Hoping you are all doing well!!

May 3, 2006

I haven't kept in touch much. Been kinda busy.Went back to work.

Only for a few hours a day. Been feeling depressed more. Going to

see my GP tomorrow ,maybe he will up my anti-depressants. I am into

my 6th month on tx. I still do not feel well. Have lost over 55lbs

and still dropping.I have cut a total of 32inches of my hair off.It

is falling out so bad!! I have lost so much muscle. I look aweful.

My Gastro. DR. never said anything to me about the weight. Last

time i saw him he walked in the door and said ,your not ? And

i said yes i am and he said why are you losing so much weight? He

knows i do not eat meat and you have to have protien to build

muscle. I had never had problems with muscle I was healthy.So i

thought!! I know now that i need alot of Protien. And guess who

started me on a great Protien drink? My Chirop. He is so awesome. I

have lost so much faith in Doctors. They make me depressed!! LOL I

do however love my GP. Haven't seen him for a very long time.I am

trying very hard to keep my faith and be possitive.And i know alot

of you say you would do this again ,but i don't really think i

could.I rather have all my 6 kids all over again!! Well maybe!! LOL

I do appreciate all of you . Thanks for listening to all my

sniviling!! I had my daughter here for 6 weeks from Phoenix and that

was wonderful.My son will be here May27th. So excited.

Hey gang do i keep going? I feel aweful. And my doc lowered my

meds. And i still can't eat or sleep.My doc wants me to do the

treatments for 7 more months. I can not aford to lose anymore

weight. This is where my depression come in.He tells me i'm tough

and i can do it. He's such a jerk.Then he called me anoixic. I do

eat and i do excerise, but not alot. It seems like i have lost my

taste for everything. I do crave fruits and i have always eaten alot

of veggies. I love fish and chicken once in a while.But have no

taste for it anymore.I know what an anorixic is and he made me so

mad.Jack told him i eat ,but not alot of different foods and we go

for walks, but not far cause i tire easy. I ride my excerise bike,

but i was only trying to build muscle.Didn't do me any good cause i

wasn't getting any protien.Am i going crazy here? He is suppose to

be the best Doc around here. What do i do? Thanks for listening.

Please keep in touch,Thanks

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