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Re: Re: Apology/etc/whiner

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Yes we do! I lived in Ga until I was 23 yrs old. My ex-husband moved me to Texas

then and I stayed 27 yrs. We divorced & I moved back home. I've been here since

2000 and I love being home! I live in Maysville near Commerce but work in

Norcross. Quite a long drive especially now. But I need the insurance and at

almost 57, I'm not sure I could find a job up here. My husband and I have

talked about me finding something closer to home and not so demanding. I enjoy

working and want to work as long as I can. But the drive and hours are getting

to me.

take care

Dotti

trueadelan <adc1979@...> wrote:

>

> Hi from one G.R.I.T to another!! " where bouts you from in GA " . LOL

>

> Dotti (Maysville, ga)

>

Hi, Dotti!

My hometown is Columbus, but I live in Gwinnett County...We always come

home, don't we?

---------------------------------

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Hi Betz,

My answer to people who ask depends on who they are. If it is family or friend

and I think

they really are interested I'll tell them I'm having a bad day. If they change

the subject, that's

just fine with me. Next time they ask, I say the usual " Just fine! " .

Telemarketers always get

my dander up but I never thought of telling them the truth. Maybe that would

work better than

blasting at them about dinner hours and bedtimes and just plain leave me alone.

If I want to do

business with you, I'll call YOU. Too many times people ask how you are, but

they really

don't want to know. Those are the ones I will sometimes bore to tears about how

I REALLY

feel. Life's entertainment can be had in so many varied ways. lol. Have a

great day and

you are still on my prayer list.

Janet in Ca

PS. The story about the time capsule and the tree is hilarious. I got a big

kick out of that.(JK)

[Editor's Note: When I'm really feeling coy and people ask how I'm doing, I

reply, " Never better! " in a booming voice. No one quite knows what to say since

they don't hear this reply in the normal course. Kathy, one, idiot, zero.

Kathy F.]

-------------- Original message --------------

From: " Betsy Jack " <itsbetsy@...>

> latest challenge I am facing along that line is what to say when

> people ask how you are doing. I was always one to smile and

> say " Just fine " ...blah blah blah. And I don't want to spread gloom

> and doom around but I'd really like to be honest about it. I tend to

> say something like " A little better everyday " or " Breathing and

> happy to do it " . I want to be positive without placating people or

> depressing them. The only time I am really honest about how I am

> doing is when I get a sales call at home and the person asks " How

> are you today? " THEN I tell them. It's a great way to get yourself

> put on the " Do not call " list. After you've given them the full run

> down from the time you first noticed symptoms to present, be sure

> and thank them for asking and let them know that most people don't

> care enough to ask such a thoughtful question. Otherwise you might

> come across as rude. -Betz

>

>

>

>

>

> Please visit our Psoriatic Arthritis Group's informational web page at:

> http://www.wpunj.edu/pa/ -- created and edited by list member

> aka(raharris@...).

>

> Also,in August 2001,list member Jack aka Cornishpro@... began to

> conduct extensive research which he publishes as the " Psoriatic Arthritis

> Research Newsletter " , monthly in our email and digest format. Many thanks to

> Jack. Back issues of the newsletter are stored on our PA webpage as well as

the

> archives of the list.

>

> Don't forget that the list archives comprise a tremendous amount of

information

> (Over three years of messages and answers).Feel free to browse them at your

> convenience.

>

> LET'S HEAR FROM SOME OF YOU LURKERS out there! If you have a comment or

> question, chances are there is a person who has been around a while who can

help

> you out with AT LEAST an educated guess for an answer! If not,we can steer you

> in the right direction with a good website to go to,

>

> Blessings and Peace,

>

> Atwood-Stack, Founder

> Alan , Web & List Editor

> Jack , Newsletter Editor

> Pat Bias, List Editor

> Ron Dotson, List Editor

> Orin, List Editor

> Kathy F., List Editor

> and any others who help in any way (thank you!)

>

>

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That's a good reply, thank you Sherry

Dotti

" S. Zorzi " <szorzi_1999@...> wrote:

What to tell people who ask how you are? I think I get this idea from

a post on this board, but I can't remember...

I tell them, " Some days are better than others. This is one of

those. " Or " is not one of those " as the case may be.

sherry z

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We all need a pity party sometimes but.. how about 7 mins of counting our

blessings!!! :)

" S. Zorzi " <szorzi_1999@...> wrote: Thanks for the good thoughts,

Kathy!

My parents' generation always said that hardship builds character.

I thought that was the dumbest thing I ever heard, but now having

gone through quite a bit of trouble - not just this latest with PA -

I have to say there is quite a bit of wisdom in that old-fashioned

idea.

It's not automatic, though. Trouble can make you bitter, or it can

make you strong and compassionate and kind and humble and focused on

what really matters in life. We each get to make that choice every

day.

Now, that's not to say that I don't do my own share of whining!

I've been practicing Betz's idea of the 7-minute pity party. I even

set my timer. When the dinger dings, I dry my tears and move

forward. I like your idea of timing the pity-pot to the potty-pot,

too! I might try that as well. I could sit there every day and

moan and groan and be-witch to my hearts' content for a few minutes -

then flush my troubles right down along with the other. I like

that idea!

best,

sherry z

> [Editor's Note: Fortunately for me, the negativity of others is

seldom contagious. Most days, I find more things to be happy for

than I could possibly have imagined when I woke up in part because I

choose to emphasize the positive things in my life. I celebrate more

the things I can still do than mourn the things I have lost. I have

PA but it doesn't have me. I spent my entire working career (36

years) with PA and I am certainly familiar with the " you don't look

sick " attitude of others, but I seldom gauge my value or my truth on

what others think of me. I also remind myself that just as others

don't know my pain, I cannot possibly understand theirs. How many

of the people that I came in contact with daily had a bad marriage?

An alcoholic spouse? A self addiction? A sick child? A dying

parent? A huge financial crisis? A tumor? I don't feel I have the

right to EXPECT people to understand me any more than I am able to

understand them and the things that make them weep. Given this, I

long ago decided that pity pots were to be sat on for about as long

each day as the other pot I sit on. I have always volunteered

because helping others is the best way to stop focusing on

yourself. As it became harder to volunteer outside of the home, I

undertook things such as moderating this list and helping out at a

local food pantry by doing record keeping when I could no longer

help with the hefting. I believe that a wheelchair is in my future,

too, but there are so many wonderful things to be seen while sitting

down...

> Kathy F.]

>

>

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well sherry , sometimes I use the 7 minutes all at once and sometimes only 3

min in morning ,3 minutes in afternoon and a minute just before i go to sleep

... lol ..Youcan get a lot of complaining in in one minute . . Actually on

bad days I run into the next day of my 7 minutes , cathy

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Yes it does Sherry! I use to have a long island ice tea or glass of wine with

my pity parties but guess those days are over! LOL I can't induge in my first

love.... food because I refuse to buy bigger clothes, I have to choose my foods

wisely because of the PA and hypothyroidism. I don't smoke, Lord knows I dont'

need to do anything else to this body. I wear splints on my hands & wrist at

night for carpel tunnel. My husband calls them boxing gloves.. guess I could put

them on and beat the heck out of something! LOL I love to read but usually

don't have the time. I joined a book club about 5 yrs ago to make myself read

and have collected several books to read " later in life " .... well later is

here. So I've been reading quite a bit lately. It takes me away for a time

period. We all need a pity party but don't forget the blessing party too!

Y'all are so encouraging. I'm so thrilled to be apart of it.

Dotti

" S. Zorzi " <szorzi_1999@...> wrote:

So true, Dotti! I do that every morning during my daily devotions.

Starts the day off right.

best regards,

sherry z

>

> We all need a pity party sometimes but.. how about 7 mins of

counting our blessings!!! :)

>

---------------------------------

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, that is funny!!!

pretzelb3@... wrote: well sherry , sometimes I use the 7 minutes

all at once and sometimes only 3

min in morning ,3 minutes in afternoon and a minute just before i go to sleep

.... lol ..Youcan get a lot of complaining in in one minute . . Actually on

bad days I run into the next day of my 7 minutes , cathy

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In a message dated 10/31/2006 8:17:13 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

szorzi_1999@... writes:

What to tell people who ask how you are?

It usually make them happy and make me feel better if I simply say, " Better,

thank you. "

Nothing more, nothing less. And by all means say it with the best smile you

can muster up.

Whether I'm doing better or not is really none of their business as far as

I'm concerned; plus, they usually aren't really concerned but being

nice/polite.

I've worked in the service industry for over 40 years and it's the smile

people want. The few who are really concerned will stop and asked more

questions. That's when you can load your guns and start firing. lol

Sandy swOhio

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yep.... that liver is a good thing to have! LOL I also tried to have a glass of

wine at reader's group but just don't want to take the chance. Now if I could

just look at food in the same way! LOL

Dotti

" S. Zorzi " <szorzi_1999@...> wrote:

Dotti, yes the wine is gone for me too. I was continuing to have 1

small glass per week, but one bad report on my liver function has me

skipping it altogether now. I do miss it though - being of Italian

descent, it's always been our beverage with meals, along with ice

water. But I really do want to keep my liver! LOL!

missing the fruit of the vine,

sherry z

>

> Yes it does Sherry! I use to have a long island ice tea or glass of

wine with my pity parties but guess those days are over! LOL

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There is a non-alcoholic wine actually. The label/brand whatever is called

Ariel. The have a red, a white, a zinfandel, and if I remember right they even

have a champagne. I remember it being pretty dang good. It doesn't just taste

like grape juice like you'd think.

Jayson

[ ] Re: Apology/etc/whiner

They make non-alcoholic beer; why can't they make non-alcoholic wine???

;) sherry z

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You know what... I think they do?? I remember now a friend of ours bringing it

to a party. Her husband brought the non-alcoholic beer and she brought the wine.

I'll have to check that out...

Thanks Sherry

Dotti

" S. Zorzi " <szorzi_1999@...> wrote:

They make non-alcoholic beer; why can't they make non-alcoholic

wine???

;) sherry z

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No problem Sherry :). I hope you like it. Let me know.

J

[ ] Re: Apology/etc/whiner

Oh my gosh, Jayson - you are THE BOMB!!! I just visited their

website. This is awesome! Tomorrow I'm ordering a mixed case to try

all their varieties. Thank you, thank you.

life is good,

sherry z

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Hi again Dotti,

Well, I meant to look ahead to see if you had posted again before sending out

that last post to you but I forgot. I have now done so and see that you have

been posting away. Didn't I say this group would be good for you? lol

It's great to see you are feeling better about it all. I know you would still

rather not have it though. lol

Take care,

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Hi Dotti,

I also called all my kids and asked them to have their doctors check them for PA

and/or other autoimmune diseases. My 3 younger kids, all in their 30's + all

had symptoms I recognized. One needs a hip replacement, he has avascular

necrosis. My oldest son has knee problems, and my youngest daughter just had

foot surgery. None

of them have agreed yet to see a rheumatologist, but I plan to keep after them

because if they should have PA it would definately be best to find out early.

I'll pray your daughter is ok.

Janet in Ca

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Hi Kathy,

I understand what you are saying. The news I heard last night brings that

home to me. An ex work colleague of mine, approximately one year older than me

was found a couple of nights ago by his brother, sitting in front of the tv with

his uneaten evening meal on his lap. He had made the meal sat down to eat it

and died before he got the chance. This is a man who seemed perfectly fit, if

a little overweight and who was within the next few days going to work in

Jerusalem. So, there is always someone worse off than we are, even if they and

we

don't know it at the time.

Take care,

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Everytime I go see my folks, my Dad has a new pet name, its hypocondriac... He

says this at least once a week... Mother says to ignore him but you know, it

really does hurt when there is nothing one can do about their health issues...

Whether it is in joking or not, it still hurts my feelings as this is NOT the

life I would have choosen to be in and all the pills, shots ect... I guess they

think I just sit around playing on here with nothing but fun to do all day...

This is a deterent something to keep me busy and I enjoy it, little things I

cant do, that I want too...

Love And Peace

Always, Shaun And Barb

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