A Redneck Valentine

[Guest guest]

Collards is green,> > > my dog's name is Blue> > > and I'm so lucky> > > to have a sweet thang like you.> > >> > > Yore hair is like cornsilk> > > a-flapping in the breeze.> > > Softer than Blue's> > > and without all them fleas.> > >> > > You move like the bass,> > > which excite me in May.> > > You ain't got no scales> > > but I luv you anyway.> > >> > > Yo're as satisfy'n as okry> > > jist a-fry'n in the pan.> > > Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"> > > right out of the can.> > >> > > You have some'a yore teeth,> > > for which I am proud;> > > I hold my head high> > > when we're in a crowd.> > >> > > On special occasions,> > > when you shave under yore arms,> > > well, I'm in hawg heaven,> > > and awed by yore charms.> > >> > > Still them fellers at work,> > > they all want to know,> > > what I did to deserve> > > such a purdy, young doe.> > >> > > Like a good roll of duct tape> > > yo're there fer yore man,> > > to patch up life's troubles> > > and fix what you can.> > >> > > Yo're as cute as a junebug> > > a-buzzin' overhead.> > > You ain't mean like those far ants> > > I found in my bed.> > >> > > Cut from the best cloth> > > like a plaid flannel shirt,> > > you spark up my life> > > more than a fresh load of dirt.> > >> > > When you hold me real tight> > > like a padded gunrack,> > > my life is complete;> > > Ain't nuttin' I lack.> > >> > > Yore complexion, it's perfection,> > > like the best vinyl sidin'.> > > despite all the years,> > > yore age, it keeps hidin'.> > >> > > Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie> > > with a RC cold drank,> > > we go together> > > like a skunk goes with stank.> > >> > > Some men, they buy chocolate> > > for Valentine's Day;> > > They git it at Wal-Mart,> > > it's romantic that way.> > >> > > Some men git roses> > > on that special day> > > from the cooler at Kroger.> > > "That's impressive," I say.> > >> > > Some men buy fine diamonds> > > from a flea market booth.> > > "Diamonds are forever,"> > > they explain, suave and couth.> > >> > > But for this man, honey,> > > these won't do.> > > Cause yor'e too special,> > > you sweet thang you.> > >> > > I got you a gift,> > > without taste nor odor,> > > more useful than diamonds...> > > IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!> > >

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.Eddie