e. flax seeds, and other stuff

> which cleared up the

> sludge which formed in the GB. She was actually on

> the operating table

> when the surgeon took one last sonogram and could

> not find any

> gallstones, where 3 days prior they had shown up!

> She calles this the

> Holy Trinty, so it must be 3 herbs mixed together.

> I will try to find

> out for all of you. it purges the GB. Lovey

>

> On Sun, 3 Oct 1999 17:13:35 -0700 (PDT) lc lott

> <lclott@...>

> writes:

> > From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> >

> > -

> > Sorry it has taken so long to answer.

> > To answer your question about being curable the

> answer

> > unfortunatlly is no. I went over a year without a

> dx

> > ot treatment and possibly have a reoccurance vs.

> > reinfection from 1994. Was treated that time with

> Doxy

> > 200/day for 30 days so we all know that it was

> > probably not curative then either even tho it was

> > treated within 2 weeks of my rash. Funny the same

> doc

> > that treated me last time refused to treat me this

> > time. Sent me on to the University.

> > I also considered the gallbladder possibility but

> the

> > pain is muscular and is throughout my entire upper

> > body. And yes I am a borderline asthmatic. Do not

> take

> > any meds regularly but do have an inhaler for

> acute

> > attacks. The muscle spasms are from my neck to my

> > waist on both sides. Even my doc was amazed at how

> > tight everything was and said he couldnt tell one

> knot

> > from another.

> > I think things are getting better slowly. Must be

> I

> > was having or am still having a major Herx. Hope

> when

> > the good days come the are really great because Im

> > looking forward to them.

> > Thanks again for your input. Hope you are feeling

> > well.

> > L

> >

> > --- <swsftwtx@...> wrote:

> > > From: <swsftwtx@...>

> > >

> > > Dear L,

> > >

> > > Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time

> > > herxing.

> > > I know what that's like, as we all do, so you

> have a

> > > lot

> > > of friends here who will understand what your're

> > > going

> > > through, so if you need an outlet, we're here!

> > >

> > > I even herxed on Amoxil 3 days of taking them

> and at

> > > first thought I can deal with this, not much

> worse

> > > than what

> > > I'd been doing for 20 years, but on the 10th

> day, I

> > > changed

> > > my tune! Do you know if your LD caught in time

> to

> > > be able

> > > to cure? Sure hope so, sorry if that's a stupid

> > > question but

> > > I don't get a chance to read all the mail.

> > >

> > > I had the rib and chest pain along with the

> spinal

> > > pain

> > > years before being diagnosed and treated for LD.

> I

> > > found out after beginning treatment the gall

> bladder

> > > I

> > > knew didn't like rich foods, etc. was kaput, and

> a

> > > lot

> > > of the reason for so much chest wall and rib

> pain.

> > > The

> > > pain would be so bad it would take me to my

> knees,

> > > and not getting much pain medication, I would

> use a

> > > heating pad clutched to my chest. You might ask

> > > about

> > > having your gall bladder checked, there's one

> test

> > > they

> > > do along with sonogram where they inject small

> > > amount

> > > of " stuff " don't know what it was, but it

> stressed

> > > the

> > > gall bladder, and if it duplicates the pain you

> > > have, then

> > > chances are you don't need the gall bladder.

> And,

> > > they

> > > remove them now with 3 small incisions and it's

> day

> > > surgery. Bentyl, is something they can give you

> > > too, to

> > > help. Wish I'd know years ago, I'd had the

> thing

> > > removed then before suffering all those years!

> > >

> > > Also, do you have Asthma? I found that between

> the

> > > gall bladder and the Asthma, I had a lot of

> pain.

> > > Once

> > > I started taking the Asthma medication every 12

> hrs.

> > > (tablet), I also did better and was able to get

> more

> > > oxygen too.

> > >

> > > One other thing discovered by MRI after I was

> dx'd

> > > with the LD was that I had bulges at both

> cervical

> > > and lumbar spine. Seems quite a number of

> people

> > > with LD have this, without prior injury. Also,

> too

> > > many

> > > of the Fibro people have it too. Seems a paper

> I

> > > read

> > > recently did a study on Fibro people and found

> > > something like 40% of them positive for LD.

> > >

> > > Wishing us all health and freedom from pain,

> > > both physical and emotional -

> > >

> > > lc lott wrote:

> > >

> > > > From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> > > >

> > > > Hi all-

> > > > Havent been around much. Dont know if it is

> the

> > > HERX

> > > > from Hell or if it is just the Lyme.

> > >

> > > ---------------------------

October 5, 1999

Lovey-

Ill ask my doc about it when I see him. Is it easy on

the stomach?? That seems to be the problem I have with

antiinflammmatories. Had to quit taking Motrin because

of the GI problems it was causing.

L(MI)

--- Marvina Lodge <lovey38@...> wrote:

> , my LLMD has put me on Vioxx, 25mg once a day.

> It is an

> antiinflamatory and it is working well. Although it

> does have a tendency

> to slow the bowel down some. It is a COX-2

> inhibitor as well. Lovey

>

> On Sun, 3 Oct 1999 16:34:31 -0700 (PDT) lc lott

> <lclott@...>

> writes:

> > From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> >

> > Marta-

> > I tried to call my doc and got his MA. She is new

> and

> > didnt have a clue. I wasnt up to the whole

> explanation

> > about HERXing and on and on so I just told her

> never

> > mind. I see him on the 20th and will discuss

> > everything at that time. My stomach has settled

> down

> > since I quit taking the Motrin as well as the pain

> > meds. The trade off is that my back and ribs are

> worse

> > as well as my knees and elbows. When it gets

> > unbearable I do take my pain meds but Im not

> taking

> > them on a regular basis.

> > Sorry you are feeling so lousy too. Hopefully we

> are

> > both HERXing and this will be over soon and we can

> > have some sunny days and great chats.

> > Take care and hope to be back soon.

> > Hugs,

> >

> > --- J & M McCoy <mlmccoy@...> wrote:

> > > From: " J & M McCoy " <mlmccoy@...>

> > >

> > > Hi ,

> > > So sorry you are feeling so bad, I sure can

> > > empathize with you. The rib

> > > pains you are experiencing are a symptom many of

> us

> > > have at one time or

> > > another, and they are extremely painful, the

> good

> > > news is they will pass.

> > > If you have been following the list, you know I

> am

> > > having lots of dizziness

> > > since late August, I was on Meclizine 25mg three

> > > times a day but I sure knew

> > > when the drug wore off, so my doctor rx'd the

> patch

> > > for motion sickness.

> > > You wear it three days, and then put another one

> on

> > > the other side of your

> > > ear. It has helped me quite a bit, and I was

> > > finally able to stop the oral

> > > Meclizine.

> > > I do hope you feel better real soon, rest as

> much

> > > as you can, and ask

> > > your doctor for something to counteract the

> nausea.

> > > Hugs,

> > > Marta NJ

> > > Tick found in scalp, August 1996. I live in

> South

> > > Jersey

> > > and my tick bite was from here. Tested positive

> for

> > > HME

> > > & Lyme disease in Feb 1997. Have had 6 weeks of

> IV,

> > > on oral meds for over 3 years now. Suffering

> from

> > > Peripheral

> > > Neuropathy, Herniated cervical discs. Still

> herx

> > > monthly.

> > >

> > > >From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> > > >

> > > >Hi all-

> > > >Havent been around much. Dont know if it is the

> > > HERX

> > > >from Hell or if it is just the Lyme. Have been

> > > having

> > > >horrible back rib and chest spasms along with

> just

> > > >feeling like crap. Feel like I have morning

> > > sickness

> > > >every time I eat and no there is no chance that

> I

> > > am

> > > >pregnant so thats out. Have been reading the

> posts

> > > tho

> > > >and have wanted to answer but just cant seem to

> > > find

> > > >the energy or the words. Taking advantage of a

> > > little

> > > >lull tonite. Not feeling as brain dead. Still

> > > having

> > > >pain but it is bearable tonite.

> > > >Dabs-Saying big prayers for you that you are

> going

> > > to

> > > >keep feeling as good as you are.

> > > >Reid-You are still my inspiration to keep

> fighting

> > > and

> > > >not just let the bas***ds get us down!!

> > > >Sorry guys I tried to remember all the biggies

> I

> > > >wanted to say something to in this and it came

> and

> > > >went but I know you can all relate to that.

> > > >Just wanted everyone to know that although Im

> not

> > > >saying much I love you guys and you are all

> keeping

> > > me

> > > >from just saying to hell with it and just

> crawling

> > > >into bed and hybernating till this is over.

> Thanks

> > > >all.

> > > >Missed the conference on the 25th. Wanted to go

> so

> > > bad

> > > >but knew I would never make it thru it so didnt

> > > even

> > > >try it.

> > > >Well Im about at my limit for sitting so better

> go

> > > try

> > > >to move around and then see if I can sleep

> tonite.

> > > >Once again Thanks all and big hugs to everyone.

> > > > L(MI)37 going on 207 LOL

> > >

> > > ---------------------------

October 6, 1999

, what lab did your dr use for your LUAT testing? If it was Igenex

then they probably sent it to Mayo Clinic or Boston Biomedical Clinical

Labs in CT because they are trying to become re-accredited before the end

of the year (All California labs are having to do this) so they have

contracted out some of their testing. This may explain delays in

results. Lovey

On Tue, 5 Oct 1999 18:58:38 -0700 (PDT) lc lott <lclott@...>

writes:

> From: lc lott <lclott@...>

>

> Joan-

> I also take Magnesium. Cant remember what the dose is

> right now. I have been wondering if it is the Doxy.

> Never had this kind of pain on the Rocephin. In fact

> the Rocephin eased the pain.

> I see my doc again the 20th which is the end of the

> current 6 wks worth. Hoping he will switch it to

> something else.

> Docs office called today with my daughters LUAT. All

> negative so he said to quit the abx and he will see

> her on the 20th with me. Of course when I asked about

> mine I was given the results from 2 months ago. MA

> said the new one must not be back yet. GRRRRRR That is

> the one complaint I have with my docs office. There is

> a new MA and she has ALOT to learn. The one that was

> there before was wonderful and always knew what was

> going on. Guess the new one just needs to be educated

> and spend some time with all of us Lymies that are

> there now.

> Hoping to have an answer by Fri on my LUAT.

> Hope you are feeling better too and thanks for the

> input. Every bit counts.

> L(MI)

>

> --- " Joan S. " <Namkrats3@...> wrote:

> > Hi ,

> >

> > This may sound like a dumb question, but have you

> > tried Magnesium for

> > the muscle spasms? My LLMD has me on 400mg. a

> > day...when I can remember

> > to take it...like acidophilus, you can't take it

> > within 2 hrs. of abx.

> >

> > I found that when I was on Doxy, I got terrible

> > muscle spasms in my

> > jaw...haven't had them since I went on Biaxin...

> >

> > I know the herxes are horrible, and that it shows

> > that the abx is having

> > some effect on the chetes...but I don't think it is

> > necessarily a good

> > thing to go through horrendous herxes...the body can

> > only take so much.

> > I got so sick while on the Biaxin/Doxy combo that I

> > wound up in the

> > hospital and discontinued the Doxy. BTW, did you get

> > your LUAT results

> > yet?

> >

> > Hope you feel better soon! Joan LI NY

> >

>

> > ATTACHMENT part 2 message/rfc822

> > Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 19:03:53 -0700 (PDT)

> > From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> > lyme-aidonelist

> > Reply-to: lyme-aidonelist

> > Subject: Re: [Lyme-aid] Another Lurker Heard From

> >

> > From: lc lott <lclott@...>

> >

> > --- " Joan S. " <Namkrats3@...> wrote:

> > > From: Namkrats3@... (Joan S.)

> > >

> > > Hi ,

> > > I know how you feel 'cos I'm feeling lousy also. I

> > > never know if it's a

> > > Herx or just the Lyme... but I don't think a Herx

> > > can last for months!

> > >

> > > What meds are you on now? My LLMD tried combining

> > > Doxy w/Biaxin, and I

> > > got so sick that he discontinued the Doxy. I'm now

> > > on Biaxin/Plaquinel,

> > > and I can tolerate that combo much better. He also

> > > has me on Celebrex

> > > for the neck and back pain, and thankfully that is

> > > helping me.

> > >

> > > My daughter went through the nausea after eating

> > her

> > > 1st meal of the

> > > day, and we never got to the bottom of it. She

> > > wasn't on abx at the

> > > time, and it eventually resolved itself. She does

> > > get nauseous, however,

> > > if she gets up too early without having had enough

> > > sleep.

> > > Hang in there, and we'll lurk together!

> > > Joan LI NY

> > > Joan-

> > Im on Doxy 500 mg/day. I take 200 in the morning 200

> > in the afternoon and then 100 at night. I was off of

> > it for a week to do another LUAT and was on 300/day

> > at

> > that point. When I went back on after the LUAT I

> > went

> > back on at 500/day. Dont know if it is just too much

> > or if I am killing things off now and thats why I

> > feel

> > so crappy.

> > I tried Celebrex and it worked well for a few weeks

> > and then quit. Switched to Relafen with the same

> > result. Ive also been on Ultram which does ok but

> > makes do weird things like sleepwalk and also makes

> > me

> > feel really strange. Didnt seem like the benefit was

> > worth the side effects so Im now taking Motrin.

> > Think

> > that might be part of my stomach problem so I am

> > backing off on it too and of course then the pain is

> > what knocks me down. My entire upper body goes into

> > spasms from my neck to my waist. Some days it is so

> > bad I have trouble breathing because the muscles are

> > so tight.

> > The reason I think this may be a Herx is because all

> > of this started 3 days after restarting the Doxy at

> > 500 mg a day.

> > If I knew there was an end in sight I could handle

> > it

> > but it just seems to get worse instead of better. I

> > have debated as Im sure all of us have at some point

> > in time just stopping everything and letting my body

> > rest and detox itself. But then of course there is

> > the

> > fear of further damage. Just want this nightmare to

> > be

> > over. I want to be able to do the basic things in

> > life

> > like clean my house and be a normal person. Sorry

> > just

> > having a little pity party tonite.

> > Hope you start feeling better soon. In the mean time

> > guess we can keep each other company in the land of

> > the lurkers.

> > L

> > > ---------------------------

October 6, 1999

true lisa they our " our " issues ....i suffer from other problems....like

being to honest when i try to discuss what i am goinbg thru .....i get told "

i can't take away ur pain " and things as such.....when she is down over

something related to my illness and i ask whats wrong i get "

nothing " .....bullshit i know whats wrong.....let her tell me she hates this

illness as much as me and what it has done to us.....then we will have

something in common.....she trys not to aggravate me as she knows it stress's

me ......but by her not sharing it piss's me off more......does that make any

sense to anyone.....don't act like everythings great when it is not....lets

talk about it liker i do on this forum and get it out inb the open....thanks

for all ur support guys ....and gals ....i love ya all

Reid

October 6, 1999

Hi Reid,

You and your wife should talk, talk, and TALK. She has no way of

understanding how you really feel unless you tell her, and she should

tell you how she really feels. If she will open up to you about her

frustrations, you can comfort eachother. I explain to my husband how

inadequate I feel, and how I wish things were different. I tell him how

badly I feel that he has to do so much. I try to do little things when I

can...just to show him that I want to try to help. I know that you do

that too.

I think that if you are sincere, she will understand. Also, it might

help if your LLMD talks to her, if he/she hasn't already done so. Good

luck to you and yours. Joan LI NY

From: RMcmur3194@...