Re: HELP...WORK, ADVICE PLEASE!!!(update)

[Guest guest]

Thanks . You are completely right.

I went to the doctor today. My appt. was at 2:15 but I didn't get seen until 5.

What makes matters worse is that I was supposed to be at work at 4. I was so

stressed out that I couldn't make myself call. I was in the dilemma - go to

work or be seen by my doctor. I chose the latter. I had a real bad anxiety

attack. I didn't know what to say to my boss. I was so scared to call that I

didn't. Really stupid since my boss is a nice lady. My husband called me at

5:30 upset that my boss had called and said I wasn't there. I called her and

told her how sorry I was. I told her everything and said that I understood if

she wanted to hire someone else since I wasn't being very dependable. I told

her that my health was really bad and I am in alot of pain. I have an excuse to

bring to work tomorrow.

My doctor put me on the duragesic patch. He said to take ultram (2 every 4 hrs)

for breakthrough pain rather than the lortab since he is worried that all these

meds will be hard on my liver. He told me that my MRI results said that there

is moderate degenerative narrowing of the left sacroiliac joint. Right side is

okay. I still have pain in both sides but the left is definitely worse. He

said that he thinks I have sero-negative rheumatoid arthritis but he's not a

specialist. He said that psoriasis can be involved (only had it on nails) but

that my symptoms resemble rheumatoid arthritis. Can this be possible? I still

should respond to the same meds. I see my rheumy tomorrow. Hopefully he will

finally realize that my PA is active. My GP definitely thinks I should change

meds as the Enbrel is not stopping the progression of my PA.

My GP is adamant about not getting anymore steroid injections. He referred me

to a pain management doc for a nerve block and phys. therapy. Do they put you

to sleep for it? Is it painful? Hopefully I can get in soon so I can have some

real relief. I think the duragesic should help since I won't have the rebound

pain effect from short acting pain meds. How long does it take for the patch to

kick in?

I am going to work the 8 hr. shift since I missed today and I am afraid if I

lose my job my husband might leave me. Plus I feel really guilty for missing

today. My boss said she will give me plenty of breaks. I am hoping the

duragesic helps my pain. If not (and this sounds really bad), I have plenty of

pain pills. If one of the rooms is empty maybe I can do one of the hypnosis

tapes to relax. They have these nice recliners and these glasses you wear with

the light machine. It's supposed to make you go from an awake state to an

almost sleeping state. I tried it before and it was really relaxing. One of

the hypnotist at works swears that hypnosis can work to reduce pain and stress.

I believe the stress part but I am not so sure about the pain. If they don't

fire me, I will get a live hypnosis session on next Monday. It would be really

cool if it actually worked.

My mom said I am real bad about stressing myself out. She said I make myself

sick and I probably do. I admitted to my doc that I think I might be depressed.

He said he knew and that chronic pain makes people depressed. He increased my

nortriplyene too. I think most of my stress and anxiety with work is because of

losing my last job because of my illness. I was harassed by my boss and the HR

director. I think that makes me more paranoid. The people I work with now are

actually really nice.

Oh, and the icing on the cake. We were late paying our rent this month

(actually today was the final day before it being late) and we had an eviction

notice on our door. I know it's just because the asst. mgr. doesn't get along

with me. They said we have to be out in 3 days. Like I can even pack right

now. We're getting a lawyer since I am pretty sure they can't do that. As if I

didn't have enough on my plate....

Sorry if this is long. I can't talk to this stuff with my husband or family

cause they are just sick of hearing it. Thanks for being there!

take care,

[Ed. Note: It may just be a California thing (I don't know), but here in

California I'm pretty sure that if an occupant of a rental house or apartment is

ill, they cannot be evicted - period. I don't know who decides the occupant is

ill or exactly how it works, but I have heard of sick people staying in their

apartments rent free for years. Getting a lawyer is an excellent idea, because

hopefully he/she will know the details of the laws in your state. Ron]

Re: [ ] HELP...WORK, ADVICE PLEASE!!!

In a message dated 6/3/2003 10:04:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,

leslieiansa@... writes:

> Should I tell her I can't work more than 4 hrs. per my doctor's limitations

or just bite the bullet?

>

> am seeing my GP on thurs. to discuss disability. I have

> reached that point...

- Absolutely tell your boss. And tell her it is doctor's orders.

Maybe you can work 4 hrs. Friday and 4 hrs. the next Fri. if they need extra

help, but let them know that 4 hrs. is the limit due to medical restrictions.

(Offer suggestions - example: I can stay a few extra minutes when I'm having a

good day, I can work on Sat. for a couple of hours, etc.)Tell them you'd love to

do more and be more flexible, but if you disobey doc's orders, you won't be any

good to anyone.

I understand the emotional aspect that goes along with PA especially when you

have to work. Try to control what you can, be open and honest with your

employer, and other than that, it is out of your control, so STOP STRESSING

about it (easier said than done, I know) because you are making yourself worse.

Have a good cry if you need it, but then resolve that you will do something

that IS within your control (talking to your boss, relaxation techniques, a hot

bath, vent online or to an understanding friend, etc.) to make you feel better.

If your employer is worth working for, they will be understanding and

cooperative. And if not, then you don't want to work there anyhow.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

- Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you considered finding

any type of professional help with depression and other issues?

It worries me about you that you were afraid to call your boss and that you say

your husband might leave you if you lose your job. It seems like you have no

one in your life who is very supportive. If I'm off base or out of line here, I

apologize. It's just that you often sound like you feel you don't have a lot of

options or that you are afraid.

I understand. I have those feelings too sometimes.

But I have wonderful support from my husband, family and co-workers. If you

feel you have no where to turn for support, maybe seeing someone would at least

make you feel like SOMEONE is on your side.

Again, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - don't be offended by that suggestion, and I

don't mean to assume too much or step out of line. It's just that care about

the people in the group, and it sounds to me like you are hurting right now and

I wish I could help.

Hang in there,

[Guest guest]

,

You are in my prayers, big time, but you must stop buying more trouble than you

have and take control of what you CAN control, just like Ron said. His answer

was terrific, with one exception. If the Dr. limits your work time to 4 hours

per day, it is imperative that you give your employer a note with this

information and restrictions. I am in the HR field and to have protection under

ADA, you must have documentation of disability from your Dr. DO NOT DEPEND UPON

VERBAL COMMUNICATION, it will bite you everytime, especially with restrictions,

etc.

Carol Mayer

~~~~~<@

[Guest guest]

,

IF you go and pay them today, they MUST allow you to stay. Most of the time you

just have to give the the money and talk to them about why it was late... that's

all. Heck, my apt. complex let's you know from the get go that if you have an

issue paying your rent you need to let them know so they can possibly give you a

few extra days. I think every large complex runs this way? Did you at least call

them to say you were going to be late, and did you call yesterday to tell them

you would pay them today?

By the way, where is it you are working again? Sounds really neat!

In a message dated 6/4/2003 9:45:10 PM Eastern Standard Time,

leslieiansa@... writes:

> Sorry if this is long. I can't talk to this stuff with my husband or family

cause they are just sick of hearing it.

> Thanks for being there!

>

> take care,

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

You should be able to work this rent thing out WITHOUT the high cost of a

lawyer, but you or your husband MUST go talk with them!

T

In a message dated 6/4/2003 9:45:10 PM Eastern Standard Time,

leslieiansa@... writes:

> Sorry if this is long. I can't talk to this stuff with my husband or family

cause they are just sick of hearing it.

> Thanks for being there!

>

> take care,

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/5/2003 2:11:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

leslieiansa@... writes:

> Sorry if this is long. I can't talk to this stuff with my husband or

> family cause they are just sick of hearing it. Thanks for being there!

Hi ,

You definitely have a lot on your plate to handle. I hope the patch and

Ultram help you. I have some ultacet in the closet that I have not tried yet.

Let me know how it works. Next time if you are in a situation running late,

call your boss. If she says anything then tell her you ar doing the best you

can

with the amount of pain you are in. What else can she say? I think next

time you should call though. I went to my rheumy today and he said I am in a

flare and the stay with the Enbrel for now. He said to try it for a while

longer and when I asked about Humira he said that it is not as strong as Enbrel.

Eventually if I do not respond then he may want to try Remicade. He never

checked me for the HLA marker so today he took blood to check. Not only am I

having a flare but it feel like I tore another meniscus in the same knee that I

had a partial knee replacement in. I can't put pressure on that knee since I

felt a pop in it on Monday.

I hope things work out for you in your apartment and if your husband would

leave you if you lost your job then he is really not being very supportive.

Janet

[Guest guest]

,

I am seeing a psychologist. I also start a support group on the 20th. I really

don't have anyone in my life that's particularly supportive. My mom is sick of

hearing about it. So is my husband. He says that I am not the same person he

fell in love with. He said I used to have so many aspirations and now I don't

want to do anything. He thinks I don't get better because I don't want to. He

can be a real jerk sometimes but he still does things to show me he cares. He

is very stubborn. When I tell him I don't feel like he cares about me he says

the problem is that he cares too much. He thinks I take too many medications

and none of them help. he gets frustrated sometimes that he works 3 times as

much as me but then the other day he told me that soon he will make enough money

to support us both and I won't have to work. I think the real problem is that

he thinks I am not doing anything with my life. When I lost my last job I was

supposed to get better by being off work. I got worse so in his mentality he

thinks what is the point of me not working if I don't get well. I told him he

is just ignorant about my disease and he admitted it. He told my mom that he is

tired of babying me. My GP even asked why my husband was making me work and

that I should not be driving to work everyday in tears. The duragesic patch is

helping. I think if I can get some of the pain under control the rest will fall

into place.

Oh, and I am not offended at all! I am not the type of person that gets

offended easily. It's a hard thing to accept that your depressed and it's not a

fun place to be. I have been asking my husband to go with me to one of my

appts. with my doctor or the psychologist. He won't go to the doctor with me

b/c he hates the dr.'s because they " don't help me. " He won't go to the

psychologist b/c " he is good and doesn't need counseling. " I tell him that I do

and I want him to go for me but he still refuses. I can't make him. Sometimes

I think that I should just keep my mouth shut about my illness to him. I want

more than anything for him to be supportive but it seems like all it does is

make things worse.

thanks for listening,

Re: [ ] HELP...WORK, ADVICE PLEASE!!!(update)

- Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you considered finding

any type of professional help with depression and other issues?

It worries me about you that you were afraid to call your boss and that you

say your husband might leave you if you lose your job. It seems like you have

no one in your life who is very supportive. If I'm off base or out of line

here, I apologize. It's just that you often sound like you feel you don't have

a lot of options or that you are afraid.

I understand. I have those feelings too sometimes.

But I have wonderful support from my husband, family and co-workers. If you

feel you have no where to turn for support, maybe seeing someone would at least

make you feel like SOMEONE is on your side.

Again, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - don't be offended by that suggestion, and I

don't mean to assume too much or step out of line. It's just that care about

the people in the group, and it sounds to me like you are hurting right now and

I wish I could help.

Hang in there,

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/6/2003 12:25:45 AM Eastern Standard Time,

leslieiansa@... writes:

> I tell him that I do and I want him to go for me but he still refuses. I

can't make him. Sometimes I think that I

> should just keep my mouth shut about my illness to him.

- I'm so sorry that he feels that way. Maybe I am " lucky " that my husband

is disabled so he understands much more than most that there are times when I

just can't do certain things.

How about your Mom? Would she go with you? If you told her it was for you?

Maybe you could try the thing about not talking to your husband about the PA.

The silent treatment can sometimes speak volumes. If he asks what's wrong, you

can just tell him " You don't want to hear about it and I'm not going to discuss

it because you are unsupportive " - or maybe that's a bad thing to say - it's

what I would say, but like my husband would tell anyone, I have quite a mouth

Take care - glad your boss is being understanding! I hope that helps you some,

[Guest guest]

Regarding your husband... You should leave him because he is just making you

worse and not better.. The more stress you have, the worse you will feel.

He is not helping.. I recently moved to pennsylvania in the poconos.. And

i'm living on my own and have a beautiful house with 2 1/2 acres.. Wooded

lot with privacy and all.. And i feel so great.. Previous to this i was

living with my parents all my life, and they would always make me feel

worse.. They didnt even have to open their mouth and they piszed me off.

Now , i do what i want when i want.. I even have a whirlpool tub i use

almost everyday and it helps me physically and mentally. I love being on my

own , but it does get a little lonely sometimes.. Thats why i'm thinking

about getting a puppy..lol I love cats too but i am so allergic to them..

mike

[Guest guest]

Janet,

The ultram really doesn't do much. The duragesic patch is great. My only

problem (and today is only my 3rd day) is that on the 3rd day it started to

wear off. I just put my new patch on and I am feeling much better!

I know I really screwed up not telling my boss. I am EXTREMELY lucky that she

still wants me to work there. I even told her that I understood if she wanted to

hire someone else but she said no. I had never done that before. I had never

even missed work without giving advanced notice. I was just in so much pain at

the time I wasn't even thinking about ever going back. I am glad that

everything worked out okay.

I called the pharmacist to ask about the duragesic patch drying out. I told him

that I was outside in the heat (and it has been in the upper 90's to even a 100

degrees). I told him that I had been riding in the hot car and spent 3 hrs.

looking for an apt. today. He told me that the heat might have caused it to be

absorbed quickly. I guess I'll have to stay inside all the time. He then went

on to say that if I was in that much pain that I wouldn't be out looking for an

apt. Talk about making me mad. I told him that I have to have a place to live.

The whole reason I am looking for an apt. is to be closer to my job so I won't

have to drive so long since it makes me hurt more.

take care,

Re: [ ] HELP...WORK, ADVICE PLEASE!!!(update)

In a message dated 6/5/2003 2:11:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

leslieiansa@... writes:

> Sorry if this is long. I can't talk to this stuff with my husband or

> family cause they are just sick of hearing it. Thanks for being there!

Hi ,

You definitely have a lot on your plate to handle. I hope the patch and

Ultram help you. I have some ultacet in the closet that I have not tried yet.

Let me know how it works. Next time if you are in a situation running late,

call your boss. If she says anything then tell her you ar doing the best you

can

with the amount of pain you are in. What else can she say? I think next

time you should call though. I went to my rheumy today and he said I am in a

flare and the stay with the Enbrel for now. He said to try it for a while

longer and when I asked about Humira he said that it is not as strong as

Enbrel.

Eventually if I do not respond then he may want to try Remicade. He never

checked me for the HLA marker so today he took blood to check. Not only am I

having a flare but it feel like I tore another meniscus in the same knee that

I

had a partial knee replacement in. I can't put pressure on that knee since I

felt a pop in it on Monday.

I hope things work out for you in your apartment and if your husband would

leave you if you lost your job then he is really not being very supportive.

Janet

[Guest guest]

,

That would work if he would be more perceptive as to when I don't feel good. I

think he has become oblivious to the fact.

Thanks though. And, I have quite the mouth as well (which probably works to my

disadvantage when it comes to my marriage).

take care,

[Guest guest]

Mike,

Glad you got out of your parents house. If I could work full time I would

probably leave my husband. But, as insensitive as he can be now, I still love

him. I guess I am stupid. My doctor said that I should not let myself get

stressed, especially over little things. I know I shouldn't but it isn't like I

can stop myself. In a perfect world I wouldn't have stress in my life.

I am thankful that I have my dog. She keeps me company, cheers me up when I am

sad (and she can sense my feelings too), misses me when I am gone, always shows

me how much she loves me and acts all goofy to make me laugh. Dogs love you

unconditionally and best of all - they never talk back!

take care,