De-lurking

[Guest guest]

Hi all. I have been watching the posts and thought I'd put in my 2 cents worth.

As far as the age question goes, I am 37 now and was diagnosed at age 30. I

live in Montana now but was diagnosed when I lived in Missouri. I have been on

Enbrel now for 5 weeks. Nothing yet. The injectable MTX worked wonders but the

constant nausea was more than I could take. I would even look at the syringe

and start heaving. It was miserable. As for the shoes, I wear Birkenstocks on

bad days and Borns on good days. I also find that being over-tired makes things

worse. I am a Nurse Midwife and deliver babies. Last week I was up all night 2

nights in a row and I can't seem to shake the fatigue. Now my partner is

leaving for 5 days with several ladies out there due and I'm already so tired I

could cry. (Sorry I try not to complain...for me it just makes it worse.)

Have a good weekend all.

Rae

[Guest guest]

Hi Rae,

Good to hear from you. Hope the Enbrel kicks in soon. I think I should be

starting on it within the next few days too.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

Hi Rae, I'll hope you extra strength and endurance and less pain

while your partner is on leave.

Hugs,

Chris(tine)

>

> Hi all. I have been watching the posts and thought I'd put in my 2

cents worth. As far as the age question goes, I am 37 now and was

diagnosed at age 30. I live in Montana now but was diagnosed when I

lived in Missouri. I have been on Enbrel now for 5 weeks. Nothing

yet. The injectable MTX worked wonders but the constant nausea was

more than I could take. I would even look at the syringe and start

heaving. It was miserable. As for the shoes, I wear Birkenstocks on

bad days and Borns on good days. I also find that being over-tired

makes things worse. I am a Nurse Midwife and deliver babies. Last

week I was up all night 2 nights in a row and I can't seem to shake

the fatigue. Now my partner is leaving for 5 days with several

ladies out there due and I'm already so tired I could cry. (Sorry I

try not to complain...for me it just makes it worse.)

> Have a good weekend all.

> Rae

>

>

[Guest guest]

WOW ! What dedication to weight loss. I admire you for sticking it out

and working toward your goal. I don't believe anyone is 100% dedicated

to WL but you sure followed thru with it and you should applaud yourself

- I do ! [clap, clap, clap, clap]

>

> I can relate to your struggle it is much like mine. I had RNY in 2002

lost 140 pounds in 14 months then stopped on a dime. I was not gaining

but could not lose any more. That may seem like a bunch of weight but I

still weighed 250 pounds. Many people have wls at below that weight so

even though it was much better I was still really sad about not getting

to at least losing to 200. I had a couple of foot surgeries in

consecutive Junes and gained weight both times because I was so

inactive. I thought I would lose after I went back to work but it didn't

and I was in that awful cycle of trying to lose feeling bad about myself

eating more crap feeling worse and really panicking that I would gain

all my weight back. I was hungry all the time. I went to the Dr and had

an upper GI and found out I had a stretched stoma that the food went

right through.

> I had a revision in Oct of 2006 getting the Band. Well it seems it is

harder for a RNY to band to get a good restriction and boy was that

right. I lost 20 pounds at the time of banding then up and down for many

months not really losing any more. I was so disappointed. After 4 months

I lost a fill of course that doesn't happen to many but of course it

happened to me lol. so I had to start all over with fills to get to a

good restriction.

> Now the good news. When I went to the Dr for my last fill a month ago

he filled me to 3cc in 4cc band I had been there before but at that time

I didn't feel enough restriction. This time the Dr asked about my food

and I said I just try to eat healthy and small portions. He said will

you give up bread and sweets. I promised that I would. I am a sweets

junky so I know where you come from. I also on my own decided to limit

my food to one cup. So now the weight is just falling off 15 pounds in a

month. After 5 years out most RNYers can't lose that much in a month.

> I started using " The Beck Diet Solutions Book " to heal my head and

thinking. Wls is not brain surgery and this book is the best IMO to help

my head. I am going through one of my most stressful times in my life

and still have control of my food which is a miracle.

> I know you can do it to. Don't give up get the book. Go back to your

support group and find someone to help you make a commitment with your

food. If I can live without sugar anyone can. I will help coach you if

you want I am committed to helping others. I have led a support group

through all my wls trials and it was not easy to watch most everyone

lose there weight while I was struggling. I can really tell people what

not to do with wls because of my experience. My heart goes out to you

don't give up.

> Ales

> RNY 7/11/02

> Revision Banded 10/27/06

>

> De-lurking

>

>

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>

[Guest guest]

Sandy (and all of you) -- Thanks.

> I believe we all need to get into some good therapy, ideslly

starting

> even

> before we are banded, to look at food issues. We have to start to

> understand what unmet emotional needs we are trying to " fix " with

> food, and then we can learn to choose better ways to meet these

needs.

Here's the totally ironic thing -- I have a therapist who has been a

member of OA for years. She *does* get it, but I'm so thoroughly

fucked up over this that I can't bring myself to talk about it to

her. I'm just too ashamed. She tries to encourage me to talk about

it, but I just can't force the words out of my mouth. I can talk

about it in a place like this because I'm completely anonymous --

y'all don't know me, and I don't know you.

> Others use Guided Imagery to help make the needed behavioral

changes.

> You might consider using the Bandster Success Guided Imagrey CD's

> that were

> developed specifically to address Bandster emotional eating, stress

> issues, motivation, developing patience, improving self-image and

> many more importnt Bandster issues.

>

> You can learn more about the Bandster CD's here: www.BandsterME.com

Thanks for this. I'll look into it.

> Then, depression is common with obesity. It often goes hand in hand,

> and depression and poor self-image very adversely affect band

> success. I'd urge you to discuss the depression with your family

doc,

> and possibly start some medication. this would also be a good chance

> to get some referrals for good therapists to start interview to see

> if there is a good " fit. "

I'm taking Zoloft. It helps insofar as it gets me out of bed in the

mornings and keeps me functioning well enough to be able to go out

and earn a living. Beyond that... meh.

> There is a document in the files I'd like you to find

> and print out, called " Band Eating Rules... " It covers all the

basics

> for band loss. If you - or anyone - has trouble printing it, just

> email me directly to request it, and I'll send it in a PDF format

> that should be easy to print. Email me at MoonshadowRN@...

Thank you, I will do that.

> Lastly, please don't give up! We'll help you get back on track and

> resume a good loss - if you're willing to keep working at changing

> habits and getting the help you (we all) need.

> you've done well so far, and there is NO reason at all that you

can;t

> continue to lose well!

Thanks.

Anyone want to be my sponsor? :-)

[Guest guest]

Beth, You're sure right! No matter how we stress safe weight loss,

there are who are malnourished and losing only from starvation - and

they get applause for that. i know one person who lost (with the

band!) somthing like 150 # in 7 months, from pure starvation and

bulemia. She is ill-looking, looks loike a skeleton, has lost most of

her hair, and truly is not well - but people think her loss is

great!! Ack!

YOU know better. That's all that matters!

SAndy R

> >

> > mehitabeth,

> >

> > you are not a failure. Far from it. with a band we

> > can expect to lose 50-100lb/year. you fit right in

> > that zone having lost 100 in 2 years. and even with

> > the problems your going through you are still losing

> > not gaining. I call that very sucessful. while your

> > surgeon's support group may not be the place for you,

> > I do think you should go back to see the surgeon and

> > get a teeny tiny bit of your fill taken out so that

> > you can eat regular foods again. you are having a

> > problem called maladaptive eating.

>

> I'd never heard that term. Interesting.

>

> its not really

> > your fault if you can't eat protein, but now that you

> > have identified it, you have to fix the problem. if

> > you feel like your doc is unsuportive, then try to

> > find another doc that might be better for you. my doc

> > is actually happier to see patients who are having

> > problems than those who aren't having problems because

> > he can help to fix them and also learn from them.

>

> My surgeon was and is a great guy. It's his staff I have a problem

> with. The person he has running his support groups doesn't have

the

> first clue how to run a support group.

>

> [more venting] I've heard these people say many times, that 1-2 lbs

> per week is ideal and that losing weight any faster isn't healthy.

> In the next breath, they turn around and lead a huge round of

> applause for someone who's lost 60 lbs in three weeks. Not that

> that's not great and all, but it *is* unhealthy to lose weight that

> fast. It's a *very* mixed message they're putting out there.

>

> There's one nurse practitioner on that staff I do like... I dunno,

> maybe I should call her for a chat or something. She's the only

one

> there who I think has even a tiny bit of understanding and sympathy

> for my dilemma.

>

> Anyway. Thanks for the thoughtful reply. It's appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh YUCK Sandy, that is not what I would call a success story. Sounds like

many of my RNY buddies rather than my Band Buddies!

Sometimes being a loser is a GOOD thing!

5'11 " 306 / 231 / 180

PreOp / Now/ Goal

Banded 09/14/06

>From: " Sandy " <MoonshadowRN@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: Re: De-lurking

>Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:28:44 -0000

>

>Beth, You're sure right! No matter how we stress safe weight loss,

>there are who are malnourished and losing only from starvation - and

>they get applause for that. i know one person who lost (with the

>band!) somthing like 150 # in 7 months, from pure starvation and

>bulemia. She is ill-looking, looks loike a skeleton, has lost most of

>her hair, and truly is not well - but people think her loss is

>great!! Ack!

>YOU know better. That's all that matters!

>

>SAndy R

>

>

> > >

> > > mehitabeth,

> > >

> > > you are not a failure. Far from it. with a band we

> > > can expect to lose 50-100lb/year. you fit right in

> > > that zone having lost 100 in 2 years. and even with

> > > the problems your going through you are still losing

> > > not gaining. I call that very sucessful. while your

> > > surgeon's support group may not be the place for you,

> > > I do think you should go back to see the surgeon and

> > > get a teeny tiny bit of your fill taken out so that

> > > you can eat regular foods again. you are having a

> > > problem called maladaptive eating.

> >

> > I'd never heard that term. Interesting.

> >

> > its not really

> > > your fault if you can't eat protein, but now that you

> > > have identified it, you have to fix the problem. if

> > > you feel like your doc is unsuportive, then try to

> > > find another doc that might be better for you. my doc

> > > is actually happier to see patients who are having

> > > problems than those who aren't having problems because

> > > he can help to fix them and also learn from them.

> >

> > My surgeon was and is a great guy. It's his staff I have a problem

> > with. The person he has running his support groups doesn't have

>the

> > first clue how to run a support group.

> >

> > [more venting] I've heard these people say many times, that 1-2 lbs

> > per week is ideal and that losing weight any faster isn't healthy.

> > In the next breath, they turn around and lead a huge round of

> > applause for someone who's lost 60 lbs in three weeks. Not that

> > that's not great and all, but it *is* unhealthy to lose weight that

> > fast. It's a *very* mixed message they're putting out there.

> >

> > There's one nurse practitioner on that staff I do like... I dunno,

> > maybe I should call her for a chat or something. She's the only

>one

> > there who I think has even a tiny bit of understanding and sympathy

> > for my dilemma.

> >

> > Anyway. Thanks for the thoughtful reply. It's appreciated.

> >

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hello mehitabeth,

Thursday, August 23, 2007, 11:38:05 AM, you wrote:

> Here's the totally ironic thing -- I have a therapist who has been a

> member of OA for years. She *does* get it, but I'm so thoroughly

> fucked up over this that I can't bring myself to talk about it to

> her. I'm just too ashamed. She tries to encourage me to talk about

> it, but I just can't force the words out of my mouth. I can talk

> about it in a place like this because I'm completely anonymous --

> y'all don't know me, and I don't know you.

First, find a new therapist. NOW! This one isn't doing anything for

you (at least on weight and eating issues).

As to a sponsor, if you want a virtual sponsor, a person who knows and

lives the steps, and don't mind that it is a male....I'm available.

Seriously. Don't worry about 13th step. I'm old, far away (I think)

and married very happily to another who I met in AA.

I have extensive grad work in psych, but am NOT a professional

therapist.

Contact me via private email if you want to follow up.

dan

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...