Re: Ian's pain

[Guest guest]

Hey Ian-

I'm with you too-

My brother killed himself in 2003 at 36 yrs old.

It was incredibly painful.

Esp. My parents.

I can't count the night I would be on the phone with

my mom telling her to call the police and have him

hauled off just to protect him from himself.

I remember how hard it was for my mom to go threw

that- I would always remind her that she was doing it

for him. After his death she knew she had done

everything humanly possible to help him.

I wish you the best- Hopefully you'll have a better

outcome than we did- Hopefully he'll get the help he

needs.

Good luck,

Tricia

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[Guest guest]

Hey Ian,

I just wanted to add my 2 cents. I know how hard it must have been for you.

I was very close to being put in that position once. It is so tough to

handle when we can't protect our children as easily when they are grown as we

did

when they were small. It may be normal for parents to blame themselves for

our children's problems in life, but you must not do that.

It took a long time for me to realize that I had lost control and his free

will took over when he grew up. All we can do now is be there when they us,

just as you were. Betz is right, you now need to rest and recharge. You will

be in our prayers.

Janet in Ca

[Guest guest]

Ian,

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I know the

heartbreak you are going thru. I have had to put my

sons in jail several times because of harming

themselves, or others namely me. Altho we fight with

our children we love them more than life itself. I

watched my oldest son go thru a year of prison rehab

for drugs, that was the harder than having chemo.

Knowing that I put him there. I stuck beside him

through the whole ordeal. He was mad at me at first

but there was nothing else that I could do he was of

leagl age so I couldn't do anything as a parent to

help him I had to do it like I was a stranger to him.

That was hard, I went to see him everyweekend, the

first month he wouldn't hardly talk to me. After that

he looked forward to my visits on the weekend. That

has been almost 2 years now, he is still on probation,

will be off in Oct.but I have to tell you he is a good

kid/man now. He has a good job at r making air

conditioners, been married for 1 1/2 yrs. and has a

daughter, buying his house and lets his wife sit at

home and take care of the baby. It was a long way to

get where he is now but never let up or give up, cry

everynight I did it's called tough love here and it

works if you do it right. It started when he was 16

and I refused to see it, when I finally opened my eyes

he had made the front page of the newspaper, I read it

at work that night. When I got off from work I went to

where he was living and showed him the paper and asked

him how it felt to make the paper. He was the youngest

one in the prison 18 and it was really a prison but it

was a rehab also for drug users. I have gone thru

similar things with my daughter and my middle son.

They are all on probation now. I just hope that they

learn before they end up in prison. My hands are tied

as a parent, but as a person there was a lot i could

do but it was heartbreaking. I have to go now, so keep

that light shining Ian. Things will get better. Sharon

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[Guest guest]

HERE! HERE! JANET...I AGREE WITH YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY! SHARON...YOU

ARE A ROCK -BETZ

>

> God be with you Sharon,

> After raising 4 children myself, I know that being a parent is the

most

> difficult thing we have to handle in life. I thank God everyday

that mine have

> turned out so well. Even with some of the problems my youngest

has had, none

> of them had a drug probllem. Growing up in a dysfunctional

family gave each

> of them different hurdles to jump though. So, thank God for the

older boy,

> and pray for the younger ones. We will along with you.

> Janet in Ca

>

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