Hello to all from #2

[Guest guest]

Sorry that I have been a 'lurker' for so very long... lots of excuses... but had

to respond to this entry... definitely weight cannot be an 'excuse' for having

PA.... I have never been overweight... am 5'8 " and have averaged around 110 to

117 life all my life, am 48, went through five pregnancies gaining at least 45

pounds each time... so, although weight always plays a role of some sorts, it

can not be the cause of PA.

We all know that being underweight or overweight can effect us in various

ways, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I have people

telling me all the time to 'gain weight' and all my problems will go away...

sometimes I feel like getting a sledge hammer and banging on all their joints

and see how they feel... I have had to accept the fact that no matter how well

-intentioned a person may be, that no one can truly understand the depth of our

pain unless they have actually experienced it themselves... many people mean

well, but pain is (and I suppose always will be) a very misunderstood issue.

I was in remission for almost an entire a year, strangely enough I actually

missed my pain... I think deep inside I knew it was too good to be true or to

last... as if nature was teasing me with a bit of normalcy... just waiting for

the flare-up to come back in full force... I actually missed my pain because it

had become a part of me that I had accepted and learned to live with....

strange, kind of like having hiccups that you want to cease... then when they do

stop you keep waiting for the next one to come along.... a good friend of my

mom's always told me to wake up every day and think...PMI (Positive Mental

Attitude)... easier said than done, I know. Because my mom had Multiple

Sclerosis and I always remember her in her wheelchair... I always think of

her... she always smiled and said things could always have been worse... that

she was blessed to have all the medical equipment and medicines that she needed,

a wonderful husband (my dad... amazing man), and a

supportive family and group of friends... these were the blessings that she

treasured and never took forgranted... so, I always tell myself that if she were

so positive in her situation, that I can do the same... things could always be

worse.

I am so grateful for this Support group of ours... this site has helped

me more than all the doctors and medicines combined... each of us is important

in our own way, actually having PA and treating PA are not at all the same....

only we can truly understand how each of us feels.... by sharing our stories,

our experiences, our advice, our treatment choices, and so on... I have always

been happy to see messages that have been posted by some in this group who are

living with a person who has PA... it is wonderful to see the genuine concern of

a loved one who actually cares enough to read the postings and contribute...

I know I am rambling... but it has been so long since I posted... too many

things going on in my life at the moment (all okay, just hectic... 3 kids in

university, family member with Alzheimer's, friend whose son is waiting for a

liver trasplant, etc, ... I know that each and every one of us has lots of

things going on in our lives...) just had two cortisone injections this

morning... one in each foot... am on MTX and Cyclosporine for the time being...

just want my feet to feel better so that I can do some walking again.... right

now would just love to sleep without pain... the pain just makes me so tired all

the time... is this how any of you feel?

I feel like I am always exhausted... I feel like I am being lazy... especially

that I wake up exhausted and in so much pain... I am always waiting for the day

that I can wake up and feel fresh and ready to do anything I want... I can just

as easily sit home and relax all day or sleep..... OR if I do push myself to get

up and out of the house I am on the go like the Duracell Bunny... but then I

crash as the day goes on... it seems I am kind of in a 'all or nothing' mode ...

I seem to do things in extremes... is anyone else like that?

I apologize again... I know I am rambling... Anyway, I wish each and everyone

of you the best health, with lots of happiness and smiles...

#2

[Editor's Note: What a lovely first post, . So sorry that your

circumstances brought you to us, but I hope you find a lot of information and

support. Kathy F.]