RE: Venting..

[Guest guest]

Dear , I'm so sorry to hear about your break in. It is hard to

understand how someone could steal medication from the sick. That just goes

to show you how desperate some people can get in their lives. I'm glad you

had insurance to replace everything, but sorry about the co-pays. I know

those can add up these days. At least they took things that could be

replaced, not that anything helps much at the time.

I'm sure it's more the violation of someone being in your home that bothers

you the most. I know it would me. Have you considered installing one of

those home alarms? I think I would feel better especially if the police

feel the person must know you and that you are ill. I wonder if they have

traced it back to the pharmacy in anyway? They are the most likely place

for your medications to be known, not that they are guilty or anything.

You have the right idea not to let it upset you too much, but I know that

would be really hard too. I wish I had some great advice or something

wonderful to say. I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry you have to deal

with this on top of having PA. I hope they catch the person and you don't

have to worry anymore. Take care of yourself and keep busy. Love, Fran

[ ] Venting..

I hope you all don't mind too much, but I really need to vent. My

house was broken into on Tuesday afternoon. The only thing they

took...my meds! Broke the back door, pulled everything out of my

drawers - left my jewlery (thank goodness) but took all the

medication. I can understand the pain meds, but they took the

methrotrexate and sulfasalazine! They even took the dogs

antibiotics (I hope they take a handful of that). Didn't think to

look in the fridge so the Humira is still here. Most disturbing is

the police said it must have been someone who knew I was sick and

knew I would have drugs - they just took all of it and figured they

would sort it out later. How desperate do you have to be to steal

medication from someone who is sick??? I was able to re-fill most

of them, but I had to shell out the the co-pays again. I am going

to have to call the Rheum and explain why I need new prescriptions

for the rest. I am trying not to be too upset since stress makes

the PA worse, but I am not doing well at it.

OK, vent over. Sorry all, but I knew you guys would understand.

[Guest guest]

, that is horrible! What's done is done but how can you prevent it in

the future? If the police or the pharmacist give you any ideas on prevention I

would be very interested. I don't live in an area that has much crime so I

never give home security much thought but your news has me rethinking that

attitude. Please keep us posted. And, again, I'm so sorry that you and your

home were so violated. Cheri

bearsyisalady <heatherfitz@...> wrote:

I hope you all don't mind too much, but I really need to vent. My

house was broken into on Tuesday afternoon. The only thing they

took...my meds! Broke the back door, pulled everything out of my

drawers - left my jewlery (thank goodness) but took all the

medication. I can understand the pain meds, but they took the

methrotrexate and sulfasalazine! They even took the dogs

antibiotics (I hope they take a handful of that). Didn't think to

look in the fridge so the Humira is still here. Most disturbing is

the police said it must have been someone who knew I was sick and

knew I would have drugs - they just took all of it and figured they

would sort it out later. How desperate do you have to be to steal

medication from someone who is sick??? I was able to re-fill most

of them, but I had to shell out the the co-pays again. I am going

to have to call the Rheum and explain why I need new prescriptions

for the rest. I am trying not to be too upset since stress makes

the PA worse, but I am not doing well at it.

OK, vent over. Sorry all, but I knew you guys would understand.

[Guest guest]

That's awful. That's about as low.... take care . Thanks

for sharing it with us.

>

>

> I hope you all don't mind too much, but I really need to vent. My

> house was broken into on Tuesday afternoon. The only thing they

> took...my meds! Broke the back door, pulled everything out of my

> drawers - left my jewlery (thank goodness) but took all the

> medication. I can understand the pain meds, but they took the

> methrotrexate and sulfasalazine! They even took the dogs

> antibiotics (I hope they take a handful of that). Didn't think to

> look in the fridge so the Humira is still here. Most disturbing is

> the police said it must have been someone who knew I was sick and

> knew I would have drugs - they just took all of it and figured they

> would sort it out later. How desperate do you have to be to steal

> medication from someone who is sick??? I was able to re-fill most

> of them, but I had to shell out the the co-pays again. I am going

> to have to call the Rheum and explain why I need new prescriptions

> for the rest. I am trying not to be too upset since stress makes

> the PA worse, but I am not doing well at it.

> OK, vent over. Sorry all, but I knew you guys would understand.

>

[Guest guest]

---

Hi ,

I am so sorry about all your meds being taken, I agree with the

Police-they must have been watching or somehow noticed you having PA

and knew you would have meds-terrible people!! I read in a magazine

that people will even go through people's garbage to get the used

pain patches!! I can't believe how people can be. I hope you get

your meds refilled okay. Prayers to you.

God Bless, Sue.

In , " bearsyisalady "

<heatherfitz@r...> wrote:

>

>

> I hope you all don't mind too much, but I really need to vent. My

> house was broken into on Tuesday afternoon. The only thing they

> took...my meds! Broke the back door, pulled everything out of my

> drawers - left my jewlery (thank goodness) but took all the

> medication. I can understand the pain meds, but they took the

> methrotrexate and sulfasalazine! They even took the dogs

> antibiotics (I hope they take a handful of that). Didn't think to

> look in the fridge so the Humira is still here. Most disturbing is

> the police said it must have been someone who knew I was sick and

> knew I would have drugs - they just took all of it and figured they

> would sort it out later. How desperate do you have to be to steal

> medication from someone who is sick??? I was able to re-fill most

> of them, but I had to shell out the the co-pays again. I am going

> to have to call the Rheum and explain why I need new prescriptions

> for the rest. I am trying not to be too upset since stress makes

> the PA worse, but I am not doing well at it.

> OK, vent over. Sorry all, but I knew you guys would understand.

>

[Guest guest]

, am so sorry about the meds being taken! It does sound like it

was someone who knew you were sick and had a good amount of medication.

Good luck getting them refilled.

Carla

---

Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

Version: 6.0.796 / Virus Database: 540 - Release Date: 11/13/2004

[Guest guest]

Awwww , that sucks. Stupid theives. What are they going to do, think

they're going to get high off the meds? What a surprise they'll get!! Karma

will get them hon, don't you worry. Vent all you need to.

Love and light..

Crystal

>From: " bearsyisalady " <heatherfitz@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: [ ] Venting..

>Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 01:07:28 -0000

>

>

>

>I hope you all don't mind too much, but I really need to vent. My

>house was broken into on Tuesday afternoon. The only thing they

>took...my meds! Broke the back door, pulled everything out of my

>drawers - left my jewlery (thank goodness) but took all the

>medication. I can understand the pain meds, but they took the

>methrotrexate and sulfasalazine! They even took the dogs

>antibiotics (I hope they take a handful of that). Didn't think to

>look in the fridge so the Humira is still here. Most disturbing is

>the police said it must have been someone who knew I was sick and

>knew I would have drugs - they just took all of it and figured they

>would sort it out later. How desperate do you have to be to steal

>medication from someone who is sick??? I was able to re-fill most

>of them, but I had to shell out the the co-pays again. I am going

>to have to call the Rheum and explain why I need new prescriptions

>for the rest. I am trying not to be too upset since stress makes

>the PA worse, but I am not doing well at it.

>OK, vent over. Sorry all, but I knew you guys would understand.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Fran,

I can relate so well. Have a wonderful holiday season in through all the chaos.

Best Wishes for the New Year too!!!!

Rhonda

[Guest guest]

Oh, Fran. Hang in there. I understand.

Now you've got me thinking about putting up my tree.

Mike is out of town until the 20th, and I had planned

to get the tree up before he got home. Now I'm

realizing that means dragging the tree parts up from

the basement one at a time, because I'd never be able

to get the whole thing up the stairs at once by

myself. And the ornaments, too, one armload at a

time, because they're stored in containers that are

too bulky for me to manage on my own now. (Hmmm... how

many trips up and down the basement stairs am I

willing/able to make...maybe I'll just buy new

ornaments and save myself a few trips. <G>)

PS: A Star Trek tree? I LOVE IT! You and I probably

have more in common than just PA.

--

=====

--------------------------

Stein

www.noblefusion.com/astein

If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself

If you want to be somebody else

Change your mind...

-- Sister Hazel

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Well, this mail from you officially brings me up to date. Da Daaaaaaaaa! A

belated welcome back to you. I wasn't here when you were with us before if it

was two years ago but it is obvious that the people that were here at that

time are glad to hear from you again and from your posts I can see why.

Sorry you had so much trouble with your Christmas lights. I am lucky in that

my wife usually does the Christmas tree. I was always pretty bad at it and

would be even worse now. I had enough trouble getting the stuff out of the

attic. I don't know how I managed it.

Well, between you, you and Fran gave me a good laugh although it will not

have been funny for you at the time. I think Fran should just have asked someone

to " Beam " her up when she was struggling with the Star Trek tree. lol

Hope to hear a lot more from you in the future.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

Hi Fran,

yet again, another things in common..... i have tried to hone down

your message (to help you kathy ((hugs)) ) but there are so many

similarities to what happened to me yesterday, after reading your

message fran i almost fell off my chair i was laughing so hard and

sharing) so much...

my day wasn't nearly as dramatic - i only have one tree - but after

moving furniture to fit the tree, vacuuming first, and then pushing

the box with the tree up the stairs (i forgot to get my husband to

bring stuff up from the basement and of course, my mind was willing,

so what if the ol' bod' was protesting) - i then had the exact same

thing happen with my lights. i had purchased 3 new boxes of 100-

strand end to end clear lights. i couldn't get them to all light

after spending over 2-1/2 hours trying to string the darned things -

and they had flashers on them - tried to put the spare clear lights

in but they were not all the same size (even though they came with

them!!!) and kept falling out - then 2 of the 3 new strands didn't

work - i tried everything i could think of - re-engaging the

electrical ends in different ways and was spitting bullets at the

danged brain fog - so frustrated that the ol' pea brain just doesn't

function! (how dare it) so in the end i took them all off and lay

them all on the floor around me - hooked them all up, end to end,

plugged them in, sat on the ground playing with the darned flasher

bulbs and in a fit of frustration, trashed the two new sets and had

to end up using coloured lights from previous years on what was to be

my all clear-lit xmas tree! after getting them all lit i wasn't

taking any chances so pussy-footed around the tree with 500+ lights

lit around my feet and finally, after another 2 hours strung the

tree. then came all my red and gold beads, and my 8 rolls of

glittery wired ribbon that i 'wove' through the branches and then 32

years of very special xmas balls.... 9 hours later (after many rest

periods) the tree was done... but i was by this time in excruciating

pain and spent the evening bundled up in electric throw blankies and

fleece blankies with a mug of hot cranberry cider and some favourite

xmas movies to keep me company. i feel 110 this morning and i have

to still do my Dickens Village, the boughs and lights around the

windows, up the stairwell.... decorate my wax candle chandelier....

but i had no fallen angel (poor thing) and no star trek tree... but

it was frustrating to say the least.

pat, same thing with drop-itis! guess that goes with the territory.

one last thing - my tree, it sure is purty!!!

love, karen

>

>> I've always loved Christmas. Just ask my poor husband when he

brings home the many boxes of decorations I've collected over the

years.

I changed the lights on that one tree alone 6 times...Either half the

> strand didn't work, the new lights we just bought didn't fit with

the

> ornaments bases

So frustrated, I moved on...to work my magic yet again. My back

was killing me when I got up, and of course I

> immediately lost my balance, reached out and knocked over the newly

> decorated tree.

the holidays do bring out some unusual emotions. I've decorated

> my trees alone for over 28 years and I hate to give it up or hand

it over to someone

At one point I was ready to just set fire to all the trees at

> once, but I figured that with my luck Smokey the Bear would come

along and

> make me put them all out, and then I would have guilt on top of my

mess.

>

> Merry Christmas everyone...Love, Fran

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/5/2004 9:06:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

fran@... writes:

The holidays seem to point out the passage of time and with that comes the

reality of our disease. It's not a pretty thing to have to face, no matter

what time of year it

HI Fran,

You certainly have a right to vent, after all you cheer all of us up all the

time when we vent to you. I love the holidays but dread them as well. They

are the toughest time of the year for those of us who are in pain and the

fatigue alone will overcome us. Between cooking, trying to shop, etc. it can

be overwhelming. My husband doesn't understand why I don't like to go get

the tree with him. It is usually below freezing here in NY when we go and the

places are outside. It takes him forever to decide which tree he likes. By

the time we are through, my joints are aching all over.

I think for as many problems you have, you do wonderful and much more then

many of us. You are always upbeat and you have a right to vent when needed.

Just remember we are here for you.

Janet

[Guest guest]

Dear , Thank God! I never purchased the Dickens Village set. I would

have had to have bought a gun with the set because that would have been the

end of me...lol. I've been known for my anger attacks at times,...lol..

Once when the girls were about 4 and 6 (very impressionable..lol) I got mad

at a plastic bowl that kept falling out of the cabinet. I mean 4 times is

my limit right? So I took a bunch of Tupperware and threw it all out in the

back yard. Of course, I had to go pick it up later, but it made me feel so

much better at time...lol. My girls still talk about that, like I was one

crazy Momma or something... Probably because I had taught them never to

throw things in anger and here I was pitching plastic egg cartons and cheese

holders out as fast as I could....lol.

Anyway, when I told my girls about my breaking down yesterday, there were

concerned. They said if I had thrown the tree into the pool, they would

have understood, but for me to just sit and cry it worried them...lol.

Then I had to convince both of them that I wasn't depressed and it was just

the pain and the frustration of the moment...so I'm not sure they are going

to hear about my breakdowns anymore. The last thing I want to do is worry

them more than I do now.

I'm sorry your day was a rough as mine. I managed to fix most of my

problems today. It's not perfect, but then neither am I so it works I

guess...lol. Hope you feel better soon sweetie. Love, Fran

----Original Message-----

From: [mailto:missionblondie@...]

Sent: Monday, December 06, 2004 1:18 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: VENTING..

Hi Fran,

yet again, another things in common..... i have tried to hone down

your message (to help you kathy ((hugs)) ) but there are so many

similarities to what happened to me yesterday, after reading your

message fran i almost fell off my chair i was laughing so hard and

sharing) so much...

my day wasn't nearly as dramatic - i only have one tree - but after

moving furniture to fit the tree, vacuuming first, and then pushing

the box with the tree up the stairs (i forgot to get my husband to

bring stuff up from the basement and of course, my mind was willing,

so what if the ol' bod' was protesting) - i then had the exact same

thing happen with my lights. i had purchased 3 new boxes of 100-

strand end to end clear lights. i couldn't get them to all light

after spending over 2-1/2 hours trying to string the darned things -

and they had flashers on them - tried to put the spare clear lights

in but they were not all the same size (even though they came with

them!!!) and kept falling out - then 2 of the 3 new strands didn't

work - i tried everything i could think of - re-engaging the

electrical ends in different ways and was spitting bullets at the

danged brain fog - so frustrated that the ol' pea brain just doesn't

function! (how dare it) so in the end i took them all off and lay

them all on the floor around me - hooked them all up, end to end,

plugged them in, sat on the ground playing with the darned flasher

bulbs and in a fit of frustration, trashed the two new sets and had

to end up using coloured lights from previous years on what was to be

my all clear-lit xmas tree! after getting them all lit i wasn't

taking any chances so pussy-footed around the tree with 500+ lights

lit around my feet and finally, after another 2 hours strung the

tree. then came all my red and gold beads, and my 8 rolls of

glittery wired ribbon that i 'wove' through the branches and then 32

years of very special xmas balls.... 9 hours later (after many rest

periods) the tree was done... but i was by this time in excruciating

pain and spent the evening bundled up in electric throw blankies and

fleece blankies with a mug of hot cranberry cider and some favourite

xmas movies to keep me company. i feel 110 this morning and i have

to still do my Dickens Village, the boughs and lights around the

windows, up the stairwell.... decorate my wax candle chandelier....

but i had no fallen angel (poor thing) and no star trek tree... but

it was frustrating to say the least.

pat, same thing with drop-itis! guess that goes with the territory.

one last thing - my tree, it sure is purty!!!

love, karen

[Guest guest]

Dear , You are a Star Trek fan too? Well we have all the ornaments

I think. I bought him 3 more for Christmas this year, so that tree needs to

work!!! lol. Right now it's sort of dark since the only lights I could get

to work were all blue, but it sort fits with the space idea? Maybe??? I'll

just tell everyone they are around a dark hole...lol.

Your basement sounds wonderful, we don't have basements in Florida...but I

would sure hate the stairs too. Carrying anything of any amount at all just

kills my back these days. So I don't envy you. I loved you saying you will

just buy new ornaments...why not go ahead and just buy a new tree too? Then

you wont' have to go into the basement at all..lol.

Take care , and don't over do it like I did. It's not worth it in

the long run. Even though I'm glad my trees look ok today. I wrote and

told my husband they were all fixed and he was so relieved..lol. Poor guy

was ready to leave home yesterday. Take care and live long and prosper...I

can't believe I just wrote that...lol. Love, Fran

Re: [ ] VENTING..

Oh, Fran. Hang in there. I understand.

Now you've got me thinking about putting up my tree.

Mike is out of town until the 20th, and I had planned

to get the tree up before he got home. Now I'm

realizing that means dragging the tree parts up from

the basement one at a time, because I'd never be able

to get the whole thing up the stairs at once by

myself. And the ornaments, too, one armload at a

time, because they're stored in containers that are

too bulky for me to manage on my own now. (Hmmm... how

many trips up and down the basement stairs am I

willing/able to make...maybe I'll just buy new

ornaments and save myself a few trips. <G>)

PS: A Star Trek tree? I LOVE IT! You and I probably

have more in common than just PA.

--

[Guest guest]

Dear Rhonda, Same to you. Today went much better and hopefully every thing

will stay up and lights on. Have a great holiday. Love, Fran

Re: [ ] VENTING..

Fran,

I can relate so well. Have a wonderful holiday season in through all the

chaos. Best Wishes for the New Year too!!!!

Rhonda

[Guest guest]

[ ] VENTING..

*

My husband is a Star Trek fan, so

of course we have a Star Trek tree. (He had gotten so many Star Trek

ornaments, that I made him get a small tree, since they were taking over my

large Christmas tree......(snip)........... My loving husband, who by now is

getting

pretty frustrated himself. He is starting to think his wife is having a

nervous breakdown

Just out of curiosity, what was HE doing to get so frustrated....watching

you????

You gotta train 'em right....it took me 10 years, and a lot of attaboys, to

" teach " my husband how to decorated a tree " right " , but he's been doing it

for the last 35 years and does a heck of a lot better job than I could do

even when I was younger, healthier, and skinnier!

ly, I think we females often sell our men short on what they are

capable of doing, but even more often, we don't want to relinquish our

" territory " ...sometimes it's our own fault when we are tired! Every healthy

man I know is capable of cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, taking care of

the kids, decorating trees, buying the groceries, etc. They may need a

little " supervision " at first, but they can do it.and often as well, or even

better, than we can. The men in my life do all of the above, but,

admittedly, they have problems relinquishing the hammer, staple gun or car

keys, etc. from their own " territory " .

Our current system of partnerships is flawed both ways, and whether we are

the caregiver or the cared-for, we have to make some changes in the way we

operate. I notice on this forum, the women tend to vent/whine/complain more

often than the men....you guys do the macho role until you practically come

to your wits end and just fall victim to your own exhaustion and the demons

of wretched health. There should be some middle ground...you guys need to

communicate more freely when you need help or feel the need to make a change

in your role in the home, at work, etc..and some of the females need to suck

it up and work a bit harder on a stiff upper lip attitude. Of course these

are generalizations, and are not endorsed or practiced by everyone on the

list, but it is fairly indicative of the old school of marriage and life

partners. This is not a philosophy that starts after the big ol' PA rears

its ugly head, but should be worked toward from the beginning of the

I-do's....however, its never too late to re-negotiate the way a household

works, and it certainly has to get rearranged after ol' Arthur shows up!

I'm one of the lucky ones that had a pretty well trained spouse before I got

this disabling disease. Those of you that are younger and still trying to

establish the ground rules of marriage, babies, and bills have it tougher,

and folks that don't have a support system of any kind really have a rough

row to hoe. It's tricky knowing when to ask for help, when to offer help,

when to give up an old tradition, when to push yourself a little harder than

you want to....ok, I'll get off my soapbox..I don't know what brought that

on!

Liz T

..

[Guest guest]

Hi -

thank you so much for the warm welcome martin - it was the summer of

2003 when i was really active... then our house was broken into

(badly and i was dealing with insurance agents for over 6 months),

then a few weeks later my husband took me on a business trip to

japan, and then i went into hospital for late fall and after new

years, and then 6 weeks with no computer, and then my dad died.....

so that's why i fell off the wagon with the board. marti, bless her

dear heart, kept in contact with me and that's what brought me back

on - and i can't begin to tell you how helpful it is to have this

sounding board, this family that is supportive, understands, provides

much needed comic relief, and is just THERE!

fran and i have discovered we do seem to have much in common

(sometimes to our chagrin!) trust both of us to be going through the

same thing at the same time - not bad considering i'm on the west

coast in canada, and she's in balmy beautiful florida! i'm glad it

provided some giggles for some (and hopefully all) of you. nothing

better than a good laugh - beats the heck out of meds every time!

hope you are feeling better and the headaches are easing off martin.

from all accounts you are very well loved here, and i so look forward

to really getting to know you.

from a crazy canuck buried in snow in her peaceful mountain retreat...

love, karen

>

> Hi ,

>

> Well, this mail from you officially brings me up to date. Da

Daaaaaaaaa! A

> belated welcome back to you. I wasn't here when you were with us

before if it

> was two years ago but it is obvious that the people that were here

at that

> time are glad to hear from you again and from your posts I can see

why.

> Sorry you had so much trouble with your Christmas lights. I am

lucky in that

> my wife usually does the Christmas tree. I was always pretty bad at

it and

> would be even worse now. I had enough trouble getting the stuff out

of the

> attic. I don't know how I managed it.

> Well, between you, you and Fran gave me a good laugh although it

will not

> have been funny for you at the time. I think Fran should just have

asked someone

> to " Beam " her up when she was struggling with the Star Trek tree.

lol

>

> Hope to hear a lot more from you in the future.

>

> Take care,

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

HI sweetie,

just for that i'm going to blinking well have to take pictures of my

wonderful dickens village and beam them to you next week! you are

hysterical - and i can so appreciate your throwing tupperware into

the yard - been there, done that! (so what else is new????). i

never did break down and cry yesterday, but i was certainly

discouraged. i was using some rather unladylike language though - my

darned brain fog - and i swear, being a blond makes it only

worse.... i used to be so good at these types of things, but i just

kept looking at the blinking lights, plugging and unplugging them,

sitting on the floor with them all around me - i almost felt like

draping them over myself! there was no way on earth i was going to

take them apart once i got them all lit.... and so i have a few red

and green and blue and yellows ones mixed in with the clear - so

what - as you said, the tree isn't perfect but matches me

perfectly....

regarding your daughters - that's your call on whether you discuss

your bad days with them or not - i understand that as well. but one

thing i do know, when my mom has a bad day, when she is feeling

badly, i WANT to know... i want to be there as a support for her, and

to help if i can. your lovely daughters may also want this... and

they are no longer children. i know it's a judgment call, and not an

easy one to make. perhaps it would be helpful when they come this

weekend to sit them down and discuss it... only a suggestion hon.

thanks for the lovely comic relief fran. you are such a dear and i

love you.

xxx karen

> Dear , Thank God! I never purchased the Dickens Village

set. I would

> have had to have bought a gun with the set because that would have

been the

> end of me...lol.

> I'm sorry your day was a rough as mine. I managed to fix most of my

> problems today. It's not perfect, but then neither am I so it

works I

> guess...lol. Hope you feel better soon sweetie. Love, Fran

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Liz, I completely understand what you mean about " training " and I think

mine is pretty well trained these days. He works at our business we built

together, does the grocery shopping, the laundry, the cleaning (when it does

get done), all the yard work, the pool work, and drags out all the Christmas

things for me, and always takes down the tree. He did end up putting up his

own tree which was fine, but the tree is just something I enjoy. I think he

was mainly frustrated because he knew I was so upset and wanted to help, but

this is something I have always liked to do. Believe me I have no problem

letting him do the dishes, mop the floors or even let the dogs out, but

something's you just don't want to let go of. Up until this year, the tree

has always been hard work but always worth it to me. This year it just got

to be too much, or more to the point 4 trees got to be too much. Next year

I " m sticking to one, with a lot of help.

I do agree that a lot of roles in families need to be more even. My friends

have always told me I was spoiled rotten because my husband did so much

around the house when we were younger. I just always felt like most chores

go to both of us. Who ever was in the best shape or had the time, did the

chore. I will admit with this disease comes a lot of guilt. When I can't

do something any more and I know he is tired and after all we are 50 now,

not 25 anymore, I wish I could help more at those times.

I'm glad if you don't like decorating the trees that your husband likes the

job. Or the training worked...lol. It's something I need to let go of, but

I still love that part of Christmas. Take care, Love, Fran

[Guest guest]

Geez, , not bad at all! Get it all out of your system

now.....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and a few four letter words

in-between. (Do you think this is the way the porno sites express their

pleasure while we are here moaning on the screen about our aches and

pains???)

Sounds like you married someone that might be able to keep your little

prissy pants in line...although I bet she's got her hands full! You know

its true that behind every good man there is a great woman.....I think

you're pretty neat, so I bet I'd really like her too. My husband is still

in training although I've been really working on him for 44 years.

Underneath his tough ol' Marine Corp exterior is a big pussycat.he's pretty

neat too.

Liz T

Re: [ ] VENTING..

.....you guys do the macho role until you practically come

to your wits end and just fall victim to your own exhaustion and the demons

of wretched health.

Hi Liz,

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my wrists are killing me. My poor

knee...............you .......ahhhhhhhhhh my feet are on fire!

.......................How am I

doing? lol

Actually what you were saying reminded me of when we were newly married

(Not

you and I, my wife and I. lol) We had just arrived back in our hometown

from

Honeymoon and my wife said that we would need to do some shopping in the

Supermarket as there was hardly any food in the house. We got there, parked

in

the car park and my wife opened the door, got out and then noticed that I

hadn't moved. The conversation was quite short and went something like

this.

, " What are you doing? " Me, " I am waiting here until you come back "

, "

No, you are coming to help me " Me, " No, its ok, I will just wait here "

,

" Ok, you can stay there if you want but if you do you won't eat because I

will be buying food for myself but not for you. You can then go and buy it

when

you are feeling hungry! "

Two minutes later I was walking along in the Supermarket pushing the

trolley. Needless to say I am now pretty well trained. lol

Take care,

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry to hear about your father passing away. ... You could

certainly do worse than to count Fran, Marti and the others among

your friends.

>

> Hope you are feeling well today,

>

>

>

thanks for your kind words. i know i have some very good

friends here, and it has been very helpful. (thank you guys!) dad's

passing was very sudden and quite difficult - i was his little

girl.... that type of relationship. i thankfully have no regrets and

that has helped a great deal. re how i'm feeling today, Mr. Mac

Truck paid me a visit last night.... ahhhh, i hurt all over thank you

very much, but am in good spirits and ready to tackle day 3 of my

decorating frenzy! (it's almost done, and i am doing it very very

slowly....)

regarding your very comical response to Liz regarding training, i'd

like to meet your .... i wish i had had enough 'guts' or

whatever to do the same! i've never wanted to upset the apple cart

and it has been my downfall, i'm afraid. so here's the million

dollar question... can 52 year old dogs learn new tricks? LOLOL!

love, karen

[Guest guest]

Dear , Your wife sounds a lot like me. When my husband and I were

first married and living the life of domestic bliss...lol, I did the

cooking, (again just because I wanted to, I wasn't being forced into any

" female role " that I didn't want) Anyway, my husband walked into the

kitchen and I don't even remember what I was cooking, but the first words

out of his mouth were, " My Mom makes it a different way, she adds ..... "

All I said, was then " Well then go home and eat with your mother. " That

was the last time he ever compared me to her again. We've been married for

28 years, and most of them have been happy. The most important thing is we

were there for each other when times were bad as well as good. I think

that's what happens too soon these days, when problems arise people bail

out.

Anyway, she sound like a keeper. love, Fran

PS Kathy I remembered!!!

[Editor's Note: Praise be!!! LOL. Kathy F.]

Actually what you were saying reminded me of when we were newly married

(Not

you and I, my wife and I. lol) We had just arrived back in our hometown

from

Honeymoon and my wife said that we would need to do some shopping in the

Supermarket as there was hardly any food in the house. We got there,

parked in

the car park and my wife opened the door, got out and then noticed that I

hadn't moved. The conversation was quite short and went something like

this.

, " What are you doing? " Me, " I am waiting here until you come back "

, "

No, you are coming to help me " Me, " No, its ok, I will just wait here "

,

" Ok, you can stay there if you want but if you do you won't eat because I

will be buying food for myself but not for you. You can then go and buy

it when

you are feeling hungry! "

Two minutes later I was walking along in the Supermarket pushing the

trolley. Needless to say I am now pretty well trained. lol

Take care,

[Guest guest]

...

Dear Janet, What a sweet email. I know I can vent to the group and

everyone is always so good about listening. Most of the time, I do tend to

keep it inside, (though if you asked my husband he would laugh at

that...lol.) It's true the holidays can be overwhelming. I guess we just

do it to ourselves trying to make them perfect, when that's not possible for

anyone. I sure can understand why you hate to go pick out trees. As much

as I complain about the heat here in Florida, it's hard to imagine the cold

again with the joint pains. The cold can seem to go right through you at

times.

I always like to read your posts Janet since you are a nurse, and I know

you are really knowledgeable on all the health matters. Plus I love your

sense of humor too. I always love Christmas and now that I've calmed down,

things seem to be ok. I'm having a bit of a flare right now with my glands

swelling again around my collar bones. it looks like I swallowed golf balls

or something. Do you ever have problems like that? It always seems like my

glands swell and hurt just about the same time the PA is trying to kick in.

I feel like the Arava is keeping it somewhat under control, but just barely.

It feels like one little mess up and I could be right back where I was, but

I'm hoping that\s just my imagination. I've got to go get my blood drawn

again this week, so maybe that will show something.

Take care and thanks for the support . Love, Fran

In a message dated 12/5/2004 9:06:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

fran@... writes:

The holidays seem to point out the passage of time and with that comes

the

reality of our disease. It's not a pretty thing to have to face, no

matter

what time of year it

HI Fran,

You certainly have a right to vent, after all you cheer all of us up all

the

time when we vent to you. I love the holidays but dread them as well.

They

are the toughest time of the year for those of us who are in pain and the

fatigue alone will overcome us. Between cooking, trying to shop, etc.

it can

be overwhelming. My husband doesn't understand why I don't like to go

get

the tree with him. It is usually below freezing here in NY when we go

and the

places are outside. It takes him forever to decide which tree he likes.

By

the time we are through, my joints are aching all over.

I think for as many problems you have, you do wonderful and much more

then

many of us. You are always upbeat and you have a right to vent when

needed.

Just remember we are here for you.

Janet

[Guest guest]

Dear , You are probably right about my keeping my girls in the dark.

If my mom had done that to me, I would have been ready to shoot her. The

problem then is you seem to worry more if you don't know what is really

going on. I doubt I could keep my mouth shut anyway...lol.

We do seem to have a lot in common, but the weather sure isn't one of them.

I sure would love to stick my hands in your icy snow from time to time. I'd

probably cause steam to rise, since my hands get so hot. It's not bad if I

don't move much or keep the room at 73 degrees all the time. We've gotten

used to the cold air, but it's really rough on anyone who comes to visit.

They feel like they need a parka on at times..lol.

Well I'd best go and figure out what to cook for dinner. We've had carry

out so many nights in a row I can't stand to think of ordering from anywhere

again. It's amazing how fast you get sick of that and want home cooked

food. Take care and I'll write more when my fingers cool down. Love, Fran

regarding your daughters - that's your call on whether you discuss

your bad days with them or not - i understand that as well. but one

thing i do know, when my mom has a bad day, when she is feeling

badly, i WANT to know... i want to be there as a support for her, and

to help if i can. your lovely daughters may also want this... and

they are no longer children. i know it's a judgment call, and not an

easy one to make. perhaps it would be helpful when they come this

weekend to sit them down and discuss it... only a suggestion hon.

thanks for the lovely comic relief fran. you are such a dear and i

love you.

xxx karen

[Guest guest]

can 52 year old dogs learn new tricks? LOLOL!

Hi ,

Very unlikely I'm afraid. lol I was 25 when I started and its still ongoing.

lol

The thing is now. If we are in the Supermarket nowadays, I want to push the

trolley because it keeps me upright. lol

Take care,

[Guest guest]

The thing is now. If we are in the Supermarket nowadays, I want to push the

trolley because it keeps me upright. Lol

This isn't even funny....I practically had to beg and grovel to take my one

little package out of Toysrus last night pushing it in my cart...had to have

something to hang on to so I could get me out to my car.

Liz

..