Fwd: ten rules of housekeeping

[Guest guest]

i am soooooooo adopting these for sure!!! effective

jan 1, happy new year everyone! deb

ps. (and for those of you i havent snoopy danced

with...i got the job in Port townsend that i

wanted....effective 1/1/02...it will be a perfect new

year!!!)

> TEN RULES OF HOUSEKEEPING

> 1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers.

> Say this with a

> serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone

> mentions Carpet

> Fresh.

> 2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when

> disturbed. Rename

> the area under the couch " The Galapagos Islands " and

> claim an ecological

> exemption.

> 3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens

> provide a helpful filter

> against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it

> an SPF factor of 5

> and leave it alone.

> 4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces

> the glare from the

> bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If

> your husband points out

> that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look

> affronted and exclaim,

> " What? And spoil the mood? "

> 5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the

> haphazard tower of unread

> magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides

> the valuable Feng

> Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your

> vulnerability. Roll your

> eyes when you say this.

> 6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against

> the doorways by

> claiming you are collecting it there to use for

> stuffing handsewn play

> animals for underprivileged children.

> 7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything

> unsightly into one

> room and close the door. As you show your guests

> through your tidy home,

> rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and

> say, " I'd love you to

> see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and

> the shots are SO

> expensive. "

> 8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place

> a showy urn on the

> coffee table and insist that " THIS is where Grandma

> wanted us to scatter

> her ashes... "

> 9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly

> over a dirty wall

> with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a

> glint of tears as you

> say, " ny did this when he was two ~ I haven't

> had the heart to

> clean it... "

> 10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household

> cleaner with four cups of

> water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave

> dampened rags in

> conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look,

> throw yourself onto

> the couch, and sigh, " I clean and I clean and I

> still don't get

> anywhere... "

> --Author Unknown

>

>

> http://community.webtv.net/jcmmo/Affirmation

>

>

=====

deb, the wicked one

debsimonen@...

" Between two evils, i always pick the one i haven't tried before. " Mae West

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