How to cope with normal? (when all you know is autism...)

[Guest guest]

I was discussing this with a friend who has experience in this area. And I

thought I would post about this, because it raises a difficult dilemma.

I only have one child, a son who is now 4 1/2. He regressed after a vaccine at

age one tipped his toxic load, and all of the other vaxes between then and 18

months completed the job (including a series of flu shots). In the ensuing 3

1/2 years, all we have known is autism. We know biomed, cleaning up our son's

gut, reducing the toxic exposures in his environment etc. It took until he was

2 to figure out what we were dealing with - then the biomed interventions, until

he was a little more than three to find our way to the AC protocol, and since

then chelation, 53 rounds. I don't know what normal is, all I know is autism,

pulling our child back out of the fog, the walking coma he has been in. We have

begged him repeatedly to use his words, connect to his environment, notice other

kids and people etc.

Several rounds ago, our son started to come back to us in the ways most parents

crave, connection to his world and others, lots of language. We envisioned only

good things from this, things like " mommy I love you " " let's play " expressing

his wishes. However, I think now of the adage: " be careful what you wish for,

you might get it " . Not to say we are unhappy, on the contrary, we are thrilled.

However- we have to learn to deal with : " Mommy, Grandma is old and slow. "

" Mommy, why is Aunt Lynn mean and fat? " How to explain, while these things may

be true, he should not say them? When presented with a lovely gfcf/sf meal: " I

want Chinese food " (which he hasn't had in over 2 years) or " I want to eat the

(non gfcf) buffalo wings Daddy has. " What to do when you say, no you can't have

those and a tantrum ensues? How to explain he can't have these? (Although

dietary infractions are not causing such a problem these days anymore) " I want

a toy now " when we enter a store, and when we say, ok, we have to wait, the

wailing, screaming, " I WANT A TOY NOW " I used my words, give it to me! How to

deal with a four year old who is touching and doing everything you don't want

him to? Before he was always pliable, and compliant, playing quietly in the

corner,never causing trouble, which we now understand, was not normal.

We feel like we are living with a stranger, a new person we are getting to know.

But sometimes, well, I feel like screaming " shut up, just shut up, you dwarf

demon! " But how can one in good conscience tell a child to be silent, who for

years was locked in a prison of silence and from whom we begged language, any

language? I am sure it is liberating for him to finally be able to communicate

and speak to others. Yet how to strike a balance? Recently we were in a burger

joint with an arcade. We were thrilled when our son went up to a group of

little girls and introduced himself, " Hi, my name is..., I am 4 1/2 " But then he

proceeded to tell a little girl who was sitting on a motorcycle ride, " Your turn

is over, my turn now " and proceeded to shove her to the ground and hop on.

I guess these lessons of sharing and turn taking and patience, are ones parents

with NT kids must have started to deal with at 2 and 3 years old. So we are

behind the eight ball for sure. And while we are starting to see lots of

" normal " , we are by no means there yet - potty training is still a challenge,

and there are other issues, but at least we are on the road to " normal " . But it

is a difficult balancing act for sure - how to encourage the " normal " behavior,

and the language, yet set limits. I guess we felt we would chelate and all would

be well, and fall right into place eventually, that chelation was the only hard

part, guess we figured wrong...

Anyway I wanted to share this, as I think it is an important issue. Maybe some

of you out there have encountered this, and may have some insight to share as

well.

Irene