Libido

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/99 1:14:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

mellillo1@... writes:

<< Every time I get the energy to make love I feel sick to my stomach and ache

all over and can't get out of bed the next day. My poor husband, I try not

to let him see how horrible I feel the next day, it would attack his Italian

ego! But do others feel differently than they used to? It has been 10

years with Lyme on and off. At first I thought it was just all the

anti-depressents that killed my drive. And now on Celexa it has come back.

But the act itself just makes me feel like I am in a major herx though I am

sure that it is not that. I know that oxygen kills the spirochete and maybe

the increased energy output kills off some but not enough to have a major

killoff.

Anyway, I have opened the can of worms. Anyone want to continue this line

of thought or am I getting too personal? >>

Sharon,

Not too personal for me. I have been going through exactly what you decribe.

In my case the drive is there but I get so incredibly ill for days and days

after sex. It is the worst I have ever felt in my life. I get terribly

nauseated and all my joints hurt, sometimes I can barely move off the bed for

a couple days afterwards and I get a terrible fever. I have had more trips to

the GYN than I care to think about and there is nothing else wrong except for

Lyme. I have had a hysterectomy a year ago because of Endometriosis and I

don't even have the organs in my body and the GYN has checked and there are

no infections of any kind - it is all just Lyme and it is one of the worst

parts of this illness. As long as I don't have sex - it keeps the worst

symptoms away. I have wondered if this is because Lyme is similiar to

Syphillis and the spirochettes converge in that area and if we have sex do

we stir them up and make them cirrculate more (??) OR - is it as you said -

the added oxygen from the " exercise " - because since Lyme I don't have any

other kind of exercise - so, sex is the only time I would get added oxygen.

I don't know about anyone else but I am practically afraid to attempt sex and

this is no way to live. When my signifigant other even gets in the mood - I

feel terror and have gotten to the point where I tell him , I don't want to

be sick for days so I'd rather not. The doctors have told me to abstain until

they can figure out why it's happening and as I said - I don't even have a

uterus or ovaries and no other infections so it has to be Lyme in my opinion

- How or Why or What the spirochetes are doing - I have no idea but it is

horrible. My GYN gave me Metrogel (Flagyl) cream - just incase it was some

sort of infection not showing up because he was at a loss as to what else to

do and when I used it one time my blood pressure dropped to 40/20 and I

passed out and upon waking in the Emergency room, I had the worst herx of my

life and was so dehydrated I was given 3 bags of saline in the ER and also

was admitted to the hospital for a week and they found no cause either,

other than Lyme !!- so,that leads me to believe that perhaps the spirochettes

converge in that area. What I would like to know - is there anyone who has

had problems in this area with Lyme and do these symptoms ever get better

or improve when Lyme is " cured " ???? I would love to hear from someone who

had similiar problems and can tell me it goes away. The thought of being like

this for the rest of my life is really terrible. Hope I haven't offended

anyone with this post and subject matter but this is really the worst trigger

of my symptoms and I think it's important in understanding Lyme and how it

works and what it can do. I would be interested in knowing if most with Lyme

CAN have normal sex lives and if some of us are the minority or if it could

be Ehrlichiosis or Babesia doing this ? Ihave not yet been tested for the

coinfections.

Jade

[Guest guest]

YOu know Jade... I used to feel just like you , and sometimes I still do.

After sex sometimes I feel totally wiped and achy all over. Especially the

muscles that I use the most.. but I have figured out that for me at least, it

is like starting a new workout program.. in the beginning you ache and hurt,

and can't get put of bed, but then the more you do it, it passes. Thats what

happened to me, I just kept working through the pain and kept doing it cuz I

couldn't stand the guilt anymore and quite frankly once I started and got

into it I didn't feel as bad, and now I only feel that way sometimes, when I

over due it ! Geeze this is getting a little personal : O Sorry guys

!!..Anyway, eventually the pain started becomming less & less painful and now

its pretty much okay the next day . I guess the trick is to keep doing it !

LOL Pass the initial " workout pain feeling phase of it " and then your in

good shape ! LOL But please don't blame me if you try it and it doesn't

work. YOu'd hate me but then .. your significant others will LOVE me !

LOL

I gotta get outta here ! : )

too embarassed to leave my name . LOL

[Guest guest]

And btw... I really didn't mean to make light of that situation.. I know how

serious a subject sex and intimacy is with lyme. That was just my experience,

so I hope I have not offended anyone !

[Guest guest]

I am so glad you opened this subject, Sharon. It has been over 6 years since

my husband has been affectionate with me in any sort of intimate way. There

is, of course, the extra weight gain brought on by Lyme and an inability to

exercise. Beyond that, there is the horrible lower back pain. My house

suffers, too, because I am unable to stand for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a

time. My husband does most of the housework around here, but I know he

subconsciously holds that against me. He'd never say it aloud, but all of the

above combine to make me completely repulsive to him (he'd deny that, too,

but still he doesn't touch me).

[Guest guest]

I'm in the same boat with you guys. I have sex, but

I'm not really into it. I do it so my hubby doesn't

feel bad. I try to do it when I have some energy, but

with 2 kids we can't just be intamate. A very odd

thing happened to me last night. I became very

neausous. I'm not sure if it is from the Lyme or the

meds or something I ate. It has never happened

before.

===

Have a Great Day!

Rev. Liz Kelso

**Powered by Jesus**

[Guest guest]

Hi and all,

I am reading the threads on sexual problems and I think all of us are having the

same problems. I think when I first became ill in '95 I went for a long stretch

without desiring any love making. By '96 when I switched to a Lyme doc I

discovered one of the meds I was taking for high Blood Pressure was affecting my

libido. By then my husband had withdrawn from me also. I finally confronted him

but not until '98 and now sure wish I had brought up these problems long before

that.

We have been married over 30 yrs. and I could not believe what was happening.

Instead of him talking things over with me, there was no communication. Finally

I started asking him questions and then writing him letters so that I could let

him know I missed the love, hugs and affection and sex that we once had. It has

helped with our communication. We are working on staying together now and doing

a little better. I have run thru the gamete of emotions; guilt, anger that he

was withdrawing from me, and now depression (because of losing what we once had

shared.) I think my LD scared him also and his way of dealing with the illness

was to ignore it and just when you need his support so much more.

His body heat eases my aches and pains. I have found that taking my pain med and

muscle relaxer helps before and after. Please discuss this with your doctor.

There may be something he can do to help. Side effects of some drug you are on

may be causing problems and could be adjusted. I always thought my marriage

could withstand anything. I still hold that belief, but you have to have

communication. And it was very hard for us to communicate after a certain point.

The letters I wrote did open the door as now he realizes and has a better

understanding of what I have been thinking and how LD took away from me.

Barb - MI

BLFITZMA@...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/99 8:20:30 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

BearyPrety@... writes:

<<

And btw... I really didn't mean to make light of that situation.. I know how

serious a subject sex and intimacy is with lyme. That was just my

experience,

so I hope I have not offended anyone !

>>

I hope I don't offend anyone either when I say this. Since I've been sick I

let my partner do most of the work.

Also embrassed but we are all adults and sex is an important issue in a

marriage or serious relationship

[Guest guest]

I wonder why couples don't investigate other means of intimacy than

intercourse. Penetration doesn't have to be THE way, does it?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/99 10:15:30 PM EST, lisa86@... writes:

<< I wonder why couples don't investigate other means of intimacy than

intercourse. Penetration doesn't have to be THE way, does it? >>

Sometimes other means take too long when your not feeling up to it I guess.

[Guest guest]

Re: [Lyme-aid] libido

>From: lisa86@...

>

>I wonder why couples don't investigate other means of intimacy than

>intercourse. Penetration doesn't have to be THE way, does it?

Yes, there are many other ways. My husband and I have investigated several.

I read part of this thread on line before getting back on the list. I too

have severe reactions to sexual intercourse. I always believed it was due

to other problems. But now I am beginning to understand the true nature of

many problems.

Right now nothing is happening due to my beasty-yeasty infx.

R.K. Rossi

mailto:rnrtechs@...

[Guest guest]

>From: lc lott <lclott@...>

>Hi all-

>The other issue is that sometimes the other person isnt happy without

>the actual act. I for one have not had a sex drive in so long i dont

>know what id do if i did have. That is causing alot of problems in my

>relationship as well as the other things that we all have to deal with.

>The mood swings,fatigue ect.

>I know its hard to go from a realtionship that was fullfilling in every

>way to one that is very unfullfilling in most ways. I guess this is

>another example of not knowing what its like until you are the one

>living it. I try to be attentive and cuddle but he always wants more

>and right now i dont have more to give.

> L(MI)

I think I am at the point of possibly having the energy but the desire is

not very intense. It comes and goes. Esp linked to over doing it in any

way. I need enough sleep. Can't do much in the morning. Can't do anything

late at night. So that leaves early evening. And of course that is not

always the most private time either.

R.K Rossi

mailto:rnrtechs@...

[Guest guest]

--- BearyPrety@... wrote:

> From: BearyPrety@...

>

> In a message dated 8/17/99 10:15:30 PM EST,

> lisa86@... writes:

>

> << I wonder why couples don't investigate other

> means of intimacy than

> intercourse. Penetration doesn't have to be THE

> way, does it? >>

> Sometimes other means take too long when your not

> feeling up to it I guess.

>

Hi all-

The other issue is that sometimes the other person isnt happy without

the actual act. I for one have not had a sex drive in so long i dont

know what id do if i did have. That is causing alot of problems in my

relationship as well as the other things that we all have to deal with.

The mood swings,fatigue ect.

I know its hard to go from a realtionship that was fullfilling in every

way to one that is very unfullfilling in most ways. I guess this is

another example of not knowing what its like until you are the one

living it. I try to be attentive and cuddle but he always wants more

and right now i dont have more to give.

L(MI)

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/99 8:19:42 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

BearyPrety@... writes:

<< I guess the trick is to keep doing it !

LOL Pass the initial " workout pain feeling phase of it " and then your in

good shape ! LOL But please don't blame me if you try it and it doesn't

work. YOu'd hate me but then .. your significant others will LOVE me !

LOL >>

LOL !!! reat idea though - certainly worth a try - if not then I guess I'll

join a nunnery LOL !!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/99 11:18:25 PM EST, rnrtechs@... writes:

<< I for one have not had a sex drive in so long i dont

>know what id do if i did have. That is causing alot of problems in my

>relationship as well as the other things that we all have to deal with. >>

Now I hope that this is not wayyyyyy too personal or that I offend anyone

with this email , but just trying to help. For those of you who just do not

have the drive.. have you tried... reading " special " kinds of books? or

" finding " the time and taking the time to dress up in nice lacey undies...

fixing your face .. or watchign a " special movie " with your significant

other? I know right now your probably saying .I have no time.. I am just not

up to it .. just not into it....I don't have it in me.. I dont feel

sexy..but you know.. at least for me.. forcing myself to dress up and fix my

face nicely put some perfume on .. watching a few movies with my hubby and

even when I am alone once in a while instead of reading so much abt lyme (

which is certainly a great thing, and we all need to do that ) I just took

time out to get re attuned to my sexual side.. and believe it or not.. It

sometimes can make you even feel so good abt yourself..it can bring you out

of your lyme funk sometimes.. its kind of like a little detourant .( I know I

spelled that wrong,Im sorry ) Lets face it our illness is very debilitating

and very depressing at times, how can we feel sexy and desirable if we are

always concentrating on our symptoms.. And GOD.. I do not mean that in a bad

way or to offend anyone..I say that as a fellow Lymie who can't help

concentrating on lyme most of the time also when I feel so sick .I'm just

trying to say that for me... I tried, for the sake of my marriage to take a

little extra time , to think about " sex " , to be more sexual.. and it wasn't

that difficult..once you get into it...you'd be surprised how things can

change. Not only in your marriage , but when you look at yourself as being

sexy in a mirror you do become sexy..and when you feel sexy .. its alot less

difficult sometimes to well, make love. This has got to be the hardest email

I have ever written , because I am just trying to explain my experience but

by the same token ..I know it is such a touchy subject and I really do not

want to offend anyone. I know how it is when your marriage is falling apart

not only because of lack of sex.. but like said the moodswings, anger,

guilt..and so many emotions.I went through that for a long time. Hated sex or

anythign that hd to do with it. When your so sick the LAST thing you want or

need is sex.. but you know sometimes the thing we need to make us feel close

and in touch with out significant others is SEX and the rest that goes along

with it.. the closeness, the cuddling..and when they are sexually fulfilled

they are less cranky : ) and everythign just seems to flow by much easily..

Lack of sex can make some men very cranky ! Sorry guys ! : )

Anyway . I think I have said enough : O YIKES.. SO I am out of here. : )

diana

[Guest guest]

Sharon and all,

Celexa has down the so opposite for me. Plus it isn't helping with my

depression, although I think it has helped with my yelling. I don't seem to

get as angry any more...but I am still in the tearfull moods...but about the

sex drive...well my husband use to not be able to handle and would beg for

less...well now he begs for more...I just can't anymore. Celexa has even

made it worse for me. It is so hard to get any pleasure any more....I love

my husband so much that I just smile and bear it. I hurt so bad during the

love making....I hurt worse now then when I was pregnant with my

twins...lol...does that tell you anything...even pregnant with twins we

could have a great intamacy life...and my doctor is thinking about uping my

dose of Celexa...and I am only on 10 mg. But I have gone from a high sex

drive to nothing. I just don't feel any more with it. What will uping it

do..Paxil did the same thing. It is so frustrating..but I talk to my doctor

about this..I guess he doesn't know how important it is to a married

couple...although he is married...He seems to think that I should be

grateful and that intamacy shouldn't be important to us. I want it back.

It was before the Celexa the one thing I could do for my husband. Wow...I

got personal...something in this area I don't do often..but it feels good to

express it.

Cyntha Landon Idaho

>From: " melillo " <mellillo1@...>

>Reply-lyme-aidonelist

><lyme-aidonelist>

>Subject: [Lyme-aid] libido

>Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 23:19:13 -0400

>

>From: " melillo " <mellillo1@...>

>

>OK, Margie touched on a subject I have been chewing on for the past month.

>How has Lyme changed our relationships with our significant other? My

>husband is wonderful and very patient with us all BUT....

>Every time I get the energy to make love I feel sick to my stomach and ache

>all over and can't get out of bed the next day. My poor husband, I try not

>to let him see how horrible I feel the next day, it would attack his

>Italian

>ego! But do others feel differently than they used to? It has been 10

>years with Lyme on and off. At first I thought it was just all the

>anti-depressents that killed my drive. And now on Celexa it has come back.

>But the act itself just makes me feel like I am in a major herx though I am

>sure that it is not that. I know that oxygen kills the spirochete and

>maybe

>the increased energy output kills off some but not enough to have a major

>killoff.

>Anyway, I have opened the can of worms. Anyone want to continue this line

>of thought or am I getting too personal? I just want to be normal in this

>area, it is hard enough on my hubbie with all of us so sick and me not

>being

>able to do anything a wife should be doing around here. Can't I atleast

>enjoy sex!!!!

>Sharon

>

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

i think i have come in in the middle of a thread ...put will put in my 2

cents worth.....some of u will remember that the wife and i were ready to

split prior to my vacation....we are still trying to work on it being away

has helped in that when we are together mostly we get along.......yes there

are many other ways other than actual intercourse that can be satisfying to

bothn .....remember the biggest sex organ is the

brain......movies,books,lingerie cqan be exciting for both couples and hey we

all have computers go on one of the " sexy " chat sites together...believe me

it works......our disease tires us both physically and mentally .....plus

dpression and paintake away alot of our endorphin rush......i have even gone

online to some of these rooms alone....when i can not slepp and the wife is

asleep.......i get stimulated than retire to bed and wake her up in some

erotic ways( i hope no one gets offended but this is a big problem for those

of us with lyme.....especially males who have a hard time faking excitement )

shared sexual fantasies also work to stimulate.....

also one of the best is " making out " like we use to do prior to

marrying.......wait till dark......get in the back seat of the car......in

the driveway and kiss and carress.....

it works believe me.....plus i have found out that i must discuss my fears

about lyme with her.......and what it has caused me to stop doing......my

father in law was just here.....he is thinking of buying another

business.....wants me to manage it......would be great but i know i would not

last .......be able to do the hours ........i am fooling myself to say i

could i have tried before and failed......it sucks......told him i could

voersee from home and help out when up 2 it.....not even worried about losing

my ssd.....its just that i have tried before when i " feel good " then end up

in bed for a month or 2 from pushing myself......those of u that still work i

don't know how u survive it.....exaustion stress ect.......well i hope some

of what i say helps......

god bless

Reid

[Guest guest]

Uh, so Reid .... if it doesn't work out, will you marry me?

Just kidding, but it's great to hear from a man who realizes how much effort

must go into a relationship! Thanks for writing.

[Guest guest]

sure anna,

sometimes it feels like i am the only one working on this

relationship......but thats another story......the things that disease has

put me and my family thru in the 10 years that i have had it......especially

the last 3 years being tottally disabled by it, and waiting on ssd, and other

things to come thru has defianatly changed much about me and my wife

,,,,,,somethings that i am not quite sure will ever return .......romance is

one of them.....lyme has taken so much from us , fianancially, emotionally

,and physically.....tyhat i feel alot shall not return .......i am trying to

make it work now and and seeing her only on weekends for 6 weeks

helped......that we may seperate.....who knows .......i am so sick of being

sick and just want a little happiness in my life once again.....is that to

much to ask?????? oh well.....i am only back on line cause things are a

little " chilly " upstqairs.....maybe i have been home to long( 7 days) time

to leave again i guess......

Reid

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/99 7:19:46 AM Central Daylight Time,

BearyPrety@... writes:

<< After sex sometimes I feel totally wiped and achy all over. Especially the

muscles that I use the most >>

In a lighter vein....

The above sentence sort of reminds me of good sex

[Guest guest]

Darn! I missed most of this since I was out of town a few days.

Being a male. this is been tough for me. Since I overanalyze, this is my

thought process.

1. Lyme Disease, the disease itself, has definitely reduced my libido.

Even when I first started getting sick and didn't know what was going

on, I had a steady sexual relationship. After i got *much* sicker and it

really hit me, I was still friends with this person. I told her about my

loss of libido, and she told me that it was apparent to her even when I

wasn't very sick. Whatever Lyme does to adrenal system or our immune system,

I am absolutely convinced this is one cause of my loss of libido.

2. I have no stamina whatsoever from a complete lack of aeorbic excercise.

This has been a big problem when I *do* try to have intercourse.

3. Hey, this kills your self-esteem, the brain " the biggest sex organ " , as

someone else mentioned. You have no self-confidence (let's see, lost my job,

career, chronic illness, uncertain future, etc). It is a lot easier to have

sex when you feel good about yourself.

4. Relationship with spouse. The problems that we have with the illness and

all the other problems it creates makes it hard to be intimate, and I mean

that emotionally and physically. My spouse has lost a lot of interest and is

not willing to work very hard at trying to make a sexual relationship happen.

All of these factors combined make for a very poor sex life on my part. If

some of these problems could be resolved, things would improve to a degree.

That about covers it for me.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/24/99 6:29:56 AM Central Daylight Time,

mlmccoy@... writes:

<< You brought up lots of good points and the only thing

I can suggest is you could try Viagra, have you talked to your doctor about

this?

I have and did get a prescription but that is only a minor part of the

problem. I think the fatigue, stamina, and mental part make more of an

impact. As they say, Viagra is more about the mechanics. It does nothing to

create libido.

=====================================================

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is this, when I feel

well enough (usually after pain pills) I will approach him for sex, I

actually find it is therapeutic for me too. I don't always enjoy it or

reach orgasm, but I love him and want him to be happy. I think it is

important to try, what's the saying, " Use it or lose it. " I find this is

true, and if it has been a few weeks since we have been intimate, and it is

enjoyable for both of us, I often say, " Why don't we do this more often???! "

>>

I think your point is well taken. It is one of those things that, after a

while, you just forget or stop doing. I believe this probably happens to

most married couples who are healthy and the marriage " newness " wears off and

other responsibilities crowd out personal time. But it does happen to us

sickies also and, though I say my wife lacks initiative, I am also guilty of

the same. But here lack of enthusiasm most of the time sort of makes me

think, " Well, I could just try organizing my medical files with that energy. "

Fifteen years ago, had I made such a statement, I would have had myself sent

to the nearest mental health center.

[Guest guest]

Hi Golfdawg,

I missed this topic too, as I was off-line when it was discussed, I did

read a bit of it in the archives, and I sure do identify too. I really

empathize more with the guys suffering from Lyme disease and loss of libido,

then I do for myself. You brought up lots of good points and the only thing

I can suggest is you could try Viagra, have you talked to your doctor about

this?

Being a woman, I have it much easier, plus my husband is 10 years older

than I am, (he would kill me if he knew I wrote this) and his sex drive is

waning. A man has a harder job of it, he has to be ready for sex, a woman

just has to be receptive. Since I became ill, I have worried about

leaving me although this worry has been pretty much unfounded. We will be

married 23 years in October, and he is a good and caring guy, he often

reassures me by reminding me that it could have been he that was sick, would

I leave him? Anyway, the point I am trying to make is this, when I feel

well enough (usually after pain pills) I will approach him for sex, I

actually find it is therapeutic for me too. I don't always enjoy it or

reach orgasm, but I love him and want him to be happy. I think it is

important to try, what's the saying, " Use it or lose it. " I find this is

true, and if it has been a few weeks since we have been intimate, and it is

enjoyable for both of us, I often say, " Why don't we do this more often???! "

Gee, I hope I wasn't too graphic here, this sure is a hard area to

discuss.

Hugs to all,

Marta

>From: Golfdawg@...

>

>Darn! I missed most of this since I was out of town a few days.

>

>Being a male. this is been tough for me. Since I overanalyze, this is my

>thought process.

>

>1. Lyme Disease, the disease itself, has definitely reduced my libido.

>Even when I first started getting sick and didn't know what was going

>on, I had a steady sexual relationship. After i got *much* sicker and it

>really hit me, I was still friends with this person. I told her about my

>loss of libido, and she told me that it was apparent to her even when I

>wasn't very sick. Whatever Lyme does to adrenal system or our immune

system,

>I am absolutely convinced this is one cause of my loss of libido.

>

>2. I have no stamina whatsoever from a complete lack of aeorbic

excercise.

>This has been a big problem when I *do* try to have intercourse.

>

>3. Hey, this kills your self-esteem, the brain " the biggest sex organ " ,

as

>someone else mentioned. You have no self-confidence (let's see, lost my

job,

>career, chronic illness, uncertain future, etc). It is a lot easier to

have

>sex when you feel good about yourself.

>

>4. Relationship with spouse. The problems that we have with the illness

and

>all the other problems it creates makes it hard to be intimate, and I mean

>that emotionally and physically. My spouse has lost a lot of interest and

is

>not willing to work very hard at trying to make a sexual relationship

happen.

>

>All of these factors combined make for a very poor sex life on my part. If

>some of these problems could be resolved, things would improve to a degree.

>

>That about covers it for me.

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi Golfdawg,

I did not realize that the Viagra worked that way, only good for the

mechanics, not the mental part needed. I should have realized about the

stamina part. I am wrong to assume that everyone else has small bursts of

energy like I do. I grab them when I can, if you don' t have a willing

partner, that is a major problem. I just have never been the type to turn my

husband down, if he was interested, no matter how bad I feel, I figure he

can do most of the work and I enjoy the closeness. It is a tough problem

for all of us to have to deal with.

Best to you,

Marta NJ

-

>From: Golfdawg@...

>

>In a message dated 8/24/99 6:29:56 AM Central Daylight Time,

>mlmccoy@... writes:

>

><< You brought up lots of good points and the only thing

> I can suggest is you could try Viagra, have you talked to your doctor

about

> this?

>

>I have and did get a prescription but that is only a minor part of the

>problem. I think the fatigue, stamina, and mental part make more of an

>impact. As they say, Viagra is more about the mechanics. It does nothing

to

>create libido.

>=====================================================

> Anyway, the point I am trying to make is this, when I feel

> well enough (usually after pain pills) I will approach him for sex, I

> actually find it is therapeutic for me too. I don't always enjoy it or

> reach orgasm, but I love him and want him to be happy. I think it is

> important to try, what's the saying, " Use it or lose it. " I find this is

> true, and if it has been a few weeks since we have been intimate, and it

is

> enjoyable for both of us, I often say, " Why don't we do this more

often???! "

>>>

>

>I think your point is well taken. It is one of those things that, after a

>while, you just forget or stop doing. I believe this probably happens to

>most married couples who are healthy and the marriage " newness " wears off

and

>other responsibilities crowd out personal time. But it does happen to us

>sickies also and, though I say my wife lacks initiative, I am also guilty

of

>the same. But here lack of enthusiasm most of the time sort of makes me

>think, " Well, I could just try organizing my medical files with that

energy. "

>

>Fifteen years ago, had I made such a statement, I would have had myself

sent

>to the nearest mental health center.

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

melillo wrote:

>

> From: " melillo " <mellillo1@...>

>

> OK, Margie touched on a subject I have been chewing on for the past month.

> How has Lyme changed our relationships with our significant other? My

> husband is wonderful and very patient with us all BUT....

> Every time I get the energy to make love I feel sick to my stomach and ache

> all over and can't get out of bed the next day. My poor husband, I try not

> to let him see how horrible I feel the next day, it would attack his Italian

> ego! But do others feel differently than they used to? It has been 10

> years with Lyme on and off. At first I thought it was just all the

> anti-depressents that killed my drive. And now on Celexa it has come back.

> But the act itself just makes me feel like I am in a major herx though I am

> sure that it is not that. I know that oxygen kills the spirochete and maybe

> the increased energy output kills off some but not enough to have a major

> killoff.

> Anyway, I have opened the can of worms. Anyone want to continue this line

> of thought or am I getting too personal? I just want to be normal in this

> area, it is hard enough on my hubbie with all of us so sick and me not being

> able to do anything a wife should be doing around here. Can't I atleast

> enjoy sex!!!!

> Sharon

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

sharon...can we enjoy......yes for the time it happens....everbody bear with

me tonite please ....a little buzzed from booze( a no-no...but) grasnpa died

this morning ...(depressing ) i was beet since the phone woke me up at 8

am......wanted to sleep all day and did al sorts of funeral arraingements

ect....so bear with me.......like i sad with legal and illegal pain

killers...we can enjoy what we want as long as we are willing to pay the

price( wife i pissed cause i am buzzed ...oh well ....i had to do what i had

to do to do what i had to do.....) confused ...yes but its true,,,plan for

today was: sleep read papers...watch tv.......cause i have felt like crap for

2 days thanks to weather.......reality: phone rang(8am) mom....thinks granpas

dead....get there rite away....10 minutes.....dont ask what i was

wearing....after leaving my 2 kids by themselves( wife shooping) telling 11

yo her favorite pop-pop-oprobablky is dead....and trying to get someone to

stay with them.....yep dead.....call 911....funeral director( afirend) ad

wait.....set up everything ....million calls and then go see nephew paly

f'ball hes 12.....had a few beers....oh well....check net...cause my future

nephew races bggn cars....( big time racing ) answer mail and listen to a mad

wife.......

couch time.......hate to bitch but has been the day from hell......just

disregard me today ok......pity pot time....bad day....what ever......love u

all....but need to vent......have been dealing with grandma(90) and mom (70 )

all day....arghhhhhhhh

Reid