reaching out

[Guest guest]

Gwen:

My thoughts and heart are with you as you go through this very difficult time

with Abby. Aiden, too, becomes highly anxious when forced to discuss his ocd Os

and Cs. Unfortunately, it took us 2 years to find a therapist that has been

able to help him to confront and name his Os, and to help us as a family know

how to help him confront and name them. He became very angry with all of us,

and continues to try to avoid facing ocd head on, but he knows that we will be

there to help him fight and he has improved more in the past couple of months

than in the previous two years. I say that because he is now learning that he

can take control back over his life, which I don't think he ever felt he could

do before.

I have broken down a couple of times, and I do escape when I can to visit

friends. The friendships I have made on this list are deep. I am also actively

involved in my local NAMI affiliate. I would certainly recommend finding a

group near you. You can do this through the nami.org website. If they offer

it, you and your husband should take the Hand to Hand course. It's free and

taught by other parents/family members of the mentally ill. I teach the Family

to Family course which is for family members of adults with mental illness.

Hand to Hand is for parents of children under 18.

Jule

[Guest guest]

Gwen:

My thoughts and heart are with you as you go through this very difficult time

with Abby. Aiden, too, becomes highly anxious when forced to discuss his ocd Os

and Cs. Unfortunately, it took us 2 years to find a therapist that has been

able to help him to confront and name his Os, and to help us as a family know

how to help him confront and name them. He became very angry with all of us,

and continues to try to avoid facing ocd head on, but he knows that we will be

there to help him fight and he has improved more in the past couple of months

than in the previous two years. I say that because he is now learning that he

can take control back over his life, which I don't think he ever felt he could

do before.

I have broken down a couple of times, and I do escape when I can to visit

friends. The friendships I have made on this list are deep. I am also actively

involved in my local NAMI affiliate. I would certainly recommend finding a

group near you. You can do this through the nami.org website. If they offer

it, you and your husband should take the Hand to Hand course. It's free and

taught by other parents/family members of the mentally ill. I teach the Family

to Family course which is for family members of adults with mental illness.

Hand to Hand is for parents of children under 18.

Jule

[Guest guest]

Gwen:

I'm so glad Abby was able to be home in time for Thanksgiving! I'm sure it's still very hard for her (and you), but it sounds like she's making good progress. I'm glad you found a way for a little me time, that's so important in order to keep everything going. Has she started the Wellbutrin yet? I hope it won't take too long to kick in. The days (and nights) just seem to drag when we're waiting for a new med to reach therapeutic levels. I also hope she'll be able to snuggle some more with you. Touch is an incredible healer.

We watched the video "X-Men" last night and one of the characters could not touch people without harming them. She was a young woman and so lonely and miserable. She made me think of Abby and how hard it is for her to be touched.

Reaching Out

The week has progressed well in most respects. Abby was released Monday night to day treatment. She is home in the evenings and at the hospital during the day. This has allowed her to continue her involvement in the school play. She has a major part and drama is one of the few things that keeps her going these days.She seems to want to stay very close to her dad and I. She has had her boyfriend over one night, but has not asked to go anywhere else but to stay at home with us. I know she wants us to be there to keep her safe!I was able to express in the meeting with she and the Social Worker, that there is nothing she can ever do, think, say, etc. that would ever cause me to quit being there for her! I also explained that I can separate who she is from the OCD. I'm not sure that even she is able to do this yet. When she has a terrible thought, I'm afraid she is blaming herself for being bad. At some point I want her to know that we understand the OCD "monster" and know it is not her. I know she is afraid that if we know everything, we will not be able to handle it and will abandon her.Tuesday after the meeting with the Social Worker in the morning, I could tell that Abby was very stressed. She always is when forced to discuss her issues with me in the room. When I got back to the office, I just close my office door and sobbed. Sometimes the road ahead just seems so overwhelming. I dreaded picking her up knowing that she might chose to remain totally withdrawn from me. The ride to school wasn't too bad. Then I went home and discussed the appt. with my husband (who was still too ill to attend). I could feel my own anxiety level really spiking. I asked my husband if he could take over for the evening, picking Abby up from play practice and spending the evening with her so I could get away. I went out to dinner and then to my mom's, where I just dissolved and then slept for a while. I got back home around 10:30 and sat down to read in my chair for awhile.Abby walked into the room and asked if she could sit on my lap. So we sat and had our second cuddle in a three day period. It was short, but I think it was her way of saying, "I know that you want to be there for me and I wish I could talk with you about this more easily."Thanksgiving at my mother's went well. But I know that it took a lot out of her. She headed for bed around 11:00, but was startled awake at midnight. The anxiety of this caused a stomach ache. I was still awake. She turned on the TV and I sat down to watch with her. Twice she suggested I head for bed. Each time I told her that I wasn't tired and wanted to watch TV. (While this was not entirely true, I could not leave her awake and alone at night...a very bad combo with depression.) About 1:00 AM when the show ended, she said, "I think I'm going to go to bed now mom. THANKS FOR STAYING UP WITH ME." I think she doesn't want to be a burden to us, but she is also afraid of her depression and what might happen.Thanks for listening (reading). I process by talking and since I'm not able to talk with most people about this, it helps to be able to share it with all of you.GwenYou may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the files, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Roman, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Gwen:

I'm so glad Abby was able to be home in time for Thanksgiving! I'm sure it's still very hard for her (and you), but it sounds like she's making good progress. I'm glad you found a way for a little me time, that's so important in order to keep everything going. Has she started the Wellbutrin yet? I hope it won't take too long to kick in. The days (and nights) just seem to drag when we're waiting for a new med to reach therapeutic levels. I also hope she'll be able to snuggle some more with you. Touch is an incredible healer.

We watched the video "X-Men" last night and one of the characters could not touch people without harming them. She was a young woman and so lonely and miserable. She made me think of Abby and how hard it is for her to be touched.

Reaching Out

The week has progressed well in most respects. Abby was released Monday night to day treatment. She is home in the evenings and at the hospital during the day. This has allowed her to continue her involvement in the school play. She has a major part and drama is one of the few things that keeps her going these days.She seems to want to stay very close to her dad and I. She has had her boyfriend over one night, but has not asked to go anywhere else but to stay at home with us. I know she wants us to be there to keep her safe!I was able to express in the meeting with she and the Social Worker, that there is nothing she can ever do, think, say, etc. that would ever cause me to quit being there for her! I also explained that I can separate who she is from the OCD. I'm not sure that even she is able to do this yet. When she has a terrible thought, I'm afraid she is blaming herself for being bad. At some point I want her to know that we understand the OCD "monster" and know it is not her. I know she is afraid that if we know everything, we will not be able to handle it and will abandon her.Tuesday after the meeting with the Social Worker in the morning, I could tell that Abby was very stressed. She always is when forced to discuss her issues with me in the room. When I got back to the office, I just close my office door and sobbed. Sometimes the road ahead just seems so overwhelming. I dreaded picking her up knowing that she might chose to remain totally withdrawn from me. The ride to school wasn't too bad. Then I went home and discussed the appt. with my husband (who was still too ill to attend). I could feel my own anxiety level really spiking. I asked my husband if he could take over for the evening, picking Abby up from play practice and spending the evening with her so I could get away. I went out to dinner and then to my mom's, where I just dissolved and then slept for a while. I got back home around 10:30 and sat down to read in my chair for awhile.Abby walked into the room and asked if she could sit on my lap. So we sat and had our second cuddle in a three day period. It was short, but I think it was her way of saying, "I know that you want to be there for me and I wish I could talk with you about this more easily."Thanksgiving at my mother's went well. But I know that it took a lot out of her. She headed for bed around 11:00, but was startled awake at midnight. The anxiety of this caused a stomach ache. I was still awake. She turned on the TV and I sat down to watch with her. Twice she suggested I head for bed. Each time I told her that I wasn't tired and wanted to watch TV. (While this was not entirely true, I could not leave her awake and alone at night...a very bad combo with depression.) About 1:00 AM when the show ended, she said, "I think I'm going to go to bed now mom. THANKS FOR STAYING UP WITH ME." I think she doesn't want to be a burden to us, but she is also afraid of her depression and what might happen.Thanks for listening (reading). I process by talking and since I'm not able to talk with most people about this, it helps to be able to share it with all of you.GwenYou may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the files, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Roman, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Jule,

Thanks for posting. My comments follow.

> Gwen:

>

> My thoughts and heart are with you as you go through this very

> difficult time with Abby. Aiden, too, becomes highly anxious when

> forced to discuss his ocd Os and Cs. Unfortunately, it took us 2

> years to find a therapist that has been able to help him to

> confront and name his Os, and to help us as a family know

> how to help him confront and name them. He became very angry with

> all of us, and continues to try to avoid facing ocd head on, but he

> knows that we will be there to help him fight and he has improved

> more in the past couple of months than in the previous two years.

> I say that because he is now learning that he can take control back

> over his life, which I don't think he ever felt he could do before.

I am SOOOOOO glad for Aiden! I know that Abby wants to be able

to " take control back over her life " . Now that I understand the

anger, it is so much easier to take. Anger at OCD (or any illness)

often gets thrown back at those loved ones who are trying desparately

to help. I'm seeing the same thing with Abby. Now that she knows we

are willing to be there to help her fight, she seems to be " trusting "

us more than we have seen for a long, long time.

> I have broken down a couple of times, and I do escape when I can to

> visit friends. The friendships I have made on this list are deep.

> I am also actively involved in my local NAMI affiliate. I would

> certainly recommend finding a group near you. You can do this

> through the nami.org website. If they offer it, you and your

> husband should take the Hand to Hand course. It's free and

> taught by other parents/family members of the mentally ill. I

> teach the Family to Family course which is for family members of

> adults with mental illness. Hand to Hand is for parents of children

> under 18.

I appreciate your suggestion about becoming involved with our local

NAMI affiliate. I believe they offer these courses and that it would

be good for my husband and I to attend. Once Abby is stable and able

to be home alone, we will have to consider it. For now, I'm with

you, this list has been my lifeline during these trying times.

Thanks for your words of encouragement!

Gwen

[Guest guest]

Jule,

Thanks for posting. My comments follow.

> Gwen:

>

> My thoughts and heart are with you as you go through this very

> difficult time with Abby. Aiden, too, becomes highly anxious when

> forced to discuss his ocd Os and Cs. Unfortunately, it took us 2

> years to find a therapist that has been able to help him to

> confront and name his Os, and to help us as a family know

> how to help him confront and name them. He became very angry with

> all of us, and continues to try to avoid facing ocd head on, but he

> knows that we will be there to help him fight and he has improved

> more in the past couple of months than in the previous two years.

> I say that because he is now learning that he can take control back

> over his life, which I don't think he ever felt he could do before.

I am SOOOOOO glad for Aiden! I know that Abby wants to be able

to " take control back over her life " . Now that I understand the

anger, it is so much easier to take. Anger at OCD (or any illness)

often gets thrown back at those loved ones who are trying desparately

to help. I'm seeing the same thing with Abby. Now that she knows we

are willing to be there to help her fight, she seems to be " trusting "

us more than we have seen for a long, long time.

> I have broken down a couple of times, and I do escape when I can to

> visit friends. The friendships I have made on this list are deep.

> I am also actively involved in my local NAMI affiliate. I would

> certainly recommend finding a group near you. You can do this

> through the nami.org website. If they offer it, you and your

> husband should take the Hand to Hand course. It's free and

> taught by other parents/family members of the mentally ill. I

> teach the Family to Family course which is for family members of

> adults with mental illness. Hand to Hand is for parents of children

> under 18.

I appreciate your suggestion about becoming involved with our local

NAMI affiliate. I believe they offer these courses and that it would

be good for my husband and I to attend. Once Abby is stable and able

to be home alone, we will have to consider it. For now, I'm with

you, this list has been my lifeline during these trying times.

Thanks for your words of encouragement!

Gwen

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for your concern. I think the Wellbutrin has started to " kick

in " . Tonight when I picked Abby up from day treatment, she was

incredibly open and willing to talk. She had shared her life story

in group therapy. She told me how frustrating it is that other kids

don't understand how difficult it is to have thoughts repeating over

and over and over in your brain, not once or twice, but continuously

hour after hour, day after day. She told me she HATES kids that

don't seem to get things at a deeper level. I asked her if maybe the

emotion she was feeling was more frustration, rather than hate. She

agreed that was probably more acurate.

We talked about how we both have trouble starting projects if we

don't feel like we have time to complete them thoroughly. I

mentioned how my bedroom needed a real " going over " . She said hers

did, too. She suggested that we both work on our rooms at the same

time. I suggested that we " help " one another. She agreed. Up until

now, she did not want me to help her with anything, particularly

cleaning her room.

I could not believe how open and transparent she was being. It seems

like everytime I take a real stand to let her know that I am with her

no matter what, she literally melts with relief knowing she is not

fighting this battle alone.

I hope things are going well for you! Thanks for your posts, they

mean so much to me.

Gwen

> Gwen:

> I'm so glad Abby was able to be home in time for Thanksgiving! I'm

sure it's still very hard for her (and you), but it sounds like she's

making good progress. I'm glad you found a way for a little me time,

that's so important in order to keep everything going. Has she

started the Wellbutrin yet? I hope it won't take too long to kick

in. The days (and nights) just seem to drag when we're waiting for a

new med to reach therapeutic levels. I also hope she'll be able to

snuggle some more with you. Touch is an incredible healer.

> We watched the video " X-Men " last night and one of the characters

could not touch people without harming them. She was a young woman

and so lonely and miserable. She made me think of Abby and how hard

it is for her to be touched.

>

[Guest guest]

Gwen,

> I could feel my own anxiety level really spiking. I asked my

husband if he could take over for the evening, picking Abby up

from play practice and spending the evening with her so I could

get away. I went out to dinner and then to my mom's, where I

just dissolved and then slept for a while. I got back home

around 10:30 and sat down to read in my chair for awhile.<

How great of you to be able to recognize that you have your limits! Its

takes a lot to know when you have to delegate and disapear, I'm glad that

you have your mother so close for your own comfort. There is nothing like

unconditional love.

>Abby walked into the room and asked if she could sit on my lap.

So we sat and had our second cuddle in a three day period.<

Sigh. The lack of physical touch from our kids is so hard. I remember the

times that Tom would reach out to me and his touch was so precious and so

rare. Every now and then I'll touch his arm or shoulder and it feels sooo

good!! *w*

> " I think I'm going to go to bed now mom. THANKS FOR STAYING UP

WITH ME. " I think she doesn't want to be a burden to us, but

she is also afraid of her depression and what might happen.<

The simple gesture of company can mean so much. You are a terrific person

and a generous mom.

take care, wendy, in canada

________________________________________________________________________________\

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/24/00 6:44:16 PM Mountain Standard Time,

j.monnens@... writes:

<< You can do this through the nami.org website. If they offer

it, you and your husband should take the Hand to Hand course. It's free and

taught by other parents/family members of the mentally ill. I teach the

Family

to Family course which is for family members of adults with mental illness.

Hand to Hand is for parents of children under 18. >>

Jule,

can you provide more detail as to what Hand to Hand is? Please? THanks in

advance,

Jay in Colorado

[Guest guest]

Jay:

Here is the Hand to Hand info off the nami.ohio site.

Hand to Hand is an eight-week education

program designed to foster learning,

healing and empowerment among families of

children with emotional/mental/

neurobiological disorders This course,

developed by AMI of Greater Toledo, is

funded by a grant from ODMH and is taught

by professionals and family

members who are part of NAMI. The course

is similar to Family to Family in

structure and goals, with each week of the

curriculum dedicated to a particular

aspect of having a child with a mental

illness. Topics covered include:

understanding your child's diagnosis;

developing family coping skills;

counseling and therapy; medications;

special educational needs; and juvenile

justice and child protection

agencies.Guidance on locating appropriate support

and services within the community and

obtaining better mental health services

as well as advocacy for appropriate

federal and state policies are also

included. The course is free, but

registration is required. Contact Muriel

Jeffries at NAMI Ohio for further

information (1-800-686-2646).

To find out if your local affiliate offers it, go to the nami.org website and

click on affiliates. That way you can find out the contact person for the

Denver affiliate(s). Hope this helps.

Jule

[Guest guest]

please everyone,

i am reaching out to everyone who has a kid with precocious puberty. what is

actually helping? can it be reversed? please i am so new to this and so worried.

having to deal with this in my daughter as well my 3 year old with ASD is

overwhelming

catherine

[Guest guest]

>

> please everyone,

> i am reaching out to everyone who has a kid with precocious puberty. what is

actually helping? can it be reversed? please i am so new to this and so worried.

having to deal with this in my daughter as well my 3 year old with ASD is

overwhelming

> catherine

>

Calm down, there really is no need to worry. Whatever is causing it you will

figure it out and you can resolve it.

First, see a doctor about it. See what he says and get any testing done that he

feels is necessary. I would request an MRI of the brain to rule out rare causes

of this such as structural problems in the brain, or (VERY RARE) a tumour.

She needs a whole panel of hormone tests done to see where the underlying

problem is, and then you can work with an endocrinologist to suppress any excess

hormones.

It can be caused by an infection as well, so it may be smart to keep an eye out

for that possibility. Lyme disease can cause problems with th

hypothalamic-pituitary axis.

In summary here are some things that could be causing this:

* Most of the time there is no known cause, but you can supress the hormones

with drugs prescribed by an endocrinologist.

* An infection

* A genetic condition such as congenital adrenal hyperplasia

(Tests to run: Cortisol, aldosterone, 17-oh progesterone, 11-deoxycortisol)

(RARE)

* Brain tumor or ovarian tumor (VERY RARE)

(Get MRI)

So focus on antibacterial herbs such as OLE, grapefruit seed extract, oil of

oregano, etc.

Supplements that can reduce excess hormone levels include:

* DIM (Di-Indole Methane)

* Calcium D-Glucarate

* Indole-3-Carbinol

---These 3 supplements help get rid of any excess hormones in the body.

* Isocort (esp. if congential adrenal hyperplasia is the root cause)

Hope this helps some.