HELP...WORK, ADVICE PLEASE!!!

June 3, 2003

I missed work yesterday because of the MRI ordeal. They wouldn't let me drive

because they gave me a sedative that didn't even work. My boss wasn't angry but

she mentioned that I could " make it up " since one of the girls needs off Fri. to

move.

The problem is that my doc said I could work 4 hrs a day. I have been working

4.5 and that has been pushing me to my limit. Actually, I am way past my limit.

Fri. is my off day and I don't mind working at all for 4-5 hrs. but she wants me

to stay for 8.5 hrs. I can hardly make it through what I am doing now. When

she told me that I actually felt sick to my stomach. My heart won't stop

racing. I feel like I can't breathe. On the ride home I broke down. I have

been hysterically bawling my eyes out and I can't stop. I feel like something

in me has snapped. I am in so much pain that I feel like life just isn't worth

living in more. I would never do anything to harm myself but sometimes I feel

like I should just be put out of my misery. I really don't know what to do. I

don't mean to be a cry baby but I am completely overwhelmed.

The only reason I took this job was because of the hours. I'm not making any

money and it isn't even worth the 1 hr. commute each way. I am terrified if I

tell my boss that I can't work more than 4 or 5 hours a day that they might fire

me since I wouldn't be flexible. I also feel guilty about it. I want to help

out but physically I just can't. I could try to make it through the 8.5 hrs but

right now I am in so much pain I can hardly move. I even dread going in to work

tomorrow for my normal shift. Any advice on handling this situation would be

greatly appreciated. Should I tell her I can't work more than 4 hrs. per my

doctor's limitations or just bite the bullet?

am seeing my GP on thurs. to discuss disability. I have reached that point...

[Ed. Note: If I were you, I would tell her that I can't work a full 8 hour day

because I'm in such terrible pain all the time. If you try to put the " blame "

off on your doctor, it may sound like you're trying to shirk your job. I know

that when I finally realized I couldn't continue to work 8 hour days (actually 9

hours including lunch) and accepted that fact, I went to my supervisor and just

told him about the type of arthritis I have (he was already aware of it because

I had mentioned it before), and told him that my health was more important than

my job or my salary, and that I had to cut back my hours to half-time because I

had no other choice. I also told him that I wanted easy non-stressful

assignments even though I knew it would mean lesser (if any) raises for me. For

me, the whole thing is about priorities. When you finally realize that your

health and happiness is paramount to EVERYTHING else, including money, it's like

an epiphany and it changed my entire outlook on things. I no longer feel guilty

about having PA because there's nothing I can do about it other than what I'm

already doing. Of course the anti-depressant Celexa helps a lot too. ;-) Ron]

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